In a Daze

by Jin (Shizen no Teki-P)

  “What is he thinking…?”

  My house could very well be within their bomb range. If my mother or my little sister was back home right now, no way they could escape the blast.

  “Damn…This has got to stop.”

  I could feel myself growing increasingly unable to contain my bubbling frustration.

  The cat-eyed man spoke to me, as if he saw this coming.

  “Stay cool. This’ll be just a little bit longer, so stay cool.”

  I couldn’t take his laid-back idiocy anymore.

  “…Why are you so goddamn relaxed?! My family might die in a few minutes!”

  I had screamed at the top of my lungs. The entire floor fell completely silent. Even the men guarding us looked bewildered for a moment.

  The cat-eyed man made an “oh dear, now you’ve done it” face for a moment, but still didn’t look particularly disturbed.

  The stubble-bearded man turned his sharp gaze toward me. Then he started walking my way.

  When he reached me, he stooped down and brought his face close to mine.

  “Who the hell do you think you are?”

  The moment he spoke, visions of all the man’s previous violent behavior flashed across my eyes.

  My body was filled with a kind of fear that was completely alien to me. I began to shiver convulsively.

  “Hey, what’re you shaking for? Where’d all that macho BS go, huh?”

  Smirking, he took me by the hair and pulled me up.

  “All skin and bones, aren’t you…? I bet you don’t even go outside at all. A wimpy little shut-in puss like you, nobody’s gonna miss you when you’re dead! Huh? Will they?!”

  The man erupted in a burst of laughter, then turned to speak with his crew.

  His loud voice literally rang in my mind.

  …Good thing I only had to listen to him at full blast with one of my ears.

  “…for life…”

  “Huh? You say something? Speak up. I can’t hear you.”

  I looked him in the eye as I tried to articulate as much as possible.

  “I hope all you bastards get shut into a jail cell for life!”

  “Ooh! Nice! That was a good one!”

  The moment after my would-be critic stopped talking, a large television hanging just behind the man fell to the ground with a tremendous crash. It was so sudden that everyone instantly turned toward the sound.

  After that, the oversized speakers beneath it began toppling over, one after the other, even though nothing had even touched them.

  “Whoa! What the hell…?!”

  The stubble-bearded man tossed me away like a rag and walked toward the mess, gun in hand.

  “There somebody in—?!”

  Before he could finish, the shelf adjacent to the man suddenly tipped over, the merchandise it was holding falling on him in an avalanche.

  “Ngh! Whoa!”

  Beyond the fallen shelf, I could see the computer department I’d been holed up in when this all began.

  I had no idea why all of this was happening so suddenly, but this had to be my “chance.”

  A moment later, all the tension drained from my body.

  “Off you go. Looking forward to it!”

  I turned to the cat-eyed man next to me. He was waving a hand at me, smiling. Somehow we were both unbound.

  My heart pulsed louder than ever before on that day.

  Even louder than when the siren jarred me awake that morning.

  I placed a hand on the floor and nimbly pushed myself up to my feet in a single motion.

  The gun-toting terrorists were completely taken aback, unable to follow what was going on. I could commiserate. I didn’t really understand what I was doing, either.

  —But I knew what I had to accomplish.

  I jumped over to the mound of merchandise covering the stubble-bearded man, used him as a springboard to make sure he stayed there, and leaped for the computer display beyond.

  The other men finally reacted, turning their guns toward me.

  I could hear screaming and “Look out!” from the group of hostages.

  But all these reactions were too late. The target of my mission was right in front of me.

  Before my final leap, I gripped the phone I had taken out of my pocket and, for the first time in what seemed like ages, called for her.

  “Ene…Do it!”

  “Once I’m done, we’re going to the amusement park, okay?!”

  Through the earbud in my right ear, I heard the young girl’s voice, perky as always.

  I had taken the phone in the display demonstrating the computer-cell phone connector cable and replaced it with my own. In the blink of an eye, I could see a familiar form suddenly occupying every display in the room.

  As I saw it unfold, my stomach was suddenly racked by a force I had never experienced before.

  A force like someone driving a hammer into my torso.

  Then, the world faded out of focus.

  I crumpled to the ground, unable to cushion my fall. My unprotected face hit the white tiled floor.

  I could feel all the strength rapidly drain from my entire body.

  As my consciousness ebbed, I could hear all the shutters open up at once.

  My body was bathed in warm sunlight.

  It reminded me of sitting in my desk by the classroom window, napping. I swore I could hear a certain voice from the past talking to me.

  …How long was I out? I woke to find myself lying in bed within a book-filled room. I looked over to find a sink and a towel. Someone must have been taking care of me. My mind was still hazy as I felt around my pocket, but my cell phone was nowhere to be found.

  —Back there. When we were taken hostage.

  Through the earbud that I had kept in my ear, Ene had never stopped talking to me.

  To be honest, I think she was annoying me far more than that stubble-bearded guy.

