Extinction

by Viljoen, Daleen

  Chai stood in the middle of the floor. His shirt lay in a crumpled heap on the floor at his feet and his black trousers rode low on his hips. Emily was molded to his body, her arms wrapped around his neck. They kissed and his hands moved slowly down her back. Only a few hours ago he told me he cared about me. He kissed me. Once again he lied to me. The glass of milk slipped from my fingers and shattered at my feet in the same instance as I felt my heart shattering into a million pieces.

  Lexie! I could hear him shouting in my head, but I shut him out as I ran away – away from him and away of the waves of hurt that rocked through my body, trying to block their images from my mind.

  I couldn’t stay in my room. I couldn’t be anywhere near them. The pain was too much. I was suffocating. I grabbed the letter from my mother and headed to the ‘hall of remembrance’ as everyone called it. No one stopped me as I left the ship and headed down the tunnel. I sat down on the cold stone floor below the photo of my mother and twirled the envelope in my fingers. I should read it and now was as good a time as any. I needed her so much and this was as close as I was going to get to hear her voice again.

  I carefully tore open the envelope. I took the thin sheets of paper in my hand, pressing them against my noise and inhaled her perfume that clung to it – a mixture of vanilla and lilac. If I closed my eyes I could imagine her standing next to me. I missed her so much. I glanced at her picture.

  “I need you, Mom.” My voice bounced off the walls of the empty room. She wasn’t going to answer me, she was gone forever.

  I unfolded the paper and studied the familiar handwriting.

  My dearest Lexie

  It hurts me to know that if you’re reading this, I’m no longer with you. There is so much I still have to tell you and now I will never get the chance.

  But know this

  I love you.

  You are my sweetest baby girl and I will always be with you. I never should have left you with him. I thought you would be safe, but I should have protected you against the evil growing inside of him. We should have left him years ago. Together. I thought I could save him, that he would change, but I was wrong.

  No matter what, you must never lose hope. You remember when you were eight - we went on this big adventure. A vacation at the beach. Just you and me. There was this old woman telling fortunes for money. She came to me and told me you were very special. She said that the love you carried inside of you would one day save the world. And I firmly believe it. You have this amazing gift to love everyone around you. Never lose it.

  I’ve made many mistakes, but you were never one of them. If you are reading this letter, you’ve found your way to Bill. He is a good man and I love him dearly. I hope he can one day forgive me for all the pain I have caused him.

  I’ve kept a secret from both of you. There’s no easy way to say this to you in a letter and I should have told you both the truth years ago.

  Bill is your father.

  My heart stopped beating and I inhaled sharply. I reread the sentence again. Bill was my father? How was it possible? It must be a mistake.

  I hope you open your heart to him. My biggest wish is that you find your way to each other. I can see him in you every time I look at you. Please forgive me for keeping this from you.

  Be strong and brave

  I love you.

  Mom

  I read the letter over and over, until my eyes burned. Robert Miller was not my father. I had so many unanswered questions whirling inside my head. How could my mother keep a secret this big from all of us? My whole life was a lie. Nothing was as I believed it to be. I didn’t know who I was anymore.

  It was early morning as I headed for Bill’s office. I stood wavering in front of his door, not sure if I should knock or not. It was too early for him to be here yet and I didn’t know where else to go. I had to talk to someone. I desperately needed answers.

  “Lexie?” Bill stood behind me, surprised to see me here so early in the morning. He took in my sleep deprived face and ushered me into his office and closed the door behind us. I flopped down in one of the white metal chairs and pulled my knees to my chin. This man was my father. What was I supposed to say to him? Hi, Dad, guess what? You are my father. It seemed so unreal. He took a seat in the chair next to me and I knew I didn’t have to say anything. His face told me he already knew.

  “You read the letter,” he said and rubbed his face warily. This wasn’t easy for him too.

  “Yes,” I replied quietly and hugged my knees closer to my chest.

  “I know you must be confused.” He moved his chair closer to mine, scraping it across the floor. “I felt the same way as you at first.”

  “How long have you known each other?”

  “Since we were still in diapers.” Bill smiled at the memory. “We and your father…Robert grew up together. We were the best of friends.”

  He was friends with my father? I still thought of Robert as my father, though technically he wasn’t related to me in any way anymore. “I don’t understand. You knew my father? But…How did you and my mother happen?”

  “We were always together, but when we reached high school, you’re mother only had eyes for Robert. She was in love with him.” Bill looked sad; it caused him pain to admit it.

  “You were in love with her?”

  “Yes, but she never noticed the way I felt about her and I never told her. They got married and I enlisted in the army.” He rubbed his chin. “A year after they were married I visited them. Your mother was very unhappy. Robert entered into politics and he became obsessed with it. He had this obsession with getting to the top, no matter who he hurt along the way. Things…” He hesitated. “Things happened and we had an affair. When my leave was over I begged her to come with me, but she still believed there was hope for him, that he could change. I was hurt and we had a huge fight. I left.”

