All That You Are

by Stef Ann Holm

Once in her office, Dana opened a page on her computer. She found those red Louboutin shoes she absolutely loved and drooled at the extravagance, knowing it would be ridiculous to spend the bucks on them.

  Engrossed in the image, she didn’t notice Mark Moretti filling her doorway, watching her unblinking face while she drooled.

  “You sure are gorgeous,” he said, shooting her off her cloud.

  She about jolted sideways off her chair. “Dammit, Moretti, you scared the crap out of me. What do you want?”

  “Well, hello to you, too, sunshine.”

  He’d left the bar hours ago and she hadn’t expected him back. The fact he stood less than a few feet away, spying on her, rose her hackles a bit.

  “You went home,” she stated.

  “I came back.” His sexy smile soared straight into her heart; those vague dimples of his got to her when he really put his charm into his curving mouth. She wanted to kill him…kiss him.

  “How come you came back?” she asked, rising so he wouldn’t stare down at her. She always felt short enough around him.

  “I wanted to tell you something.”

  Cautious, yet concerned, she replied, “Is there a problem with the construction? Did you run out of something and can’t get it? It happens here a lot. Everything has to be shipped in.”

  He came toward her. “Nothing like that at all.” He stood tall, taller than she could imagine a man could be next to her. Standing over her slight frame, he looked into her face. “I was just thinking.”

  Her breath hitched in her throat. “Thinking what?”

  She could feel the heat radiating off his body. He wore a rain-damp button-down shirt and jeans, dark lace shoes. No jacket, as if he’d run into the bar real quick. A light rain had been falling most of the day, and his hair was wet from that or the shower. “I was at the building supply today and I was thinking about you.”

  “What?” The word escaped her lips, confusion marking her tone.

  Mark put his hands on her shoulders and brought her close. “I was just thinking that you’re my sunshine on a rainy day.”

  Bewildered, she blurted, “Is that a song lyric?”

  He laughed, shaking his head. “No. It’s a compliment. When it’s raining, you’re my eighty degrees and I don’t mind the clouds. I just wanted you to know.”

  Then he lowered his head and kissed her. Gently and light as a whisper. Before she could feel the heat of it and suction herself next to his broad chest, he pulled back.

  With the faintest of smiles that left her puzzled, he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Then he was gone and she stood there alone and, strangely, wishing he was still there.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  AFTER WORK ON THURSDAY, Dana dashed home and changed into dark denim jeans, heeled black loafers and a black turtleneck. The humidity had ruined her hair, frizzing the carefully flattened curls to an annoying degree. Giving up trying to fix the damage, she opted to pin her hair into a messy twist at the back of her head. She needed to have the chemical relaxer applied again, but doing that was such a long ordeal she hadn’t made the time.

  A few hours ago, Mark asked if he could come at four rather than the five o’clock he’d originally planned. He had a surprise for them. Dana wasn’t one for surprises, but Mark wouldn’t budge and tell her what it was, only that he’d learned about something fun that her son would like to do before dinner.

  The doorbell rang and her mom rose from the chair to answer it, Terran close on her heels. He’d been very excited to go out for pizza, and moderately interested in Mark coming with them. He’d asked her questions about Mark since the only adult male he was around on a regular basis was his father.

  To a little boy, a new guy was a novelty. Did he like trucks or motorcycles? Did he like Spiderman or Superman better? Did he hate broccoli and did he love pizza? Innocent inquiries that Dana had no answer for. She didn’t know.

  Dana rushed down the stairs wanting to get out of here quickly without allowing her mom the chance to question Mark herself—or to make something more out of this when it was nothing.

  Suni had been surprised when Dana mentioned the evening, only a few hours ago even though she’d known for a week they’d be going out tonight. Dana surprised herself. She wasn’t one to go on a date, especially not with Terran. This was all new territory for her.

  Part of her still reeled over the information Terran had spilled about his daddy’s cozy “sleepover.” The news that Cooper would have a woman spend the night with their son in the house had incensed her. Couldn’t he have waited until his off week? The jerk.