  Right after they rounded me up, she was functioning as a sort of off-kilter cheerleader, along the lines of “Ooooh, this isn’t good. Better keep yourself cool, master! I know we can survive this!” But by the second half, when the stubble-bearded man was bearing down on me, she had transformed into a white-hot ball of rage: “Can we kill this guy, master? Can we?! We can, right?!”

  The entire building was under computer control. As long as I could get Ene into the system, it didn’t matter who occupied the control room. It was obvious that no hacker could have outwitted her.

  But amid the hostages, unable to use the camera or talk to me directly, it was really a shock how she could figure out what was going on strictly by audio cues and occupy the whole system in milliseconds. I always thought her head was a little buggy, but I guess she had it more together than I ever knew.

  In a way, I suppose, I’m still alive right now thanks to Ene.

  I was still a little foggy on the details, but I guess I should thank her…I never got to take her to the amusement park, either…

  But if my phone isn’t here, did I leave it in the store? I’m sure she could easily find her way back out, but…

  For now, however, I had best take advantage of this time I suddenly seem to have all to myself.

  Today I think I’ll just sleep all day and—

  “…Where the hell am I?!”

  I shot up in bed and tried to gauge my surroundings.

  “Ah…!”

  I heard a clang, and then I saw her. A girl with long, white, fluffy hair. Was she my nurse or whatever here? Apparently startled by my sudden outburst, she had fallen out of her chair.

  “Oh. Uh…um.”

  “Ah! I-I-I’m sorry!”

  For some reason, she apologized to me. Then, for some other reason, she hid behind the chair.

  Once my head cooled down and I had a grip of the situation, I noticed that my body was almost entirely pain-free.

  I seemed to remember being shot in the stomach…

  “Um…Could I ask who you—”

  “Master, you�
��re awake?!”

  The moment I tried to speak to her, I heard an incredibly familiar voice. What was less familiar were the three figures that walked through the open door.

  There I saw the cat-eyed man, the guy from the entrance with the purple coat—at the time I’d been sure he was a guy, but upon closer examination she was definitely female—and Momo, my younger sister, holding my cell phone.

  “Oh, master! I’m so glad to see you in good shape! Now we can all go to the amusement park together!”

  Ene, bubbly as always, called to me from the phone speaker.

  “Huh…? Momo? And you? That guy from…Huh?”

  “Ugh, you are so stupid, bro! I was so worried about you! And, Ene, you really can’t expect us to hit the roller coaster after a day like that…”

  Momo and Ene had apparently gotten acquainted with each other. They already sounded like good friends.

  “Um…huh? I guess I wouldn’t mind going, but…Well, first off, what am I—”

  “See? See?! Oh, master, what a rough-and-tough movie hero you are! A real man always sticks to his word! Let’s go! Right now! C’mon!”

  “Hang on, what?” the cat-eyed man chimed in. “People are going to the amusement park? Like, count me in, too! Let’s do it!”

  “W-we’re going out again…?”

  The white-haired girl, still sitting on the floor, seemed startled by the concept.

  “Uh…yeah. Sorry for all the commotion. Luckily that shot only grazed you, so we decided to bring you back here for now. Didn’t want to attract too much attention to ourselves.”

  “W…what?”

  The hooded woman seemed different from before. Especially those eyes.

  “Master! We gotta hurry! The park’s gonna close!”

  There were too many conversations chaotically flying around at once. My brain was over capacity. I decided to stop thinking for a bit.

  “Just…whatever.”

  No rest for the wicked, I suppose. Never should have expected any.

  I was hoping they would let me be for just a little bit longer, but Ene’s pleading high-pitched voice refused to allow me even that.

  I think I probably let a vague kind of half smile cross my lips.

  —The cacophony of cicadas buzzed beyond the window, just as loud today.

  A long, long August 15th was just about to begin.

  KAGEROU DAZE II

  I had a terrible, hateful dream. A dream where you went away, right before my eyes.

  I had it time, and time, and time again.

  I had it yesterday. I saw everything.

  How many times will I have seen it today?

  How many times does yesterday make?

  How many times have we talked to each other in this park?

  It’s the first time for you, maybe, but I lost count long ago.

  I remember talking to you about this before.

  Many times before.

  And you always believed in me.

  You were always so seriously concerned.

  But every time, you always die in the end.

  When I bring up this topic with you, you get worried for me. You get sad.

  So I decided to stop talking about it any longer.

  It’s all right. Now, it’s all right.

  I’ve even started to like talking to you, here in the park.

  Just listening to you speak is enough.

  You’ve told me the same thing so many times, I’ve memorized every word.

  But that’s fine.

  That’s fine, so I just wanted you to keep talking.

  Because when I hear your voice, I don’t have to listen to the cicadas’ noise.

  Because I can focus on nothing but that voice.

  I look at my watch. It was just about half past noon.

  “Wanna head home?”

  I extended a hand and you grabbed it, looking terribly embarrassed as you did.

  So uncomfortable with me, right up to the end…

  No wonder I was never popular.

  Well, our time’s just about up. Better get going.

