by Joan Jonker
‘I don’t know this school friend of yours, Monica,’ Jimmy said, ‘but she’s been the topic of conversation here for the last fifteen minutes. And that’s pretty clever, seeing as we’ve never set eyes on her.’
Monica quickly saw the chance of getting her own back. Not that she wanted the kitten now, for she’d been put right off it with all the talk of hairs and sharp claws. And if it made puddles on the floor, she’d be the one who had to clean it up, and she certainly didn’t fancy that! ‘Yer’ll see her tomorrow night, Dad, ’cos she’s bringing the kitten here. And she said we can have the box it sleeps in, and the blanket.’
The hot retort on Ada’s lips died when she saw the sparkle in her daughter’s eyes. ‘That’s very generous of her, sunshine, and yer can tell her I said so. But explain that we can’t take her up on her offer as there’s no room at the inn.’
When Ada opened the door to Hetty on the Monday morning, she asked, ‘Will yer give me a hand with scraping the walls today, sunshine? I’ve moved all the furniture into the middle of the room and covered it over with old sheets.’
Hetty looked up with raised brows. ‘Is that why ye’re barring me from coming in? If I say I won’t help I won’t be allowed in? Yer know I’ll help without asking, and I don’t care whether the room’s in a mess or not! So can I come in now?’
‘Well, I was going to suggest we go straight out, sunshine, so we can get our shopping over with before we get stuck in. I only need to put me coat on, so shall we be on our way?’
‘Are yer asking me or telling me, girl? Since ye’re blocking me entrance, I’d say ye’re telling me and I don’t have any choice. So I’ll stay here while yer put yer coat on, and then we’ll be off.’
Ada turned her head to take a coat from a hook behind the door. She slipped her arms into the sleeves and stepped down on to the pavement. ‘I had me coat ready for when yer knocked, and I’ve got me purse in me pocket. All ready, so I wouldn’t keep yer waiting.’
‘Aren’t yer forgetting something? What about yer basket?’
After pulling the door shut, Ada said, ‘I don’t need me basket today. I can carry what few groceries I need.’
‘Who are yer kidding, girl?’ Hetty linked her arm through her mate’s and fell into step beside her. ‘Ten to one all yer shopping will be going into my basket, and, soft girl that I am, I’ll be the one carrying the lot.’
‘Stop yer moaning, sunshine, and count yer blessings. After all, I’ve invited yer into my house to help me scrape the walls, and yer should show some gratitude. It’s not everyone I’d ask to do that.’
‘Shall I tell yer something, girl, before yer heart bursts with yer generosity? It’s not everyone who would be soft enough to help yer out. I’m the only sucker in our street.’
‘And a lovely sucker yer are, sunshine. I’m really proud to have yer for a friend.’ Ada quickened her step, causing her neighbour to do a hop and a jump to keep up with her. ‘If we make a real effort, we can have all the shopping done and be back home in half an hour.’
Hetty groaned. ‘I was really happy for yer when yer told me yer were having yer room decorated, but I’m starting to regret I ever said I’d help yer out. Little did I know it was going to disrupt my life so much.’
‘Don’t exaggerate, sunshine, yer life isn’t going to be disrupted for more than a few hours. Surely yer don’t begrudge giving me a hand for a few hours, do yer? Me, what’s supposed to be yer best mate?’
‘It’s been disrupted already, and it’s not ten minutes since I left me house and knocked on your door! First off, there’s been no morning cup of tea, and I always look forward to that, with our little natter. Second, ye’re rushing me so much I’m out of breath. And to add insult to injury, I’m going to have to carry yer shopping!’
‘No yer won’t, sunshine.’ Ada thought quickly that a bit of soft soap was needed. ‘When I was rushing to get me housework done, then move all the heavy furniture so we could get to the walls, it was you I was thinking of. I said to meself that as I didn’t need much shopping it wasn’t worth me taking my basket, I could put me stuff in yours, and I’d carry it. Never in a million years would I expect you to carry my things. Yer should know me better by now. I’m not ruddy hard-faced.’
‘Ada, how many years are in a million?’ Hetty asked, a sly look on her face. ‘Do yer know? Would yer be able to write it down?’