  She’d called him out on it that Sunday night, reading him the riot act over the telephone. Anger had simmered through her veins. He’d told her to chill, and claimed he could decide what he wanted in his own home, and she had no right to tell him what to do.

  Dana hadn’t mentioned the incident to her mom—Suni would have gone off the deep end. Instead, Dana had put in a call to her lawyer to see if she could get an injunction or something against Cooper. Her attorney told her that since there was nothing in the custody agreement stipulating overnight guests, Mr. Boyd was free to use his “own discretion” when the minor child was in his care. That just didn’t seem right.

  “Hi, Terran. How are you?” Mark said from the doorway as Terran swung the door open with his grandmother.

  “Hi. What’s our surprise?”

  “You’ll see,” Mark replied, his voice easygoing.

  Dana drew next to the door and addressed her mom. “Back in a little while.”

  “I’ll see you at the ice rink,” Suni responded, studiously giving Mark a long gaze. “I suppose you’ll be there, too.”

  “That’s probably likely since I’m driving them.” Mark smiled a deep and warm smile, his words not in the slightest condescending, but rather strong and unyielding as if he wouldn’t take an argument about his involvement with her daughter—no matter how casual.

  Dana appreciated Mark’s straightforwardness and very relaxed manner. In fact, she admired him for it. She wouldn’t have been so matter-of-fact if she had to talk to some guy’s mom. Having dealings in the past with parents who were curious about her mixed heritage, she’d had some unfortunate experiences that put her on guard in new situations.

  “I’ll get that,” Mark said as she reached down for the booster car seat Terran had to use. “See you later,” he called to her mother.

  Suni stood on the stoop, watching them walk down the steps toward Mark’s pickup truck. Settled in, they headed off.

  Once more, Terran asked, “Hey, Mark, what’s the surprise?”

  Keeping his eyes on the road, Mark replied with a half smile, “I asked around and found out where the bestest place to go before dinner is.”

  “Where?”

  “You’ll see.”

  “But I want to see right now.”

  Mark softly laughed. “You aren’t very patient. Just like your mom.”

  Dana fended off a frown. She sat directly next to Mark in the truck’s cab, while Terran filled the window seat. He gazed through the glass, counting trees as they passed by. He’d only get as high as ten, then pause and start back on tree number one.

  They weren’t headed toward town. Dana knew it was too cold to hit Rotary Beach, although that was a favorite of hers on a sunny day—or even an overcast one. The rocky beach was fun to walk along and collect pretty stones, as well as sand-washed glass pieces. She was collecting the various colored-glass pieces and putting them in a jar. The playground there was really great, too.

  Mark drove farther, turned and took a side road. Dana knew where they were going. Terran wouldn’t have known the landmarks, but Dana smiled. “Thanks. He’s going to love this.”

  Pulling the truck into a vacant space, Mark said, “That’s what I heard.”

  The Ketchikan Recreational Center had quarter- and half-pipe skateboard ramps next to the building. Kids, mostly boys, skated the length doing tricks,
wiping out and laughing. Inside, there were basketball courts, Ping-Pong tables and a walking track. For smaller guys like Terran, the playroom was popular with its toys, tumbling mats and Little Tikes slide and playhouse set.

  Terran’s face split into a grin. “Hey, Mommy. I know where we are!”

  “Where’s that?” She smiled back.

  “The play place!” He wiggled in his car seat, anxious to be free and run wild.

  Mark stepped down out of the truck and came around to help Terran, then her. Dana felt self-conscious as Mark’s hands reached out to her to guide her to the ground. The contact was hot and over all too soon.

  Once standing, she backed away and forced herself into a calm she didn’t feel. She held on to her purse handles with one hand and Terran with the other so she wouldn’t have a free hand for Mark to take.

  They went into the rec center and Terran shot off like a pistol when they came to his section. Dana and Mark took seats as her son busied himself on the slide and made quick friends with those who’d arrived there before him.

