The Symbolon

by Colvin, Delia

  Having just turned back around, she heard Weege say, “Val, Paolo. Paolo, Val.”

  Valeria’s jaw dropped in horror and then repulsion. Weege noticed but didn’t seem troubled by her expression. “All right, well, I’m going to leave you two alone.” She giggled and disappeared in the crowd.

  The effect on Valeria’s body was immediate and intense, a chill ran down her, and then just as suddenly, her entire body began trembling violently. Even if she could have found her voice, there were no words to describe what she felt.

  She had to get out of there! He was blocking the way out. She would have to find another way. Leaning one hand on the wall and the other on the table, she crawled over the chair and table, almost dumping them—thank God she wore her running shoes!

  Fighting her way around the chairs and tables, cocktail waitresses with full trays, and a large mass of people, she moved, for once, without an apology or an “Excuse me, please.” From the corner of her eye she was certain she saw him following her. Suddenly, she was about to vomit! She covered her mouth as she broke into the restroom and pressed on stall doors until one opened, just as her stomach seized. It felt as if it would never stop, even though her stomach was mostly empty. Finally, the powerful spasms in her stomach ended and she went to the sink and rinsed her mouth. Then she realized, Oh, God…he would be waiting for her when she came out! She went back to the stall and locked the door.

  How could she speak to someone who had robbed her of the only people she loved in this world and the one person who she couldn’t live without? He had plotted and planned and then just as she was about to have everything that she could desire in life, he had ripped it from her grasp the night before her wedding!

  Earlier, she had been certain that she would not be able to stop herself from hurting him if she ever saw him. Now, here she was! Oh, God! She hadn’t actually cried since Caleb had left and she was determined that she wouldn’t cry now. How could he have the nerve to try and meet with her? She would never speak to him. She wished she was the kind of woman who could slap a man. She wanted to hurt him, to humiliate him for everything he had done...and instead, coward that she was, she hid in the bathroom stall.

  The bathroom door opened. “Val?” It was Weege.

  “Tell him to leave!” was all she could say.

  Knocking on the door to the stall, Weege said softly, “Honey, open up. Okay?”

  “Tell him to leave! Just do that! Just tell him to leave!” She felt herself getting hysterical.

  “Okay. Okay, honey,” Weege whispered. “I don’t know what happened with you and Alex, but, Val, Paolo is right outside the door and he can hear everything you say.

  “I explained to him that you just went through a rough break-up. He says he just wants to make sure you’re all right.” Valeria didn’t know how to respond. “Honey, did Paolo say something that upset you? He says he didn’t even say hello before you took off.” Weege knocked again. “He’s really a nice guy, he said—”

  Valeria felt the hysteria take over. She screamed, “You tell that son-of-a-bitch…you tell him that I will never want to see him. Never! Get rid of him! You tell him to get the hell out of my life!”

  Nausea overtook Valeria and she turned and vomited again. Weege knocked on the door to the stall. “Okay… It’s okay. I understand. This is about Alex. It’s probably just too soon. No problem. Come on out, okay, honey?”

  Something snapped in Valeria. She realized that she wasn’t a coward…and she certainly wasn’t afraid of Paolo! She opened the door of the stall and pushed past Weege and the five women holding out in the restroom waiting to witness the event. She rinsed her mouth and washed her trembling hands then splashed some cool water on her face, all while Weege stood looking helpless. She patted the water from her face with a towel. The other women in the restroom continued to watch, trying to pretend to be engaged in other activities, like lipstick application, obviously afraid they would miss the action when Valeria went postal on the man outside. That’s all right—she was stronger now. He had already taken everything she loved. There was nothing else he could take from her now!

  She pushed open the bathroom door and marched directly past him without even looking at him. If he touched her, he would regret it! She walked around the front of the bar and down the stairs with Weege following her to the door. “Val, wait! I need to get my purse!” But Valeria wasn’t waiting. She bolted, running past the Shubert Theater and then up 8th Avenue. She ran two blocks and then stopped, choking on a sudden sob that held her hostage. She leaned down on her knees as one long sob went through her and then she pushed it back. She wasn’t going to cry anymore.

