Sighing, I shook my head. This was such a mess.
The dream had been so vivid. I could feel the way he touched me, how his body felt pressed against my skin, how his scent filled my breath. But it was just a dream and I had to push it away, just like I was pushing Logan away.
Addy, I love you.
Derek was my future—or at least, my immediate future and the type of long term future I was supposed to be looking for. I just had to remind myself of that.
I reached my classroom where several students were waiting outside. A few of them I recognized, though I couldn’t place their faces with any names. I didn’t know them well enough for that. A boy was sitting with his laptop open in front of him as he sat cross-legged on the floor, hunched over. He had glasses and several papers spread out in front of him. He was typing diligently, not stopping for anything or anyone. He didn’t even notice me as I passed him to stand on the other end of the wall. There were also a couple of girls talking quietly. They were smiling and giggling on occasion, but nothing obnoxiously.
Other than that, the hall was empty. I leaned against the wall, waiting for class. When arriving early to a class, it was usually okay for students to take their seats early to wait for the professor to show up. That being said, there was another class in there before us and it wasn’t a good idea to walk in on a class that you weren’t even in.
So we all waited outside.
Eventually the class before us let out. Students poured from the door and I didn’t envy them. I had some early classes and was mostly okay with that, but they had extra early classes. There were only a few like that, because professors didn’t want to get up that early any more than students did. Even so, there were a few classes that students who needed an especially early schedule could take. This happened to be one of them.
As the last of the students exited, I saw the professor follow. He yawned as he passed me and for a moment I just watched him in disbelief. Who knew that professors could fall out of professor mode?
After that, those of us waiting in the hall started filing in. We scattered across the large auditorium, taking seats at various locations. I sat near the front so that I could have a better chance at paying attention. A lot of people made fun of the people who sat in front, but I ignored any of the comments that might have been directed at me. My education was important. I’d made that decision a long time ago, and I wasn’t going to listen to some stupid kid mock me for trying hard.
I pulled out my notebook and my pen, as well as my text book, setting it out on my small desk so that I was fully prepared for when class started.
I almost laughed at myself when I thought about how much I’d changed.
Where was the girl who always sat in the back? Where was the girl who slept during class and partied all night? Where was the girl who didn’t care what teachers had to say, because they didn’t know the first thing about the real world?
I thought I’d known everything back then, but looking back, I felt pretty ridiculous. Who was I fooling? I was just some dumb kid.
Cracking a small smile, I shook my head a little at myself and was grateful that I’d grown up a little, even if it wasn’t a result of the best of circumstances.
Five minutes before class was about to start, I remembered my cell phone. I fished it out of my bag and woke it up—I didn’t want it going off during class. As I did so, I saw that I had a new message.
From Logan.
Give me a chance.
I shut it down immediately, turning it completely off after putting it on silent. I couldn’t deal with this now. I wasn’t sure I could deal with this ever.
When class got out, I didn’t check my phone. In fact, I didn’t check my phone until I’d gotten to the dining hall and Kass asked me if I was still going to meet for coffee. I cursed silently to myself, remembering our coffee date plans. They were set for lunch and I didn’t know exactly where he wanted to meet me, so I’d have to call or text him to find out.
Which meant checking my phone…
“Damnit,” I said out loud, wanting anything but having to check my phone.
Kass frowned at me. She was sitting across from me, picking at her salad. It had chicken in it and it definitely wasn’t made here. I wondered if she made it herself or her and James’s relationship had developed to the overly cuteness point of him making her lunches to take to school.
The thought alone was enough to make me want to roll my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Kass asked, eyeing me uncertainly. “I thought you were looking forward to your coffee date?”
I could hear the sudden hesitant and tentative tone in her voice. She was nervous, because this was her brother. I shook my head at her quickly, giving her my best ‘you know better’ look and hoping that would convince her that this had nothing to do with Derek.
Which, technically, it didn’t.
“No,” I told her, pulling my phone out of my bag and indicating it. It was still off. “My phone died this morning, so I can’t text him where we should meet.”
It was a complete, boldfaced lie, but I had to do it. I couldn’t bear to see if Logan was sending me anymore texts. That first one was enough to throw off my whole day. It didn’t help that I was dreaming about taking him for another ride between the sheets last night.
Kass rolled her eyes at me. “Oh, jeez. Is that what all the cursing is about?” Reaching into her own bag, she pulled out her cell phone and slid it across the table to me. “Just use mine. It’s got plenty of battery and obviously I already have his number. Just be sure to let him know it’s you texting.”
I grinned at her, accepting the phone gratefully. “What? Don’t want your brother thinking that your most exciting date is with him?” I teased.
“Uh, no,” she told me in her best ‘well, duh’ voice. “I don’t want him to think that something gross and ridiculous, like Poodle Bear is my nickname for him.” She shuddered at her own words, a look of horror and disgust crossing her features. “Ew. Just ew.”
I laughed at her. “Poodle Bear?”
