Infused (Book 2 of The Pioneers Saga)

by William Stadler

  “What else do you see?”

  Caleb sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I see some dirt and some rocks. I don’t know Sarai. What are you talking about?”

  She kept her hand out and she smiled softly. “You’re right. This is how you are. You’ve given up the Naturalist lifestyle, but there are still parts of it that you hold onto, still dirt and rocks lodged in your heart.” She wiped her hands on her pants, and then showed him again. “Now it’s all gone.”

  “What does this have to do with me kissing you?”

  “Everything!” she said, throwing her hands out to her side. “You violated me…”

  “I don’t want to hear this again,” he interrupted. “I apologized. What else do you want?”

  “I want you to listen,” she said. Her voice squeaked as tears pushed their way to the surface. Her eyes fell to the ground, and she sobbed into her hands.

  “Sarai…” he sighed, not intending to make her cry. This time he was not prepared for her soft heart, and somehow it had inadvertently softened his.

  “What, Caleb?” Her voice was muffled in her hands

  He reached towards her and put his hand on her back. “I’m not trying to hurt you.”

  She caught eyes with him and wiped away a few stray tears. “Then please stop doing it.”

  “Just tell me what you’re trying to say.”

  She swallowed the lump that was caught in her throat from the sobs and looked away from him. “It just brought back bad memories.”

  “Bad memories of me?”

  “No.” She shook her head and wiped her nose with the palm of her hand. “I loved my emblem. I really did. I got to connect with things in ways that I never thought were possible. I can still remember the thoughts of the people and the creatures that I knew when I was a Naturalist. They’re like small voices in my head, silent whispers of the things I once knew. Some were good. Others I hate to even think about. One thing that the Naturalists do is that they intrude. When they hear a thought from someone, they take that thought as if it’s really what that person wants.”

  “You already told me that you didn't want to kiss me. I know that now,” he said, tenderly, voice empty of its sarcasm.

  Sarai squinted sadly and tilted her head to the side, wordlessly pleading with him to hear her out.

  “I’m sorry. I’m listening,” he replied, resisting the urge to touch his scar.

  “Naturalists have trouble figuring out exactly what a person is going to do, even though they can read each others’ thoughts,” she said. “They call it connecting, but I’d say differently. It’s more like invading. It's like knocking on a person’s door, hearing that person’s footsteps from inside, and barging in without being invited just because the person was at home.”

  “I wouldn’t say it’s like that. If a person’s thinking something, then surely he wants to do what’s on his mind.”

  Sarai gave a half smile. “That’s why you put me and Gardiv in danger when the Polarists kidnapped Shauna, and that’s why you kissed me.”

  “What! That doesn’t make sense.” He slung his hand to the side, and looked away.

  “It’s the Naturalist way. Act on the impulses. When something comes to mind, you just do it. You just say what’s on your mind. If you think it, it must be true. That’s not how people are. We deserve the right to think and to decide.”

  “But I think and decide all the time.”

  “It’s different, though. You still act on the impulse that seems the most dominant. You asked your mother why she didn’t leave your father. She told you that she didn’t leave him because it was not what he needed. She didn’t tell you that she didn’t want to leave. I can imagine that she probably thought about leaving all the time. But unlike most Naturalists who were faced with her situation, she stayed. Why do you think that so many Naturalists have broken homes?”

  “Because life takes its toll on people.”

  “You can’t blame life for your irresponsibility. The tough decisions, the ones where you decide to stay regardless of how a person treats you, that’s different from what the Naturalists teach. Why? Because the tough decisions are the smaller voices in the back of your head, the less dominate ones. Those voices were nearly impossible to reach when you had that stone.” She pushed her finger into his scar for emphasis.

  “This is hard to hear.”

  “It was hard for me at first, too,” she said as she put her hands on her hips. “But connection is not what the Naturalists do. Not most of them anyway. People like your mother are the few exceptions.”

