Helena Goes to Hollywood: A Helena Morris Mystery

by CC Dragon

  “I won’t go off and it’s not about me.” What business did any reporters or gossip queens have at a family funeral? “I’ll be nice.”

  Harriet nodded and pointed at a chubby man pushing fifty in a gray suit with a pink tie.

  I walked up to him and took some food since that’s what he was doing. “Keith the Queen Bee?” I asked.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  He looked up and smiled slowly. “Well, aren’t you getting up to speed? The Hollywood PI is tracking me down.”

  “You’re at my brother-in-law’s funeral. I should have you arrested.” I kept my voice even and low.

  He shook his head. “I was on the list. Besides, I’m not interested in covering this.”

  For a second I was speechless. That never lasted long.

  “Then why are you here?” I asked.

  “You. Look, it’s sad Danny is dead but there’s no benefit in those pics for me. The truth is out there so my job is done. He was a soap actor and not going to be much more. If he was lucky he’d end up on a season of The Bachelor or something. Your sister had the morals to dump a cheater and no one can blame her for that.”

  “Not that my sister had anything to do with it,” I insisted.

  “The guy didn’t deserve to be killed either but it’s still news. It’s not my kind of news though. Now, Sonia’s classy and mourning him—very Heath Ledger. And that girl he was dating—who was she?” He rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Who cares? No one, that’s who. But that’s not going to be Sonia’s future. Your sister has the talent, the show, and the potential for more.”

  “You take one picture of her here and I’ll feed you your camera.” I filled a plate so it looked like a friendly chat over garlic dill potatoes instead of threats.

  Keith grinned. “Sweetie, it’s not about her now. Every tabloid will have a photo of her from someone here or before at the cemetery. Those are easy to get. You, now—you’re new. Most people don’t know about you yet. That’s what I do. I get to the people before the public is crazy for them. You’re halfway there.”

  “Contrary to what you or your website says, I’m not your creation. I’m not something to market so stop playing with me and my family. There’s nothing to know. I’m not an actress. I’m really very boring,” I whispered.

  “Please. You’re anything but boring. You’re a tech consultant on a new hit show. Not thrilling but technically you are in the entertainment business. Your sister is famous and at the center of a murder investigation and that murder has miraculously saved her old soap from cancellation. So you’re stuck. Sorry, but it’s all true.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “The good thing is I only print real pictures—nothing doctored so you are just you. Other outlets have picked you up since a murder is involved and everyone loves you!”

  “I’m not a ninja or a PI.” I took some prime rib. “Can’t you at least delete that title?”

  “That title is gold. Better, it’s platinum. Catchy and fun and very memorable. We’ll see which one sticks, but no one cares if that’s true or not. You’ve got a gun, know martial arts, are protecting your sister, and you’re in Hollywood right now. Those add up to your catchy nicknames.” He glanced at my plate. “You’re really going to eat all of that?”

  I looked down. Chicken breast, prime rib, dill potatoes, a little seasoned rice, and a roll. So I’d taken a little of everything that appealed to me. To make a point I added some butter to my plate. If there was ever a time for comfort food it was now.

  “Yeah, and if you take a picture of me eating—I don’t care.” I needed to get a handle on my rage and threats...it served no purpose with a gossip queen.

  His lips pressed into a thin white line. “Point taken. How about you give me an interview and I’ll be super good? Nothing unflattering.”

  “I thought you posted the truth. I don’t need you to be nice any more than I need to be a double zero. What’s unflattering now?” I couldn’t help but be curious.

  “The jogging picture. You’ve got no makeup on,” he whispered.

  “Who cares? I’m not doing an interview, no way, because I have nothing to say.” That artificial sense of power over the world when I couldn’t protect my sister or Danny would only work for so long.

  “Okay, I understand. Not while things are still under investigation. How about a picture of you and me? I’ll keep the unflattering stuff down on your sister for now if you promise to have lunch with me sometime. We can wait for the truth to fully come out.”