  When she finally stood back up, Paolo was behind her looking concerned. Valeria looked at him and, again, no words would come from her mouth…and then something that was angry and animal arose in her. She would make him hurt! The street was still crowed with tourists when she swung her purse at his head, hitting him in the face, then she began punching him with her fists and kicking him. The tourists stared at her like this was just the sort of behavior they expected from a New Yorker. Then the tears started flowing, increasing with each punch or kick, becoming tears of rage and then pain. He didn’t defend himself. He didn’t need to. He wasn’t hurt by her efforts.

  When she realized that fact, she shook her head and said quietly, dangerously, “If you ever come near me again, I will kill you! I don’t care if I spend the rest of my life in jail. I’m already dead!” She turned and began to walk down the street, feeling empowered, and a little less dead than she had felt in months!

  Finally, he spoke with no anger or charm. “Bella, I had to do what I did. You would do the same thing for your family.” Valeria ignored him and flagged a cab. One angled in, and she waited until she was in the seat and the door was closed before giving the cabbie her address.

  It was silly. If he could find Weege and set-up this elaborate scene, he knew everything he needed to know about her. He had prepped Weege well. The set-up in the bar was perfect so that she was forced to see him. He knew she would attack him. He was prepared for that, too.

  An hour later, Weege showed up at Valeria’s. But Valeria didn’t want any company—except Alex. She needed Alex. But he didn’t come back to her. She had lain in her bed and willed him to come to her night after night, with no response. Now she was certain that it must have been a dream or a hallucination.

  Still, sometimes she had the feeling that his lips were there, inches from hers. And sometimes, she felt like he was thinking about her, especially when she was running. Didn’t he know that she needed him now? If it had been real, and it had to be real, she needed him. Weege kept pounding and apologizing until one of the neighbors started yelling at her to shut up. Now, Valeria listened as Weege and the neighbor had it out verbally. But Valeria had gotten her keys back from Weege and just didn’t want to talk. She hoped Weege would leave. How could she explain all this? Then she realized that she couldn’t.

  In her bed, she tried over and over to recreate the moment when Alex had come to her. She drifted again into a restless, dreamless state.

  ∞

  The next day, Valeria drank her coffee and then went to Zabar’s for groceries. She wore her sunglasses as a protective mechanism—she wasn’t in the mood to talk. She picked up kale, strawberries, more coffee, and cream and then walked back to her brownstone, sighing with relief after seeing no signs of Paolo.

  Maybe she could get a restraining order. Valeria wondered if there were any complexities in getting restraining orders against immortals…she didn’t even know his last name. Did he even have one? Back at her brownstone she blended the kale and strawberries and drank it down.

  Why didn’t Alex come back to her, like he did that time? That was real…she had to believe it was real! Maybe she had gone insane, like Cassandra. Valeria changed into her running clothes. She ran to the park and around the reservoir. Everything was in bloom. She realized that no matter the time of year, there was
never a time when she didn’t love the view of the skyscrapers about the rich green foliage. She could feel Alex’s love and then she remembered something that he said, “I’m sending you some people who I think can help us with this problem. We need help!”

  Had Alex intended to get help from Paolo? No! But then his last words to her in Greece were that Paolo had loved her. Alex had to know that she would never be with Paolo. But maybe Paolo had something that could help them resolve this. Maybe he knew where Kristiana was. Alex had to know that Valeria could never violate her loyalties or even pretend that she had anything but repulsion for Paolo. Still, maybe there was a way to get what she wanted. Maybe Paolo could understand how she felt about Alex. If Paolo had ever loved her, maybe he would drop this ridiculous petition.

  Valeria ran to the Bow Bridge overlooking the pond. She stopped to stretch, throwing one of her legs on top of the wrought iron rail, while glancing down at the rowboats in the narrow pond below. She heard his voice from behind her.

