Breaking Bad: 14 Tales of Lawless Love

by Koko Brown

  "Okay! Okay!" I pressed my hands against his chest. "Breathe, Josh! Jack is being an asshole, I get it. I will go and talk to him. I will. But you need to calm down, okay? I will handle Jack and make sure he keeps his shit together, but I need you to stick to the script, okay? I know you want bigger and better, but some of the most memorable characters are supporting roles! All you need is one killer performance, no matter how small, to show everyone you know how to command an audience and a screen with the minimal amount of lines. I know you can do that. But to do that... you need to stick with the script. Can you do that for me?"

  Josh rubbed the back of his neck and scowled, but slowly nodded. "You can shut him up?"

  "Lips locked."

  "Fine."

  I took a deep breath, relieved. "Great. Okay, I'm going to go find Jack and smooth things over. Please go back out there and get ready for the next scene. Every minute we aren't filming—”

  "I know, I know." Josh took a deep breath and shook himself off. "You're right. That was unprofessional of me and I'm sorry. He just gets under my skin and—”

  "Taking care of it."

  "Right. Right." Josh grabbed his script and jogged out of the trailer. "Thanks, Alison."

  "No problem." I smiled tightly and continued my search for Jack, muttering under my breath the entire time. This, this right here, was why I just wanted to work in casting. Find the best people, find the people who would make the magic, do all the research and the digging like Sherlock Holmes, and then disappear.

  I had no idea how directors did this every day. Oh my god.

  I found Jack outside, signing autographs for a group of tourists and taking photos of him flexing or grabbing the teenaged boys in headlocks. I had to stop for a minute to watch, because he was like a totally different person out there. The crowd loved him and he ate up their energy. Unlike Josh, who was so desperate to be seen as the best, Jack just wanted to be out there with the people, making them laugh or cry or get excited. I didn't think he'd even care if he won an award.

  Sometimes, that difference could be paramount.

  The ground dispersed and Jack turned to see me watching. He flashed a dangerously handsome smile and jogged over. "Came to watch your man work?"

  "I don't know, are you my man?" Butterflies kicked up in my stomach, but I tried to ward them off, because I still had a job to do.

  "Please," Jack scoffed. "I've been your man from the moment you seduced me on a pole." He waggled his eyebrows at me.

  I smiled back, but swallowed it down.

  "Uh-oh. You're about to go all babysitter on me, aren't you?" he said, arching a brow.

  "I am not your babysitter!" I snapped. "Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to... I'm just so tired of hearing that."

  He frowned. "Look, Josh threw a hissy fit over his lines, and he needs to stop trying to get other people to fix his shit for him, okay? If he wants to play with the big dogs, he needs to be able to handle the big dogs. Alone."

  I crossed my arms and pursed my lips, unamused. "He said you're harassing him on set, getting everyone to laugh at him."

  "To be fair, he's making it very easy."

  "Jack!" I groaned. "This is such a temporary thing, okay? Movies end quickly and no one has to see each other again until the premiere a year later. I doubt anyone will put you two together for a promo tour, so if you could please just cut the kid some slack and keep your head down for the last month of filming? We're burning serious cash here because you two can't get along. Denver told me you guys have stopped filming six times already this week because of fights, and he's getting pissed."

  Jack, to his credit, looked marginally sorry. "I don't mean to piss off Denver."

  "So keep your shit together for Denver. Also, in case you forgot, he's Denver goddamn Latmini, so let him deal with Josh and his alleged shitty acting choices, okay? Lest we forget, I hired him on, so we both know he's not terrible. Please don't insult me or Denver or the rest of the cast over this."

  "You only cast him because of his dad."

  "Denver told me to pick the best cast and I stand by that." I cocked an eyebrow at him and poked his chest. "So play nice."

  Jack ducked his head, but came up smiling. "You're right. No, you are. I'm a jackass and I'm sorry. That guy... he is annoying as hell, but I know you all know what you're doing. This is an ego thing and I need to cut that shit out."

  "See?" I teased. "You're perfectly capable of being a rational adult. Only a few more weeks and this will all be over."

