by Carrie Elks
‘How are you?’ Everett finally asked.
Adam’s good mood immediately disappeared. ‘Do you care?’
‘What kind of question is that? I’m your brother, of course I care.’
Adam stared at him, trying to work out his angle. If there was one thing he’d learned about Everett since LA, it was that there was always an angle.
‘In that case, I’m fine.’
There was a pause as Everett took another mouthful of coffee. Swallowing it down, he stared at Adam, an expectant look on his face.
‘What?’ Adam couldn’t stand the silence.
‘Aren’t you going to ask me how I am?’
‘Wasn’t planning on it.’ Adam couldn’t even look him in the eye. He turned his back on him, walking into the food cupboard to grab what he needed. As far as he was concerned, the sooner he was out of the house and on his way back down to the cabin the better.
‘Can’t we put this behind us?’ Everett’s voice made him jump. He’d followed Adam across the kitchen and was standing in the doorway. ‘Let bygones be bygones. It’s Christmas, the season of goodwill. What else do you need, a visit from a freaking angel?’
Adam narrowed his eyes. ‘This isn’t a movie, Everett. You don’t get to act like an asshole and then do a one-eighty in the last ten minutes. I’ll come for Christmas dinner to please our parents, but that’s all.’
His brother’s face hardened. ‘So there’s nothing I can say…’
‘Nothing I’m going to listen to. Save your breath, and I’ll save mine. While you’re here I’ll tolerate you, but we’re not going to skip off into the sunset.’
‘Well, you won’t have to tolerate us for long.’ Everett let out a frustrated sigh. ‘We’ll be gone by next week.’
Adam’s jaw twitched. He should be glad to hear that. He should be happy his brother was planning to leave as soon as possible. But if Everett left, so would Jonas, and that would mean Kitty leaving, too.
He’d only just found her. They were only just getting to know each other. And before he’d even had a chance to truly have her, he knew it was all going to be for nothing.
She’d leave, he’d stay here in his cabin, and everything would go back to the way it had always been. Maybe he shouldn’t get involved, or risk getting his heart hurt yet again.
But even as he entertained that thought, he dismissed it without hesitation. He was going to spend as much time as he could with Kitty Shakespeare, and he wasn’t going to regret a single thing about it.
25
’Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers
– Romeo and Juliet
Kitty raised her eyebrows as she looked at the stove. ‘No meat? You surprise me, I put you down as a caveman type of eater.’
Adam turned, still stirring the pasta sauce, and shot her a grin. ‘No beef, no chicken and definitely no deer.’ He winked at her, reminding her of the day they met. ‘Just mushrooms in an Alfredo sauce. Unless you have a thing against mushrooms.’
‘I have nothing against mushrooms.’ She took a sip of the wine he’d poured for them both. ‘As long as you didn’t shoot them with a rifle.’
‘Even mushrooms deserve to be put out of their misery.’
‘Mushrooms don’t have misery,’ she pointed out. ‘They don’t have feelings at all. They’re fungi.’
‘Fun guys. Just like me.’ He winked.
‘Mmhmm, just like you.’ She rolled her eyes at his lame joke. Leaning towards him, she brushed her cheek with his, stealing a carrot from the salad he’d made. Adam tried to grab it back, mock-fighting with her until they were both laughing and the carrot dropped onto the floor.
‘Stop playing with the food,’ she chastised, as Adam grabbed the wine bottle to fill her glass. ‘It’s like cooking with a child.’
‘Are you calling me a kid?’ He tipped his head to the side.
‘If the cap fits…’
‘I think you’ll find I’m all man.’ He leaned down and kissed her, his lips warm and inviting. ‘Only a man would kiss you like this,’ he whispered.
‘Mmm.’ She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back.
They’d been like this ever since she’d arrived at the cabin an hour earlier. Playful then heated, and oh-so-easy with each other. She’d been on dates before, but never ones that made her feel so at home and yet completely out of her comfort zone at the same time. They were walking a high wire, hand in hand.
Adam ran his lips down the side of her face, lingering at her jaw.
She gasped as he nipped the sensitive skin of her neck.
He left a lingering kiss on her lips and turned back to the stove. Leaning back on the work surface she swirled the wine in her glass, watching as it sloshed up the sides. She’d headed down to the cabin shortly after Jonas went to bed, claiming she had a headache and wanted to sleep it off. Though she’d felt a pang of discomfort at having to lie to Annie, she consoled herself that it was her night off, and if she wanted to go out on a date she could.
