Crossing the Line

by Annabelle Eaton

  “Do you need to get Aden a gift?” Mum asks.

  “Yes, but I don’t know what to get him?”

  “What about a nice Italian leather watch?”

  Okay that’s actually a good suggestion. “Yeah, he’d like that.” Aden has quite a big watch collection. “Black leather is more him, I think.”

  Mum smiles. “Okay. I may get one for your father too. He’s a big fan of the Italian craftsmanship.”

  “Oh, and I want to get Aden a crappy fridge magnet. You think they’ll have a novelty gift shop around here?”

  Mum pulls a sour, just sucked on a lemon face. “No, I do not. No one has a need for those tacky things.” She walks off towards the jewellers, and I stick my tongue out behind her back like a six-year-old.

  I step into the shop behind Mum, and I’m instantly hit with the smell of new leather. It shouldn’t smell nice, because of what it is, but it does. The guy behind the counter, your typical Italian Stallion, looks like he should be shirtless, smothered in baby oil and sprawled across a motorbike.

  Mum starts talking in Italian, and I’m done. I can understand a lot of words, but I can’t hold an entire conversation. She turns to me when Mr Italy walks into a room behind a red curtain. “He’s getting the watches.” I look down at about fifty watches lined up neatly in the display case. “Oh not those, Amelie. They keep the best ones in the back.”

  “Of course,” I reply and turn my head so I can roll my eyes without her seeing. Next time Mum suggests we go away for longer than a weekend I’m ill.

  Mr Italy walks back out, his chocolate eyes shining with euro signs. Mum may be shallow, but she was right about the better watches. I instantly narrow it down to two. One is round, and the other is more of a dress watch with a curved rectangular face.

  “Oh goodness, Amelie! Will you please choose?” Mum hisses.

  “Don’t rush me or I’ll make the wrong choice!”

  “He will love either of those. They’re both lovely watches. Now you’re being ridiculous. It does not take this long to make a decision.”

  “Why don’t we split up and meet later?” I suggest. Say yes. Please, please, please!

  Mum sighs. “Fine. I’ll call you in an hour.” And then she’s gone.

  Sighing in relief, I look back at the man that would be in my bed if I didn’t have a boyfriend. “She seems hard work,” he says in a thick Italian accent.

  “You have no idea. I’ll go with this one, please,” I say, pointing to the round face one. He has a lot of fancy watches, so I like that I’m getting him a more casual one he could wear with a simple t-shirt.

  I sit next to Mum on the plane and actually feel a little sad to be leaving. She’s driven me insane, but it was kind of nice. We’ve never had that before, and I’ve always felt like she didn’t want to spend any time with me. It’s nice to know that it was her idea, and that means she can’t dislike me that much, right?

  “Well that was a very pleasant holiday,” Mum says, sipping on yet another glass of champagne.

  I nod. “Yeah it was. Thanks, Mum.”

  “We should do it again. Make it an annual thing.” All right, calm down. An annual weekend spa would be okay but not another weeklong holiday. “I’ve really enjoyed spending time together. We’ve never done that before, have we?” I shake my head. “I do love you, Amelie. Even if it doesn’t seem like it to you.”

  My heart swells and my throat closes up. I’ve not heard her say that since I was a child. “I love you too, Mum. Even if it doesn’t seem like it to you.”

  She smiles and raised her glass. “To us.”

  I clink my glass against hers, fighting the urge to cry. “To us.”

  As the plane lands, I make the decision to try more with my parents. There must be something that we can do together, some common ground, like a spa with Mum or a rugby game with Dad. I definitely wouldn’t mind looking at men in shorts for a while. Maybe there’s even something me and Isabel can do together? I could take her out to a bar and see if I can find her a man.

  “Well, back to normal,” Mum says as our plane lands in England. “You ready for lunch at the Fords?”

  “Definitely.” I’m more ready to see Aden again.