  "Speaking of over." Jack looked me over in the same way he usually did before he ripped my shirt off. I loved that look. "After filming, we should go down to Mexico, get away for a while. I have a killer condo where we can sunbathe naked and drink margaritas until we can't see straight. What do you say?"

  I laughed and pushed him off. "We'll talk about it after you finish this scene, okay?"

  He kissed me, quick and hot, and jogged back into the warehouse with a wave. I took an extra minute to watch him disappear, fully enjoying the view. I didn't know why he’d taken an interest in me, and I didn't fully understand what was going on between us, but I didn't want it to ever end.

  I mean, naked sunbathing and margaritas in Mexico sounded amazing, but with Jack? Incredible.

  Thank you, Karma, for finally getting your shit together.

  THIRTEEN

  JACK

  "That's a wrap!" Denver pulled off his headphones and started clapping. "Congratulations everyone, we did it!"

  Everyone mobbed the center of the sound stage, clapping and cheering and whooping. I was in the center of it all, jumping around like a fool while Dave from the props department sprayed us with champagne. Someone blared ‘It's Raining Men’ from the speakers and things got...well, a little wild. For about ten minutes.

  Denver indulged us. It had been a long two-and-a-half months of filming, with a lot of bumps in the road and some shenanigans, but we did it.

  "Speech!" Lena screamed out as the whooping died down and the waterworks started. "Speech!"

  Denver waved us off, so I pushed through and dragged him to the middle of the circle. I clapped my hands and led a chant: "Speech! Speech! Speech!"

  "All right, all right. Shut the hell up." Denver laughed and motioned for us all to settle. "It's been a long ten weeks. Long ten weeks. Should’ve been more like eight weeks, but here we are."

  "Slackers!" Someone yelled from the back. There was muffled laughter, because most of the cast was too busy hugging and crying.

  I would miss these guys. Probably not Josh. But everyone else? Sure. I just wasn’t the crying type. I was going to look forward to sleeping in for the next month.

  "You guys really brought this movie to life and surpassed my wildest dreams. I want to thank all of the crew for busting their asses, all of the cast for avoiding most prima donna meltdowns, and for everyone who sacrificed time away from their families to make this production a reality. You guys were so excellent to work with and...I'm going to miss you assholes."

  "Tell us how you really feel, Denver!" I hollered.

  "I feel like I aged ten years making this film, but it'll have been worth it."

  Everyone laughed. There was more crying. Alison wasn't here and I hated it. I wanted to celebrate this moment with her.

  "Some of the crew have graciously put together tonight's wrap party, so no one blow this off, okay? I heard someone is going to set up a dunk tank for Gerald, so you can take out all that aggression on everyone's favorite producer. Maybe we'll even get Jack in there."

  "Get ready to get wet, baby!" Josh called from the sides.

  Fuck that guy. I would be so glad to never see him again. Promo tour could kiss my ass.

  "Now get outta here!" Denver yelled. "Go! I've got post-production editing to start so I can relive your faces every day. Out!"

  We mingled for a bit, knowing the hard goodbyes were coming later. The thing about a cast was that you became like family, and leaving it could be difficult. I
stood in my trailer for a good five minutes, just looking around. Some nights, I slept here, depending on the shooting schedules. I'd spied Denver napping under the hospitality table once. This was where I first slept with Alison. And then again and again and again. This was where I learned my lines.

  This was where I filmed the movie that was going to change my life. Leaving it was going to be bittersweet.

  "Hey Big Sexy." Lena leaned against my doorframe. "Ready to get outta here?"

  "Yeah. You know me, always looking for the next thing." I slung my jacket over my shoulder and grinned, but she could see through it. "We need to hang out more. Not seeing you every day is going to suck."

  "First, I'm taking a month-long vacation and none of you assholes are going to find me. But after that? Sure," she teased. "Hey, I've got a surprise for you. Come with me?"

  I mean, I loved a good surprise…

  “Sure, why not?”

  Lena drove us out to my favorite taco place and sitting at a table was her little sister, who’d always looked up to me like an uncle. Brianna was my first fan and came to every movie premiere I ever had.