After dinner Adam built up the fire in the living area, hunkering down and placing the logs in a criss-cross pattern, fanning the flames until they began to lick up the chimney. Kitty sat back on the threadbare easy chair and watched the muscles flex beneath his flannel shirt, admiring the way his thighs thickened as he squatted down. There was a quietness to his strength that enticed her. He was at ease with his body, using it as another tool to make things work. She couldn’t help but wish he was as comfortable with his soul. Because as beautiful as his body was, that wasn’t the only thing that attracted her. Not the main thing, even. It was the way he smiled, that crooked half-curl that made her heart pound. It was how he answered her questions, thoughtfully and meaningfully, that caused her to lose her breath.
He’d cooked for her, cleaned up, and was making sure she was warm and comfortable. It made a change from all those evenings out at fancy LA restaurants with pretty-boy metrosexuals who used their iPhone calculator to split the bill. She smiled, imagining Adam’s furious response if she offered to go Dutch.
Maybe she’d have to try it some time. There was something delicious about the flashes of fury she sometimes saw behind his eyes.
The only problem was, there weren’t going to be any dates. There weren’t going to be any visits to restaurants or evenings at the movies. This was all they had. A few nights holed up in a cabin before they went their separate ways.
The thought made her chest hurt.
‘Would you like some more wine?’ Adam gestured at her empty glass. Kitty smiled, trying to swallow down her sadness, and held it out for him to top up. Filling his own, too, Adam lifted her, sitting in the chair and pulling her onto his lap.
He put his arm around her waist, and Kitty leaned her head back against his chest. They watched the fire dancing in the grate as they sipped the warm Merlot, and Kitty wondered if this was what happiness tasted like. It was simple, really. She didn’t want fancy restaurants or smart clubs, as much as she’d liked them before. Sitting there with Adam’s arm around her, the smell of the fire filling their senses, she couldn’t think of any place she’d rather be.
‘Will you stay with me tonight?’ He ran a finger along her thigh.
‘I don’t know…’ She wanted to, but she was afraid. Not of getting caught – though that would be bad enough – but of getting hurt. Every cell in her body was becoming addicted to his touch.
‘Stay,’ he murmured, wrapping his hand around her leg. ‘Just until morning. Let me make love to you and hold you all night.’
His suggestion set her on fire. There was nothing more she wanted than to be enveloped in his arms, letting him love her until they both cried out with pleasure.
Kitty closed her eyes, surrendering to the sensations assaulting her body. The sensuousness of his touch, the warm, smoky smell of the fire, and the taste of wine that lingered on her tongue. Was it possible to just live in the moment, let herself be free enough to enjoy what was left of her time wi
th Adam and not worry about the future?
She wasn’t sure, but the alternative – to leave now – felt too hard to contemplate. It struck her that the feeling she’d been searching for all her life was filling her up to the brim. Strange that she could discover it here, in this desolate snowy cabin, when she’d always thought she’d find it in LA.
‘I’ll stay,’ she whispered.
She would have said more, but Adam’s lips stole the words right out of her mouth.
Watching Kitty sleep was becoming his favourite pastime. Adam lay on his side, cheek resting on his palm, taking in her relaxed posture. She had a habit of frowning when she slept, in response to a dream, he imagined, and he wanted nothing more than to smooth the lines away. She was the one good thing that had happened to him in a long while, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to let her slip away.
The thought made him want to hit something. Anything.
‘Hey.’ Kitty cracked open half an eye. ‘What time is it?’
‘Still night-time. Go back to sleep.’ He stole a soft kiss. ‘I’ll wake you up when it’s morning.’
She snuggled into him, looping her arms around his neck. Her lips pressed against the soft dip at the bottom of his throat. ‘You should sleep, too.’
‘I can’t.’ He pressed his face to her head, her hair muffling his voice. ‘But that doesn’t mean we both need to suffer.’
Kitty’s voice was deep and slow, like a child waking up from an anaesthetic. ‘Why can’t you sleep?’
‘Never can. I manage four hours most night, five hours at a push.’ Adam glanced at the clock – it was nearly five a.m.
She stretched her arms above her head, her mouth opening into a yawn. ‘I can’t survive on less than seven, not on a regular basis.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘Though recently I’ve been missing some sleep.’
He laughed softly. ‘I noticed.’
It was strange watching Kitty wake up. Her body switched on a little at a time; eyes opening, arms stretching, legs unfurling and flexing. So different from the way Adam transitioned, his whole body flipping to alert as soon as sleep disappeared. Some of it came from his experiences abroad – sleeping in strange places, often having to avoid people who really didn’t want him making a documentary about them. But he’d always woken quickly, even as a child. Kitty’s cat-like stretches were an enticing difference.
‘Can I ask you something?’ she asked.
He blinked, staring at her. ‘Sure.’
‘What happened when you came back to LA this summer?’
His shields immediately went up. ‘What do you mean?’
Something in his tone must have alerted her to his discomfort. ‘I was just being nosy. Ignore me.’
He didn’t like the way she shrank back from his harshness. It was enough to make his stomach curl. ‘I’m sorry, I sounded wary. I just… it wasn’t a good time for me.’