  “Bella?”

  She froze. Finally, she lowered her leg from the bridge and turned. “Why are you following me?” she asked hostilely.

  He stepped forward with a shrug and she sensed his nervousness. “Bella…Valeria, I know you are very angry with me. But I did what I had to do. You would do the same.”

  With no recognition or evaluation of the statement, she slapped Paolo with all of her might. His face turned from her effort. She noticed with pleasure, the red, angry mark on his face. She had finally made an impression!

  She glared at him with venom in her eyes. “What do you want from me?”

  Paolo looked down. “I want to make it up to you.”

  “There is only one way you can even begin to make it up. And until you are willing to do that, we have nothing to discuss.” She turned and started to walk away.

  “Yes…you are right.” He spoke with no hint of the arrogance that she had heard before. “That is what I am offering.” Valeria stopped. Was this a trick? Of course it was.

  She didn’t turn. “If that’s what you were offering, Alex would be here. Not you.”

  “It’s a proposition.”

  Valeria turned around. “Go on.”

  Paolo knew better than to reach for her. He evaluated her. “Maybe we should discuss this over lunch. You have lost too much weight.”

  “My weight is none of your business!” She glared at him. “Besides, you ruin my appetite. It’s here or nothing.”

  Paolo nodded. “I think I like you better like this than the sweet, young girl I married.”

  “Yeah, and I liked you better when you were gone!” She took a few steps toward him, “You need to understand this—you may have taken advantage of a fifteen-year-old girl who looked like me, but don’t you ever, for even one moment, think that you can talk to me that way now. Do you understand?” Paolo looked down and nodded. “Get to the point,” she demanded.

  “I want to see you.”

  “Not in your dreams!” She started to walk away.

  “I will allow you to see him.” It stopped her in her tracks as her heart suddenly lurched into her throat. She turned to look at him and felt her heart pounding heavily in anticipation. Oh, God, what she would do to see him!

  “I don’t believe anything you say,” she said cautiously.

  Paolo looked at her and his eyes softened. “You have my oath on it.” She felt her heart rate increase and she feared her emotions would overtake her if she didn’t remember that he was a con man.

  “What? I have to whore myself out to you and in exchange…” She gave him a look of vile disgust, but inside she knew that she would do anything for five more minutes in Alex’s arms.

  “No, Bella. There are many opportunities for me, if that was all that I desired. I want you to spend time with me.” She rolled her eyes in disbelief.

  “What’s the catch?” she asked suspiciously. A breeze suddenly moved through the greenery around the bridge and she thought she caught that blend of aftershave and soap on the air. Was it because they were talking about him?

  “No catch.” Paolo shrugged. “I believe that if you spend time with me you will get over your affliction for Alex. I am certain that you will realize that it is you and I who belong together.”

  Releasing a short, caustic laugh, she rolled her eyes. “That will never happen!”

  “That is a risk I am willing to take. Of course, if you are too afraid to risk the possibility that you and Alex are not meant to be together...”

  “I’m not afraid of you. I hate you.” The only emotion she felt at that moment was a well-hidden desperate desire to see Alex…and her obvious hatred of Paolo. “There is no risk for me, except that you won’t perform as agreed.”

  “Oh, I always perform.” He winked seductively. “Well then,” Paolo smirked, “I will see you this evening.”

  “Not so fast. What’s the agreement?”

  He looked up as if he was calculating but she knew that he would have considered all of this long before he arrived. “I will see you two weeks a month for a year and then you can see him for one day.” She calculated quickly.

  “You think I would do that? I will go out with you for a month one time a week, four dates, and then you withdraw this ridiculous petition!”

  “I cannot withdraw the petition. That would require a scheduled council meeting. Besides, it is in defense of my sister. But I can amend it. So eight months spending every weekend with me and then I will let you see him for eight hours.”

