Putting It to the Test
Page 17
“Carly, what on earth are you talking about?” Her mother’s eyes grew dark and concerned.
“Dad! Where do you think he is right now? Poor Jodi’s there in the dugout, praying her father will watch her bat, and where is he?”
“Honey, you’re confusing me.”
Carly’s chest heaved, her eyes blurred. “How could I be so stupid? I saw it right on his survey. He’s just like Dad. He’s exactly like Dad. I even thought that to myself when I sat in Bev’s den and read the survey. How could I have just slid that under the rug?”
Her mother grabbed her shoulders. “Carly, what are you talking about? What survey?”
She stopped and stared.
“Matt, Mom. He got the promotion and I’ve barely seen him since.” Saying it out loud released another wave of tears, and she clutched her mother and buried her face in her chest. “It’s just like Bev said. He was only using me to get the job.”
Her mother held her tight. “Oh, Carly. Is that what he said?”
“He doesn’t have to. It’s all playing out like I feared. He got my job, he got the big cushy office, and I’m left with nothing.”
“Now, wait a minute,” Carol said, holding her daughter close but nudging them toward a park bench. “You aren’t making sense. Sit down and tell me what happened.”
Carly did, starting with the survey and going from there. She told her about the management job opening and how she and Matt had both been in the running, about their agreement to work together and even the loving time they’d spent in each other’s arms. And then she detailed the events of the last week, how he’d been planning to meet her family, how excited Jodi had been about meeting a real baseball player and how it all fell apart the moment he got the job.
And when she was done she felt tired and spent, as if a lifetime of dreams and failures had just played out in front of her.
“I think you need to have a little more patience,” her mother said. “It’s like you said—he just got promoted. It’s a stressful time for him and he needs to focus on that. It doesn’t mean he’s stopped caring for you.”
Of course her mother would think that. Carol Abrams was faithful to a fault, their whole family suffering because of her staunch belief in the good of human nature.
Carly had always sworn she’d never be so foolish, and in a way she felt compelled to do the opposite of whatever advice her mom tried to dole out, wanting to make sure she didn’t end up in the same place twenty-six years from now.
“Why do you do it, Mom?” she asked. “Doesn’t it ever cross your mind Dad’s cheating on you?”
“I have to have faith in our vows, Carly. Without that, a marriage is nothing.”
“Mom, don’t be stupid.”
Her mother held up a hand the same way she always did when Carly went down this path, but this time Carly saw things differently. She’d had a taste of a man like her father, and as exciting as Matt was, as thrilling as he’d been to be with, she could never play second fiddle in his life the way her mother did in her dad’s.
“I know he’s not the father you wanted.”
“Is he the husband you wanted?” she asked.
Carol cocked a crooked smile. “I don’t have a choice. I fell in love with him and I’ve never fallen out. Besides,” she said, staring off toward the football field in the distance, “I knew what I was getting into when I married him.”
“He’s always been like this?”
“He could never settle down. And all I have to do is say the word and he would take me with him wherever he went. But I didn’t want that for you and Jodi.” She eyed her daughter, for the first time explaining this strange relationship of hers. “It’s my choice to stay here in one place, not his. If I said so, we’d all be living as a family and probably much better off without the added expense of maintaining two households. But your father’s not going to change, and I never wanted you girls to have to move around along with him. So this is the compromise we made.”
It shed some light on the situation but did little to help Carly’s opinion of him. “And he couldn’t make sacrifices to keep us together as a family? Would it really kill the guy to make a living in one place for a while?”
Carol bit her lip and darted her eyes. “It’s like I said, Carly. I knew what I was getting into when I married him.”
Carly looked across the large grassy field where dozens of little boys in oversize shoulder pads were getting ready for Pop Warner football. And as she watched she realized she’d been given the same view of Matt. She’d read his survey, she’d known exactly who she was dealing with and what she was getting into. The survey hadn’t lied and neither had he. She’d simply been her mother’s child, the fool in love who’d turned her back to the grim reality and hoped somewhere it would have all played out differently.
But it hadn’t. Life turned out exactly as she should have expected all those weeks ago, and it was silly, really, to be sitting here shocked and dismayed in the aftermath.
It wouldn’t have taken a psychic to figure out that Matt was destined to walk away with the job and she was destined to end up with nothing. And as she sat here in the sisterhood of another woman who’d lost her heart to the wrong man, Carly went back to the promise she’d made to herself years ago.
Love or not in love, she wasn’t going to end up like her mother.
17
MATT WALKED INTO the Dugout only three minutes late, having had to duck out of the office in order to keep his meeting with Tommy, the boy he’d been helping with batting lessons. After the golf game Saturday, Hall had pulled him along for the weekend, entertaining prospective clients and keeping Matt at his side until late last night. He’d wanted to meet up with Carly, try to make things right between them, but every chance he’d had to call her she’d cut him off short.
And this morning seeing her in person hadn’t gone much better.
Truth was, she was pulling away from him, creating a valley between them he couldn’t seem to cross, and with every moment that passed more and more he feared he might not get her back again.
