The Symbolon

by Colvin, Delia

  Weege turned to Valeria. “Can you imagine?” Valeria shook her head. “So, Paolo comes by five minutes later and I think he is just about perfect for you! Then he said I should keep the meeting very casual. He also said that the two of you may have had a misstep during the transition…” Weege rolled her eyes. “Misstep! Huh! I still don’t know what happened with that!” Valeria shrugged as if it wasn’t worth discussing and Weege continued, taking a bite of a carrot stick. “Well, anyway, Paolo said he wanted another chance to not screw things up with you…or something like that. Oh, and he asked me not to tell you who he was until he could clear it all up.”

  Valeria glanced at Weege and shook her head. “Clear it all up? Is that what he said?”

  “Something like that.” Weege thought for a moment, as Valeria anxiously waited to hear what words Paolo had used, feeling herself getting riled up. Weege glanced up. “Oh! I remember. He said that he would appreciate an opportunity to show you that he wasn’t the guy who you met before.” Valeria sighed. “He said that he would appreciate it—and so would Orin.” Weege sighed. “And you know the rest.” Valeria twisted her neck in tension. “Val, you must have had some fight with him, huh?”

  “Don’t remember him.” Boy, she had gotten adept at lying, but she had needed to in order to survive the past few months. Valeria glanced down. “I’m going to take Charlie for a walk. I’ll be back.”

  Valeria hooked him up on his leash and Charlie started wagging half of his body in response. She smiled and then noticed Paolo watching her. Despite her anger toward him, he had grown on her, although she really didn’t want that. She wanted to hate him forever. But he had been a friend in a time when she felt very alone—albeit because of him!

  Still, she found that she looked forward to their meetings although she refused to call them dates. Only six more weeks and she could see Alex. Her longing for him had not waned. There was this emptiness in her gut that nothing seemed to fill…except for him! One thing she felt certain of, Paolo would not permit her and Alex to meet if Paolo felt any threat that Alex would win. The meeting with Alex had to feed Paolo’s plan, not Alex’s.

  Her mind had gone wild in the months with nothing from Alex to let her know that he was thinking of her. It was definitely a curse of her well-honed imagination! She wondered what he would say. Did he still love her? Would he tell her that he had reunited with Kristiana? Would he let her down easy? Valeria shook her head attempting to free herself from her thoughts. Still, she felt like she was in the best shape of her life, physically. And emotionally, she was doing better with her sweet Charlie. Alex would love Charlie. In her mind, she could see Alex playing with Charlie in front of the fire at their beloved cottage.

  The first anniversary after her twenty-seventh birthday was in just over four months, the birthday that she had been cursed to die on for eons. Was she immortal now? Or had they just delayed things a year, as Tavish had questioned? She felt a cold chill run down her spine. She didn’t want to be away from Alex on that day. Perhaps they could meet on the anniversary of their first meeting in Central Park, when he had saved her life. She felt a tension of yearning in her gut. No, she couldn’t wait that long.

  She imagined that they would hold hands—maybe that was permitted—and talk. Regardless of any rules, Valeria would tell Alex how much she missed him. He would tell her that they had made great progress and they wouldn’t have to be apart much longer. Or maybe he would surprise her early and tell her that everything had been resolved and they would walk off into the sunset—Alex, Charlie, and her.

  The walk back to the group was a lonely one—wondering if she would ever hold Alex again. At least Charlie’s wagging tail and smiling brown eyes made her feel a little less alone. She watched as a couple kissed over Bow Bridge. To be feeling that feeling again, so loved, so protected…so unalone. She had waited night after night for Alex to come back to her, but now she decided it had all been a dream or hallucination.

  At the blanket, Kenny was making his way through half of a pie that Weege had brought. Paolo saw Valeria and jumped up in concern. “Valeria! I was about to go looking for you.” She shrugged.

  “I was just walking.” The world smelled of grilled hot dogs.

  Paolo looked at her critically. “You are sad.”

