The Never Have I Ever Club

by Mary Jayne Baker

  ‘Afternoon, my love,’ Mrs Sykes said in her friendly singsong voice when Robyn walked into the surgery. ‘Do you have an appointment?’

  ‘No.’ Robyn caught sight of her face in the reflective surface of an aluminium fan and hastily wiped the tear tracks from her cheeks. ‘Um, I want to see Dr Barnes. Please.’

  ‘Bloom, Robyn. Now… oh yes, that’s right.’ Mrs Sykes looked up from her computer. ‘I’m sorry, pet, I’m afraid I can’t schedule you an appointment with that doctor.’

  ‘No, you don’t understand. I want—’ Robyn stopped. ‘Hang on, what do you mean you can’t?’

  ‘There’s a note on your record that states you can only have appointments with Doctors Sykes and Kaur. Sorry.’

  ‘Why would it say that?’

  ‘Well, generally it happens when a doctor has declared an interest.’ She noticed Robyn’s puzzled expression. ‘I mean, when they’ve said they feel they ought not to treat that particular patient.’

  ‘Oh. Right.’ Robyn was silent a moment. ‘Anyway, sorry, I’ve not explained myself very well. I’m actually here to see Dr Barnes in a personal capacity. I wondered if I could have a word with him when he’s between appointments.’

  ‘Well, I can ask him,’ Mrs Sykes said, looking surprised. ‘Just a moment.’

  She returned a minute later.

  ‘He’s with a patient, but he says if you take a seat, he’ll pop out to you as soon as he’s got a window.’

  ‘Great, thank you.’

  The waiting room was nearly empty, just one other person sniffling in the seat opposite Robyn’s.

  ‘You too?’ the woman said through a heavily blocked nose when Robyn took out a tissue to wipe her eyes.

  ‘Er, yes.’

  ‘I’m a martyr to the things myself. Doesn’t matter what the season, the colds can see me coming.’

  ‘They’re a pain,’ Robyn said, trying to sound sympathetic.

  The woman, obviously glad to have someone to chat to who wouldn’t immediately flee her germ-ridden presence, stood up and took a seat next to Robyn. She managed to keep up a stream of small talk for ten solid minutes, oblivious to Robyn’s monosyllabic replies, until Donald Sykes appeared to call her in to her appointment.

  Robyn kept her eyes fixed on the door of Will’s consulting room. Eventually she saw his patient leave, and shortly after Will himself appeared.

  ‘Bloom,’ he said.

  She flashed him a shaky smile. ‘Tell you what, it’s a good place to come to get ill, this.’

  He looked into her face, noting the swollen, red-rimmed eyes. ‘What’s up, love? You look awful.’

  ‘I went to see my aunty today. She had something important to tell me.’

  ‘Oh. Oh God.’ He sighed. ‘I’m so sorry, Robyn.’

  ‘Will, can we go somewhere private?’

  ‘Not in the consulting room, you’re not a patient. Here, let’s go outside.’

  She followed him out of the building to a secluded spot behind the bushes that circled the surgery car park.

  ‘Come here then,’ he said, wrapping her in a hug.

  ‘Thanks,’ she whispered as she let her body go limp.

  ‘She just told you?’

  ‘Yes. She told me she’d refused all treatment. All except Janet’s useless pills.’ Robyn looked up at him. ‘You’ve known for ages. Haven’t you?’

  ‘Since just after Christmas. I’m sorry, Bloom, you know I couldn’t tell you.’

  She gasped out a sob. ‘Shit, Will, what am I going to do? I can’t watch her die. I hate to think of her in pain or… I mean, she’s always been so bouncy and positive and… Fliss.’

  ‘Hey. Shush,’ he whispered as she gave in to fresh tears, pressing his lips to the top of her hair. ‘It’s hard to watch someone you love hurting, I know.’

  She sighed. ‘Of course you do. Sorry, Will, I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories.’

  ‘Never mind about that.’ He released her from the hug. ‘Is there anyone who can come over to sit with you this evening? You shouldn’t be alone when you’re upset.’

  ‘No one I can talk to. Fliss asked me to keep it quiet.’ She rested her head against his chest and inhaled his comforting baby-powder scent. ‘Would you come?’ she whispered.

  He hesitated. ‘Me?’