  “And you won’t put up anything about my sister, the case, or Danny until it’s solved?” I asked.

  He paused. “Well, I do news updates. I broke the news of his death but that’s just facts.”

  “Nothing more?” I challenged.

  “Okay, fine. You win. A blackout on them until the case is solved if I get you for as long as you’re here in exchange for a picture now and interview later.” He extended a well-manicured hand.

  With some doubt I shook it.

  He grabbed me by the shoulders and steered me to the kitchen. “Harriet?”

  Ten minutes later I had my picture taken with a Queen Bee named Keith and wondered if I’d made a deal with the devil or just one of his soul sucking minions.

  If I could hold down the gossip on my sister I might have a better chance to find the killer. Keith refraining from putting up shots of her and Danny was a good start. I didn’t want life to be a circus. So much was out of my control but I had to try.

  I found a quiet corner where my mom and Lou were hiding. I sat down and dug in. The food was a little cold by then but I didn’t care. I needed to eat, I wanted a nap, and I really wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

  I made it through half of my food when Emmy strutted up on patent leather heels so high I was afraid she’d tip over. But she was an expert and the black was in keeping with the funeral.

  “I’m so sorry, sweetie. What a horrible day.” Emmy hugged me. “Sorry I wasn’t here earlier, I had to find a sitter for Chris. Believe it or not his father took him.”

  “That’s good.” I set the food aside. “Have you seen Sonia?”

  “Barely. She was talking with that Faith woman so I did a wave-by.” Emmy looked beyond me and spotted my mother. “I haven’t seen you in six months! Oh Mrs. O’Malley, I’m so sorry.” Emmy moved on to the rest of the mourners.

  I wandered over with my plate to catch a glimpse of my sister and took up residence next to Ricky. Eating, I watched her hug Faith and chat. “What’s come over my sister?”

  “Death does strange things to people. Friends become enemies and the other way around.” Ricky nudged my arm. “Doing okay?”

  “I’d be doing a lot better if I knew who was behind it. You brought the girlfriend in, right?”

  Ricky nodded. “We interviewed her. Nothing odd in Danny’s behavior and no enemies she knew of. She didn’t even know about the gambling debts. Traumatized—it seems real to me.”

  I frowned. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the gambling thing but I have to cover all the bases. Can I see the interview tape?”

  The fact that Faith showed up and Carmen didn’t made me suspect Carmen more now. I wanted to look at every angle. Any of them could be after Sonia next.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Ricky’s eyebrow arched. “She said she and Danny were happy. We checked the house—no signs of a fight or that either was leaving. No airline tickets bought and nothing that would say problem.”

  “Who is the woman he cheated with?” I demanded.

  Ricky checked his notebook. “Carmen. Your sister said they used to be friends.”

  “Why didn’t Sonia tell me? Nice work, Danny. And his parents?” I chewed on a roll but felt like a dog with a bone.

  “They knew nothing about Faith. Nothing on anyone beyond the gambling debts.”

  “Dead men can’t pay but we should find out who he owed. Maybe it is an angry soap fan.”

  “Look Hel, Faith has an alibi. Pl
enty of people saw her at the gym and she’s on the check in like every day. That means your sister is still suspect number one.” He looked down at me. “Did Danny say anything to you?”

  I shrugged. “He said he’d tried to get back with Sonia before and it failed. When he was drunk one time he said he still wanted her. But he never gave any indication that he was going to leave Faith or thought Sonia would take him back.” I grasped openly at the closest straw.

  “I asked her about it and Sonia said she’d put her foot down. She wouldn’t take him back and it was over so he’d have no reason to think she’d give him another shot.” Ricky grabbed a couple of diet colas from a passing waiter and handed me one.

  “Thanks.” I sipped the drink. “What if Faith is nuts? Wants to make sure she’s the only one who can have him? Worried they’d reconcile down the line?”