‘I don’t know, sunshine.’ Ada was well aware she was having her leg pulled, but she wouldn’t have cared if her two legs had bells on and they both got pulled. Just as long as the ruddy wallpaper came off her living room walls before the men came home from work. ‘I know it’s a lot, so I suppose it’s about a hundred.’
Hetty knew her friend inside out, and she certainly wasn’t as soft as she made out. She pretended to be as thick as two short planks, but she was far from it. Most of the time she acted daft to give people a laugh, for she liked nothing better than to see people happy. But in a serious conversation she’d soon show herself to be knowledgeable in every subject. ‘Oh, I think more than a hundred, girl, but why worry! My mam used to say, “Yer die if yer worry, and yer die if yer don’t, so why worry at all?” ’
‘Then all I can say, sunshine, is that it’s a pity yer don’t take after yer mam. I know we all worry sometimes, it’s only natural. We can’t have a life that’s all milk and honey. But you’ve made a career out of it. You worry over the least little thing.’
‘No, I don’t, Ada Fenwick, where did yer get that idea from? I worry about me family, but that’s all. And don’t tell me yer don’t worry about yours, ’cos I know yer do.’
‘Ooh, ay, talking about families, I knew there was something I had to tell yer.’ And as they walked towards the Maypole, Ada told her mate the saga about Monica and the kitten. It wasn’t all word for word strictly true, for she always added her own version of events to any story to make it more interesting. And she was in fine form, having Hetty doubled up with laughter. Her mate thought it was hilarious and there were tears of laughter running down her cheeks. In fact, it tickled her fancy so much, she was still chuckling as they walked back from the shops. It wasn’t until they reached Ada’s front door that Hetty realised why her arm was aching. She’d carried her mate’s groceries all the way home in her basket.
Ada stood back and surveyed the wall she’d finished stripping, and there was a look of satisfaction on her face. ‘That’s one wall done, sunshine, so if we carry on at this rate we’ll be finished about three o’clock.’
‘I’ve almost finished this wall,’ Hetty said, ‘and I think we should have a break now, ’cos I’m gasping for a drink. By the time the kettle’s boiled, I’ll have it all stripped and we can take a breather.’
‘Ye’re right, sunshine, we deserve it. It’s hard going getting this paper off. I think it’s been on so long it doesn’t want to be disturbed. I wonder if wallpaper has feelings, same as us?’
‘Oh, don’t be daft, yer silly nit.’ Hetty tutted. ‘Go and put the kettle on before I die of thirst.’
‘Don’t you dare die in this room before we’ve finished the job, Hetty Watson, it would be really inconsiderate of yer. Just think of the extra work yer’d put me through, with sending for a doctor, and then the undertaker. On top of that, I’d have the dinner to get ready for the family. I know Jimmy is easy-going, but he wouldn’t be too happy if he came home and there was no dinner ready for him.’
A smile came to Hetty’s lips as she said dryly, ‘I don’t think he’d worry so much about his dinner not being ready for him as he would about me being laid out cold on the floor.’
‘Ay, sunshine, we shouldn’t be talking about death, ’cos there’s many a true word spoken in jest.’
‘It’s you what’s always saying that God has a sense of humour, girl, so I bet He’s having a good laugh.’
‘That’s what I’m afraid of, sunshine! He has got a sense of humour, but He’ll only get a laugh out of people who are funny. And if there’s no o
ne in heaven at the moment who can make Him laugh, then the chances are He’ll be looking down to see if there’s any likely candidates down here. I hope to meet Him one day, when I’m old and feeble, so I can thank Him for the good life I’ve had. But I’m not ready yet. I’m far too young to want to join Him in heaven.’
‘Yer might not be ready for heaven, girl, but are yer ready to throw that ruddy scraper down and put the kettle on? I told yer ages ago I was thirsty, but yer talk too much.’
‘You cheeky article! If we counted the words we’ve used since yer asked for a drink, I bet you’ve used as many if not more than I have.’
Hetty sighed. ‘I’d be better off going home and making meself a cup of tea there.’
Ada moved quickly towards the kitchen. ‘In five minutes there’ll be two cups and saucers on the table, two biscuits and a pot of tea. And by that time yer should have the rest of the paper off that wall.’ As her friend moved out of sight, Hetty grinned when she heard her adding, ‘God knows, she’s been at it long enough.’
