That Baby

by Jillian Dodd

"Hey," Phillip says. "My car won't start. You might have to come pick me up."

  "That's fine. I'm at home."

  "What are you doing?"

  "Your mom and I are folding baby clothes."

  "Cool. Hang on, I'm going to pop the hood and check the battery connection." I hear the car door shut and then him opening the hood. "What the hell. You're never going to believe this." He laughs loudly.

  "Believe what?"

  He chuckles again. "I'll have to send you a picture."

  "Uh, okay. So, do you need me to come get you or not?"

  "Not," he says. "I'll be home soon."

  A few seconds later, a photo pops on the screen.

  Lying on top of the engine is the gnome wrapped in a battery cable.

  Me: OMG! That's HILARIOUS!!!

  A short while later, Angel comes tearing into the nursery and drops the gnome in my lap. I notice she's chewed off the top of its hat. She runs over and gives Mrs. Mac a sloppy kiss and then she steals a baby headband and takes off running down the stairs.

  Phillip comes upstairs a few minutes later to return the headband and see all the baby clothes we've amassed.

  "You do realize, Mom," he says, "that the baby could be a boy."

  "I know," she laughs. "Little girl clothes are just so precious. Have you thought about names yet?"

  "Yes," Phillip says. "If it's a girl, we're going to call her Haley James Mackenzie."

  "Oh, I love that. It's just precious!"

  "I'm glad you like it," I say.

  "It was my choice," Phillip says proudly.

  "And what about a boy?" she asks.

  "We can't seem to agree on a boy's name," Phillip tells her.

  "What are your options?"

  "Well, I like the name Otto and Jadyn likes the name Chase. We had a whole bunch of other names but have rejected them all for various reasons."

  "Otto is different," his mom says. "Otto what?"

  "Man," I joke.

  "Otto Man?" she repeats.

  "Yeah, like an ottoman. Although we may go old school and name him Ottoman Empire Mackenzie." I laugh. "We're going to have to come up with a compromise name."

  "You guys up there?" We hear Danny's voice wafting up the stairs.

  "Yeah, we're in the nursery," I yell back.

  Angel sprints out of the room and I hear Danny talking to her. "Oh, look at you. You're getting so tall, and you've got such big feet."

  "We're heading out to the deck," Phillip yells down to Danny. "Grab some beers."

  Mrs. Mac looks at the time and rushes out of the nursery. "Oh, I need to go freshen up. Your father and I are going out to dinner with some clients tonight."

  Phillip gives me a kiss and says, "Well, the baby will have plenty of clothes."

  "Yeah, your mom is having fun. I wish that was all she was buying."

  "Uh oh. What else did she get?"

  I lead him down the stairs and point toward the picture on the dining room wall.

  "It's not awful," he says.

  "Phillip, I chose every single detail of this room. We agreed to get a piece of artwork this fall. Remember?"

  "I do."

  "And we wanted that artwork to be special, remember?"

  "I remember, Princess."

  "So can you please ask her to take it back? Along with the chicken coop?"

  Phillip sighs and rubs his temple. "I'll talk to her."

  "Yay! Thank you!" I reward him with a kiss.

  Angel is scratching at the deck door, because Danny is out there, beer in hand.

  "What's up?" Phillip asks him as we sit down at the patio table.

  "It's a gorgeous day and it's beer o'clock. Since I can't talk my wife into having a beer, I thought I'd come over here."

  "Angel, go get 'em," Phillip says to her, pointing at the geese meandering just outside our iron fence.

  Angel tears down the stairs and runs through the grass barking.

  "Those geese drive her nuts."

  "She's a hunting dog, they should," Phillip says. "She loves the backyard."

  Angel barks again for good measure when the geese fly off. Then she trots across the fence line with her tail high in the air.

  "Look at her strutting around. She looks like Danny on the football field," I tease.

  She sees a squirrel and chases it.

  Danny rolls his eyes at me and takes a pull of his beer. "The squirrels seem to enjoy teasing her."

  "As long as she doesn't catch one. She brought me a dead frog the other day. Came in all bouncy and dropped it on the basement tile. I screamed."

  The boys chuckle then Phillip says, "So, Danny, you're heading to LA tomorrow?"

