by D. A. Roach
Copyright © 2013
D.A. Roach
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, without express permission of the author, except a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes.
I dedicate the book to my dear friends who have inspired me to create many of my characters.
Special thanks to my editors for putting up with my mistakes.
Cover art courtesy of fotolia.com
Edited by: B. Galles and M. Galles
If you, or someone you know is injuring yourself or cutting, please recognize this as a cry for help. Please consider talking to a professional to uncover what is behind the self-harm. Counseling with or without medication can be beneficial and help heal those emotional wounds and teach you to cope with stressful situations. You are not alone.
www.lifesigns.org.uk a great website on Self Injury Guidance
Below is some information from LifeSIGNS website.:
Short Definition of self-injury
Self-injury is a coping mechanism. An individual harms their physical self to deal with emotional pain, or to break feelings of numbness by arousing sensation
Long Definition of self-injury
Self-injury is any deliberate, non suicidal behaviour that inflicts physical harm on your body and is aimed at relieving emotional distress. Physical pain is often easier to deal with than emotional pain, because it causes 'real' feelings. Injuries can prove to an individual that their emotional pain is real and valid. Self-injurious behaviour may calm or awaken a person. Yet self-injury only provides temporary relief, it does not deal with the underlying issues. Self-injury can become a natural response to the stresses of day to day life and can escalate in frequency and severity.
Inconsequential
Book 2 of the J+P series
By
D.A. Roach
Chapter 1
The summer was not over yet and here I was heading back to school. The campus looked the same, no new buildings or statues erected as far as I could tell. The dorm had not changed over the summer either, same brick building shaped like the letter H. I claimed my side of the room since Molly, my new roommate, had not shown up yet. She was more studious than my previous roommates and would hopefully be a good match for me. Last year she lived several rooms down from me and we were nothing more than a “hi - bye” acquaintance. I hadn't seen any of my friends from freshman year on my floor yet. I also wondered if any of the boys were back yet. There was an exciting feeling in the air being back on campus. Or maybe it was the feeling of being able to breathe easier, untether my wings, and feel the peace of freedom.
Life on campus was so different from my life at home. I had survived the summer with very little incidence, but I wonder if it was because I knew I just had to last 3 months before I was back to the safe haven known as school. I worked as many hours as I could, took as much overtime that was offered to make money and to stay out of the house. I had $3500 saved from all my hard work. I was not allowed to have a job during the school year so I hoped it would be enough to live off of for nine months. I lay back on my bed and took a nice slow breath and enjoyed the quiet around me.
Our room had a large birch tree outside the window and the gentle breeze blew the leaves so they rustled like a cheerleader’s pompoms. The shadows from the branches and foliage swayed across my bed. I laid there remembering how a year ago I was here, away from home for the first time, and so unsure of myself. Now I felt like a seasoned veteran and I looked forward to the year ahead. My primary focus was to be an amazing student so I would not get pulled out of school by my parents. My only other goal was to make lots of fun memories with my friends. I laced up my Chuck Taylor’s and grabbed my keys. I headed down to the lower level common area to see if there was any activity buzzing about down there. Maybe I would run into a familiar face.
The lower level housed a small cafe, a TV lounge, a computer lounge, laundry rooms, a radio station, and all the mailboxes for the students. I checked for mail and found a few back to school sheets in there. The radio station was locked up but from peeking through the window, I saw the old ratty couch and the graffiti on the walls. No change. There were a lot of new faces walking around exploring the dorms with their families. I walked past the laundry rooms toward the guys’ wing, getting closer to where the guys in our gang resided. I overheard loud boisterous voices coming from the hall arranging a game of football on the lawn between dorms. Our friends were not footballers so I knew it was not them. Girls were not allowed on the boy’s wing without a male escort, but since it was the first day and hardly anyone was here...surely I could risk it. I peeked around the corner where the boys’ rooms were, all the doors were closed and I saw the group of shirtless guys heading out the door with a football under one of their arms. I turned around quickly to head back to my room and slammed straight into Greg and a new boy.
“Stalking someone Perry?” Greg teased as he steadied me.
“Oh sorry,” I could feel the color heating up my cheeks, “I'm glad it was you I body-slammed and not some stranger.”
“Good to see you too kiddo.” Greg smiled. “Oh, hey. This is Dave; he is a buddy from back home. He is living in the room next to ours so you will see a lot of him.”
I extended my hand and David shook it. He was not my type, but attractive none the less. He was shorter than Greg and more muscular (but not in the beefy way). He had blonde curly hair and blue eyes. He smiled but did not say anything.
“So what’s the room set-up this year?” Greg asked.
“Jen and Tara” I paused to stick my finger down my throat to demonstrate how much Tara and her evilness made me want to toss my cookies.