  Mum strokes my hair and a lump the size of a football appears in my throat. It’s the most affectionate thing she’s done since I was a child and I feel like crying again. Get a grip! “Let’s go then, sweetheart.” I nod, unable to say anything because I’m so overwhelmed with her being a ‘proper’ mum. I smile and follow her off the plane.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  My heart leaps as soon as my eyes land on Aden. His face lights up as he smiles, and he immediately makes his way to me, walking fast, as eager as I am. I jump into his arms and hug him tight. My family and his too probably will no doubt frown at our exchange, but I can’t care less. I’m too happy to see him again.

  “I missed you,” he murmurs against my neck as he inhales.

  I hug him tighter, wanting and needing more of him. “I missed you too.” No more going away and leaving him, not for a whole week at a time anyway.

  Turning around after letting Aden go, I see my grandparents, my mother’s parents at that. My grandma is like Mum on ecstasy. I smile. “Hello, Grandma, Grandad.” I turn and give Collette and Richard a quick hello too.

  “Amelie, welcome back. We trust you enjoyed your holiday,” Grandma says. Before I can reply and continue the painful small talk, she adds, “Shall we eat? We’ve been waiting for you and your mother for half an hour now.”

  Jesus, she sounds annoyed at us. We weren’t the ones in control of the bloody plane. “Of course, Mother. Let’s go through,” Mum says and ushers us through with her steely look. Grandma does it better, but Mum definitely learnt it from her.

  The cook has made a lunch buffet of tiny rolls that are so small they shouldn’t even have a name and the fillings sit on top. I pick up two and place them back together before putting it on my plate. Rolls belong together. Aden tries to hide his smile beside me and picks up two halves, but the pussy leaves them separate.

  Chilled champagne is poured, and I take a long gulp. I don’t even like it that much so I don’t know why I drink it. Free booze, I suppose. “Did you get the hang of skiing in the end?” Aden asks as everyone else falls into conversation.

  “I didn’t fall so epically as the first day again, but I’m still not very good.”

  “It takes a few times, babe.”

  “So when do you think you’ll be giving up work then, Amelie?” Grandma asks, cutting into my conversation with Aden.

  I frown. “Giving up? Why would I do that?”

  “Oh come on. I think it’s been going on long enough now. This was only supposed to be temporary. You can’t seriously tell me you would rather be at work?”

  Temporary? I’ve never said that. “Why did you say temporary?” I ask.

  “Oh come on now, let’s not get into that,” Mum says. “Eat up everyone.”

  “No.” She’s hiding something. “Grandma, why was it only supposed to be temporary?” The room falls silent, and I start to feel sick. What the hell is going on? I look up at Aden for answers and reassurance, but he looks just as confused as I am. “If someone doesn’t tell me what’s going on right now-”

  “Alright, alright,” Mum snaps. “There’s no need to cause a scene.” I’ll be the judge of that in a minute. “When you told your father and I that you want to work we decided to help. We only wanted to protect you, Amelie.”

  My throat runs dry. “How do you mean? What did you do?”

  “We spoke to Richard, who we knew was interviewing PAs for Aden, and asked for his help.”

  My jaw drops. “You asked him to give me the job?” Oh shit I can’t believe they’d do that to me. They got their friend to give me a job and let me think I’d earned it. My cheeks heat up, and I want the ground to swallow me. I’m humiliated.

  “Please do not overreact, Amelie. We wanted to protect you. We knew th
at when it all…came to ahead, it would be better to have someone that would bury the problem.”

  “What the fuck does that mean, Mum?”

  “Now there is no need for that.” I close my eyes as my heart breaks. I thought we were starting to get along. When I open them again, Mum looks unashamed. “We knew it would never last and you would eventually come around to our way, and when you did we wanted your boss to remain silent.”

  “We were getting somewhere, Mum. I thought we were finally starting to get along. How could you do this to me? Do you have absolutely no faith in me at all?” I say, my voice betraying me and breaking midsentence. Why can’t she just be a mum? If I fall, so what, at least I tried. She should just be there.

