Blue Autumn in the Bayou (Gumbo Love)

by Clay, Ann

  Travis sat up straight when he saw the struggle in her expression. He waited patiently to hear what she had to say. Whatever it was, he would support her. “You have my undivided attention.” When she didn’t respond right away, he stood up, walked around the table and pulled her from her chair. He led her to the box seat in the bay window. “Take all the time you need.”

  Autumn admired his patience. The gentle way he touched and held her to put her at ease. His actions didn’t match this playboy image he tried so desperately to showcase. She took a calming breath before she began. “Where I grew up there were very few African-American families. Most of them were born and raised on Grand Isle. Reggie’s family was the only transplant when her father’s job transferred him to the island. They lived there for about three years. The few of us on the Isle were like one big family. We tried to look out for one another. The one school housed all the grades; so the few school-age black kids on the island blended very well, sort of like cousins, only we weren’t blood related.”

  She paused and looked out the window at the flickering lights off the lake behind Travis’s house. It reminded her of the water along the beach at home. She turned back to Travis when he touched her arm. “There weren’t many black boys to date, so most of the young women left the island to go away for school, to find work, or to find a husband. Rarely did any of them come back, at least not my generation.” She picked up her story. “I was very shy and withdrawn, mostly because of how people treated me and my family. I was especially withdrawn when tourists came to the island, and when we went to the mainland to shop, or visit my father’s relatives. I became this peep show. The children thought I was possessed or something crazy like that. People can be really cruel, especially to children.” She paused again, recalling the painful moments of her childhood.

  “Something about dancing helped me get past all of that. Reggie coming when she did, was a godsend. Dancing made me look and feel differently about myself. Others saw it too; which leads to the story of how I met Paul.” She looked at him and took yet another long breath.

  Travis sat as still as he could. He couldn’t quite understand where she was going with her story, so he waited patiently. He resisted the scowl that would normally take residence on his face when he felt frustrated or anxious.

  Autumn continued with revealing her story because in order to move forward she had to pull off all the covers. “I’d never dated before, let alone have a boyfriend. Mona was the only one dating in our circle. The summer before my senior year, I met Paul. He’d come to the island two years before to live with his grandparents. His parents had kicked him out. He was a very troubled guy. And when he started dating a black girl,” she held her fingers up to signify quotation marks, “most of the islanders thought it was a continuation of his rebelliousness.” Autumn told him the saga of her senior year from hell. And her last comment was what stumped Travis. “He committed suicide the night of our senior class graduation.”

  Autumn pulled away when Travis picked up her hand and tried to pull her into his lap. She moved to the patio door where she stood a moment, before she felt him behind her. She just knew he would try to touch her again, so she braced herself for it, but he didn’t. Instead he whispered down to her. “Autumn, Paul had troubles that had nothing to do with you.”

  “You don’t understand,” she defended. “Every woman in my family has had bad luck with men. For years, people whispered that we were cursed.”

  “Autumn I don’t know much about your family; only what you’ve told me. What would make you think this? You fell for a guy that had issues before you met him. I hardly think that has anything to do with you or anyone in your family.”

  “It started with my grandmother, Mer Drace. Something happened, not even she knows exactly what. And every woman in our family after her seems to have fallen to the same fate.”

  “Really, Autumn. Do you believe in that kind of stuff?”

  She looked at him just when Travis frowned. The gesture caused her some frustration because she obviously wasn’t making her point clear. “I’m telling you there has to be something.” She looked away and then turned back quickly. “I don’t believe it’s a curse, but I know that people have treated me differently my entire life. Whenever I try to get close to someone, something happens. That frightens the hell of me.”

  Travis did touch her this time and she didn’t pull away. “What?” He looked at Autumn like suddenly, she was a stranger. He knew very little about her, but at that moment she didn’t even sound like the beautiful, educated, successful young woman he’d met three weeks before. Her talk baffled him.

  “My family.”

  Travis’s confusion and frustration increased. He had no idea what she was talking about.

  “You know that I wear color contacts.”

  “Yes, you told me, but I don’t see or understand what that has to do with this. Did I miss something? Are you hiding from someone?”

  Autumn moved again. Now she was even more frustrated. Perhaps she did a poor job of explaining things. “Do you know what a quadroon is?”

  He frowned. “Yes. It’s a person of mixed heritage. We all fall in that category, especially in this part of the country, Autumn.”

  “Where I come from, this kind of relationship was damned. Particularly during my grandmother’s time, there was a stigma attached to that connotation. We were treated harshly, sometimes by the people in the community who resented that we were there.”

  “I can understand how being treated differently could have a lasting effect on you and your family.”

  “I don’t think anyone understood, especially the people who thought they had a right to mistreat us, or think that it was justifiable.” Still seeing the confused expression on Travis’s face, her mind churned. She searched desperately for a way to explain how painful it was to be taunted on a daily basis.