That was one problem he’d been dealing with, the second being keeping up with Hall’s new schedule without letting down his new student. He’d literally run from the office, disregarding an electronic calendar invite for yet another meeting in order to keep this lesson with Tommy. Job or no job, Matt wasn’t going to let the kid down.
He rushed up the old wood stairs to the cages and pro shop, expecting to see Tommy sitting at their favorite table next to the Gatorade machine, but the table was empty.
Stu’s daughter, Patsy, called from behind the counter. “Tommy had to cancel. Orthodontist appointment. Didn’t you get the message?”
Matt’s shoulders slumped. “No, I haven’t had a chance to check my messages today.”
Patsy smiled apologetically. “Yeah, well, he said he’d see you next week at the regular time.”
Matt slipped into a chair and ran a hand over his face. He wanted to catch his breath after the mad rush here and decided, as a consolation, he had an hour to kill before returning to the chaos Hall had been keeping him in.
“Dad’s in the cages if you want to say hi,” Patsy said. “He’s recalibrating machine number three.”
Stu could spend his life recalibrating that machine and those balls would still threaten to take a guy’s head off. Someday Matt was going to buy Stu some new machines.
Stepping down the aisle of cages, he popped into the third one, being careful to stay near the fence as he made his way toward the machine. When Stu worked on the machines, one never knew when a random ball would come flying out like a fat rubber bullet. He grabbed a metal folding chair on his way and took a seat next to Stu’s feet—the only part of him visible from behind the machine.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Stu said, and Matt wondered if Stu even knew it was him. “Hand me the three-sixteenths.”
A greasy hand popped out in waiting, and Matt looked down to the red metal tool
box at their feet. He reached in, assuming a three-sixteenths was one of these wrenches, each one an exact replica of the other. He began sorting through them, looking for some sort of sign, when he heard Stu’s impatient huff. “The one with the white paint splatter.”
Matt held it up like an Olympic torch, then placed it in Stu’s waiting hand, and within seconds a fastball went shooting out of the machine with enough speed to split an atom.
“You might want to slow it down,” Matt droned.
The next ball thumped out and hit the ground three feet from the machine, rolling lazily to the center thanks to the slant in the floor.
“Somewhere in between would be my suggestion.”
The three-sixteenths went flying end over end, and Matt ducked.
“Dang blasted machine!” Stu called out.
“Someday I’m buying you a new one.”
Scooting out from behind the equipment, Stu hung an Out of Order sign on the front and turned to Matt. “With that new fancy job of yours, I just might let you.” They gathered up the tools, then headed back to Stu’s office, Matt stopping for his customary Dr Pepper before taking a seat in front of Stu’s old metal desk circa 1943.
“How is that new job of yours, by the way?” Stu asked.
“Busier than I expected. My sessions with Tommy have been the only chance I’ve had to get away from the job in over a week.”
Stu stepped into the small bathroom off the side of his office and turned the tap on the sink. “Well, I’m sure your boss wants to get his money’s worth, what with the big pay increase.”
Matt propped his feet on a spare chair. “Yeah, and I wouldn’t mind so much if it wasn’t putting such a strain on me and Carly.”
“Ah, well, the easy part’s falling in love. The hard part’s making it work over the long haul.” Stu grabbed a bar of soap and began lathering his hands.
“She doesn’t understand what this job is like,” Matt said over the rush of the running water. “She thinks I’m giving her the brush-off, but I’m not. Hall’s been running me ragged and I haven’t had a moment to spend with her.”
“Yeah?” Stu used his elbow to shut off the tap while he worked the foam over his fingers and nails. “Funny, you haven’t missed your sessions with Tommy.”
“Stu, you know I’m not going to let the kid down. As it was I had to dodge a meeting this afternoon to get here. I didn’t even stop to check my voice mails today to find out he’d gone and canceled on me.”
“And as busy as you are, you still showed up. Somehow you made the time.”
“You know why I won’t let him down.” Stu had known Matt long enough to know he’d move mountains before he canceled out on a session with a young kid. Matt had been there too many times, had known how demeaning it felt being passed over by people who were supposed to be there for him.
“So why can’t you make the time with Carly?”
Matt opened his mouth to answer, then suddenly found he didn’t have one.
Stu peeked through the open door. “Seems to me you’ve gotten some of your priorities straight. You’re willing to put a kid you barely know ahead of your job, which is an admirable thing. Now where’s your priorities when it comes to this woman you seem to care so much about?”
When Matt didn’t answer, Stu flicked on the faucet and rinsed his hands, then grabbed a towel and stepped into the office. “You know, Matt, we don’t always have to make a choice between a rock and a hard place, but we should know which one we’d pick if we had to.” He took a seat behind his desk and tossed the paper towel in the trash. “If you had to choose between your new job or your new girl, do you know which one you’d take?”
It was a good question, one Matt continued to turn over as he finished his drink and wrapped up his visit with Stu.
As he headed back to the office he knew Stu had been right. Matt had managed to make time for Tommy despite the frantic schedule Hall had him on, yet he hadn’t made it as high a priority to set aside time for Carly. He’d just figured Carly was an adult and should understand, while Tom was a kid who wouldn’t.