  She didn’t answer. Those thoughts were best kept in her head. Weege and Kenny were in their own world. Paolo started playing and laughing with Charlie. She noticed that Paolo’s eyes sparkled when he laughed and, despite the fact that she did not want to notice, it was hard to ignore how attractive he was. Paolo would never replace Alex, but his company was still oddly and surprisingly comforting to her.

  She laid back on the blanket and stared at the sky, noticing its intense shades of blue, wondering why life had taken her down this path. Why had she met Alex, only to be left alone without him? She closed her eyes, not wanting to think about it. The sun warmed her and she listened to nearby children laughing and playing. It was such a joyful sound. She imagined Alex there with her and breathed deeply, relaxing finally. She felt Charlie curling into her and she wrapped her hand around him. Thinking how the world would be perfect with Alex sitting next to her, her fingers moved through Charlie’s fur and then she felt Paolo’s fingers as he attempted to lace his fingers through hers…the way she would do with Alex. Her eyes flew open in shock as she immediately pulled her hand back and jumped up.

  “I’m going home. You all have fun without me.” She straightened her top and grabbed Charlie’s leash. Paolo looked at her with concern.

  Weege looked mildly upset. “The concert hasn’t even started!”

  “I’m just not in the mood for a concert. Besides, I think Charlie is overwhelmed with all the people.”

  Paolo stood. “I’ll walk you home.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “Thanks.”

  Paolo kept walking with her. “Did I do something to anger you?”

  “I’m just tired. I’ll see you next week,” she muttered.

  “I had a thought,” Paolo said, and she could hear his concern. She tried to keep her thoughts about Alex to herself, although it didn’t seem as if he cared anymore. She kept walking briskly and Paolo easily kept up as he said, “I thought perhaps we could go away together.”

  “No. Sorry.”

  He pulled on her arm to stop her. “What is it, Valeria?”

  She turned to Paolo. “Do you talk to him?” she blurted out, without thinking.

  Considering his answer carefully, Paolo finally said, “Yes, sometimes.”

  “Does he,” she gulped, “ask about me?” Tears welled in her eyes.

  Paolo considered for several minutes and then looked down and nodded almost imperceptibly.

  She swallowed and said almost in a whisper, “What do you tell him?” She knew she was crossing the line but she felt she had a moment where she might hear the truth from Paolo. A few kids on bikes rushed by them and Valeria pulled in Charlie’s leash, but otherwise she didn’t move.

  “I tell him how you are.” Valeria looked at him as if the answer was a cop-out. Paolo drew a fast deep breath, knowing he needed to give her more. “I tell him that you are doing better every day.”

  “Does he know about…the arrangement?”

  “He is aware that there is an arrangement.” Paolo continued to keep his face down.

  Valeria drew a shaky breath and touched Paolo’s arm with a plea in her eyes. “I can’t wait another six weeks to see him. Will you let me see him sooner?”

  He looked away.

  “Please, Paolo.” She swallowed back a tear. “Please, let me see him sooner?”

  Evaluating her critically, he finally responded. “Valeria, we have an agreement.” He thought for another moment, analyzing her expression, and his face softened for just a moment before he nodded. “All right, I have something I want and you have something you want. If you go away with me for a week, I will consider that as a fair exchange. But, be warned. I do not know if Alex can
rearrange his schedule. So, please, do not take my word that he will be able to see you any sooner.”

  She touched his arm. “I won’t sleep with you.”

  He jerked back, angrily. “You think I do this for sexual pleasure?” His eyes clouded. “There is much more at stake for me. I know for you it is just the price to pay so that you can see a man who is married to another woman. For me, it is having my wife back.”

  For half of a second, perhaps less, Valeria felt sorry for him. But then she remembered that Paolo was the cause of so much of this devastation in her life.

  She took a deep breath. “Separate rooms. Separate baths. No midnight visits.” Paolo nodded and smiled. She went on, “And then, I want to see Alex.”

  She turned from Paolo and walked away without another word.