  ‘Please.’

  ‘I… guess so. If you need me.’ He looked at his watch. ‘My next appointment’s due in a few minutes but I’ll be finished for the day at five. You head home and do something to take your mind off things. I’ll be there before you know it.’

  *

  Will arrived home around half past five and parked up in his driveway. He glanced at the house, wondering whether he ought to change out of his work clothes before going to Robyn’s, but he knew that’d mean an awkward conversation with Ash. Deciding he’d have to do as he was, he headed next door.

  Twice recently he’d gone back on his pledge to try to avoid alone time with Robyn: first at the previous meeting when he’d found her sobbing in the toilets, and now tonight. But what could he do, when she was upset? He hated to think of her crying on her own.

  ‘Hi,’ Robyn said when she answered the door, flashing him a wobbly smile. Her eyes were wet with fresh tears. ‘Come in, Will.’

  He followed her inside.

  *

  ‘Will?’ Ash called as he came downstairs. ‘You home, mate? I got us some beers.’

  No one there. That was weird; he was sure he’d heard Will’s car.

  He went into the living room and glanced out through the window. Yep, there was the car, although he couldn’t see his brother anywhere. He opened the window and leaned out.

  Just in time to see Will disappearing into Robyn’s house next door.

  *

  ‘I took your advice and tried to take my mind off it,’ Robyn said as she led Will into the living room. ‘I cooked us tea.’

  ‘Barbecue? Something around here definitely smells chargrilled.’

  She laughed. ‘No, pasta. I let it boil dry and burn itself to the bottom of the pan while I had a shower. Too much on my mind to remember if I’m coming or going.’

  ‘Well, don’t worry about it. I wasn’t expecting you to feed me.’

  ‘It’s all right, I went out to Cockburn’s for a couple of pizzas and some wine. Can I offer you a glass?’

  ‘I wouldn’t say no. Cheers.’

  She fetched them a wine each and took a seat next to him.

  ‘So how much can you tell me?’ she said quietly.

  ‘Nothing other than what your aunt’s already said, but it sounds like she’s filled you in on everything.’ He turned to face her. ‘Robyn, thyroid cancer has one of the highest survival rates of any type of cancer. Especially when it’s diagnosed early.’

  ‘So are you saying… what are you saying?’

  ‘What did she tell you about treatment?’

  ‘Only that she’d refused it,’ Robyn said, pressing her eyes closed. ‘She said she’d rather enjoy the time she has left than suffer the side effects of surgery and radiotherapy.’

  ‘I can’t talk about Felicity’s case. But in general terms, when a seventy-six-year-old woman who’s generally fit and healthy gets an early diagnosis of cancer, surgery to remove the tumour and a course of radiotherapy would give her a good chance – a very good chance – of going into remission.’

  ‘And if she doesn’t have treatment?’

  ‘Well, how long is a piece of string? But she could have a year or even less, depending on how aggressive the cancer turns out to be.’ He took her hands. ‘Could you talk to her, Bloom?’

  ‘I did. Or I tried to. She’s a stubborn old mare.’

  ‘No joy at all?’

  ‘None. She just keeps fiddling with her quartz and popping those bloody sugar pills.’

  ‘Try again. I can get you some information on the recommended treatments. Chemotherapy’s rarely used to treat thyroid cancer and the side effects from radio aren’t near
ly so bad. I did explain all that, but she just put that face on like her mind was made up. Maybe if you were to give her the facts though…’

  ‘I will. I’ll get the Brig on side too.’ A tear slid down Robyn’s cheek and plopped into her wine. ‘What if she won’t change her mind, Will?’ she whispered.

  He stretched an arm around her shoulders. ‘Well, that’s her decision. She’s got the right to refuse treatment if she chooses. As hard as it is for the people who care about her, I think you have to respect that.’

  ‘I just feel so helpless. I don’t want to lose her, not when I don’t have to.’

  ‘I know,’ he said, giving her a squeeze. ‘Just make sure she’s got all the information at her disposal, since she doesn’t like listening to me. After that, it’s down to her.’

  ‘I suppose so.’ Robyn knocked back a mouthful of wine. ‘You know what I’m in the mood for?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Getting absolutely hammered. Are you up for it?’

  He frowned. ‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’

  ‘Have you got a better one?’