  Thanks for everything, Hibiya.

  The noisy cicadas,

  the haze shimmering across the road

  …I hate everything about summer.

  —As I looked up, the steel pole was just about to land on my face.

  KISARAGI ATTENTION

  “Oh! Mornin’, Momo! Lookin’ cute as always today!”

  “Hee-hee-hee! Yeah…”

  After a quick greeting, we passed each other by. That was the thirty-seventh encounter today.

  It was early morning as I walked through the nearly empty shopping center, far removed from the shortest, most direct route to school. Right now, there were no shops open, no customers milling about—or there shouldn’t have been. But the place was quickly beginning to come alive.

  A steady stream of people flew out of the stores I passed, as if waiting for just this moment to try to strike up a conversation.

  “Ooh, Momo! Off to school again? Try to enjoy summer break at least a little, eh?”

  “Uh…yeah. Thanks. Ha-ha…”

  Number thirty-eight.

  I gave an awkward greeting to the produce seller who popped out from behind his stand. Looking ahead, I noticed the road begin to swell up with people.

  “Ngh…!”

  I recoiled for a moment, but there was no time to sit and ponder over it. I made a right at the shuttered drugstore adjacent to the produce stand, attempting to escape down a narrow side path.

  I checked my watch as I began to trot along.

  If anything, I had it pretty lucky this morning.

  Usually, I’d screw up and have to retreat back in the direction of home by now.

  If everything went right, I might actually make it through the school gate with time to spare today.

  As I made a left at the T intersection, my legs gradually quickening their pace, I realized how wrong I really was.

  The line of people at the bus stop was long enough that not even two buses would be enough to hold them all. They must have been running behind schedule. A man in the back noticed me. The moment he raised his voice, everyone’s eyes were immediately upon me.

  —Oh, no. This is bad.

  Shrinking back at the chorus of cheers, my face turned ashen when I saw the clock hanging from the bus stop.

  My drawn-out groan was quashed by the drone of the cicadas.

  “Dahhh! I knew it…”

  The school gate was already closed, not offering enough space for a single straggler to get through.

  Of course, if it did allow people to get through, it wouldn’t serve much purpose as a gate. Thinking about it that way, it was doing a hell of a job.

  August 14th, 9:10 a.m.

  It was no longer a matter of being on time. I was so late, I had cut out the entire first period of summer school.

  I had successfully dodged all the autograph-seekers at the bus stop, but by then, my schedule was already ruined.

  My luck ran out for good when I started running down the main thoroughfare, the shortest route—a truly desperate decision.

  On the street, one of my lovey-dovey songs, the sort of thing I couldn’t deny was far too over-the-top, was being played at high volume. Posters advertising my new single were tacked up all over the place.

  A large plasma screen showed me dancing in an outfit that looked bent on smothering me in frills. The record shop underneath the screen was selling my new CD (debuting today, of course), and a line of people snaked out the door, hoping for a chance at the free limited-edition poster on offer.

  “If I hadn’t been passing by just then, who knows what would’ve happened to you…”

  My manager’s car, parked in front of the school, was a miniature utopia of air-conditioning. The short-haired woman in the driver’s seat had her arms draped over the steering wheel. She mumbled with the drone of a woman exhausted after a hard day’s work, even though it was still morn
ing.

  “I…I’m sorry. But it wasn’t my fault! I think the buses were running late today or something, so there were all these students…”

  I tried my best to defend myself, but was stopped by a long, fatigued sigh.

  “Listen, I understand how you feel…and I know you think commuting by car would make you stand out too much.”

  “Um…yeah…”

  “I want to respect your wishes as much as I can, but…Well, I’m just not sure it’s practical any longer. I think we’re going to have to talk about this again soon.”

  She seemed terribly apologetic about it. I felt terribly apologetic about myself.

  After a moment of quiet, I looked at my watch. The first period was just about to end.

  “…Ah! I need to go…! Uh, I’ll call you later! Sorry!”

  I hopped out the passenger door, turned around, and bowed at my manager in apology. She waved me off, a resigned smile on her face.

  After bowing one more time as she turned off the hazard lights and drove away, I walked along the wall encompassing the school grounds and building, headed for the employee entrance. I could feel beads of sweat on my forehead, formed by the temperature difference between the brisk car interior and outside. The furor of the morning’s events had already made me sweaty to the point that my uniform shirt was sticking to my back, so it wasn’t much of an issue. Running around in this heat would make anyone perspire, no matter how much of a glittery sixteen-year-old your branding makes you out to be.

  Awful. Just awful. I want to go home and take a shower.

  The bell began to ring just as I reached the edge of the school wall.

  Crap. My second remedial class was starting in just ten minutes.

  I jogged up to the employee entrance and pushed the small intercom button. After a few seconds, the speaker crackled to life.

  Even through this cheap speaker, you could still hear a subdued, alien murmur of noise in the background, that classic trademark of school life. The thought of spending the whole day in that clamor was easily enough to fill my heart with gloom.