Or was he merely making an excuse for himself?
Maybe a side of him hadn’t wanted to press things with Carly because he’d been afraid of the response he’d get. He knew she wasn’t happy with him. He could see that in her eyes, hear it in her tone and feel it under his skin. As much as both of them tried to deny it, she’d felt he’d used her, and he simply couldn’t find the words that would prove to her he hadn’t.
Stepping back in the office, he was grateful to discover that Hall was tied up in meetings, giving Matt some badly needed time to sit down and pull his thoughts together. Somehow he had to find a way to let her know that he loved her, and not just because of what she’d done for him on the job. He had to make her understand he would have loved her even if he hadn’t gotten the promotion. But how could he do that now that the deed was done?
“I found this in the back of your desk drawer. Do you need it?”
He looked up and saw Melissa Avery, the programmer who’d moved into his old cubicle. Reaching out, he took the notebook in her hand. “Sure, thanks,” he said as she walked out the door.
It was the leather-bound notepad he thought he’d lost, and, opening the cover, he saw his Singles Inc. code name and password he’d jotted down all those weeks ago. The last time he’d used this was during the meeting with Hall on the project.
The project that started this mess.
He moved to rip the page from the pad, when something hit him, and instead of throwing the paper away, he turned to his laptop and logged into the site, curious to see if their survey results were still in the database. Sure enough, once he keyed in his user information his results popped up before him, and he began looking over the answers.
And before he got halfway through he saw his problems clearly before him.
He didn’t recognize the cynical man behind all these answers. He’d come so far in the last few weeks, looking at his life differently, seeing the world through Carly’s eyes and through the light she’d brought to his. No wonder he’d scored so low with everyone in the group. This survey painted him as a regular ass.
And in all honesty, back when he’d filled it out, that’s exactly what he was.
Cynical, self-absorbed, egotistical. Answer after answer drew a picture of a man who cared only about himself. To the point where he hadn’t been concerned enough to answer the questions with any sincerity. Admittedly, most of this didn’t even reflect the man he’d been at the time. He’d been annoyed back then, feeling the survey was a stupid gimmick Hall had concocted, and many of his responses spoke to that state of mind.
He’d scoffed at much of it and toyed with the rest, only the part about sex being the section he’d given care to—and even then only because he’d found the questions amusing.
Shaking his head, he sighed. No wonder Carly had been so quick to brush him off in those early days of the project. Given this image of him, he wondered how she’d even built up enough trust to get along with him.
And then he stared at the screen as that last thought struck him like a slap in the face.
This damned survey. Carly had read his answers, and despite what she’d seen, she’d placed her trust with him anyway. And what she got was passed over for a promotion by a man this survey painted as a selfish, arrogant child.
He fell back against the chair and stared at the screen. This wasn’t him, but he’d bet this was the man Carly feared she’d grown to care for. And since his promotion he’d done nothing to prove otherwise.
He rubbed his face in his hands as this all became so clear in front of him. He needed to show her this wasn’t him, and, as his unconscious kept trying to tell him, he wouldn’t be able to show her with words. He had to truly convince her she hadn’t gone wrong by trusting him. She’d supported him when he’d needed it most, helped him fulfill his dream, and now it was his turn to repay her and set things right.
Stuck
between a rock and a hard place. That was damn straight. But with Stu’s words still echoing through his mind, he knew there was only one choice to make.
BRAYTON HALL SAT behind his desk, his hands folded on the tabletop, his eyes focused intently on Matt and Carly.
Since calling this meeting an hour ago, he’d refused to tell Carly what it was about, but based on the confident gleam in Matt’s eyes, she suspected he knew something. He looked like the cat that caught the canary, entirely smug, as if he were bursting with good news, which left her entirely confused. If her conversation with Mr. Hall this morning had made it to his ears, she would have hoped for something different.
For what seemed like an exasperatingly long moment Brayton only sat and stared at the two of them, not saying anything, until he finally cleared his throat and began.
“Now that I’ve managed to get the two of you together,” he said, “let me start off this meeting by informing you that neither of you is quitting.”
Her eyes collided with Matt’s. “You quit!” they said in unison.
“Technically, Matt stepped down from his new position,” Brayton said. “But I’m not letting that happen, either.”
Carly gaped at Matt, who returned her expression with mirrored confusion.
“Apparently, Matt thinks if he steps down from the job, I’ll promote you in his place,” Brayton explained.
Carly inhaled a breath, and Matt reached out to take her hand, his eyes speaking a million words he couldn’t say in front of Mr. Hall. And Carly didn’t need to hear them. She knew what he’d done, and as it began to sink in, a rush of tears threatened to surface in front of the boss.
Or the ex-boss.
She’d already given her resignation. Having made the painful decision that she had to look out for herself and put distance between her and this man who was wrong for her in every way—or the man she’d thought was wrong.
Oh, boy. If there was an award to hand out for the world’s biggest fool, she’d be receiving the honor right now. Never in a million years would she have expected Matt to make a sacrifice like this for her, and now that he had, she felt ashamed for not giving him more credit.