These Days Series: After Tuesday | Forgotten Yesterday | Deciding Tomorrow

by Renee Ericson

  When I reach the waiting area, Brent, Cody and Jas are sitting and talking together. It makes me smile a little to see Brent fitting in so easily into all the pieces of my life.

  “So?” Brent inquires when he sees me enter the room.

  “He’s okay. He’s gonna be okay.” I feel the relief flood over me through my tears. I look to Jas and Cody. “He says he’s going to rehab.”

  Jas and Cody look at each other.

  “That’s good,” Jas states with his eyes still on Cody.

  “He said he wants to check in to a facility,” I add.

  “Sounds like a good step,” Brent says to me.

  “Yeah. It does. I’m just so relieved.”

  “I think we all are,” Cody adds.

  It looks like my father is going to make it. He wants to get better and change. This time, I think we’re all on board to help make that happen. I hope.

  ***

  About an hour later, a nurse comes out to let us know that my dad is being transferred to a new room upstairs. We gather our things and head up to wait for him on the new floor.

  I see him as they wheel him down the hall towards us. He’s lethargic for the most part, but they tell us that is normal due to his condition. After he’s settled in, we are assured that he’s stable for the night. Before we leave, we make sure to get the visiting hours for the floor.

  When we reach the lobby, it’s nearly five in the morning.

  Jas turns to all of us. “Well, it looks like he’s gonna be fine. It’s late…or early, I guess, so we should all go home and get some rest. Ruby, you can ride with us if you want.”

  “If it’s all right, I’d like to drive her home,” Brent interjects. “I’d like to take her to breakfast first.”

  “Sure,” Jas says. “See you soon, Ruby.”

  He and Cody then leave together through the doors.

  “What about your parents?” I ask with concern. After almost losing my only father, parents seem so much more important.

  “I already told them I would be out all night. They know what’s going on, and they know where I am. They’re probably sleeping now, but I’ll send them a text. All right?”

  We walk to his car and drive back to town. Most restaurants that serve breakfast don’t open for another hour, so I have no idea where we’re going. I don’t ask either because I trust him.

  When we pull into his family’s undeveloped lot, I probably should be surprised, but I’m not. Pulling up close to the lake, he turns off the car, gets out, and opens the trunk. Circling around the car to my side, with a blanket in hand, he opens the door for me.

  We walk together to the tree where the canoe is tied and floating in the frigid morning waters. Like it’s second nature, I get in with him behind me, and we push off across the dark lake. The sky is just turning gray from the start of the early sunrise.

  We don’t get far before I hear Brent’s paddle pull up from the water. There’s no set destination. We simply float.

  After the calm of our surroundings seeps into my soul, I turn around to see Brent smiling contentedly into the sky. Moving his gaze to me, he puts down the paddle and sits on the floor of the canoe.

  “Sit with me?” he asks.

  I put down my paddle and join him, sitting between his legs. With my back to his chest, he eases his body down further, so we’re almost horizontal, looking up to the fading stars. When I feel a blanket come across my chest, I help to push it down to cover us both. I can feel the water lapping gently underneath the canoe, softly swaying it from side to side.

  The peace I feel in his arms is overwhelming. He has wanted to be here for me the whole time, never letting me fall. On the lake, the place where he knows I feel most at home, is nothing compared to the comfort of his embrace. Mother Nature might bring me peace, but Brent’s love makes me whole.

  In the beginning, I kept him and everyone else in the dark, banking only on myself to find the light. Now, I realize that I need the light of others to find my way out of the dark.

  “Thank you for being there,” I say faintly as my eyes begin to close from a lack of sleep. “Here.”

  “Of course.”

  His arms pull me in tight. I love this feeling.

  “Not just today or the past couple of days,” I add.

  “I know.” His lips touch the top of my head. “I knew what you meant.”