  CHAPTER 13

  The flight climbed through a clear New York sky and over the Atlantic. It was the first time Valeria had flown since her return to the States and she had vowed that she wouldn’t let herself get melancholy. Instead, she would focus on this trip and attempt to enjoy it and then, hopefully, she would see Alex when she returned!

  Paolo was drawing a lot of attention from the flight attendants and it was getting on Valeria’s nerves. She rolled her eyes at one of the flight attendants who had been unprofessional enough to begin giving Paolo details of the Mile High Club initiations with a hint of invitation in her voice. Paolo smiled subtly and Valeria guessed that he had already conducted his fair share of initiations.

  As soon as the flight attendant left, Paolo’s face lit in amusement as he turned back toward Valeria. “You are a jealous one.” He tapped her nose. “I remember.”

  Pulling away, she wondered why men thought it was appropriate to talk to women like they were little girls—so condescending! Alex would never talk to her like that.

  “I am not jealous of anyone who chooses to flirt with you! Or do anything else with you for that matter! For all I care, she can have at you. It’s just, whatever happened to professional conduct? Those women don’t know that we are just friends. I could be your wife for all they know.”

  “You were my wife!” he said, with a glint in his eyes.

  Leaning into the window, she huffed, “Well, I’m not now.”

  They landed at the airport in Frederiksted, on the island of St. Croix, a few hours later. Valeria had watched the shades of the Caribbean change from deep sky blue to azure, to an incredible turquoise that she had always believed had been enhanced on Photoshop.

  But the area around the airport was disappointing. It was flat and desert-like and surrounded by refineries. Paolo saw her expression as she looked out at the island. “Valeria, St. Croix is one of the most majestic of the Caribbean islands. You will not be disappointed!” Then he winked at her in a way that reminded her of Alex.

  As they walked out of the open air terminal, there was a rum stand and the woman signaled them over. “I don’t think I like rum,” Valeria said.

  “You must try it!” Paolo led her to the stand. The woman poured several different types of rum in small thimbles. Valeria had expected it to be like shooting vodka. But to her surprise it was delicious! After a few tastes, she nodded to Paolo that she was done and they climbed into their limo.

  Sitting in the backseat, Valeria watched with horror as their driver pulled out on the wrong side of the road. Then she relaxed as she realized—thank God—that the other cars were also driving on the “wrong side” of the street! They headed toward the center of the island, winding their way over the crest and through a small rainforest, and then they came to an overlook that revealed a remarkable view of the north shore of St. Croix.

  As the limo looped through the coastal town of Christiansted, Paolo had the driver pull over. They strolled along the waterfront with its wood buildings and narrow alleys with small, but elegant, tourist shops framed by palms. In a jewelry shop, Valeria fell in love with the simple elegance of the Croixian bracelet. It was a sterling silver band with a hook that latched in a U.

  Paolo tossed his card on the counter to purchase it for her, and Valeria shook her head disapprovingly. She wasn’t going to wear any jewelry purchased for her by any man, except Alex! She handed the jeweler her own card and then asked him to wrap a gold Croixian bracelet as well. She would give the gold one to Weege for taking care of Charlie. Valeria would have loved to purchase one for Camille also. But Camille, the sister of her heart, her closest friend in the world, could never see her again…because of the charming man whom she was vacationing with.

  Valeria wished that she could hate Paolo forever, but she seemed to be incapable of holding anger or hate in her heart for any length of time. It just wasn’t within her. And, frankly, he was growing on her. Still, she would never forget what he did! She was certain that a part of her acceptance of him in her life was that those sweet months in Italy seemed almost like a dream, almost like it had never happened, except for Paolo’s presence. She had to know that it had been real! The purpose of this trip, and the only reason she agreed to see Paolo at all, was for the chance to see her beautiful Alex. Just the thought of Alex caused her heart to jump as tears briefly rimmed her eyes. Then she remembered the promise to herself and she shook off the tears. She had spent enough of the past few months in mourning.