  Called names and talked about to her face had bruised her self-worth as a child, even when Mer Drace constantly reminded her that she was destined to do bigger things. It was then that she reached up and removed one contact, and placed it in the palm of her hand, and then took out the other before she looked up.

  CHAPTER 18

  Travis stilled. A sudden chill spiked straight up his spine when he gazed into stark blue eyes. For a long moment, the knot that had welled up in his throat didn’t move. His words lodged there, struggling to move forward. His heart rammed against his chest, and for that moment, he remained speechless. As he watched her remove the contacts he didn’t quite understand how that would explain anything she said.

  Only after she lowered her gaze, he moved. Slowly he reached for her; still too stunned to utter a single word. He cradled her face in his trembling hand and stared down at her. Tears sipped down the corners of her eyes. His blunt fingers dabbed at each one that fell.

  “Oh, my God, Autumn.” He found his voice. What could he say to her to let her know that everything bad said about her was a lie? He struggled to find the words to let her know that although he didn’t quite understand the stigma she lived with all these years, that despite what people told her all her life, she was an amazingly beautiful woman both inside and out. He said the only thing his heart would let him at a time like this. “I love you. I love you, Autumn. Nothing else in this world matters. And I will protect you, I promise”

  Autumn collapsed against him. He whispered down into her hair. “I have no idea why you’re hiding, Autumn, but I am telling you I don’t see shame at all. I see a very beautiful and caring woman.”

  “I am the spitting image of my grandmother. For a long time it was hard for the islanders to see me, and not remember what happened the night she was conceived. Her mother, my great-grandmother was fourteen, raped by men who thought that it was right to treat her that way.” She looked up into his concerned face before continuing.

  “Mer Drace took a husband because she needed a protector; otherwise her fate would have been like her mother’s. Demarcus didn’t
know anything about what happened on the island before he moved there and wedded my grandmother. He loved her unconditionally and didn’t like the way people treated her. At some point, she left but then came back. Not much has changed, and like her, I got tired of the attention my looks garnered. If it hadn’t been for my father and my brother, I’m not sure how things would have turned out.”

  Travis listened to her patiently, and in return, offered her as much comfort as he could. He decided to change the subject, to lighten the mood. Her tears disturbed him. He led her back to the bench where they talked, reminiscing about the crazy wedding, remembering how wonderful it turned out. “The tribute was very touching. Was that your idea?”

  “I wish I can take credit, but I can’t. Reggie had already choreographed the piece. I helped with the last couple of rehearsals. She wanted it to be special and I think it was a hit.” Her eyes lit up when she talked about the dancers.

  He understood why people were mesmerized by her exotic looks. Still, he wanted her to feel comfortable with him, and know she could really trust him. So he refrained from staring at her in awe. “It was wonderful. It’s just like Reggie to do something like that. Thank you for your part in it all.” He brushed his hand down her arm.

  “Like I said, I didn’t do much; but you’re welcome. I’m glad I was here to share it with you, your family, and friends.”

  He stood, bringing her up with him. She let her arms fall to his chest; her hands held the discarded contacts. Travis held out his hands, and without a fuss, she dropped them into his open palm. He stepped toward the trashcan and released the lid before discarding them. “You don’t need these any more, Autumn. I like this look, and you should too. You’re beautiful, confident, so don’t let people dictate who you are. You’re in control of what you think, and what you want in this life.”

  “I know.”

  “Come.” He led her to the huge sofa in the entertainment room. “I want to share something with you that I’ve never told anyone else before. Not even my brothers.” He felt the need to reveal something about himself to Autumn, to show her that he trusted her as much as she’d trusted him with her truth.

  After a heart-to-heart talk for almost two hours about every subject they could think of, they both fell asleep in each other’s embrace. He stirred first and looked down at her. For the longest time, Travis held her without uttering a word. The symphony of their heartbeats in concert with the humming of their breathing comforted them both.

  Travis sensed a mood change in Autumn; the demons that had haunted her all those years seemed to be gone. For him, he saw her past as an important step for them, and planned to be there for her even if she decided to stay in New York. He glanced at the clock above the mantel and groaned. In hours, she would be on a plane headed home. He didn’t want to release her, nor was he ready to see her leave. He hugged her close. “I’ll take you back to Reggie’s house to get your things. What time is your flight?”

  Autumn’s tearstained face moved up to his. She kissed him on one side of his mouth, and then the other without responding to his question. She then trailed kisses up the side of his chin, up to his ear, and then kissed both eyelids before capturing his bottom lip.

  Travis, with painstaking control let her have her way until he couldn’t stand it any longer. He groaned into her mouth as he took control of the kiss. One hand cupped her face while the other explored the planes of her back. He used every ounce of energy in his aching body to return the passion she lit in him.

  “You won’t make it home or anyplace else Autumn if we continue this probing.” He tore away from her lips and glared at her. “I’m giving you fair warning.”