‘Yer’ve done very well, love,’ Jimmy said, casting his eyes over the bare walls. ‘I see yer’ve washed the paintwork down, as well.’ When he bent to kiss her cheek, there was a twinkle in his eye. ‘Not bad for someone of your age.’
‘Go ’way, yer cheeky beggar! I’m two years younger than you, don’t forget. So if I’m old, what does that make you?’ Ada clipped his ear playfully. ‘Anyway, I can’t take all the praise for the work. Hetty was a great help. I’d only be halfway through if it wasn’t for her.’
Danny came in at that moment, and he whistled. ‘I was expecting yer to have one wall done, Mam, but yer must have put in a full day’s hard labour to have finished the whole room.’ Then he sniffed up, his dimples deepening when he smiled. ‘And if the smell is anything to go by, yer’ve managed a delicious dinner into the bargain.’
Monica and Paul stood quietly listening. Then Paul decided to air the grievance he shared with his sister. ‘Me and Monica had to do without the jam butty we get every day, and now me tummy’s rumbling ’cos I’m starving.’
‘Ah, yer poor thing.’ Danny clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. ‘Didn’t yer have yer dummy to suck on while yer were waiting?’
‘Don’t be starting any shenanigans, for heaven’s sake,’ Ada said. ‘I’m not in the mood, ’cos every bone in me body is aching. Even bones I didn’t know I had are sore.’
‘Then sit down, love. I’ll put the dinner out,’ Jimmy said, pressing his wife down gently on to the couch. ‘Me and Danny will see to it.’
Ada let out a deep sigh. ‘I’m not going to argue with yer, I’m too weary. You and Danny can do it between yer, ye’re both old and ugly enough. All yer have to do is put five plates out and whatever is in the pan on the stove, share between the plates. Not equal shares, like, ’cos me and the kids don’t eat as much as you two.’
While she was talking, Ada’s mind was working. And as soon as the two men disappeared into the kitchen, she beckoned Monica over. Keeping her voice low, so it wouldn’t be heard in the kitchen, she said, ‘Keep quiet, sunshine, don’t say a word. I want yer to get a pencil and a piece of paper out of the drawer in the sideboard. There’s something I want Auntie Hetty to know, so I’ll write it down and yer can take the message to her.’ When the pencil and paper were in, her hand, Ada scribbled quickly. Then she folded the paper and gave it to her daughter. ‘Not a word, sunshine, just make sure yer give that to Auntie Hetty.’
‘But what if Uncle Arthur opens the door, or one of the girls? What shall I say to them?’
‘Uncle Arthur and the girls aren’t in from work yet. I’ve been watching for them passing the window. So off yer go, and remember, not a word to anyone.’
Hetty looked surprised when she opened the front door and Monica pushed a piece of paper in her hand before running back home. Filled with curiosity, she walked back to the living room and sat down before unfolding the sheet of paper. Her eyes moved quickly along the lines, and her tittering turned to laughter. For Ada had written that she was being waited on hand and foot because she’d told Jimmy her whole body was aching with working so hard. She suggested her friend did the same. Lay the agony on thick, sunshine, Ada had written, and sit back and be waited on for once in your life.
Hetty threw the piece of paper on the fire and watched the flames eat it up. Then she sat on the edge of the couch and swung her legs over the side. When she was settled, she rehearsed a few groans. That should do the trick, she told herself. If she was going to tell a few white lies, she may as well do it in comfort.
Chapter Six
Ada nearly tripped over herself as she hastened to open the door to Hetty the next morning. ‘How did yer get on? Did yer do what I told yer?’
‘I certainly did, and it worked a treat.’ Hetty was grinning as she followed her friend into the living room. ‘I’ve got to admit I felt a bit guilty at first, knowing Arthur and the girls had put in a long day at work. Still, my pleasure at being fussed over soon outweighed any guilt I may have felt.’
‘The kettle’s been boiled, so sit yerself down and we’ll have a cuppa before we go shopping.’ Ada stood with her hand on the kitchen door. ‘I cut off me nose to spite me face in one way, sunshine, ’cos when we were in bed, and Jimmy started feeling frisky, I had to fob him off. I was cursing meself, for I was feeling romantic too! But I could hardly start being active after playing the wounded soldier all night.’
‘It won’t hurt either of yer to go without for one night,’ Hetty said, then sat back and waited for the reaction. And she didn’t have to wait very long.