  "Yeah, meeting with my agent."

  "About another endorsement deal?" Phillip asks.

  "Yeah. Don't laugh."

  "What? Do they want you to model underwear or something?" I wonder.

  Danny nods. "Compression shorts. I'll be shirtless."

  "That will be hot. Women would all buy them."

  "The shoe deal made sense. I don't know about this one."

  "Why not? Will Lori be mad?"

  "I haven't even told her about it. Probably won't until it's a done deal. I just mean that I thought endorsements would highlight my athletic abilities not exploit my body."

  "Says the man who enjoys strip clubs," I cough.

  Danny laughs. "True."

  "You know, Danny," I say, "Tom Brady is a good quarterback, but why do you think so many women cheer for him?"

  "Because he looks good in his underwear?"

  I nod. "Exactly. He's hot."

  "He's also married to a super model."

  "They do make a really pretty couple. My point is, he does ads for more than just sports-related merchandise. He's done underwear, cologne, shoes, watches, clothing labels, and cereal. I read that he makes like seven million a year just off that. And you're younger and better looking than he is. I know you earn plenty, but why wouldn't you want to make more? You could put it into your charity, set up a trust fund for your kids, or use it as fun money."

  "You sound like my agent," Danny says with a grin. "What about you, Phillip? Would you pose in your underwear?"

  Phillip looks at Danny like he's nuts. "Uh, in a heartbeat. Are you kidding? All those women drooling over me. I'd love it."

  He gives me a little smirk.

  Danny says, "Maybe you can be in it with me. Hell, your abs are thicker than mine."

  "That's only because you still need to be fast on your feet. Gotta be able to get away from those defenders."

  "Yeah," Danny says, nodding. "Hard to believe it's going to be my second season. Training camp starts soon."

  "When does it start?"

  "August fourth."

  "Back to living in a dorm?"

  "Yep, it's like freshman year in college. Some of the older guys get their own room, but most of us have a roommate. Honestly, last year I was so freaking tired I could barely stay awake to call Lori. I'm really going to miss Devaney."

  I notice he doesn't mention missing his wife, but I don't say anything.

  Angel comes up the stairs and drops a tennis ball at Phillip's feet.

  "I'm gonna grab her a bully stick," he says, running in the house and then giving her one. Angel wags her tail furiously then plops down on the deck, chewing contently.

  A few minutes later, she's asleep.

  "I don't know what's in those things," I say, "but they're like doggy crack. Only they lull her to sleep."

  "You do know what those are made out of, right?" Danny asks.

  "Mean kids?" I tease.

  Danny laughs.

  "I'm kidding. I assume they are a beef product. From a bull. Like jerky."

  "No, they're--" Danny stops in the middle of his sentence when Phillip bugs his eyes out and makes a shushing sound.

  "Wait. Why don't you want me to know, Phillip?"

  "Because they're made out of a bull's penis," Danny says, cracking up.


  "Oh, gross! She shouldn't be eating that!"

  "No, she should be sucking on that!" Danny quips.

  I shut my eyes tightly. "Don't make sexual jokes about my baby puppy."

  "Couldn't resist," Danny laughs.

  "A bull's penis, really?"

  Danny and Phillip both nod.

  I look down at Angel, still happily nibbling it in her sleep, and decide I'll continue to pretend it's just beef jerky.

  July 27th

  On my list.

  "Jay, I need to talk to you. Can I come to your office?"

  "I've got a lot going on today, Danny. Can we talk tonight?"

  "Please? I really need someone to talk to."

  "Is everything okay?"

  "Not really."

  "Do you want me to reshuffle and meet you for lunch?"

  "I'd like to come to your office, where no one will overhear what I say."

  "Okay, come to my office then. I'll order in some lunch."

  A short time later, he shows up at my office looking like a wreck.

  "You know how I was in LA for a meeting?"

  "Yeah, how'd it go? Did you decide to do the underwear ads?"

  "Yeah, I did. But this is about something else. You can't tell anyone."

  "Okay."

  "Not even Phillip. He won't understand."

  "Um--"

  "Promise me."

  "All right. I promise."

  "When I was in LA, I met someone."