  Caleb put his fingers on the corners of his mouth like he was trying to think of something. “You said that the kiss brought back bad memories. What did you mean?”

  She shook her head, fumbling over her words. “The mental invasion of the Naturalists has a dark side.” She bit her lip and looked up at him. “There was a guy who was interested in me, back when I had my emblem. His name was Bayl. This guy was handsome and fun, and he was a soldier just like me. I was only about sixteen at the time. He often helped me with my training, and I was starting to get feelings for him. He could tell, of course. One day when Dena was in Bachenlaw at the Alpha Council, I invited him over, just to see him. For a brief moment, I wondered what it would be like.” She pushed her bangs out of her eyes, gaze falling to the ground.

  “But he took it too far….”

  She nodded, ashamed. “I stopped him before he could do anything. But I can still feel his slimy tongue pushing itself against my closed lips. It was disgusting when he did it, and that’s exactly how I felt when you did it.”

  “Sarai…I’m really sorry. I didn't know.” He reached for her arm, gently grabbing her elbow. “That’s not what I was trying to do at all.”

  “I know…but that’s how it felt. It reminded me of when I was violated as a Naturalist. I haven’t felt that way in years.”

  Caleb let his hand slide down from her elbow and his fingers slipped into her hand. She pulled away a little, but it wasn’t the same feeling of rejection that he got from her from before. “What happened to the guy?”

  “Dena happened,” she said with a slight laugh. “She came back from the council, and she could feel that there was something wrong. I didn’t even have to say anything. She…was…furious…. She didn’t say a word to me. She grabbed a Cryanos and flew over to his place. She wouldn’t tell me what she did to him, but I’m sure that if she weren’t governor, she would have probably killed the guy. After a brief trial, he went to jail, and I haven’t heard from him since.”

  “Dena sent him to jail because of a kiss?”

  “It wasn't the kiss,” Sarai said, grimly. “It was the intention, and the Naturalists' intentions have gotten the citizens of Kyhelm in trouble more often than not.”

  “I just don’t get it, though. If you’re thinking something, how can it not be what you want?”

  “True connection is hard to describe. It’s being willing to understand someone, even when she doesn’t understand herself. As a Naturalist, people who didn’t understand themselves were almost as bad as Wanderers. It just didn’t make sense. If you listened to your body, you should be able to figure out who you are, right?”

  “Right,” Caleb nodded.

  “Wrong. There’s so much about yourself that you can’t know unless someone else tells you...unless someone else shows you. Reading someone’s thoughts doesn’t give you any knowledge about who that person is. It doesn’t even tell you how that person thinks. It just shows you what that person thinks.”

  “But if I know what you think, then of course I know how you think.”

  “Do you really?” she asked as she pulled her braid over her shoulder and put her hands back on her hips. “Then what if I told you that I wanted you to kiss me.”

  Caleb’s eyes widened, and his lips moved but only a few sounds came out. “I thought...what...wait...what?”

  “Wanting you to kiss me but not wanting to be kissed are tw
o different thoughts,” she said.

  “I have no idea what you’re saying.”

  “In my head,” she nodded and blushed as she looked away from him, “I wanted you to kiss me, but I know that’s not what you really wanted.”

  “How do you even know what I wanted?”

  “Your desire was to kiss me, but it was because you wanted to use me to get over Anise.”

  “That’s not…”

  “No, it is true,” she interrupted. “You had a dream about Anise. You wanted the dreams to stop, so you figured that if you kissed me then you wouldn’t have to think about her. I won’t be used like that,” she shrugged.

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “I want you stop using me to get over Anise.”

  “How?” he asked, sounding even more confused than before.

  Sarai shifted her weight to her other foot, and she let her hands drop to her side. The moon glittered off her golden skin. She flicked her eyes up at him, and she spoke softly. “By first thinking about me before you think about yourself.”

  =====

  Gardiv approached his sister’s house. His muscles were tense, and his head spun around in circles. What was she going to say? Why did she want him to come? So many questions came to mind, and he fought hard to cipher through them. The heavy wooden door stood between him and the woman whom he cared about more than anyone else.