  “She didn’t tell you she was pregnant with me?” I asked. My head was reeling with the fact that my mother had an affair. There was this whole side to her that I didn’t know existed.

  “No. I would’ve made her leave Robert if I knew.”

  “When did you find out you were my father?”

  “A year ago I went through her stuff and found the letters. She left me one too.” He looked intently at me. “I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to get you out of Palasium, but I couldn’t exactly storm in there and tell you I’m your father.” He sighed deeply. “I should have. If I knew how he treated you all these years…”

  “Do you think he knew?” I asked. That would explain why he hated me so much and could barely stand to look at me all these years.

  “I don’t know. I don’t think she ever told him,” Bill said thoughtfully. “I did the best I could think of and got Erich to infiltrate the Guard to keep an eye on you.”

  “Erich watched me?” I was surprised. I never noticed him before in Palasium.

  “Yes, he kept a low profile, but kept an eye on you.” Bill smiled proudly. “He’s a good boy. You two are a lot alike.”

  “Erich’s my brother?”

  “After I left your mother, I married a young girl I met. She died after Erich was born.”

  “I’m sorry.” The words sounded so empty and meaningless to say to someone else’s loss. “Does Erich know?”

  “Yes. He likes having a sister,” Bill answered. It was a lot to take in. I felt like a hurricane had swept through my life, leaving everything upside down in its wake. I had a father. I had a brother. I had a family.

  “I know this is upsetting for you.” He leant forward. “I cannot expect you to think of me as your father, but I would like to get the chance to know you better.”

  I was silent for a while, trying to sort through the mess that was my life. “I would like that too,” I said at long last and stood. “Can we keep this between us for now? I’m not ready for anyone else to know yet. I need time to think, if you don’t mind.” ”

  Bill nodded. “Of course. You can have all the
time you need.” He hugged me and for a moment I clung to him, tears rolling down my cheeks. It was so strange to think I had a family and I found them in an alien spaceship.

  Outside his office I bumped into Chai and he frowned when he saw my tear streaked face.

  “Lexie…” he said, but I walked away without giving him a chance to finish his sentence. I didn’t have the energy left in me to deal with him at that moment.

  I didn’t go to training, preferring to stay in my room. I needed the time alone to think and to catch up on some much needed sleep. I was hiding from the world. Sometime during the afternoon there was a knock on the door. I wasn’t in the mood for company, but I opened the door with a sigh which quickly spread into a smile as Erich stood in the door.

  I watched him as he came in and stretched out on the bed, as if it was the first time I saw him. This boy with the messy curls was my brother.

  “Did Bill tell you?” I asked cautiously not knowing what Erich thought of the whole situation.

  “Yeah. High time you knew what was going on.” He placed his hands behind his head. I sat down on the corner of the bed.

  “How’re you dealing with it all?” He watched me closely, taking in my tired face.

  “It’s a bombshell to hear my mom had an affair.” I flopped on my back next to him. “The weirdest part is that I am relieved. For so long I’ve been scared of becoming my father and now to know he isn’t…it’s like this burden has been lifted.”

  “You know I met your mother when she was here.” I glanced at Erich in surprise. He must have been eleven years old when she was at the rebel base. “She was very nice to me and she told me about you. I didn’t know who you were, but she made you sound very cool.”

  I laughed. It was only Mom that could make me sound cool. “I miss her.”

  “At least you had some time with her.” He said thoughtfully and I knew he was thinking of his own mother and that he never had the chance to spend time with her. He never got to know her.

  “I’m sorry…about your mother.” I took his hand.

  “Bill’s really nice as far as dads go,” Erich said and squeezed my hand. “You should give him a chance.”

  “I want to. It must be a shock suddenly having a teenage daughter.” I rolled on my side to see his face better. “Bill said you were watching over me in Palasium.”

  “I stayed in the background. I have remarkable ninja skills.” He rubbed his face with a fist and the gesture reminded me of Bill. “There were a couple of times I wanted to kill that bastard.”

  “Now I understand why Robert hated me so much.” He was best friends with Bill at one time and looking at me he would’ve recognized the resemblance to Bill. I had the same pale blue eyes as Bill and Erich. “How do you feel about having a sister?”

  “I like having a baby sister to boss around,” he said and laughed at me.

  “Technically I’m older than you. That makes you my baby brother.”

  “In age, but you’re much smaller than me!” He shoved me and I giggled. It felt good to be so relaxed with him.

  “I can take you any time!” I shoved him back.

  “Bring it on, baby!” he challenged and I didn’t wait for an invitation. For the next couple of minutes we wrestled and giggled like two small children. It made me realize how much I missed out on growing up and how it felt to have someone to call family.

  A knock interrupted us and I opened the door slightly out of breath. My stomach did a flip as Chai stood in the door looking less than pleased. His gaze went over my flushed face and pj’s and wandered to Erich. He clenched his fists at his side. His face was like a piece of granite.