  "Uncle Jack!" She jumped up to give me a hug.

  We spent the afternoon laughing about the old days and eating too many tacos. Lena had apparently starved herself most days to stay thin for the filming and was looking forward to gaining of the weight back. After a long lunch, we hit the beach to walk it all off and catch some fresh air before going to get our drink on tonight.

  Brianna ran through the waves, chasing birds and hunting crabs, while we walked through the white sand. I didn't grow up here, but man was I ever glad I ended up here.

  "I guess Alison will be glad to hear babysitting duty is over." Lena flashed a devilish look at me. "Since filming is over and all that."

  "Don't give me that look." I squinted against the sun, which was an easy excuse to not look at Lena. "Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I think I need some advice."

  "What?" She feigned surprise. "Big Jack needs advice from little ol' me?"

  "You know, I like you because of your mouth, but sometimes I want to pop it."

  "Won't be the first and you won't be the last. Talk to me."

  I sighed, not sure where to even begin. Brianna brought me a seashell and danced off again. "I know I seem like a cold asshole, but I've always wanted to find someone... special. I don't have any family, you know? I don't have people like Brianna in my life all the time who remind me that I'm not always a dick."

  "But you are always a dick."

  "That's what everyone thinks." I dropped the seashell in the sand. "But I'm not. And I don't want to be that guy. Not anymore."

  Lena nudged me with her shoulder and handed me the seashell I'd dropped. "I never thought I'd ever see you grow up. I thought you liked being the asshole who fucked everything with tits and half a brain cell."

  "Yeah, well now I require two whole brain cells."

  "I'm sure Alison is very proud."

  "I... like her a lot, Lena. I can't get her out of my brain. Every bit of downtime I had was spent thinking of her, trying to find ways to make her smile. It wasn't like it's hard. Being together feels almost too easy. But I want to do anything, everything, for her."

  "But…"

  "But." I frowned and pocketed the seashell. "I know she had to spin that goddamn story a few weeks ago about my time in the pen. I know she knows about it. I worry that's what is holding her back from me. I worry that she won’t be able to take me seriously, knowing I have a record."

  "It certainly hasn't stopped her from climbing into your bed."

  I shook my head. "We only see each other at work. Yeah, we bang a lot and it's great. I told her there is no one else when I'm with her and I'm pretty sure she showed the same respect. And it's great. But... what if she doesn't take me seriously because of this? What if I'm just the work fuck buddy?"

  "Maybe she got all turned on by that babysitting thing after all."

  "Fuck you."

  "Wait!" Lena widened her steps to catch up with me. "Listen, I don't think you have to worry about a thing. That girl is pathetically into you. Trust me, Sarah gave me an earful every day about their private conversations and I now know way too much about your dick. But here's the thing: why you went to prison doesn't ultimately matter anymore. You aren't that same jackass from however long ago. You've matured. You want to be better. Alison doesn't strike me as the type of girl to get hung up on stupid shit."

  "Maybe. Probably."

  "Definitely. Hey! Don't go that again!" Lena yelled back at Brianna, who was trying to drop a crab down her shirt. "Fucker. Listen Big Sexy. Listen hard. The entire set knows you two have it bad for each other. Trust her. Open up and tell her what happened. Expose yourself just the littlest bit and let her see you are a real human with real feelings."

  My face must have twisted into a hot mess, because she laughed. "I don't... open up."

  "I know. I know." Lena gave me a hug and pointed to Brianna. "See that amazing girl who annoys the shit out of me all the damn time? She thinks you hung the moon, Jack. She thinks you are the greatest thing ever. Brianna is one of those rare pure souls who can see people for who they really are and she sees greatness in you. For once in your life, drop the goddamn act and open yourself up to Alison."

  "And if she doesn't like what she sees?"

  "Then fuck her," Lena said. "But she will. Give her this, and she will trust you. And then you two can happily be on the way to Mexico to be buck-ass naked and fuck while drinking all those margaritas."

  "Oh, you heard about that, eh?" I winked at her. "And about my dick?"