  He tapped on the door softly or firmly. He couldn’t tell how hard he knocked. Something about the intensity of it all drowned out the sound. The door creaked open, and suspicious eyes peeked through the crevice.

  “Gardiv!” She smiled as the door swung open. Her slender arms wrapped around his body as she embraced him. He was so surprised at her enthusiasm that it took him a moment to hug her back, but he did. He felt like he couldn’t let go. “Come on in and sit right on down.” She motioned to him and gestured to a circular table in the living room.

  The house was well-lit on the inside, and the fire was blazing fiercely in the fireplace. A small stairway lead to the upstairs behind the table, and expensive bottles of wine were mounted on the walls around the room. Several bookshelves lined the room where he sat, and a wooden lyre stood near one of the bookshelves, tall and sophisticated.

  “Y-You still play?” Gardiv motioned to the instrument trying to ease the tension.

  She sat across from him, and her dirty blonde, curly hair hugged her thin cheeks. “Not as much as I used to. But I’d say I’m still pretty good. You look like you’ve taken care of yourself.”

  “Not as well as I’d like,” he said as she caressed his scar. He put his elbow on the table, and then he removed it trying to remember whether or not it was bad manners.

  “Why you so nervous, Gardiv? C’mere. Let me take your bow and arrows and set them in the closet,” she smiled, gesturing to him, auburn emblem flashing and lighting up her face.

  Gardiv struggled to take off his equipment. “I’m sorry, Natasha. I’m just a little nervous. I haven’t seen you in years,” he said, handing her his belt also.

  “Well I know, but I figured I’d have you stop by. We’re siblings, and we can’t be at odds forever.” She scurried into the other room to put his stuff away, and she brought back some cups along with some hot tea. “Have some?” she asked, pouring herself a cup.

  Gardiv nodded, holding up his index finger and his thumb. “Just a little bit.”

  “Not a problem,” she said as she titled the kettle. Her voice had the typical Bahoil twang that Gardiv was used to. He missed hearing his people talk but more than that, he missed his sister.

  “So where’s Mother and Father?” he asked, rubbing his sweaty palms on his leggings.

  “Oh, you know them. Out and about doing all kinds of things. You’d think they’d be slowing down, but the older they get the busier they get, I reckon.”

  “I hate to be abrupt, Natasha, but I think that it would ease my mind a little if you let me know why you asked me up here.” He took a drink of his tea and looked over the edge of his cup at her. “Tea’s kinda cool,” he said trying to keep the conversation light. Then he set the cup on the table where it thunked against the wood.

  She smiled and cocked her head to the side, watching him. “Why’d I invite you here?” The edges of her smile turned downwards, and her once welcoming eyes seemed to turn into cold, iron rods that rammed into Gardiv's chest. She stood up and flipped the table over. Sparks raced up and down her arms. Blue lights from the lightning scattered across the room. Her hair became electric. “To kill you!”

  “W-What? What did you do to me!”

  “You thought you was gone’ get away with killing Malto didn’t you?” she growled. She pointed to him as the electricity surrounded her.

  Gardiv tried to stand, but he fell over to the floor.

  “The tea was cool wasn’t it!” she screamed. “The water was from the Breathless Bramble, so you should be falling asleep soon, and when you do...you will hate what happens when you wake up.”

  “Nata….sha….” He let the syllables escape his lips. His eyes blurred, and she turned into three swirling figures from the dizziness. He reached up for her, or at least he felt like he did, but his arm didn’t move. He felt so heavy, and he passed out on the floor.

  =====

  He woke up to the feeling of wetness all over. Was he sweating? He couldn’t tell, since he could barely open his eyes. Trying to move, he realized that he couldn’t. He was tied up with his head pressed against the wooden floor. There was another splash, and he realized that his sister was throwing water on him. He peeled his eyes open using the muscles in his forehead as he looked up at her, squinting.