She shrugged. “What?” she demanded, returning to her definitely not cafeteria food salad. “It was the most awkward pet name I could think of.”
I had to give her points for that. It was horrifically awkward as far as pet names went. And it was definitely not one I would ever use, but it got her point across.
I found Derek’s number in her contacts list and started a message. This is Addy. My phone died. Where you wanna meet?
Leaving it on the counter in front of me, I stole a piece of chicken off of Kass’s salad, much to her annoyance, as I waited for his reply. It came quickly.
Thought you might stand me up. Out on the quad by that Coffee Bean place that has the good blended drinks.
I let out a small sigh of relief. At least he didn’t suggest the coffee shop I usually went to. After my last Lexie encounter, I was most definitely giving it a decent amount of space before heading over there again.
Be there in ten.
After replying to his message, I slid Kass’s phone back to her. “Thanks,” I said, smiling at her as I got up from the table.
She nodded her head at me. “You bet. Have a good time. Don’t do anything indecent or weird. He is my brother after all.”
I gave her an incredulous, mock offended look. “Excuse me! I’m meeting him for coffee, not a little hanky panky in the park.”
Laughing out loud at me, Kass shook her head. “I love it. I’m totally going to say hanky panky in the park now.”
Rolling my eyes at her, I waved and walked away. “Bye.”
I heard her laughing up until I excited the room, the doors closing behind me.
This morning, everything had been pretty quiet. Though there had been plenty of students around, they were mostly half awake and none of them were really interested in lingering outside to chat with friends. Now, there were twice as many students and they were definitely awake. They were mostly in groups now, chatting
and laughing together as they headed towards lunch or class. Only a few people were rushing at this point, most of them slowly making their way to wherever it was they needed to be.
I moved at a steady pace, aiming towards the quad and the coffee shop that was little more than a stand. The Coffee Bean was popular mostly because it was in what was widely accepted as the center of campus and everyone at one point or another passed it. No one would be sitting down or staring out of windows, but plenty of people were waiting in line to get some coffee.
Including a tall, handsome young man with brown hair and brown eyes.
Derek caught my eye and smiled at me. He waved me over.
I smiled back, and went to his side. Leaning close, I asked, “Do you think it’s alright if I cut?”
He laughed, then slipped his arm around my shoulders. He felt warm and inviting. “I don’t know about that, but I know that I don’t care if they do.”
We made it to the counter after maybe ten minutes of waiting—it was a busy time for coffee, apparently—and ordered a couple of coffees and a croissant to split. Since we obviously couldn’t eat our food there at the shop, we decided to treat it sort of like a picnic and eat outside.
There were tables all over the quad since it was a fairly popular hangout spot for students in between their classes.
We picked one that was unoccupied—one of the only ones that wasn’t filled with other students—and sat down with our coffees.
I sipped at mine carefully. It was still hot.
“So you’ve roomed with Kass since freshman year?” Derek asked conversationally.
I shook my head. “No, not freshman year. We had some classes together and really hit it off,” I explained. My first roommate had actually been a terror and the thought of her made me want to strangle someone. “So when we finally got to move out of the dorms, we thought it would be cool if we could room together.”
“Just you, Kass, and two of your closest friends?” he teased.
I laughed, running a hand through my sleek hair. “Yeah, I guess. But we figured that no matter who we ended up with, at least we’d have each other to help make it through.”
“Harder to get out numbered when you have at least one person on your side?” he asked, taking a drink of his coffee.
I picked off a piece of the croissant, and nodded my head. “Yeah, pretty much. I’d rather get stuck with a bunch of strangers and Kass, than room without her, you know?”
He smiled. “You guys seem pretty close.”
“We are,” I agreed, chewing on the croissant. It was buttery and flaky and way better than I was expecting. Of course, I had also skipped breakfast and hadn’t eaten lunch yet, so that might have had something to do with it. “You’re sister’s a really cool, understanding person.”
Placing his arms on the table, his hands cupping his coffee cup, he agreed. “Yeah, she’s a pretty amazing person. It’s pretty hard not to like her.”
“So how much longer before med school?” I asked.
He considered my question for a moment, then said, “Well, I’m scheduled to graduate at the end of this year. I obviously still have to take my exams, but as long as I study, it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“And where to from there?” I was legitimately impressed that he’d come so far and was talking so casually about his exams. Not like he was just a genius who was going to take the world by storm or some snobby rich kid who knew his daddy could buy his way into the school. It was more like he knew that if he put his mind and his heart into this, he’d be fine. There was a lot to be said for the kind of confidence that wasn’t egotistical.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve got a couple in mind,” he admitted. “But I haven’t picked one for certain. And, you know, I do still have to get in after that.” He grinned, showing that he was neither too cocky, nor too down on himself. It made me like him a little more.
I smiled. “Okay, then top three. If you could have your pick, where would they be?”
Reaching his hand up to scratch his chin in mock thought, he answered, “Well, I mean obviously anything like Harvard or Johns Hopkins is a given, but I don’t really expect to get that high up. And even if I did, no way I’d be able to pay for it without some kind of scholarship. So, for realistic choices, I’m aiming for Pennsylvania, Columbia, or the University of Washington. They’re some of the top schools, but not so high up the list that it’s impossible to get in.”