  “Don’t be so melodramatic, Amelie.” She shakes her head as if I’m overreacting and what she did is perfectly fine. Does it mean nothing to her that she’s hurt me? I can’t do this.

  I stand up and run from the room as fast as I can. Tears swim in my eyes, blurring my vision. I have never felt so betrayed and worthless in my life. How could they both think so little of me? Their image and reputation means more to them than their own daughter.

  I should have never gone away with Mum or even tried to get along with her. I knew it was too good to be true. So stupid! Swiping my handbag from the side table by the door, I sprint outside towards my car. What is wrong with me?

  “Amelie,” Aden shouts after me. Ignoring him, I jump in my car and shove the key card in the ignition. I know I should wait for him, but right now I just want to be alone. He’s running towards my car, but I drive off.

  I don’t have anywhere to go. Will would be at home but then I’d have to talk about what’s happened, and I’m too hurt and angry for that. I feel as if Mum’s just stomped all over my heart. She didn’t even see anything wrong. Her lack of faith in me is crushing. I can practically feel the huge knife jabbing in my back.

  Swiping tears away with the back of my hand, I drive on aimlessly, turning down random roads and trying to take deep breaths. A hotel is my best bet. I need to be alone and think about what I’m going to do next.

  Aden will probably be looking for me, but his car was blocked by my dad’s, so there’s no way he would have been able to catch me up. I pull into the car park of the first hotel I come across – a Premier Inn – and park out of sight. Not that anyone will look for me here.

  My phone buzzes in my bag, but I ignore it. I’ll text Aden when I’m in my room and have calmed down a bit. If that is possible right now. If it’s Mum calling, she can just go straight to hell. Who do they think they are to make decisions like that for me? They asked their friend to give me a job so when I fuck up and leave – or get fired – we’ll be able to keep it quiet. I knew they didn’t believe in me much, but I had no idea it was so little.

  I swallow the lump in my throat and wipe under my eyes, hopefully wiping away smudged mascara in the process. I’m done with them. There is no going back from this. I knew I shouldn’t have tried letting Mum in; I knew something like this was going to happen.

  “Do you have any rooms free?” I ask the receptionist, putting on my best fake smile.

  She smiles and taps away at her computer. “We have two doubles left. Would you like one?”

  No, I’m just asking. Jesus I’m standing her looking like shit – probably like I’ve just found my boyfriend in bed with another woman shit – and she asks if I want a room. Why else would I be here! “Please,” I reply.

  Within minutes, I’m booked into a room and handed a room card. “You’re on the ground floor. Room twenty-three. Just follow the corridor to the left.”

  “Thanks,” I mutter and walk along the corridor. This isn’t how I imagined today would go. Lunch was always going to be a challenge, but I had no idea it would be so humiliating and heart breaking.

  My room is at the end, which was good because I want to be out of the way of everyone and everything right now. In my bag, my phone starts ringing again. Aden will be worrying. I open my door and let the phone ring off before I send Aden a quick text letting him know I’m okay. Lie.

  His reply comes seconds later: I need to know you’re OK. Please answer.

  Sighing, I turn my phone to silent and throw it down on the bed. Please just give me a couple of hours.

  I fill up the tiny kettle and pour the sachet of instant coffee into one of the mugs, wishing I had picked up a bottle of vodka on my way out. A steady stream of tears trickles down my face and I make no attempt at wiping them anymore. My phone vibrates on the bed, confirming Aden hasn’t got the message.

  I sit down on the bed, holding my half size mug of coffee and staring into space, trying to work out what the hell I’m going to do now. Allowing Aden talk me into giving them a chance was a huge mistake. I should have listened to my gut feeling and then I wouldn’t feel like this. Mum may love me – in her way – but it’s not real or meaningful.

  My phone rings again, and I groan in frustration. Fuck off!

  “What?” I snap.

  “Millie, finally. Where are you? I’m so sorry about what happened. I really am. Just tell me where you are, and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  My eyes sting, and I put my drink down, curling up on the bed. “I told you I didn’t want any part of that life.”