  “Wake up, you Wandering street beggar!” She was laughing, sinister and evil. No. It was worse. It sounded like the laugh of the old man, the man whose scraggly cackle had haunted Gardiv in his rusted Materialist cell for months. “You thought you were just going to kill Malto and get away with it? Wake up!”

  “N-Natasha...What are you doing?”

  “You’ll recognize soon enough. Just think about all those years ago and remember Malto. You’ll get a pretty good idea about what I’m about to do.” She grabbed a bottle of wine from the wall and leaned down near his face. Her dress tightened at her knees. “Remember what you did to him,” she said in sarcastic sympathy. “Remember how you KILLED HIM!” She smashed the bottle against his head, but it didn’t break.

  He tried not to scream, but he clenched his eyes closed instead. Bright lights filled the darkness behind his eyelids from the pain. “Stop...Natasha...please.”

  “Begging for your life? You sound like Malto. But wait. Did you let him live? Of course not!” CLANK! She hit him again. Then she broke the bottle on the floor and dumped the alcohol over his face. “You think Malto liked being beaten and burned by a savage? I’m sure he didn’t. But what do you think?”

  “Nata…”

  “Answer me!” she screamed. Lines of fire streamed over her body and then disappeared.

  Gardiv edged his hands around his hip slowly so that she wouldn’t notice. If only he could get to his dagger.

  She cackled. “Looking for this?” she asked, dangling his blade over his head. Then she dropped it. The point stuck into the floor in front of his nose, wobbling. “Oops,” she said, covering her mouth. “I guess I missed.”

  “Natasha. What happened to you?”

  “You happened to me! Just like you happened to Malto.” She stormed over to the bookshelf and snatched something off of it. Then she rolled it across the floor. The metallic sound echoed within the planks of the wooden floor. “This is what you stole from me.” It was a ring, and it stopped in front of Gardiv’s face, vibrating as it settled into the pool of red wine. “We was gone’ get married. But nope. Gardiv had a different plan, didn’t he?”

  “I was only trying to protect you….”

  “From what? You?”

  “Malto...was hitting you,” he said as he pushed his face off the floor
with this forehead.

  “It was an argument. That’s what people do. Just like you and me. We’re arguing now!”

  “Natasha….”

  She stomped on his head. The pain cut through his neck and through the side of his body. “You don’t get to say my name.”

  “What are you going to do to me?”

  She held out her hand, and sparks snapped across her fingertips. The sparks transformed into tiny explosions which erupted into a ball of flames. She touched the flames with her other hand and the ball expanded. Then she stretched her hands out. The fire elongated. “I figure that sense you like to burn people alive, I would just let you get a taste of it yourself.”

  “Please don’t do this….I love you, sister.” As Gardiv spoke, his breath blew tiny bubbles in the cool wine that pressed against his hot cheek.

  “I’m not your sister!” She raised her hands over her head, preparing to sling the flame at him.

  BANG! BANG! BANG! Someone was pounding on the door. “Gardiv! Are you in there?”

  “Caleb!” Gardiv called out between breaths.

  The door exploded as Caleb doused it with the Materialist Anaerobia. He and Sarai burst into the room. Caleb dunked his dagger in the Polarist Anaerobia and threw it into Natasha’s leg to Balance her. The fire over her head dissolved, and she dropped to the floor screaming in agony. Sarai rushed over and cut Gardiv free. He staggered to his feet, holding his head and squinting one eye to rid himself of the pain.

  “What happened?” Caleb asked.

  “Sh-She tried to kill me,” Gardiv said as he stumbled back into one of the bookcases, knocking off a few books and vases. “She really tried to kill me.”

  “Serves you right!” Natasha screamed as she writhed on the floor. Her fingers were bent like claws as she resisted the cold from the dagger.

  Gardiv shook his finger in a distressed way at Caleb. “Take that dagger out of her leg.” He was still holding his hand on his head.

  “She just tried to kill you!”