  "I'm sure you met a ton of people."

  "Yeah, I did, but this particular someone is a girl."

  "Oh," I say slowly, the implications of what he's trying to tell me sinking in.

  "Please talk to me. I have to talk to someone. Tell me what you consider to be cheating."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Like, I wouldn't consider flirting with someone as cheating, would you?"

  "Um, no. I guess not."

  "What about kissing? Making out?"

  "Well, I certainly wouldn't want Phillip kissing anyone else. But I suppose on the cheating scale, it's towards the bottom."

  "What happened with Bradley that night you were at the bar? Nick told me the two of you went in the back alone."

  "He leaned into me. Pressed his body against mine. Had his hands on my shoulders, and I thought he was going to kiss me."

  "How did it feel?" he asks.

  "All wrong."

  "What would you have done if it had felt right?"

  "Probably wouldn't have gotten married. Danny, why don't you just tell me what happened instead of asking me twenty questions."

  He lets out a deep sigh and starts talking. "Okay, so you know my agent, Carter Crawford."

  "Yeah."

  "His brother is also an agent, but he represents people in the entertainment industry as oppose to sports. He invited me to a party, so I could meet Aiden Arrington."

  "Aiden Arrington. He's engaged to that hot Hollywood actress, Keatyn Douglas, right?"

  "Yes. And they own a vineyard. One of their wines is called Moon Wish, which is not-for-profit and raises money for charities."

  "I've seen the ads for that wine. Keatyn is in them."

  "That's right, and they are getting ready to start a new ad campaign. Carter thought maybe Aiden and I could work together. I could be one of the athletes in their advertisements, and they could donate to Diamonds in the Rough."

  "So you got to meet Keatyn and Aiden?"

  "I did. The party was at their home in Malibu."

  "Is Keatyn as pretty in real life and she is on the big screen?"

  "She's gorgeous and they seem very much in love. So, that all went great. I think we'll end up working together. You'd like them. They seemed very normal."

  "That's really cool, Danny. And it would be great for your charity."

  "Yeah, I know. So that's all good. Anyway, while we're talking, this girl bounds up to us. She's cute as can be and a little tipsy. Keatyn introduces me to--you're never going to believe this either--Jennifer Edwards and Knox Daniels."

  "Oh my god! Knox is so hot! That Jennifer is one lucky girl. Not only is she our age and been in huge blockbuster movies, she's dating the Knox Daniels, who was voted one of the sexiest men alive!"

  "Sounds like you have a crush."

  "I do. Even Phillip knows that Knox is on my list. Like, if I ever meet him, I can have sex with him and Phillip will understand."

  "Who does Phillip get to have sex with?"

  "No one," I tease. "Actually, I'm pretty sure his list is full of swimsuit models."

  "So, are you telling me that I could have slept with Jennifer and it would have been okay if she were on some sort of celebrity list?"

  "Well, theoretically, yes. Uh, but, I'm not sure, because you're really not ever supposed to meet them. Wait. Is Jennifer the girl who it felt right with?"

  He nods. "Yes. She's all personality. You would love her. She's so freaking funny."

  "You liked her because she was funny?"

  "I mean, of course, she's really pretty, but there are a lot of pretty girls in the world."

  "So it was her humor that made her different?"

  "Yeah, and she was fun with a capital F. She flirted with me. Made me laugh. And then . . ."

  "And then what?"

  "We went for a walk on the beach."

  "She left Knox freaking Daniels to go for a walk with you?"

  "What?" he says, holding up his hands. "You think I can't get the girl?"

  "Were you trying to get her, Danny?"

  He rubs his face. "I don't know. Kind of. Yes. Definitely, yes. I totally turned on the charm. I couldn't help myself."

  "Oh boy. Did you sleep with her?"

  "No."

  "But you wanted to?"

  "Yeah, I did. If I wasn't married, I'd still be in bed with her."

  "It's been three days."

  "I know --um, it's been a while since I've felt that kind of passion. We talked all night on the beach. I told her stuff I haven't even told you. Next thing we knew, the sun was coming up, so we watched the sunrise then got breakfast. Neither one of us wanted the night to end. She drove me to the airport and when she dropped me off, I wanted to kiss her so bad. There were so many times that night I wanted to kiss her. She gave me a couple air kisses that connected then backed away slowly, like she was testing my self-control. All I wanted to do was devour that sexy mouth."