  ‘Well…’

  ‘Come on, mate, it’s Saturday night. We can watch a cheesy retro film and play drinking games, like we used to when we were teenagers.’

  He smiled. ‘Overboard or Heathers?’

  ‘You read my mind,’ she said, laughing. ‘I’ll dig out Overboard if you put the pizzas on.’

  ‘All right. I’ll just text our Ash.’

  While Robyn was out of the room hunting through her DVDs, Will sent a message to his brother.

  Might be latish tonight. Don’t wait to eat with me, I’m having tea out.

  It buzzed seconds later with a reply.

  Yeah, I noticed.

  Will sighed. It wasn’t like he hadn’t expected his brother to work out where he was. He just didn’t want to have that conversation right now. He wasn’t even sure how he was going to have that conversation at all, given it involved a patient’s confidential medical information.

  Look, I’ll explain when I get home, he texted. Robyn’s upset about something.

  He stared at his phone for a minute, but there was no reply. Whatever Ash had to say, he was obviously waiting until he could say it in person.

  Well, he could deal with that later. Right now, he had an upset Robyn to take care of. He put his phone away and went to sort out the pizzas.

  *

  Ash hovered with his hand on the front door handle. Then he drew it away.

  He’d said he trusted Will, and he meant it. He loved his brother and he trusted him implicitly, with Robyn and with everything else.

  But Ash was only human, and he couldn’t help dwelling on what the two of them might be doing over there. This was the second time recently his brother had ditched him to spend time with Robyn Bloom. And Will and Robyn had always been so close…

  Will had said in his text that Robyn was upset. What were they likely to be doing now? Did Will have his arm around her? Was she touching his arm – his leg?

  Robyn had always had a physically demonstrative relationship with Will, and with Ash too in the days when they were still just friends. It had never bothered him before. Why should it? Friends did that stuff, and they’d known each other a long time.

  But before he’d gone to Australia, it had always been the three of them. Now, thinking of her and Will snuggled up together at her place… he knew Will would never do the dirty on him, yet still it made him feel unsettled. He felt a stab of jealousy imagining his brother right where he wanted to be, touching the girl he loved; basking in her trust and affection, albeit as just a friend, while she hated Ash’s guts.

  A little voice in his head, one that sounded like Will at his sanctimonious best, reminded him he had no one to blame for that except himself. He swatted it away.

  They’d been in there a couple of hours now. That was more than a quick bite to eat. Ash toyed again with the idea of marching over and demanding to know what was going on.

  But what good would that do? Rob was still smarting from his actions the day he’d impersonated Will. Acting like the jealous husband in an Edwardian farce was unlikely to endear him to her further. All he’d be doing would be adding ‘possessive arsehole’ to his list of crimes, right after ‘selfish bastard’ and ‘lying twat’.

  No, there was nothing he could do. He’d just have to wait for Will to come back and tell him what was going on.

  23

  ‘I need another top-up,’ Robyn said as they were approaching the end of the film. She stood up, slightly unsteadily, and went to refill her glass.

  ‘I can’t keep up with you,’ Will said, smiling. ‘Slow down a bit, eh, Bloomy?’

  ‘Sorry,’ she said, coming back in with a fresh glass of wine. ‘Just trying to numb the worry. I guess that’s Fliss’s drunken genes coming out.’

  ‘How about you take a break for ten minutes and let me catch you up?’

  ‘I’m all right, honestly. Sober as a… hairdresser.’

  ‘Are hairdressers known for their sobriety?’

  ‘They handle scissors, don’t they?’ She put her wine down. ‘Fine, I’ll take a break. But only because I can’t be doing with your stupid judgey doctor face.’

  ‘You’re mean when you’re pissed, Bloom.’

  ‘Hey. Sober as a hairdresser.’ She looked up at him. ‘Did you know my Aunty Fliss used to be a computer programmer?’

  ‘Seriously? When?’

  ‘Back in the sixties. Today, before she told me about being ill, she showed me all this amazing stuff she’d collected that she wants to donate to the museum. Honestly, it was incredibibble.’

  ‘Incredibibble?’

  ‘Shush. You suck, Will Barnes.’

  Will smiled. ‘You’re proud of your aunty, aren’t you?’

