In a Daze

by Jin (Shizen no Teki-P)

  “Um…Kano? I…”

  “Huh? What? You don’t have to whisper.”

  “I don’t know…I just…”

  “It’s okay to talk like normal, you know. Hell, you can even start singing if you want. How did your debut single go? Like, ‘my peach-colored’ something-or-other?”

  “Aaaaghhh!! Don’t talk about that all of a sudden! I’m gonna punch you!”

  “Whoa, when did punching enter the picture…? Anyway, did you notice? You just shouted, and nobody even flinched.”

  “Oh…You’re right. But that’s not what I’m asking about! Marie looks like she’s having a lot of problems.”

  Marie continued to recite her would-be calming mantra.

  Even if she were visible, I was confident people would still go out of their way to avoid her.

  “Ah…Yeah, I figured she’d be like that. Hey, uh, Marie? Hello? Yeah, that sure ain’t good.”

  Kano began to walk backward, waving his hand in front of Marie’s face. She remained unresponsive, her gaze transfixed at some faraway point in space.

  I was unsure it was completely safe for someone like Kano to walk backward down a busy street.

  Don’t we have to watch out for other people? They can’t see us at all, right?

  “Oop. Hang on. Halt.”

  Just as I was about to voice my concern, Kano suddenly stopped.

  Kido stopped walking at the same time, causing Marie to bump right into him.

  “Huh…?”

  Before I could ask what was going on, a child on a bicycle cut right in front of us from the left. If we kept going at our previous pace, it would have been a nasty collision.

  What’s more, the kid had come in from a blind angle. I was looking straight ahead and had not even I noticed him.

  “…Oww! Marie!”

  “Ngh…I, I’m sorry…”

  Kido turned around to find Marie bowing in apology.

  “Ugh. You really need to pay more attention.”

  “But I’m scared…! All these people…”

  “Yes. All these people. I told you, that’s why you need to be more careful. What are you, stupid?”

  “I, I’m not stupid…!”

  Marie tried to counter, but her voice trailed off toward the end.

  “…Well, all right. Let’s get going.”

  Kido began to walk. The rest of us followed her.

  Marie appeared calmer than before, but now she was whining under her breath at Kido—“Why’d she have to say that to me,” and so on.

  Kano, meanwhile, kept walking ahead, carefree as always.

  “Say, Kano, how did you notice that kid on the bike?”

  “Hmm? Oh. I dunno. Just a hunch.”

  “Just a hunch…? Can you see the future or something?”

  Honestly, at this point, I would have accepted it if he replied “Yeah, so?” to me. Instead, he responded with a corny joke. “The future?” he said. “Boy, wouldn’t that be nice? Then I wouldn’t have to read my horoscope!”

  The traffic began to grow thicker as we drew closer to the department store down the street.

  A lot of the cars seemed to be leaving the complex, too. I spotted a giant stuffed animal in the backseat of one sedan on the opposite side.

  “Hey. We gotta cross this intersection. Stay close to me.”

  Kido stopped in front of the stoplight, pointing the crosswalk out to us.

  We needed to be careful. Cars were turning in and out from both sides.

  “I’m…I’m scared to cross…”

  “Mm? Oh, it’s all right. Just stick to Kido’s side, okay?”

  “Yep. Just not so close. You’re…you’re dragging me down…”

  “But I…I can’t…!”

  Marie was tightly hugging Kido, as if preparing for her big German suplex finisher.

  Kido pried her off, clasping Marie’s hands around the bottom of her jacket instead.

  I found myself naturally sidling up to her as well.

  Seeing the trucks passing right in front of us, I could feel myself gripped by an uncertain stress.

  “Okay. Free over there.”

  “All right, let’s go. Follow me.”

  After the light turned green, Kido let two cars in front of her make a turn before setting off.

  Kano followed along behind her.

  I checked a few times for oncoming cars, but since we were far from the only pedestrians crossing, my brain shifted over to the task of dodging them instead.

  Once we crossed safely, we saw just a bit of the department store peeking between the buildings in front of us.

  Navigating another crosswalk beyond, we hung a quick left. It was a straight shot after that.

  I had passed nearby the store many times before, but every encounter gave me a new appreciation for how enormous it was.

  I always thought it looked like something out of an epic RPG or something.

  “Wow. This joint looks like something out of, like, an RPG, doesn’t it?”

  Kano suddenly struck up a conversation as we waited at the crosswalk for a green light.

  “H-huh? Whoa! How did you…?!”

  “Uh…what’s the deal? Did I say something weird…?”

  The sheer spot-on timing of it was enough to shock me into losing control of my motor functions.

  I could tell that Kano was plainly unnerved by this.

  It seemed like just a simple coincidence, but to be honest, it seemed like the guy was reading my mind. It scared me.

  “Oh, uh…Ha-ha-ha! Nothing that important.”

  “Mmm? Well, you sure weren’t acting that way. Oh, were you maybe thinking the same thing or something?”

  “Whoa! How did you know that…?”

  That, or he really could read my mind.