  Things might or might not go well with my dad. Only time will tell. This time around though, I was able to make it with help, with trust, with hope, and with people who love me. Before, I was a fool to think that I had to do everything on my own. I know now that there are always people there to help when I need it, and I’ve been lucky enough to find someone I love who loves me back. I am one of those lucky people.

  “Sometimes,” I muse with my eyes closed, “I wonder how I got lucky enough to have you in my life.”

  Brent turns me in his arms, so I’m lying on top of him.

  Face to face, he tells me, “It’s because you let me find you.”

  Epilogue

  Six Months Later

  I’m worried she told him. “You didn’t tell him, did you?” We had a deal.

  “No, of course, not. When could I anyhow? You just told me yesterday,” Lexi barks back.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just kind of nervous.”

  “Don’t be. You should be happy you got in. Whatever happens, it’ll all work out.”

  “I know. I know you’re right.” C’mon, Ruby, it will work out. “Do you know where he chose?”

  “No! You know he wouldn’t tell me. I tried to get it out of him. Seriously, you two are both so stubborn. Stop worrying.”

  “I know. You’re right. Congrats on DePaul by the way. That’s awesome.”

  “It’s more than awesome! I’ll get to see you. We’re going to have so much fun in Chicago.”

  “I know! I can’t wait.” I look at the clock on my bedroom wall. Crap! “Hey, Lexi, I have to go. Brent will be here any minute. Sorry.”

  “Well, call me later and let me know how it goes.”

  “Oh, I will.”

  We end the call, and I hurry out to the kitchen to grab my bag off the counter. My dad is sitting at the kitchen table, reading the paper, while Jas is sitting across from him, playing with his phone. My dad folds up the paper and turns in his seat to face me.

  “So, today’s the big reveal day, right?”

  “Yep, today’s the day.”

  He stands up and walks over to me. Putting his hands on my shoulders, he assures me, “Well, however it goes, I know you two will be fine.”

  “You think so?”

  His recent hope and clarity are somewhat inspiring.

  “Ruby…”

  I like hearing him call me that.

  “Just remember, no matter what, it’s not the end of the world.”

  “I know,” I agree, not wholeheartedly though. “It’s the anticipation. It’s killing me.”

  “Well, it won’t last forever,” Jas adds with a bit of a humor.

  Maybe I am being a little too dramatic.

  The doorbell rings. That must be Brent.

  “I’ll get it,” my dad says, eyes shining brightly when he smiles.

  He goes to open the front door with me following on his heels. I grab my coat and a hat from the closet and put them both on. It’s April, but it’s still cold out.

  “C’mon in, Brent.”

  My dad pulls open the door more, so Brent can enter. He’s dressed well for the weather, too. He’s wearing his letterman jacket—its resemblance to a uniform is a total turn on—along with a hat and gloves.

  “Thanks,” Brent says.

  “Hey, Brent!” Jas calls from the kitchen. “How’s it going?”

  “Good. Good.” He turns to me. “Hi.”

  That’s right. That smile still gives me chills.

  “All right, well, I guess we’re going.” I peck my dad on the cheek. “See ya.”

  My dad has t
ears swimming in his eyes, but they’re not enough to break the threshold. He’s always been somewhat emotional, and lately, he’s been wearing his heart on his sleeve.

  “I’m proud of you,” my dad mumbles, trying not to cry.

  “Thanks,” I say with a smile.

  “See you two later.”

  Brent and I walk to his car, but he stops halfway there.

  “What?” I ask.

  His playful grin tells me he has something up his sleeve. Brent then proceeds to moonwalk. He’s flipping moonwalking to the car. Are you kidding me? He won’t stop! I cross my arms over my chest as I pop out my hip. I’m trying really hard to look good and pissed off, but he looks so ridiculous that my lips can barely contain the laughter.

  When he finally finishes his show of the backward idiot slide, he jogs back over to where I’m standing and kisses me on the cheek.

  “You think you’re funny, don’t you?”