  He sighs. “I know.”

  “You pushed.”

  “I just want you to be happy. I know you love your parents, and I wanted you to have a good relationship with them.”

  “Some people can’t have a good relationship with their parents.”

  “I didn’t want you to be one of them. All I want is for you to be happy. Baby, you’re my whole world.”

  “Leaving would make me happy. I told you that so many times.”

  “Okay, I messed up. I’m sorry. Please just tell me where you are. I need to talk to you and fix this.”

  “Chocolate and flowers won’t do it, Aden.”

  I hang up and then feel bad because it’s not his fault. My heart breaks again, and I text him the hotel and room number. When I hear his reply beep through my phone, I press my face in the pillow and sob, knowing I don’t need to read the text because it’ll just be him saying he’s on his way.

  There is no way I want to talk to my family. Harriet and Isabel probably knew. I want to call Oliver and ask if he knew too, but I’m scared he’ll say yes. There has to be one person I’m related to that isn’t waiting for me to fail.

  Twenty minutes later, there’s a knock on the door. Time to face Aden. I push myself off the bed and open the door, not bothering to try and make myself look better.

  Aden smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Hey, baby.”

  I step back so he can come in. “You want to sit?” I ask, pointing to the small table and two chairs in the bay window.

  “Sure.” He makes no move to hug me, even though I can tell he’s itching to by the way he hangs around close by. He’s scared of how I’ll react if he does. “On a scale of one to ten, how mad at me are you?”

  “Fourteen,” I reply, though it’s myself I’m mad at really.

  He nods once and sits down, resting his arms on the table. “Right. That mad.” He pushed me towards it, but he’s not responsible for the outcome. “Look, Millie. I… I don’t know what to say to make it better. I’m so sorry for what they did. I can’t believe they planned it. Have you spoken to them since?”

  “No, and I’m not going to. I don’t want anything to do with them.” My face suddenly falls as a horrible thought enters my head. “Did you know?” I whisper. Aden’s dad is the one that hired me but on Aden’s behalf. Was he in on it too?

  “No, of course I didn’t. Millie, I would never do that. I believe in you, baby.” His gorgeous blue eyes look so hurt that it makes my heart ache. Aden can be an idiot sometimes, but he’s nothing like them. He genuinely wants the best for me.

  I rub my temples, feeling a banging headache coming on. “I know you wouldn’t. I’m sorry. Everything’s chan
ged now. I can’t work for you anymore. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Come on, you don’t need to do that.”

  “I do.” I didn’t get the job because Richard thought I was the best candidate. I got it because my parents asked for his help to try and make me fall on my arse so I’d crawl back to them. There is no way I can go back there knowing that. I want a job someone believes I can do.

  He sighs and even though he doesn’t like the idea of me quitting, he understands why I can’t stay. “Will you let me help you find something else?”

  “No. Thank you but I don’t want anyone else involved. I can do this by myself.”

  “Okay,” he replies. “Millie, I don’t know what to do. I feel like you’re about to tell me to get the hell out of your life too and it’s fucking terrifying. Tell me how to make it better. I love you, and I’ll do anything. Please, baby.”

  My heart shatters. I push myself up and straddle his lap. I don’t ever want him to feel like that. I just need to forget them, to cut them off.

  “Hold me, that’s what you can do. You’re all I need.” He holds me tight, picking me, walking to the bed and laying me down. I grip hold of him and bury my head in his chest. Their betrayal hits me again and I brake down, sobbing against Aden’s top and soaking it through.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Aden looks at me and forces a smile. He’s going to some shitty dinner his parents are attending, and mine too. It’s awkward watching him get ready to go when I refuse to be anywhere near them. I know he feels torn between having to attend and wanting to support me. I’d never ask him not to go, he has business associates and friends there, so I don’t want him to miss out. We’ve agreed to keep that part of his life separate from us.

  “Maybe I should cancel. I could pretend I’m ill,” he says and straightens his dinner jacket. “We could order Chinese or Indian.”