I nodded my head. That was smart, to have picks that were in the top, but also have several back ups that were good but not too good. “That’s a really good idea. I think I’ll steal it from you.”
He grinned at me. “You’re going to medical school, too?” he asked in an exaggerated tone of mock surprise.
I laughed, shoving at him. “No! Of course not. But I’m going to pick a few good graduate programs for business and try for a bunch of different ones to find one that’ll take me and that I can afford.”
Waving his hand dismissively, he told me, “I wouldn’t worry about it. You’re smart enough that any school would be lucky to have you.”
A small blush crept along my cheeks and a smile curled along my lips. “I’m not that smart,” I responded, feeling a little embarrassed by the compliment.
He shook his head. “Yes, you definitely are. And everyone knows it, too.” He reached across the table to take my hand in his. He was warm, his hand soft in mine, but strong.
I bit my lip as a warm feeling of affection spread through my body. My heart started beating faster and I couldn’t stop smiling.
The school clock chimed, letting me know that my lunch period was almost up. I got up and Derek followed suit.
“Midnight for Cinderella?” he asked lightly, still holding on to my hand.
I laughed at that. “Yeah. This is where I have to run home and turn back into the maid.”
He grinned at me and we both fell silent for a long moment. He stepped closer to me and I started to breathe harder. We were so close together that there were only inches between us.
“I’ve got class,” I told him finally, my voice soft as I stared up into his brown eyes. “I should go.”
He nodded his head, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he leaned forward slowly, hesitantly. Gently, his soft lips pressed against mine. I closed my eyes and leaned up into the kiss. His free hand went to my hair, his fingers slipping through it softly.
After a moment, we broke apart, both of us blushing and grinning. “Dinner?”
I nodded my head.
“I’ll text you,” he said. “So charge your phone.” He winked at me and then turned away, heading off to his own class. He looked back at me, still smiling, then continued on.
But I didn’t move. I was frozen in place as soon as he mentioned my phone. Why? Because my phone wasn’t dead. It was off, because I didn’t want to check my messages. Because as soon as I did, I knew I would see at least one there from Logan.
Give me a chance.
Chapter 5
I had one of those reusable grocery bags slung over my shoulder as I walked with my head down towards the store. We were out of groceries and I volunteered to go before anyone could say anything—or Kass could ask me how things were going with Derek.
Honestly, they were going great with Derek, except that he wasn’t the man I was having hot and heavy dreams about.
Logan was on my mind more than ever, and between my own traitorous thoughts and his barrage of text messages begging for a second—or were we on the third?—chance, it was no wonder that I couldn’t forget him, no matter how much I needed to.
The walk to the store was in the opposite direction from campus. It wasn’t downtown or anything, but it was on the way there. I could have taken the bus, but it wasn’t that long of a walk, and I wanted the cool air around me. It made it easier to think, I figured, especially if I was going to be thinking of Logan.
Which I was, despite my best efforts.
Why was he still trying t
o get ahold of me? After what I told him last night? After overhearing what I’d said to Miranda the first day she popped up on my doorstep? Surely he wouldn’t want anything to do with me after that, right?
But no, he’s still convinced that he loves me, I realize. And he thinks that his love is enough to win me back.
“How can you win someone back when you never had them in the first place?” I asked myself aloud. A guy passed me just as I said it, giving me a funny look as he did.
I pulled my coat tighter around me, feeling my cheeks blush slightly in embarrassment. Now I was sharing my problems with random strangers, albeit inadvertently.
I walked the rest of the way to the store as quickly as possible. I stopped at the corner, waiting for the light to turn. When it did, I glanced both ways to make sure that it was okay to go. When I’d deemed it was safe enough, I went across the street to the opposite corner where the store was located.
There were several cars in the parking lot, but it wasn’t packed. I’d gotten here early enough—or late enough—that most people had already picked up their groceries and gone home. I went inside, the automatic doors opening as I stepped up to them. I didn’t bother with a cart, but picked up a hand basket.
I didn’t have a list or anything, because I’d run out of there so fast to avoid any questions I might get from Kass. As a result, I was going to have to wing it. I headed to the dry foods first. Pick the things up that didn’t need to be refrigerated and that weren’t liable to get bruised or broken if they were on the bottom.
Mostly, it was pastas, crackers, and peanut butter. Just the essentials. Then I picked up a few sodas—no packs, because I wasn’t interested in carrying that home with me—then headed to the fresh foods section. I wasn’t going to worry about the frozen stuff. I was fairly certain that we still had enough stuff in the freezer, that we were fine.
I looked at the apples, trying to find the good ones. I hated getting the prepackaged ones, because they always tasted too waxy. Fresh, hand picked ones were always better. As I was examining apples for the best ones, I heard Lexie’s voice.
Wrecked Book 4 Page 3