  Brent plants a kiss on my other cheek and then steps back, pouting his lower lip.

  “C’mon, join us on the dark side. You know you want to. Michael is calling you. He says he’ll forgive you if you can’t moonwalk.”

  Those puppy-dog eyes don’t hide the sarcasm he’s trying so hard to disguise.

  “Never. You look ridiculous. You know that, right?” Stepping forward, I put my arms around his shoulders, touching my nose to his.

  “So, this isn’t a turn-on for you? You don’t like my sweet moves?”

  “Oh, I like a lot of things about you, but save the moonwalking for, uh…never.”

  Closing the last inches between us, Brent kisses me deeply, lingering longer than appropriate. The passion in his kiss causes me to shiver within. How does he do that?

  He pulls his mouth back, leaning his head against mine. “Are you nervous?”

  “Yes,” I reluctantly admit.

  “Me, too.”

  He moves his lips to my forehead, kissing me tenderly, while stroking the exposed hair on the back of my neck below my hat.

  “Ready?” I breathe.

  “No. Yes. Sure.”

  “Indecisive much?”

  I catch a glimmer of mischief sweep across his lips before I find myself being hoisted over his shoulder and carried to the car. Part of me thinks about being playful, yelping a little at the audacity of him swooping me into his arms like some fair maiden, but I savor the feeling instead.

  ***

  Driving down the street, I reflect on the past six months. After my dad was released from the hospital, he spent the first month in rehab. It was really good for him and our whole family. My dad got the help he needed, and we got more insight into what would help our family work. Jas, Cody, and I went to every family session that was offered. We were determined to help my dad in any way we could. What happened before was a near-death tragedy and a huge wake-up call for all of us. We almost lost him, and he almost lost us.

  Since my dad got out of rehab, Jas has been regularly taking my him to AA meetings, and my dad has yet to have a relapse. I think the meetings are good for Jas, too. Cody has gone to a few as well. While I don’t think Cody ever had a problem like my dad, the whole situation has been really eye-opening for him. We’ve both been affected from witnessing what can happen when a person overindulges in intoxication.

  Do I think my dad might relapse ever again? Of course, I do. I think about it a lot, but I’ve learned to take it one day at a time. I enjoy each day I can for what it’s worth, and I go from there. That’s what my dad has been doing, too, since every day has its own struggles.

  I’ve been trying to do the same with Brent. I challenge my heart daily to be free and to take a chance. I trust him and want to be with him so much that it scares me, but I’m just taking it one day at a time.

  Since everything happened with my dad, Brent and I have grown closer. I guess when I opened my heart and my life, I found the people who love me the most. As a result, I’ve become capable of loving someone more than I ever thought possible.

  Pulling into the lot where his parents once planned to build a dock, we make our way toward the lake, putting the canoe into the water.

  “I still can’t believe we’re doing this. The lake was frozen only a month ago, and it’s still cold out. We could have had this conversation in a warmer place without the possibility of hypothermia or drowning,” Brent whines, handing me a paddle.

  I hop into the canoe. “Wimp,” I tease. “Get in the canoe. It’s gonna be great.”

  Brent mumbles something I don’t hear, but he gets in and pushes off of the edge of the rocks where the canoe floats.

  We paddle in silence over the water to our little sanctuary in this world. Heading to our island in this lake, I think we’re both nervous about what’s to come, but many months ago, we promised not to talk about it until the time came.

  During Thanksgiving, we realized that, as seniors, we were being told a lot to think about our futures. It was becoming a real problem for Brent and me to try and be with one another while everyone else was talking about their plans for life after high school. We didn’t want to think about being apart so soon after we’d just found each other.

  So, we came up with the college pact. Brent and I weren’t committed just yet to where we were planning to attend school. Even though he had a scholarship to State, he was still looking at other options. While State was an option I was open to, well after I met Brent, I was really hoping to go to Chicago. Something about the city intrigued me. That was when we decided that college talk was off-limits with one another until we made our final decisions.