  Autumn lost words to explain how Travis made her lose restraint. He made her forget; made her want to forget the promise to save herself for the man she married. Not because her mother told her she should, but because she really did want to preserve that right for the man who pledged his life to her. She still felt strongly about it, but she also believed that finding a soul mate was a once in a lifetime occurrence. Something about Travis called to her soul. They connected instantly, and she wanted to hang on to it. “You wouldn’t take advantage of me, would you, Travis?” she concentrated on his kiss-swollen lips.

  “Never, I promise. I meant it, Autumn. I love you, and I would do anything to protect you.” He lifted her chin with the tip of his finger.

  “I lose myself when I’m with you” she confessed.

  Travis’s saucy grin fell into place. “You’re going to make my head swell.” He kissed her briefly but pulled way before she could respond. “And, cold showers have become my daily routine.”

  “You mean your head gets bigger than it already is?”

  “Funny, you got jokes now, right? What if I kiss you again? This time until you strip off every piece of clothing, and then I continue until you scream my name.”

  “Okay, so now you’re a bully.” She raised her eyes to him once more.

  “With you, right now, here like this, yes. If I thought it would keep you here, I would.”

  “I have to go back.”

  “I know.” With that, he released her. “Your flight is at…”

  “Two. My things are all packed. I just have to pick them up at the apartment.”

  “I’ll help you.”

  * * * *

  When Travis put the last bag in the trunk of his car he walked around and met Autumn at the driver’s side of her rental car. “I’ll follow you.”

  She nodded and accepted his kiss. Turning in the rental took a few minutes. He dropped her off at the curbside checkpoint before he parked in the garage. Autumn waited for him inside Louis Armstrong International Airport.

  She stood from the bench when she saw him enter the lobby. “How much time do we have before you need to be at your gate?”

  “If the line stays like this, I guess we have about an hour.”

  Travis took her hand and led them to a more secluded area. He didn’t expect to be so distracted and so unnerved by this whole situation. Something about Autumn got into in his blood. She managed, in three weeks, to get into places he kept hidden from women since he could remember. He took a long breath and blew the air out through his mouth. “Did I tell you I don’t want you to leave?”

  “Did I tell you it was hard to leave, but I have to?”

  “Yes.” He moved his face closer to hers.

  “Yes.” She moved forward and sealed the kiss.

  “Your kisses are very addicting.”

  “You just want more of my kisses, man. You don’t fool me.”

  “You’re right. I want more. I can kiss you until the end of time.”

  “That’s a very long time.” She continued to place small kisses on his lips.

  “It’s not long enough.”

  They cuddled and talked, oblivious of the people passing, deaf to the loud announcements that blared throughout the airport. As the time grew near for Autumn’s departure, Travis grew anxious. “I want you to call me as soon as you land.” He held her hands to his lips.

  “I will.” She hugged him and dropped her head onto his chest. “I miss you already.” She tightened her hold around his waist.

  “And I miss you. Do you mind if I come up to see you?”

  “I would love that. Anytime you’re ready.”

  “I’ll let you know when I make my plans.”

  “I’m not scheduled to do any tours until spring. Our next two seasons will be in New York.”

  “Okay.” He gazed down into her upturned face. “Have a safe flight.”

  “Thank you. I will.”

  Travis gathered her closer, lowered his mouth and savored her lips for a few minutes before he released her totally. Hand in hand, he walked her to the roped-off area, and hugged her one last time. “Take care.”

  Autumn walked away without responding. When she handed the TSA her boarding pass and ID she looked back at Travis. Autumn was so preoccupied with him that she forgot she’d taken
out her contact lenses and got a few admiring looks from men standing in line with her. She ignored them and kept her gaze glued to Travis until she passed through the metal detectors and was no longer in his line of sight.

  * * * *

  Tears stung like bees. The last time she felt this bad was when she left Louisiana the first time headed to New York. Tempest watched her go through the very same gates. She stopped at the first restroom through security to refresh her tearstained face. She took one last look at her boarding pass and headed to her gate. She was on the waiting list for an upgrade, and wouldn’t know if she actually got her request until she got to her gate.

  * * * *

  Savannah untangled her long-limbed legs from an awkward cross, and sat straight up in the fiberglass chair. She turned and extended her neck as she watched the woman with the elegant posture pass her gate. She walked upright with her head high in the air. Savannah immediately recognized her as the woman she saw entangled in Travis’s arms the day before at the church. So, she stood, grabbed her two pieces of lightweight luggage, and followed her past several gates.

  Savannah increased her pace to catch up with the woman. She weaved around several pedestrians going in the opposite direction. The woman walked up to the ticket counter and spoke to the agent behind the desk. Savannah slowed her steps and eventually stopped just outside the gate area. She watched as the man, bewitched by her, rapidly typed on the keyboard in front of him. He paused, and then reached down to retrieve a boarding pass, and handed it to her. The woman said something, and the agent’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. And then she turned.

  Savannah didn’t know what to expect when she followed this woman. By impulse, she knew she had to do something. She had too much riding on Travis and wasn’t ready to give up just yet. But when the woman turned around and faced her, Savannah froze. The blue gaze caught her totally by surprise.