‘What d’yer mean, Hetty Watson? Anyone listening to you would think me and Jimmy were sex maniacs! And you and Arthur must have your moments, unless ye’re both made of stone. Or flipping icebergs.’ Ada disappeared just long enough to higher the gas under the kettle. ‘We’re still young enough to enjoy ourselves in bed, and speaking for meself it’s the only entertainment I get! It costs money to go to the pictures, and once the picture ends yer don’t get an encore. In bed, though, I can have as many encores as I like, ’cos Jimmy is always ready, willing and able. We’re good in bed together, and it doesn’t cost a cent.’
Hetty was quiet as she digested her mate’s words. Was there an implication there, that her Arthur wasn’t as able as Jimmy? She’d better put the record straight on that. ‘Don’t be bragging, Ada Fenwick, ’cos Jimmy would have to go a long way to beat my Arthur. And another thing, I let him have his way with me in bed last night. I pretended I was still sore, and let out a groan every now and then, but we both enjoyed ourselves.’
The kettle began to whistle and Ada pushed her chair back. ‘The water’s boiling, sunshine, so we’ll resume the conversation when we’ve got our tea in front of us.’ Five minutes later she was facing her friend across the table, her hands around the cup of hot tea. And she explained to Hetty why there was a smile on her face. ‘I promised Jimmy I’d make it up to him tonight, so we’re having an early night.’
‘What time d’yer call early?’ Hetty asked. ‘Six o’clock, as soon as yer’ve finished yer dinner, or will yer be able to hang out until the kids go to bed?’
‘I think I can hold out, sunshine, but I’m not sure about Jimmy. I might have to tie him to his chair for a couple of hours.’ Ada drained her cup and put it in the saucer. ‘Drink up, Hetty, and let’s make a move.’ After pushing her chair back under the table, she put her hand on the back-rest. ‘It’s our day for seeing to Eliza, and I wondered if yer’d have any objection to me telling her about us scraping the wallpaper off, and then kidding our husbands into waiting on us? It would give her a laugh, don’t yer agree?’
‘Oh, yeah, she’d certainly see the funny side.’ Then a doubt entered Hetty’s mind. ‘Yer wouldn’t tell her everything, would yer? Like what happened after we went up the stairs? I’d be dead embarrassed if yer did, ’cos Eliza is of the old school, and in her day, what happened in the bedroom was never talked about.’
‘Of course I wouldn’t tell her about our nocturnal activities, yer daft nit! I’ve too much respect for Eliza to embarrass her. Anyway, I wouldn’t talk to anyone about me private life, only you. So give us that cup so I can rinse it out with mine. I can’t abide coming in to dirty dishes, it makes me feel as though I’m an untidy housewife, too lazy to keep the place nice.’
Hetty passed the cup over. ‘If you’re a lazy housewife, I feel sorry for meself.’ Her eyes travelled over the grate and the polished sideboard. ‘Yer keep yer house like a little palace. Yer might have a dirty mind, but yer home is spotless. Yer could eat off the floor.’
Eliza smiled when she opened the door. ‘You’re on duty today, are yer?’ She stood aside to let them pass, then closed the door. ‘I’ve lit the fire because I was feeling the cold.’
‘Oh, yer should have left that for us to do, sunshine! Yer shouldn’t be lugging coal around at your age.’
‘I didn’t have to carry the coal, Ada, ’cos John came last night and he filled the scuttle for me. And he rolled the newspaper up ready, and laid the firewood out on the hearth. So all I had to do this morning was rake the ashes out and set the fire. I had it roaring up the chimney in no time. Just looking at the fire makes yer feel warm and the room cheery.’
‘Everywhere looks nice and cosy,’ Hetty said. ‘And there’s nothing like a fire for cheering yer up on a cold day. And it is cold out; the winter will soon be upon us.’
Ada held her hands in front of the flames before rubbing them together and sitting down. ‘What would yer like for yer dinner today, sunshine? Have yer anything in mind?’
‘I’ve got me dinner in, sweetheart,’ Eliza told her. ‘Vera had made a big pan of stew, and John brought some up for me in a bowl. All I need to do is put it in the oven to heat up.’
‘That was thoughtful of him,’ Ada said. ‘Him and Vera have been very good to yer over the years. They never miss a week without a visit.’