  ‘Yeah,’ she said with a sigh. ‘Out of everyone I’m related to, she’s always been the kindred spirit. I don’t know how I’ll cope without her.’

  ‘Well, to quote one of her favourite phrases, she’s not dead yet.’

  ‘And won’t be for a good few years, I hope. If I can only get her to listen about the treatment.’ She snuggled against him. ‘Put your arm round me again, Will.’

  ‘Okay.’ He stretched it around her and she let her head sink against his shoulder.

  ‘Overboard was a good choice,’ she murmured, yawning. ‘Possibly the most romantic film about kidnap, fraud and Stockholm syndrome ever made.’

  ‘You can’t go wrong with Goldie.’ He looked down at her. ‘Do you feel better after our wine and eighties cheese evening then?’

  ‘Yeah. Thanks for looking after me.’

  ‘Hey, it’s what I do.’

  ‘You’re a proper friend in need, Will. And I did notice that you’ve managed not to mention your brother all night, which I appreciate.’

  ‘I assumed you wouldn’t be in the mood for my attempts to pour oil on troubled waters.’

  ‘You assumed right. I’m much more of a flaming chip pan than a troubled water tonight.’

  The room was nearly dark now all the daylight had evaporated, just the glow from the coal-effect fire illuminating the two of them. Robyn watched the flames dance in Will’s dark eyes.

  ‘Will?’ she said drowsily. ‘Can I ask you something?’

  ‘If you like.’ He nodded to the TV. ‘Although you realise I’m totally missing this subplot with the minigolf course.’

  ‘Oh, you’ve seen it a million times. I just wondered…’ She yawned. ‘Okay, so I just wondered, why did you declare an interest in me at the surgery?’

  He frowned. ‘Who told you I’d done that?’

  ‘Mrs Sykes. She said there was a note on my record saying I wasn’t to be assigned appointments with you.’

  He shrugged. ‘I guess it just didn’t feel right. With you being Ash’s ex, and an old friend and everything.’

  ‘You’ve treated me before though. You treat loads of people you know, don’t you? I suppose
doctors have to in villages like ours with minuscule populations.’

  ‘It feels different with you. Suffice to say I wasn’t comfortable, and if I’m uncomfortable then you’re not getting the consultation you ought to.’

  ‘Why didn’t you feel comfortable?’

  ‘I suppose… because I care about you, Bloom. More than a doctor really should.’

  She smiled. ‘Thanks, Will. I care about you too.’

  ‘I should hope so, after I cooked you a whole Christmas dinner.’

  Robyn reached up to draw one finger over his rough cheek. ‘I wasn’t kidding before,’ she said softly. ‘Stubble really does look good on you.’

  She lifted her face to his and planted a lingering, wine-flavoured kiss on his lips.

  ‘Whoa. Hey.’ He guided her away. ‘Bloom, it’s me.’

  ‘I know who it is.’ She tried to kiss him again but he held her back.

  ‘Robyn, you’re upset,’ he said gently. ‘Upset and drunk. Don’t do this, eh?’

  ‘You don’t want to?’

  ‘You’ll regret it tomorrow, I guarantee it. Let’s chalk this one up to worry and wine and forget all about it.’

  ‘That’s not what I asked you.’

  He drew his arm away, frowning. ‘I know what you asked me. What are you trying to do here, Robyn?’

  ‘Oh God, I’m sorry.’ She pressed a palm to her brow, laughing. ‘Shit, Will, you must think I’ve lost my mind.’

  ‘It’s fine. You’re upset. Let’s just forget it.’ He stood up and grabbed his coat from the back of the sofa.

  ‘You don’t have to go. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight. Stay and finish the film.’

  ‘No, I ought to get back. Ash’ll be wondering where I’ve got to.’ He put his coat on and looked down at her. ‘Bloom, will you do me a favour?’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Will you… just stay away from me for a bit.’

  She groaned. ‘Now you’re angry. Will, I’m sorry. You were just being so nice to me, and the wine and everything, and you looked so… good.’ She flushed, turning away. ‘It was stupid. I’m an idiot. I wish we could forget it ever happened.’

  ‘It’s already forgotten.’ She saw his features crumple, the way they had at the last club meeting when she’d confronted him about avoiding her. ‘But please, I’m asking you this as a friend. Stay out of my way for a while. Just for a while, that’s all.’