  "Danny!"

  "I know! I know! But I didn't. I kissed her hand, which was almost worse, because my lips touched her skin. She told me she wanted to give me something to remember her by." He rolls up his sleeve, showing me his autographed arm. I also notice there is a heart on top of the 'I' in her name. "I feel like a tween who met her favorite pop star. I don't want to wash it off. And we've been texting."

  "So you're going to be just friends?"

  He shakes his head. "That's the problem. It doesn't feel like we're just friends. Although we didn't sleep together, we were emotionally intimate. I realized that's what missing from my relationship with Lori. We have--well, had--a good physical relationship, but she doesn't seem to get me. She thinks I'm immature. Really, she thinks we both are. She seems to think being an adult means you can't have any fun--like when she yelled at us for the rubber-band war. Would Phillip have yelled at you for that?"

  "No. He would've gone and got a box of them, MacGyvered together some rubber band machine gun, and whooped us."

  "Exactly. He's smarter than us. He's very organized and responsible, but he still likes to have a good time. And the novelty of learning about football has worn off for Lori. She didn't even attempt to watch the Super Bowl. She talked the whole way through it. She's pissed I'm leaving for camp. If it weren't for the money football brings in and the bit of status that goes along with it, she would tell me it isn't a grownup job."

  "I noticed she's wearing the necklace."

  "Did you also notice she touches it a lot? Especially when she's mad at me. It's like she's rubbing the
necklace to remind herself of what she'd be giving up if she left me. When we got engaged, you said she grounds me. Maybe she did in college, but she doesn't any more. I'm not sure she still even likes me. All I know is I want to kiss my father on the lips for making her sign a pre-nup. And if it weren't for Devaney, I'd divorce her tomorrow." His head is down and I can tell this is tearing him apart. I put my hand on his leg and give it a little squeeze. "But I don't want to be that guy. I want to be with my daughter every day. Sometimes when Lori's asleep, I sneak out of bed and just go sit by Devaney's crib. She's so beautiful and innocent."

  "So what are you going to do?"

  He shakes his head. "That's why I'm here, Jay. I've been thinking about it for three long days and I don't know what to do."

  "Danny, I can't tell you what to do. It's obvious that you're not happy in your marriage right now, but I don't think you should be texting Jennifer. Are you still in love with Lori? Do you think things are salvageable?"

  "I don't know."

  "Well, we know you used to love her."

  "Yeah."

  "What did you love about her?"

  "Honestly, she was a challenge. The fact that she didn't know who I was. The fact that she didn't know anything about football. She was sort of a novelty. The novelty has definitely worn off." He studies me. "Tell me the truth. Are you and Phillip going through any of this? Are you happy?"

  I nervously rub my eyebrow.

  "What?" he says. "You can tell me. Please tell me the truth."

  "Honestly, I'm happier than I've ever been."

  "Why didn't you want to tell me that?"

  "Because I feel bad about it."

  "You shouldn't. Has your pregnancy been that easy or do you just suck it up?"

  "I don't think any pregnancy is easy, Danny. I was kinda sick the first trimester. I wear out easily. Food is at the top of the priority chain right now, possibly above sex." I chuckle. "Okay, maybe not. But close. I have weird aches and pains. My feet get sore. I try not to complain, but Phillip also babies me."

  "What do you do for Phillip?"

  "I keep his beer fridge stocked," I tease. "I try to give him massages before he goes to sleep. When he's had a stressful day, he lays his head on my shoulder and I run my fingers through his hair. And this sounds stupid, but he loves when I rub his temples. He says it takes the stress out of his eyes. We go jogging together. I don't know if that's for him or not, we usually don't even talk when we run. But when we get home, we conserve water by showering together."

  "So even as far along as you are, sexy times are still happening?"

  "Pregnancy hasn't really changed our sex life much. We've had to be a little more creative from a timing standpoint. Like when I was first pregnant morning sex was out because that's when I felt sick. Can I be honest?"