  So was he picking up on all the crazy thoughts that have crossed my mind so far today…? The idea sent a chill up my spine.

  “Oh, you were? It was just kind of a hunch, really. Guess great minds think alike, huh, Kisaragi?”

  “C-could you knock that off? It’s really weird.”

  I had to give Kano my honest take. He drooped his shoulders dejectedly, obviously put off by it.

  Or maybe he’s not reading my mind after all? This was getting confusing.

  “Oh, Kidoooo…You’re the only one who really understands me!”

  “Get away. I’ll kill you, I swear.”

  “Oh, all right…”

  Kano had tried to approach, but then Kido sent him reeling back through sheer force of will.

  There’s the boss for you. She knows her troops well.

  Once the light finally turned green and we crossed the street, the department store was almost upon us.

  As we walked down the opposite side of the street from before, Kano and I marching forward in a straight line, I noticed a large white van passing us by.

  Come to think of it, I wonder what’s going on with my drama shoot right now.

  I bet my manager was livid.

  The agency might have every employee out on the streets, combing the city for me.

  I really need to get in contact. We need to talk this over, and I need to get my true feelings across…

  “A-are you all right?”

  “Huh?”

  I looked where the voice came from, only to find Marie worriedly staring at me.

  “Ah! Y-yeah! Yeah, I’m just fine. Did…did I really look that bad?”

  Marie lightly nodded, not even trying to hide the truth.

  Yes. I think I am on the path to finally making a friend.

  I have a child here who worries about me. The normal me, not the girl on the idol pop charts.

  “I…I’m sorry. But, hey, we can see the department store now, Marie! There’s bound to be all kinds of neat stuff in there. Isn’t it exciting?!”

  “Huh…? Oh! Oh, you’re right! Ooh, it’s like an enchanted palace!”

  The line of buildings to the right suddenly gave way to the grand
sight of the department store.

  It was a grand, opulent-looking edifice. Marie’s appraisal was far from an exaggeration.

  I had thought before about visiting the amusement park up on the roof, but it always felt a little awkward to go by myself.

  But today was different. The whole gang was here. Maybe we’d have a little time to see the sights.

  I could palpably feel the excitement bubbling in my heart.

  “It sure is, isn’t it? And it’s even more amazing inside!”

  “Ooh, I can’t wait!”

  Marie’s eyes were wide open and filled with wonder, like an excited child.

  Sneaking a glance at Kido, I could see her smiling a little.

  I began to feel a little embarrassed. My eyes were probably just as wide and childlike as hers.

  I walked up to Kido’s side and spoke, trying to keep my voice soft.

  “Why don’t we all go shopping together, boss?”

  “Mm? I don’t really have anything I need…”

  “Aw, but we already walked all the way over here. Let’s go look at some clothes! I could pick a cute outfit for you!”

  “You…?! I should probably pass.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to be polite! You know, I’ve got a pretty good eye for coordinating outfits, so…”

  “Well, no, I mean…Your outfits, they’re kind of garish. It’s not really my thing, so…Uh, something wrong?”

  We had just approached the entrance to the department store complex.

  I hadn’t noticed until we were practically touching, but I saw someone familiar standing there.

  You’re kidding me. That’s impossible. Why would he be here, and why now, of all the times…?!

  I doubted he was aware of any of this, but either way, I needed to get out of there, fast.

  “—Kisaragi? Something up?”

  “My brother…”

  “Your…What? Your brother?! How…Whoa!”

  My feet tripped over each other in my haste to escape, sending me careening into Kido at full speed.

  I threw her off balance, sending her straight in the direction of my brother, Shintaro.

  “Ow!”

  Oh, no. I’d gotten so freaked out that I’d just made things worse.

  “A-a-a-ahhhh!”

  Marie, just as surprised as I was over these events, had majestically stumbled to the ground herself, even though she was nowhere near us.

  Kido quickly gathered herself together and turned toward my brother.

  “Uh…umm…So, uh, I’m sorry for—”

  It was almost sad, hearing my brother try to interact with a woman using that limp, mumbling voice of his.

  He also had his head down practically to the ground, all but groveling to her. It surprised all of us.

  You have got to give me a break. I sighed, my body racked with regret at spurting out “my brother” to my friends.

  “…Oh, no biggie. Sorry about that.”

  After quickly apologizing, Kido turned back toward me.

  Standing back up straight, my brother suddenly spun his head around, confused, before putting his hands on his knees and hyperventilating.

  Oh, man. What a pathetic-looking creature this is.

  All he did was bump into a woman, but he was acting like he’d just walked straight into a grizzly bear.

  He didn’t seem to have noticed me, thankfully, but that was probably because Kido was focusing her powers on the rest of us.

  That, or maybe all that staring at his PC monitor finally made him go blind.

  Either way, I brought my hand to my face, too embarrassed to look.

  “Ugh…this is awful…”

  “Are you for real, Kisaragi? That guy’s your brother?!”

  As we returned to our neat little line, Kido—cool as a cucumber as she dealt with Shintaro—broke out in a cold sweat as she addressed me.

  “I…no, he’s not…He’s not. Please.”