  “This was nice of you.” Dana felt slightly unsettled by Mark’s generosity and she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. She didn’t know why it bothered her that he’d gone to this trouble to please her five-year-old boy. Maybe because she wasn’t used to a man thinking of others before himself. Cooper put himself number one on a list of important people. Not that she cared—that was just his way.

  “No problem,” Mark replied. “He’s having fun.”

  “He loves it here.” Dana settled in, her purse at her feet. She slid out of her lightweight coat and folded it on the vacant seat next to her.

  With her agile movements, she could smell the perfume she’d sprayed at her neck. Very subtle, very soft in its floral composition. After coming home from the bar, she wanted to spend time freshening her makeup and adding a spritz of fragrance to her skin. She wanted to look nice and appealing.

  Her thoughts hadn’t wandered far from that night in Mark’s condo, and they strayed there now. She was insane to revisit them. It had been lunacy that night to get that close to him and to want to be that close once more.

  The way his mouth had fit over hers, his hands covering her breast and—

  “Dana?” Mark’s deep voice broke through her thoughts. “You okay?”

  “Huh, yes. Sure. Fine.”

  “You looked far-off.”

  “Uh, no. Just thinking about the…remodel.” She watched as Terran strung a line of toy trains together.

  “Are you worried I won’t have it finished in time?”

  “No.”

  But she had thought about what it would be like when he’d left and gone back to Boise. In the early morning hours when she tried to fall asleep after a long night in the Blue Note, oftentimes her wild thoughts veered to Mark, and how much she’d come to rely on him being around.

  Those were dangerous thoughts to have.

  She counted on no one but herself—and her mom. God knows what she’d do without her mother’s help. Beyond that, there wasn’t a thing she couldn’t handle.

  Until the fire marshal’s report.

  That had been something that would have put her under. If it hadn’t been for Mark…

  “Good, because you have nothing to worry about,” Mark said as he waved to Terran.

  “I wasn’t worried.”

  Mark turned to her, his eyes locking into hers as he gave her a serious examination. “Dana, I don’t think there’s a day that goes by that you’re not worried about something.”

  “That’s simply not true.”

  “Prove it. This morning you were going nuts over some order that Leo said hadn’t arrived and you were wigging out on the phone to figure out what had happened to it.”

  In her defense, Dana said, “That was my liquor order. And without it, I’m in deep trouble. We cut the timing way too short and it was imperative that alcohol shipment arrive today. The freighter was due to be here by noon. But when I called, they assured me it would be there no later than five o’clock tonight.”

  Mark’s brows raised. “How many times have you checked on it since you got home?”

  “Only once, Mark.” Dana gave him a smug smile. “And it had arrived.”

  “But you worried about it, sunshine.”

  “Oh, whatever.” She dismissed him, knowing he’d pegged her right.

  “Momma, look!” Terran attempted to do a somersault on a rubber mat. He went halfway over, then tilted sideways.

  “That’s awesome, baby!” she called out to him.

  He made another attempt, and with the same results. While the other kids played in pairs, he pretty much remained a loner.

  “You ever thought about having another kid?” Mark asked, his very personal question shaking through her mind.

  “Not today,” she replied, rather smartly. “Maybe next week if I meet the right guy.”

  “Funny.” Mark rested his forearms on his knees, watching as Terran bounced from one activity to another. “I was just imagining what it would have been like to not have brothers or a sister to play with.”

  “I wouldn’t know, either. I had a big brother,” she remarked in a voice riddled with angst. As soon as she said it, she felt like crying. She would have done anything to have her brother back. “But that’s why only children can make friends in school. So they don’t have to feel like they don’t have anyone else.”

  At least that was her fervent wish for Terran. That he make a good buddy for life. He had friends on his hockey team, but not many of the boys lived close by. Their modest house was located in a densely wooded area without benefits of a subdivision teeming with kids. Terran’s biggest event in his life was a slumber party. It had happened a couple of times—with the teammates from his hockey league. She’d hosted one at her house, and about went bonkers that evening trying to settle all those boys down after pop and pizza. She’d finally lined them up in sleeping bags on the living room floor and she’d slept on the sofa, or rather, tried to sleep through the giggles, burps and farts. She was wasted the next day.