“Still bitter huh Perry?” Greg nudged me sympathetically. “You know she and Jared ended before they really got started.”
“Yeah, but she broke girl code and hell has to freeze over before that’s forgiven in my book.”
“So what about Mags? Didn’t Lauren move into the sorority this year?”
“Yep, she has a new roommate from home. A freshman and we are all at the end of the hall on the second floor. Didn’t Ian move into the frat?”
“Yeah, I think Tim has a new roommate but I don’t know the details.”
“Anyone else back yet?” I asked.
“Not yet, Dave and I were gonna pick up some pop from the store.” Greg had a car, he was the only one from our group with one and we were grateful for any trips he invited us along with him. “Wanna come with?”
I could not think of anything better to do at that moment. Plus I seriously had missed Greg over the summer. “Absolutely.”
We walked to his car, which was actually a pretty cool car for a 19 year old kid from a middle class family. It was a bit sporty and retro with a great stereo system. Dave let me ride shotgun and he poked his head between the driver and passenger seats to join our conversation. We chatted about the summer and the sucky jobs we had to work.
I asked Dave who he was rooming with and he said it was another friend from home named Jim. “Boy, you all gravitate toward each other. So did all four of you hang out back home?”
“Sort of, Jared wasn't in the mix all the time, but the rest of us were pretty solid.” Dave said.
I liked Jared and Greg an awful lot, and Dave seemed nice enough. I wondered what Jim was like and I wondered how the two new additions would affect the group dynamic.
“Who are you rooming with Perry? Anyone I know?” Greg asked.
“Nah, a girl named Molly. She lived a few doors down from me last year. S
he is in life sciences too. Kinda quiet and shy but nice. I don't know how she will fit into the mix of us all.”
“Oh man, another new one. Weird, you know you can always hang out in my room if she sucks.” Greg offered.
“Thanks, hopefully it won’t be like my ‘restraining order’ roomie,” I joked.
“Yeah, or be a party animal like your first one.”
I looked out the window and felt the warm sun on my skin with the cool breeze blowing through my hair. The summer had been hard. I worked a lot and did whatever my parents bid me to do. But I made it and now I was back on campus with my friends and my freedom. I felt alive here. As I opened my eyes to come out of my thoughts and saw Dave looking at me from the side-view mirror. His eyes met mine for a moment and he quickly looked away, like he'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. I looked at him for a moment longer and then decided to engage Greg to push away any awkwardness. Something in my gut told me this year would be full of complications and excitement, I could hardly wait.
Chapter 2
It’s interesting how sophomore year of college could feel so much like freshman year. Same dorm, many of the same friends from freshman year, and trying to navigate the new classes and get back into the groove of school again. The fall was mild and filled with so much studying that I feared my brain was going to leak from being overloaded. I was giving it my all to stay at this college. I knew the threat my parents warned me about. If my grades were not within the top 10% of the life science sophomore majors, I would be yanked out of school. Not an option in my eyes. This college was my new home and new family. I had come to trust, love, and support my friends here and they returned it to me. Here I felt free, alive, and safe. I wanted to stay here with my new family and prepare for life as an independent adult. I needed to put my blinders on and stay focused on doing my best.
Molly, my new roommate, ended up being an awkward but nice addition to the group. She was introverted and a book worm, but willing to be exposed to new experiences. And because she was a life science major, like me, I had a live-in tutor. David and Jim were added into our group mix. They apparently went to grade school with Greg and Jared and were now living next to them, and across the hall from Tim and his new roomie. David was a curious guy, he seemed quiet, observant, and loyal to those important to him. Jim was smart and cute, but so shy that he seemed to disappear when any girls were around.
Jen and Edward were still a hot item, hotter than ever in fact. Even though boys were not allowed on the girl’s side of the dorm past curfew, he managed to sleep in her room EVERY NIGHT. He claimed to have “nightmares” that only went away when he slept with Jen. It’s hard to even think about that without my eyes rolling. She had him wrapped tightly around her finger. Mags and Tim were still an item. They seemed closer than ever, a perfect match. And Jared and Tara....well, they didn’t last past the end of the last school year. I couldn’t say I felt sad about it. My heart always beat faster when Jared was around. There seemed to be a connection between us but Tara swooped in with her flirtatious ways and won him over at the end of last year. I was pissed at her for moving in on my territory and I was disappointed that he chose someone like her over me. Jared was still a part of our little family, but I was done trying to win him over. This year my focus was on school. And to be sure I didn’t get distracted, I focused on having fun with Greg and my other friends and decided to pay little attention to Jared.
Chapter 3
“Unbelievable! I cannot believe we lost in the last quarter.” Greg muttered while shaking his head in disbelief.