  “I wanted to talk to you, but I can see you’re busy.” He gave Erich a death-stare, whirled on his heels and stalked off, not giving me a chance to speak.

  “What’s his problem?” Erich asked lazily as he watched me through his eyelashes.

  “I don’t care what he does or think.” I said feeling annoyed. What right did Chai have making assumptions when only last night he was sucking face with Emily? He made his choice.

  “Tell me more about Bill.” I changed the subject, I didn’t want to talk or think about Chai anymore.

  We spent the afternoon together and I listened to stories of his childhood and I envied him for the close relationship he had with Bill. I never had that kind of relationship with Robert. I was close to my mom, but even that was always strained by Robert and his vicious nature. Nothing could erase what I endured as a child, but knowing that I had a family after all these years, soothed some of the pain away. We had dinner with Bill and for the first time in years I had a real family dinner, if you counted the strained dinners with Mom and Robert. This was a lot different. There was a lot of laughing and joking. I loved spending time with them.

  Chapter 12

  Arianna had taken her shoes off and she bounced on my bed as if it was a trampoline. I wondered if I needed to remind her it could break in two if she continued jumping. I took off the dress she brought me this morning and shoved on a pair of jeans. It was my birthday in a weeks’ time and of course Erich told her. The dress was for my birthday party she insisted I have. It’s not every day you turn eighteen. Arianna was super excited. On Epsilon turning eighteen, meant you were coming of age - you were an adult. She and Gaios turned eighteen the year before. Chai was the oldest. He was turning twenty this year, which made him nearly two years older than me. A part of me felt excited. I never had a birthday party before. We hadn’t celebrated my birthday in five years. The two years after the Vandelrizi invaded, Mom still tried to make my day special, but since she was gone, Robert didn’t even acknowledge that I did have a birthday. There was also a part of me that didn’t want a party. Chai would be there with Emily. I didn’t know if I could bear seeing them together. Arianna stopped jumping and flopped down on the bed.

  “Well, do you like it?” she said.

  “It’s beautiful.” I bent down and hugged her. “I love it.” The dress was beautiful, made from exquisite flowing silk in pale blue, the same color as my eyes. It was one of her dresses she altered to fit me.

  She didn’t get the chance to say anything – Gaios hammered on the door, his eyes wide and he was puffing.

  “You’d better come quickly. Chai and Erich are in the gym. They’re going to kill each other,” he said breathlessly. I sprinted after Arianna and Gaios to the gym. My heart thundered in my chest. Erich was only a human boy and Chai could tear him apart. I had seen what he could do when he was angry. With his strength he could kill Erich.

  I rushed inside the gym and froze. Chai and Erich were circling each other. Chai had a split lip and a red mark spread underneath his left eye. Erich didn’t look any better. Blood was streaming from his nose and he angrily wiped it away with his hand. A crowd had formed cheering them one. Everyone else was enjoying the sparring session that got out of hand. I grabbed Gaios by the arm.

  “Get everyone out of here,” I pleaded with him. These two didn’t need a mob making things worse. Gaios ushered the crowd of rebels outside and closed the doors. Everyone complained loudly, but weren’t as stupid to challenge the largest of the aliens. I turned to Chai and Erich and took a deep breath. I determinedly took a stance in the middle of the two. They were acting like testosterone filled schoolboys and I had to stop them before somebody seriously got hurt.

  “That’s enough! Both of you stop it now!” Chai kept glaring at Erich, not taking his eyes of him for a second. I wasn’t sure he even heard me.

  “He started it!” Erich said and wiped a curl from his eyes.

  “I don’t care who started it! Look at both of you – acting like little boys.” I gave Chai an annoyed glance. “What would Bill say if he saw you now?” That got through to Erich and he relaxed his tense body, dropping his hands to his side. He knew Bill would be disappointed if he saw them fighting.

  “Lexie, get out of the way,” Chai growled. He was far from finished and he didn’t care about Bill f
inding out.

  “Erich, please,” I pleaded with him when it looked like he was about to jump Chai again. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.” He looked at me and his face softened. He placed an arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze.

  “Okay,” he agreed and I sighed in relief. At least one of them listened to me.

  “Get your hands off her,” Chai snapped and Erich stiffened. He dropped his arm from my shoulder and stalked toward Chai.

  “What’s your problem?” he snarled at him.

  “You’re my problem. Stop trying to get into her pants,” Chai replied and I choked.

  “That’s it, pretty boy! You and I are going to finish it right now!” growled Erich and I threw my hands up in exasperation. I had heard enough and my temper flared.

  “Nobody is trying to get in my pants!” I shoved Erich out of the way. “Least of all Erich. He’s my brother!”

  “Holy cow! I didn’t see that one coming!” Arianna said and gave a low whistle. Gaios rammed his elbow in her ribs and she yelped. Chai’s jaw went slack and he stared at me as if I had just dropped an atomic bomb.

  “Erich is Bill’s son,” Gaios said. He scrutinized me and Erich and then he grinned. “Why didn’t I see it before?” I shrugged at him.