  I worked with my guidance counselor to choose the right school for my interests and for me. It was really helpful because I had no idea what I wanted to do. When the acceptance letters arrived, we worked together to choose a school that was best for me, academically and financially. I tried not to base my decision on what school I thought Brent might pick. Brent promised to do the same when it came to choosing where he would attend in the fall.

  So, here we are, coming to shore at the island where we first saw the possibility of us. Today, without judgment or regret, we’re going to reveal to one another where we’re heading to school this fall. At least, that’s the plan.

  Grabbing my hand, Brent pulls me over to the path that leads to our little beach. Lifting my hand, he lightheartedly says, “Don’t be nervous.”

  “I’m trying not to be.”

  We arrive at the beach. Although the vegetation has yet to take bloom, the view is still nothing but serene. Every time the sun peeks out from the clouds, rays of sunshine sparkle over the still waters.

  I wrap my arms around Brent, pulling him close, as I lie my head on his shoulder. “I want you to know that, no matter what, every minute I’ve spent with you is something I will always remember.” I breathe, taking in his scent, and then I kiss him affectionately on the neck.

  “Me, too,” he states firmly, pressing his fingertips into my back. “Do you want me to go first?”

  “No, I will.”

  I pull my face up to his. When his mouth finds mine, I open it and my heart to him, pouring every emotion I can into this second. I feel it with all my heart.

  Brent’s movements are desperate like mine as we hang onto what might be our last moment without an ending hanging over us. Sure, we could do the long distance thing, but I think we both know it wouldn’t be practical or reasonable. Then again, who knows? What do I know about the future and what it holds?

  After swallowing audibly, he utters, “Tell me.”

  I can tell he’s holding his breath while he’s waiting for me to speak.

  “University of Chicago,” I say shyly. “The guidance counselor helped me with my applications and letters, and I got a full scholarship.”

  Brent buckles slightly, letting out the breath from his lungs. Pulling back to look at my face, he shakes his head. “I thought you were going to say State.”

  “I wanted to, but we agreed not to let each other influenc
e our decision. I…I was doing what we agreed upon, right? It’s the best school I could have gotten into, and I don’t have to worry about finances. Oh god, did I make the wrong choice? Did I miss something?” My voice wobbles through the words.

  Brent wraps his arms around me as mine go limp at my sides. I’m suddenly unsure about my decision, and I think he might be in shock that I didn’t choose the same school as him. I thought I was doing what we agreed upon, but maybe there was a hidden expectation.

  “Ruby,” he speaks softly into my ear, “no, you didn’t miss anything. You and I agreed to something, and you kept your word. I kept my word, too.”

  Brent’s mouth grazes my lower earlobe, exhaling a heated breath along my skin. Keeping my eyes shut, I raise my chin as he breathes along my jawline. He kisses me gently in the tender space under my other ear where the lobe connects with my neck. Part of me wants to shut down, so I can become numb to his open affection. I’m afraid of the hurt I will feel, knowing that the end for us is near. I fight off that part of me and remain right here, right now. I won’t let my fear take away my memory of our time together.

  “Let’s not talk about college anymore. Let’s forget we have to go at all until the time comes,” I force out the words for him and myself.

  “Okay,” he says. He kisses me quickly on the mouth. “But I have to tell you my choice.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “So, my choosing the University of Chicago doesn’t matter?”

  The side of his mouth turns up, exposing his inner excitement, while my mouth drops in shock and awe.

  “What? Why?” I blubber out.

  “I got in, and it’s a better school than all of my other options. Did you know they have one of the best MBA programs in the country?”

  “But what about your scholarship to State? I thought they wanted you?”

  “They do, but I’m not going to play soccer forever.”

  “Really?” I’m still in shock. “So, what does this mean?”

  “It means I get a chance to love you longer than just today.”

  Running his fingers through my hair at the nape of my neck, Brent leans his head against mine.