  “Worried makes her a stalker suspect for Sonia, I’ll give you that. But this is Hollywood. Everyone is working with someone who has slept with someone they’ve slept with or worked with. It’s one screwed up town.” He took a long drink from his own cola. “Besides, I checked—no history of mental illness. No criminal record and nothing to hint that Faith is unstable or obsessive. I interviewed some people from the soap and everyone liked her.”

  “Damn.” I stabbed a piece of roast beef and chewed thoughtfully. “I want to go after Carmen now.”

  “I love an open and shut case as much as you do but this isn’t it. I’m going to get some food and chat with Faith, just to keep her on her toes.” He gave me a wink.

  “Thanks.” I guessed it was more to keep me away from Faith. Setting the plate down on a clearing tray, I finished off the roll and decided I should pay some attention to the mourners. If a fan got in, hopefully their behavior would tip me off. Or maybe Danny had another girlfriend or a jealous co-star or something I didn’t know about.

  As I finished my drink I heard a familiar voice behind me.

  “Lo siento, Helena,” he said.

  I turned and found John the rock star dressed like he was ready for Wall Street. Dark gray suit and a black and gray striped tie. His rock star hair was pulled back into a ponytail knotted at the back of his head so it couldn’t be seen. “Thanks. You really didn’t have to come.”

  “Of course I did. I offered my help and this is the least I can do.” John stood a little taller.

  I looked over my shoulder and there was Mom and Lou in close orbit. “Hello, I’m Hel’s mother. You are?”

  “John Martinez. Pleased to meet you.” He shook their hands.

  “And how do you know my daughter?” Mom asked.

  I had that uneasy feeling—like when you brought home a guy for the first time and the family was judging him. But I hadn’t brought John anywhere.

  “He did the theme song for Sonia’s new show, Mom. I met him at a party with Sonia to celebrate the series.” I made it sound casual but Mom wasn’t paying attention to me. Her eyes were fixed on John’s. “Good, he’s too young for you anyway. Todd should be here. At the very least, Ricky is more appropriate.”

  “I told Todd not to come. It’d only be a distraction.”

  “Good thing I don’t listen.”

  A chill ran down my back as I looked over my shoulder. Todd. All six feet and two inches of him. As good-looking as ever with dark hair, green eyes, and a slightly crooked smile.

  “Sorry about Danny,” he said.

  No one else in the world existed just then. It’d been a while since we’d been face-to-face. “I asked you not to come.”

  “I’m just here for the funeral. Sorry I was late. My plane was delayed.” He kissed my cheek.

  I frowned when I wanted to smile and hug him. I wasn’t a women who needed rescuing but even highly trained federal agents had backup.

  “You’re mad,” he said.

  “No, you’re right. This is a family funeral and you were part of the family. Sonia will be glad you’re here. I just didn’t want to look like I was calling in the feds.” I loved him in his charcoal suit. I’d picked it out and it still fit.

  “Todd, thank goodness.” My mother rushed over and hugged him.

  John grinned at the family fiasco. “I haven’t even asked you out yet.”

  “This is a bit awkward.” Lou shook Todd’s hand.

  “Not awkward. It’s right he should attend the funeral.” Mother nodded and glared at John.

  I ignored the men. “Mom, do you really think I’m looking for a date with all of Sonia’s drama going on?”

  My last nerve had been frayed and Mom had to dance an Irish jig all over it? John was probably relieved to know about all this crap before he asked me out. Assuming he’d ever even thought of it! I had over a decade on him and he had plenty of women hanging all over him.

  “I’m just saying you need to be very careful the sort of men you meet here. You’re not used to them. This fad of younger men dating older women will end and you’d be older and all alone again.” She gave a little head shake to the whole matter and turned to walk away.

  “You’re the expert in men now? Because Dad was a great catch. Excuse me.” I stormed off toward the kitchen.

  Todd followed me as I found Ricky grabbing something to eat. In the corner, Jordan and Harriet were hitting it off over shots. I grabbed a shot of whatever and downed it—the Irish knew how to wake and mourn.

  John entered. “Mothers are all that way, don’t worry,” he said.