  They strolled along the wharf and stopped at a seaside restaurant. While eating her salad, Paolo struck up a conversation with the bartender, who convinced Valeria to taste a few more flavors of Cruzan rum; it tasted good and went down like juice!

  They were joined by a very charming sailor, known as “Black Beard,” who had an extraordinarily long beard—though it was now white. Captain Jim, as he was known by the locals, told Valeria about sailing to Buck Island and how magical it was. She explained to him that she was afraid of the water, but with Valeria’s courage artificially amplified by the rum, she agreed and Paolo booked a trip that left within the hour.

  Realizing that she hadn’t even brought a swim suit, she went into the dive store. To her disappointment, they only had bikinis in her size. After searching through their meager selection for a few minutes, she finally found a black one that covered a little more of her than the others had. She purchased that and a white cotton cover-up and wore it and some flip flops out of the store. Paolo was wearing swim trunks and a white polo shirt. She had to admit that he looked good. Soon, they saw a catamaran with a sail that had a caricature of a jovial sailor with a long black beard.

  They boarded and Paolo encouraged Valeria to sit on the netting, but the memories of the netting of the catamaran from last fall made her nervous. Paolo ordered her a rum punch and that loosened up her fears and, soon, she easily went to the front of the boat with him. As the catamaran moved its way out toward Buck Island, Paolo pulled off his shirt. Valeria noticed several women eyeing Paolo. She also noticed that Paolo was fully aware of his affect on women and completely enjoyed it—knowing exactly how to play it so that all eyes were on him. Paolo leaned back against the incline of the cabin in front of the boat and moved his arms so that they flexed and then rubbed lotion over his chest and shoulders as several of the girls’ jaws hit the floorboards. Valeria rolled her eyes and, with a smirk, looked off in another direction.

  “What?” Paolo asked, with mock innocence. Valeria just continued to shake her head in mild amusement. “What?” he asked again, both of them fully aware of the game being played.

  As they approached the island they were surrounded by dolphins that swam synchronously in front of the catamaran, crisscrossing in front of them. Valeria’s face lit in absolute delight!

  Twenty minutes later they pulled between the reefs near the deserted island. Captain Jim explained that Buck Island had been named a National Monument by JFK who had sought to preserve the reefs. The air smelled of coconut oil and rum punch. Paolo tried to encourage her to snorkel with him. Evidently, there was a path through the reefs that surrounded the island. But there was no chance she would do that. Paolo went off…followed by
a half dozen young girls.

  There was a little boy who was terrified of the water. She knew how that fear felt! But with the help of the rum, Valeria found herself attempting to lure the boy into the water with her. As she climbed down the ladder into the warm Caribbean, she noticed something moving toward them in the water that was disc shaped. She decided that it must be a ray. While everyone on the boat clamored into the water to swim with the ray—or with Paolo—Valeria sat in the very shallow azure waters of the deserted Buck Island. It felt extraordinary, like bath water!

  She had finally convinced the little boy to join her, and they sat on the very edge of the water as they happily built a sand castle. The ray seemed to agree with their location and joined them. She saw it approaching and, somehow, with its shape and the soft sand, it moved swiftly and smoothly underneath them. If she hadn’t seen it, she wouldn’t have known he was there.

  While excited for herself that this shy creature had decided to join her, she knew that the boy would not be so pleased. When the boy looked through the two inches of water in front of him and realized there was an eye in the sand, if he could have walked on water, he would have. Fortunately, he didn’t have that far to go. Valeria worked to hide her giggles. Why was it that every other person there had attempted to draw the ray to them, but it chose the one person, the little boy, who wanted to avoid it!

  The crew started a fire on the island and grilled fresh fish and vegetables. Paolo retrieved two large plates and they sat on the warm sand while they feasted. She had to admit it was delicious and that she was enjoying herself. After lunch, Paolo returned to the snorkeling trails, while she laid back, catching color for the first time in...well, she thought, probably the first time!