  “No, I definitely heard you use the word ‘brother’ just now.”

  Kano, a cool observer to the whole catastrophe, chimed in as if on cue.

  “Ngh…! Uh, hey, Marie, are you okay?! Sorry if I surprised you…!”

  Marie had already stood back up, although there was a tear around the knee of one of her socks.

  “Agh…! Are, are you hurt?!”

  “Awww…This was the first time I wore these, too…”

  All Marie seemed to care about right now was her socks.

  I doubted she was too traumatized.

  “Whew! That’s good. Kano, why are you smirking at me like that? You’re creeping me out!”

  “Huh? Oh, no, no, I didn’t mean to…Uh, don’t worry about it, okay?”

  Kano looked exactly like a kid who had just found a new toy to play with.

  He is such a creep.

  “Arrrghhh! This is just the worst! What could he possibly be doing here…?”

  “S-so that was your brother over there? Really?”

  “Please, boss, stop reminding me! I don’t want to see him! Ugh, I hate this…”

  “O-oh…! Uh, sorry.”

  I looked back at my brother, apparently chatting with his cell phone by the entrance gate.

  Probably talking with her again.

  But what would bring them here?

  He hadn’t even tried to set foot outside of the house in nearly two years…

  “Look, let’s just get going, okay? How’s that sound, Marie?!”

  “Uh, yeah…Are you mad, Kisaragi?”

  “No! Not mad at all! You hurry up too, boss!!”

  “Um…okay…”

  Let’s just get in the store before my brother decides to follow me in.

  Pushing Kido through the gate, I scrambled inside the department store as quickly as I could.

  “Huh? Hey, do I get a push, too?”

  Kano stuck his nose between us, beaming brightly, an inquisitive finger pointed at himself as he walked alongside me.

  “Kano, why don’t you just go home and die?!”

  “Aww…Hey, maybe your brother wants to hang out with me, huh?”

  “Aaahhhhh!! Just kidding. Never mind! Come with me!!”

  “Oh, don’t be so shy, Kisaragi…If you want me to come along, like, say so, huh?”

  Repressing the murderous urges welling up from my stomach, I silently headed inside the department store.

  Let’s just get to the seventh floor. They’ve got to have phones in the electronics section.

  My brother might not even be going inside in the first place. Besides, this store is huge. Even if he did enter, no way would we be heading for the exact same place.

  I just have to get away from him, and I’m safe.

  We gotta get inside. We’re here to have a fun shopping trip, dammit!

  The afternoon sun shone through the glass windows that lined the walls.

  The Obon holiday had brought a lot of families out of the house. Small children were playing around with the giant refrigerators on display, messing with the doors and hiding inside the freezer.

  I wished I could run around and shout like they could. Reality can be cruel like that. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve been possessed by some kind of demonic spirit.

  “K-Kisaragi…?”

  “Mmm? What is it, Marie?”

  “Eep! Uh…uh, cheer up, okay?”

  “Oh, don’t worry, Marie. I feel great! Isn’t this fun…? Heh-heh…”

  “Oh…uh, yeah…sorry…”

  The seventh floor.

  Up-tempo music filled the space, blaring out of speakers placed around the home-appliance section.

  Kano launched into a cheek-stretching yawn, acting oddly fatigued.

  He was apparently already tired of waiting for us. That was his problem, not mine.

  We had decided to take the stairs up to the seventh level. The elevators and escalators were too dense with people for Kido to have confidence in her skill. We haven’t really disappeared, after all. If some
one touched us, that would immediately break the spell, so to speak.

  I tried to hurry the gang along, but Marie could only take the steps two at a time for short spurts before running out of breath. We were forced to take frequent rests, costing me untold amounts of time.

  The moment we finally reached the seventh floor and headed for the phone section, my brother strolled out of the elevator.

  I had thought this was a good day. Let me amend that. Today was absolutely, positively, the unluckiest day of my life.

  Some might find all of this romantic, the idea of me reaching the exact same destination as my brother on his first outing in two years. If the goddess of romance were here right now, I was ready to clock her.

  Incidentally, Kido would have to relax her ability a little bit if I wanted to replace my phone.

  By “relax,” she explained to me, I would be noticed by others, but still wouldn’t stand out that much.

  I would be just another face in the crowd, too humdrum and normal for anyone to recall me afterward.

  But, as Kido put it, my brother would be another matter.

  When it comes to family members and other people I shared a great deal of time with, if I made my presence even a little bit known, there was every possibility that he could sniff me out.

  My brother was far too obtuse and thick-headed for that, I figured, but just to be doubly sure, we decided to wait and scope out the scene until he went away.

  So here we were. Waiting for my brother, currently shuffling around in front of some stupid grenade-shaped water heater he surely had no intention of buying anyway, to log out of my life.

  “Why did this have to happen…?”

  I murmured it to myself softly as we waited, four in a line, in a relatively inconspicuous aisle.

  The Mekakushi-dan, on a covert mission to replace my cell phone, sidling this way and that to keep passersby from blundering into them. In my eyes, there was no simpler way to portray hell on earth.