  I grabbed another shot, not wanting to explain my dad reference. “She’s just crazy.”

  Jordan stopped me from a third. “Girl, these are potent so pace yourself.”

  “I ate already.” I downed a third and felt the relaxation kick in.

  “Stop there, please. They had three each.” Jordan pointed to the garden behind the house. Sonia and Faith were arm in arm. The door was opened and through the screen I could heard them singing a butchered rendition of Danny Boy.

  “Lightweights.” Still, I stepped away from the shots and grabbed a piece of cake.

  Ricky and Todd were getting reacquainted. They gave me a look that said I needed to take a step back and get a grip. John strolled off into the garden. He was the sort of easygoing guy that I should spend some time with. I looked out toward the garden.

  “Faith is making friends with Sonia? What the hell?” Ricky asked.

  “Go find out. I want to talk to Danny’s agent and her hubby. Todd, want to join me? Or you can mingle and go see Sonia.” I finished off my cake and searched for the coffee.

  Ricky took the hint and followed the two crooning ladies who’d loved Danny and now lost him. I couldn’t do this alone, but the urge to find the killer boiled in me.

  I held my liquor much better than my sister and was only slightly buzzed when I sought out Myra. Walking up, I had no idea what sort of reception I’d get. Todd opted to see Sonia first which meant I was alone approaching the agent.

  “Hi, I’m Helena, Sonia’s sister. I just wanted to say Danny spoke very nicely of you, Mrs. Andrews.” Using that funeral tone, anything sounded pleasant and consoling.

  “Thank you,” Myra nodded but eyed me warily. “He said you thought I had something to do with the stalking and threats.”

  Things zoomed straight past awkward, but it was true. “Sorry about that but I had to be sure it wasn’t a publicity stunt.”

  “I don’t use those sorts of tactics when it comes to my clients. Or former clients. I’m a professional. I did everything I could to help Danny,” she said.

  “I understand I’m not your favorite person but all I wanted to do was protect my sister. I never wanted anything to happen to Danny. Whoever did this to him might be after my sister next. If you have any ideas about who might have a grudge or a problem with him, please tell me.” I didn’t get anything sinister off this woman. She was indignant at being accused of anything dirty.

  No wonder she wasn’t an ace agent in Hollywood. She was too nice.

  “Danny said you rented him the hou
se. That was nice. Obviously it’s still a crime scene but once the police release it, we’ll try to clean out Danny’s things as soon as possible so you can rent it out again. I don’t want to cost you income.” I went with the practical approach.

  She nodded. “The police need what they need. I understand the floor will need replacing. The plumbing was a problem as well. Norm was always over there fixing something so that house needs work. Danny needed a place and we let him stay there before the remodel was done.”

  The husband walked up and stared at me like I was an annoying speck. Some men lived to intimidate. They could be friendly and calm when they chose. When they were in charge.

  “I don’t need my wife upset,” Norm said.

  “I didn’t mean to upset anyone. I just wondered if you knew of anyone who had a problem with Danny.”

  “Other than Sonia, you mean?” he shot back.

  Biting my lip, I scanned the room for Todd. No luck. “Sonia couldn’t kill Danny any more than Myra could. Whoever was stalking Sonia is probably who killed Danny. I want to catch this guy as much as anyone.”

  Norm shrugged. “I don’t know of anyone. I only knew the guy from the house rental and the television. Myra loved him as a client.”

  “I did. He was a sweet guy. Hollywood could’ve eaten him alive. He learned to survive here without turning totally self-absorbed.” Myra put a soothing hand on her husband’s arm.

  Todd strolled up and introduced himself to the couple. The tension diffused and it felt like old times. Todd and I were a good team. He softened my direct approach and I added a little dash of humor to his by-the-book FBI style.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  As soon as my mother and Lou headed back to Arizona Sonia flipped moods. No longer on meds, she started drinking and eating again. It was eleven in the morning on a Sunday and I was already hard at work on my laptop, searching on Danny and anything I could think of that might produce a lead.