She said nothing. Maybe she was afraid to put him on the defensive again. Either way Adam knew it was up to him to clear the way. To try and regain the gentle ease they’d had only moments before.
‘It’s old news,’ he told her. ‘I fell out with Everett over something, and we came to blows. The next thing I knew the blue lights arrived and I was being arrested for assault and battery.’
‘Didn’t Everett get arrested, too?’
Adam licked his lips They were dry as a bone. ‘He’s not quite as good at fighting as me. He definitely came off worse.’
‘What was the fight about?’ she asked him, her palm flat on his chest, over where his heart was beating. She looked up at him through those pretty blue eyes, her expression soft.
Adam thought back to that day, when he’d discovered everything Everett had done. The deceit, the backstabbing, the payments he’d made. It was as though a veil of red mist had descended, colouring everything he looked at. He hadn’t even planned to hit him the first time, but before he knew it, Everett was on the floor.
Christ, what a tangled web they’d both weaved.
‘He double-crossed me on something.’
She moved her hand in a circle on his skin, her fingers sliding tantalisingly close to his nipples. Weird how he could feel so on edge and so turned on at the same time. Only she could make him feel this way.
More alive than he’d ever felt, and completely afraid he’d never feel this way again.
‘We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.’
‘It’s not that I don’t want to,’ he told her. ‘It’s more that I’m trying to forget it. At least for the next few days. I promised my folks I’d come to Christmas lunch and let bygones be bygones. If I keep talking about this shit I’ll get all riled up again, and I don’t want that.’
‘Are you scared you’d hit him again?’
Adam shook his head. ‘I’m getting better at controlling my anger. That’s what my therapy’s been about.’ Or at least it was, until it had been hijacked by his feelings for Kitty. ‘It’s more that I want to be as genuine as possible. My folks have had a bad year, and part of it’s my fault. They deserve to have their family around them at Christmas, and I want to give it to them.’
‘And after Christmas?’ Kitty asked. ‘What will you do then? Will it be like that one-day armistice in the First World War when the soldiers all played football together, and then resumed fighting the next day?’
‘Honestly?’ Adam said. ‘I have no idea. I guess things will go back to the way they were. Everett will go back to LA, and I’ll stay here and finish up my therapy.’
‘And I’ll go back too…’
‘But you’re here now.’ Adam’s voice was thick. ‘And that’s what counts, right?’ He placed his hand over hers, moving her palm until it was brushing against his nipple. The sensation made him harder than hell. She could do that to him, arouse him at the simplest touch, until his body ached and needed her more than it needed air.
How the hell was he going to survive without her?
The morning light was streaming through the cabin shutters, making lines of white on the planked bedroom floor. Kitty stared at them, watching as they slowly moved towards the bed, playing a game of What’s the Time, Mr Wolf with them. It was almost seven, time to get up, to feed the puppy, to hurry back to the house before her absence was noted.
It was hard to shake off the feeling of anxiety that had lain on her ever since she’d seen that script in the library. Of knowing something Adam didn’t, of trying to find a way to tell him that didn’t make things worse. Of opening a Pandora’s box that threatened to engulf them all.
When she’d asked him about LA, she’d hoped somehow the conversation would lead to Everett, and she’d naturally be able to slip in questions about the script. But Adam had stonewalled her, using his body to make her forget anything that lingered in her mind, until all she could think about was him and what he did to her.
But what was her excuse now? Truthfully, she was afraid. No, it was worse than that, she was as frightened as hell that this little titbit of half-truth she was hiding from him could be the one piece of information to bring the whole house tumbling down.
Even worse, it was Christmas Eve, the day Jonas had been so looking forward to. What if she told Adam right now, and he stomped up to the house to have it out with Everett? Both of them could end up in the local police station, leaving Jonas and Adam’s parents devastated. Could she do that to them, today of all days?
No, she couldn’t. But she couldn’t hide this from him either. Not after everything they’d been through. Even if she left next week, and never saw him again, she owed Adam her loyalty and the gift of the truth.
From the living room, she could hear the dog padding around, snuffling at the bedroom door. Another moment or two and he’d be barking for them to let him out to do his business, and the day would begin.
Adam said he wanted to forget about it all until after Christmas was over. Maybe Kitty could do the same. They could get through the day, make Jonas happy by spending it all t
ogether, and then when it was all over she’d tell Adam about that script she’d found.
Right on cue, the barking started and the puppy pawed at the bedroom door, knowing they were inside. Adam sat straight up at the noise, blinking the sleep from his eyes, smiling when he saw her lying beside him.
‘Good morning.’ He gave her the biggest, brightest smile.
Yes, so much better to keep everything quiet for now.
26
We two alone will sing like birds i’ th’ cage