“I know, the quarterback should have just wrapped up the ball with a bow and handed it to the other team.” David scoffed.
I was rubbing my hands together so quickly to try and get any warmth to flow through them. “Can we pick up the pace please? I am afraid if we are out here much longer that I will be a Popsicle.”
“Perry the Popsicle, that’s a tempting thought!” Teased David. I smacked his arm for that remark and snickered.
“Ow, sorry, sorry - couldn’t help it,” he laughed. I raced ahead and I could hear them pick up the pace behind me. I was glad we lived so close to the stadium. It was exciting to see the crowds gather before the home games AND it made for shorter walks home.
Once inside the dorm I turned to the boys and asked, “Pizza? I’ll call it in?” I was hoping they would agree. I really felt like some yummy pizza on this cold Sunday.
“I’m in, you know what I like on mine, doll. Meet you in Greg and Jared’s room in 30 minutes,” said David.
“In, and thanks for asking to use my room as a dining hall knucklehead!” Greg said as he swatted David’s head. David countered with a small jab in Greg’s ribs and both were chuckling about their mini-fight. They played around like brothers, you could tell this was an old friendship.
“Hey David, why weren’t you here last year?” It had just dawned on me that he and Greg were the same age but I never saw David last year.
“I was Perry, I was just across campus living in a studio apartment with Jim. Greg convinced us to live in the dorms this year.” He replied.
“Huh, I never saw you. Oh well, now I see more of you than I care to.” I teased. “See you in 30 boys,” and I turned and headed to my room.
On my way to the room I knocked on Jen’s door and Mags’ door to invite them for pizza. Mags was not in her room but Edward opened Jen’s door.
“We are getting a pizza and ...” and I stopped mid-sentence because Mags was here eating pizza and hanging out with Edward and Jen. “Never mind” I smiled. “Looks like great minds think alike.”
“Yeah, sorry, we ordered and you weren’t around. Would you like some?” Jen asked.
“Thanks, but no. I am ordering one with the guys. Enjoy!” And I walked to my room.
Inside, Molly was studying hard. “You look like you need a study break and some nourishment. Pizza with the boys in 30?” I asked.
“Sure. How was the game? You look cold.” She inquired.
“Freezing and it was great till the last play. We lost. Now I need to thaw, order the pizza, and eat! How’s studying?”
“Boring,” she giggled. I knew what she meant. There was so much memorization with life sciences that you felt like you didn’t want to learn anymore at times. “You gonna study tonight?”
“Yep, after the pizza.” I then changed out of my North Pole getup into some comfy flannel bottoms and a long sleeve t-shirt. I ordered 2 pizzas and a 2 liter. Then I grabbed my towel and headed to the bathroom down the hall to wash my face.
“Who all is eating with us?” Molly asked when I returned to the room.
“David, Jim, Greg, you and me, and maybe Jared.”
Molly put her books down, brushed her hair and followed me to the boys’ side for our Sunday pizza dinner. “Are you done studying for the night then?” I asked.
“Nah, I’m not sure I could ever be done and feel prepared enough for an Organic Chemistry test.”
“Agreed.”
When we got by the laundry rooms on the lowest level I saw Greg leaning against the door to the guys wing waiting on us. Greg was tall and lean with a slight muscular build. He had wavy brown hair that was cut shorter on the sides and back and messy on the top. He was attractive, but like Jared, he was not the pin-up every girl died for. What made guys like Greg and Jared attractive was the combination of their looks, their intelligence, their charisma, and their confidence.
“Pizza here yet Perry?” He asked.
“Not that I know of, they are supposed to call your room when they get here.”
“Cool. Molly, what’s up? Missed you at the game. We were trying to see if we could turn Perry into a Popsicle with the frigid temps - you could have been a part of the fun experiment.” Greg joked.
“Ouch!” He squealed as I pinched his side. “Sorry babe, just teasin’.’”
We cleared a spot on the floor so we could all sit around the pizza. Jared ended up
joining us but it felt awkward, almost like he was intruding on our group. He must have sensed it too because after he ate he excused himself to work on homework while the rest of us sat around and joked. He was not my concern anymore. Last year I would have been worried about him or chasing after him. But he was a waste of my time. He clearly did not have an interest in me other than as a friend, so a friend I would be. Not a best friend, just a friend. I couldn’t help but look over at him and shake my head. I wasted so much time and emotion on pursuing him, and it led to nowhere.
After we helped clean up, Molly and I said our goodbyes and excused ourselves back to our room.
“You should take David with you. He could use some study time.” Greg said.
“What do you mean? Didn’t you say he was super smart back home?”
“David, are these guys too distracting?” I looked at him and he just gave a shrug.