  "I don't want to talk about this anymore. You're gross."

  "Like, did it make you reconsider...?"

  "Fuck yourself, Jack Steele. Tonight, I'm dunking your ass so hard in that tank."

  I scooped her up in a tight hug. "Thank you, Lena. You're one of the few I can count on."

  She pecked me on the cheek. "Ain't no thang, chicken wang. Now go win your woman."

  FOURTEEN

  ALISON

  “I can’t believe this is your first ever wrap party,” Sarah gushed as we wound through the crammed parking lot towards the brightly-lit warehouse. “You’ll see just how amazing they are and come with me forever.”

  “Casting is sort of like the ghost of Hollywood.” I shrugged. “We set the balls in motion but we never stick around to see them in motion. There’s always more balls.”

  “Unless you’re sleeping with Jack Steele, in which case your hands are always full of balls,” Sarah teased. I side-eyed her, but she only laughed. “You left it open. Much like your legs. Hey-oh!”

  I started to bite back, but had to laugh it off. “You’re not wrong.”

  The place was packed inside. One of the open lots in the back of the studio was completely repurposed into a giant mess of people and lights and drinks and music. It almost reminded me of my birthday party but on a much bigger scale, and I found myself grinning like an idiot at absolutely nothing while reminiscing over the magical night Jack set in motion for me. It was really the start of everything, and I’d thanked him many times over for putting it all together. If you know what I’m saying.

  Off in a corner, Josh and Jack were sharing a beer and laughing over something on Josh's phone. I nearly spilled the unknown contents of the red plastic cup shoved in my hand when we walked in because those two hated each other for almost three months, yet here they were. Jack caught my eye and smiled before going back to Josh.

  While we weren't exactly quiet in his trailer, we didn't want to make a big deal about anything going on between us or let rumors circulate. Hell, we weren't even officially an item.

  "We going to go say hi?" Sarah asked, pointing in his general direction with her cup while scrolling through her phone. "At least make sure there isn't any blood?"

  "Nah." I scanned the rest of the crowd. "I'll let them handle that like big boys. Where's this dunk tank? I want
to watch Gerald drown."

  Sarah cackled. "Savage. But he deserves that shit."

  "Agreed."

  My phone buzzed as we wound through the crowd. It was a text from Jack with several suggestive fruits and a message that read, "Hook up later when everyone's wasted?"

  I wrote back, "Great idea. They'll never see us."

  "Found it!" Sarah yelled in my ear.

  A huge line stretched out before us leading up to, as promised, a dunk tank. Gerald sat in the hot seat wearing an oversized pair of sunglasses and a smug smile.

  "Actors can't throw for shit!" He sloshed around a beer. "Bring it on!"

  "Oh, fuck this guy." I shoved my cup into Sarah's hand and jumped in front of Lena. "Excuse me, pretty lady, but I need to have words with this guy."

  Lena laughed. "Oh, girl, I am so glad I can be here to witness this. By all means, knock his ass out."

  Everyone behind me started chanting, "Knock his ass out! Knock his ass out!"

  Gerald offered up his shit-eating grin and stuck his tongue out. "Come on, Babysitter. Think you can take me down?"

  Oh, he was so dead. I took a ball from Lena, focused on the bullseye attached, and hurled a solid ball towards it.

  Missed.

  "Ha!" Gerald slurred. I guess he'd been hitting the bottle hard since we wrapped. "I knew you couldn't throw for shit. Can barely cast movies, too!" Everyone behind me said a collective ‘ooh!’ and Gerald cackled. "Come on, Babysitter! Let's see if you can get at least one hit in your career?"

  Lena gasped and laughed all at once. "Oh, he's vicious."

  "Don't actually hit him." Sarah leaned over to me. "Since, you know, that's like a felony or something. Dammit, I really need to get hired on to one of those damn lawyer shows."

  "It's fun," Lena chimed in.

  While they were chatting and Gerald was cackling, I focused. I leaned back, threw the ball, and smacked it dead center. Gerald went careening into the tank below. Everyone cheered and high-fived me and Lena handed me a shot of something green and delicious.