  Dana had hopes that kindergarten would bring Terran a new set of friends.

  “I like your shoes,” Mark commented, drawing her from her thoughts. She followed his gaze to her black heeled loafers.

  Thinking his remark unusual, she challenged, “Men don’t usually notice women’s shoes.”

  “You’re right. But I did notice you have a fetish for them.” A lift of his brows and lighthearted amusement filled his good-looking expression. “Yesterday when I stopped by to say hi, I saw what you were looking at on the computer.”

  She wanted to shrink into nothingness. First, he hadn’t just stopped by and, second, she’d wanted to stick herself to him like chewing gum and he’d probably known it. Rather than clue him in to her true thoughts, she said vehemently, “I don’t look at shoes all day. You caught me at a bad time.”

  With a shrug that dismissed the subject, he said, “Don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

  Feeling helpless to rationalize her love for heeled shoes, Dana silently watched Terran happily interact with the other children, lost in a myriad of thoughts. This had never happened to her before. In her dating past, she must have hung out with men less intelligent than her, because she mostly controlled their conversations. But Mark gained the upper hand on her every time. She was always left bemused and wondering how it had happened.

  Before long, it was time to leave.

  Once outside, Mark paused to watch kids speeding along on the skateboard ramp. “Terran, do you know how to skateboard?”

  “Nope.” He shook his head, the missing tooth in his mouth emphasizing the o in the word to a slight lisp. “My mommy said I’ll break my bones ’cause we live on a big street.”

  “We’re on a steep hill,” Dana clarified.

  Mark nodded at Dana, then addressed Terran, “Yeah, she’s right. A little dude on fast wheels, you could take a nasty header and bust yourself pretty good.” N
o facetiousness marked his tone. “That sucks though. Can you ride your bike?”

  “I got one at my dad’s house.” Terran rubbed his nose. “Do you know how to skateboard?”

  “Yes, but I bought it on the quarter-pipe my dad built for me and broke my arm.”

  “Bought what?” Terran’s eyes squinched as he tried to figure out what Mark meant.

  Mark vaguely smiled. “Fell down and had to have my arm in a cast.”

  “I want my arm in a cast!”

  “No, you don’t.”

  Then Mark called to one of the teen boys, drew closer to him and the next thing Dana knew, Mark was borrowing the skateboard.

  “Whoa.” Terran uttered the word in awe as Mark hopped onto the pipe and began to move the board along the flat edge, then bring things up to speed and curl over the top and back down. Knees bent and arms out, he mastered the ramp without effort and took another run at it.

  His beaming face expressed the joy and freedom he must have felt to accomplish such a feat.

  Dana had never seen a grown man do such a thing. She knew that boarding was hugely popular, but Mark’s presence on the ramp took her by surprise.

  After several runs, he handed the teenager his board back, and the boy gave him a high five. Mark smiled and hopped down to join them in the paved area.

  “You rock and roll!” Terran breathed with an excited grin, the expression one of his dad’s.

  “Wow.” Mark laughed, his voice deep and happy. “I haven’t done that in nearly twenty years. That was awesome.”

  “Hey, Mark? Mark?” Terran all but jumped like a rubber ball in the parking lot. “Can you show me how to do that?”

  Walking toward the truck, Mark’s smile remained planted on his face. “I don’t know. You’d need a small quarter-pipe ramp in your garage and you’d have to wear a helmet, elbow and knee pads. And your mom would have to say okay.” The latter comment was directed specifically at her.

  “Mommy? Can I? Please?”

  Dana drew in a breath. She’d never thought about Terran and a skateboard, but it made sense he’d be interested. He knew no fear on the ice thanks to Cooper’s encouragement. “How do I get a ramp in the garage?” she asked as Mark opened the truck door.