  She narrowed her eyes and shook her head. Truly she was willing to do anything she needed to for any time with Alex. And she knew that Paolo also knew that. “Three months, one date a week. Then you give me a weekend with Alex.”

  “I cannot give you overnight visits or I have violated our laws. Your visit can be no more than a day.”

  Leaning on the bridge, her eyes tightened as she had seen the attorneys do in negotiation. “Last offer: I see you for three months, two dates a week. No physical contact. At the end of the three months, you permit me twelve hours with Alex.”

  “Yes. But just so that you understand, I will not be offended if you wish to have physical contact with me. But I cannot permit you to have any physical contact with him.”

  A chance to see Alex, in three months! Valeria was certain her face flushed. “All right. I won’t ever want you. But I insist on seeing Alex alone.”

  “I agree to all of your terms, except again, it would be a violation for you to be alone with him. You may, however, be with him in a public place,” Paolo said, and she gave him a slight nod. While they both displayed a level of seriousness, inside they were both doing a victory dance…for very different reasons. “The first date is tonight. Be ready at six.”

  CHAPTER 11

  Paolo hadn’t asked for her address or what she would like to do. Still, the intercom rang at precisely six p.m. She didn’t let him into her building. In fact, she didn’t even answer the intercom. Instead, she came down the stairs and met him outside. Paolo was dressed immaculately in designer silk pants and a button down light blue shirt, opened at the collar. She, on the other hand, wore her yoga pants, a T-shirt covered by Alex’s gray jacket, and flip-flops, with her hair in a ponytail. He had flowers for her. She knew her flowers and this was a very expensive and beautiful design. She momentarily appreciated them then shrugged and tossed them into the trash can on the street.

  The car took them to a nearby marina on the Upper West Side. He offered his hand to help her out of the limo. She completely ignored his hand and stepped around him, avoiding eye contact.

  “I thought we would go out on my yacht.” There was a forty-five-foot sailboat named “The Isabella” in the marina. “I named it for you.”

  “I don’t like the water,” she said flatly. “And that’s not my name.”

  Paolo ignored her comments. “I think you will like this, bella. It is a beautiful evening.”

  Shaking her head, she muttered, “It’s just
one down, twenty-three to go.” She boarded the yacht.

  “Bella, three months, two dates per week is twenty-seven.” He lifted an eyebrow. “I expect you to pay in full!” he said.

  Her eyes narrowed; she knew the math. “Understand that the bargaining points are as discussed. There is no contract that includes physical contact.”

  The yacht pulled out into the Hudson and she had to admit that the temperature was delightful on the water.

  “We will eat now, I think,” he commanded.

  She sat at a table in the rear of the yacht that was set with white linens and china; a man in a white-tailed tuxedo brought out a bottle of fine wine. She was repulsed by just the idea that she was on Paolo’s yacht. She tapped her fingers anxiously on the table. Would this evening ever end? Oh, how she wanted to be any place but here! Still, the results were that she would get to see Alex. She had to keep her mind on the prize!

  Paolo nodded at the label on the wine and the server opened it smoothly. Just as Paolo was about to taste the wine, Valeria’s face suddenly lit up. “May I see the bottle?” she asked the server.

  “Bella, I did not realize you were a connoisseur.” He nodded to the server to show Valeria the bottle.

  Eyeing the label for a moment, she said, “Nice vintage.” Not that she would know a good vintage from a bad one. Frankly, she didn’t even know what a vintage was—except she had heard Alex say that occasionally.

  Then, to the server’s horror, she took the bottle from him. Taking a quick swig from the bottle, she rose and lumbered down the stairs, through the interior hallway, opening each door until she had located the bathroom. She glanced back, expecting to see Paolo raging; instead, saw that he was actually shaking his head in amusement. He wouldn’t be so amused after she spent the rest of the cruise in there! She locked the door and swigged the wine, feeling quite pleased with herself! It was just the sort of thing David, her ex-boyfriend, and the rest of his diplomatic crowd, would describe as vulgar. After ten minutes, Paolo knocked on the door.