One More Day

by Hadley, Auryn

  Mack nodded. Ryan's hand moved to her knee and rested on it lightly. Colby just clenched his hands in his lap as he sucked on his lower lip. Her father clasped his hands in his lap, almost as if he was praying.

  "Margins appear clean and clear of all signs of malignant neoplasm.."

  She went on, but Mack saw Ryan's shoulders relax, and he tilted his head back as he closed his eyes. He rubbed her leg, then reached over and grabbed Colby's shoulder. She tried to make sense of the medical jargon, but it was more than she understood. Words like squamous cell carcinoma meant so much, yet so little. She tried to guess if Ryan's reaction was a good one, or a very bad one, but she was too scared.

  Dr. Janis cleared her throat and continued reading. "Post operative scans show no areas of concern at this time. Recommend additional screening in four to six weeks for verification."

  "Really?" Ryan asked, smiling.

  "Really," Dr. Janis said.

  "I'm confused," Mack admitted.

  "They got it, Mack," he said. "They cut it all out, and can't find it anywhere else."

  "Thank god," Colby breathed.

  But the doctor held up her hand. "This is good news, Mackenzie. This is amazing news, but I have to give you the bad news with it. There's a chance that it has spread, but we just can't see it. That's why we can't declare you in remission yet. You will still need chemoradiation, to be sure that we got it all, and we will do all of those wonderful scans again."

  "But?"

  Dr. Janis smiled. "But there's no sign of cancer in your body at this time."

  "What are the chances it will come back?" Doug asked.

  "Slim," Dr. Janis said. "So long as she tests clean again in four weeks, the chances of a recurrence are less than fifteen percent. That isn't to say she can't get some other form of cancer, but her odds of that are no different than anyone else's."

  Ryan wiped at his eyes. "When can she go home?"

  "As soon as she can walk and urinate on her own. Another day? Maybe three at most. This isn't over, Mackenzie, but you're on the down hill side."

  "And I won," she said, laying her head back. "I'm gonna live for one more day, and pretty soon I'll even be all better."

  "Yeah," Colby breathed, running his finger along the dancer tattoo. "I'm taking you for a fucking ride on that bike when you're good again."

  Ryan chuckled at that, but didn't refuse.

  "How'd she get it?" Doug asked.

  "We can't be sure," Dr. Janis said. "Her HPV tests came back negative, but it's not a perfectly reliable test. It could be genetic factors, it could be from prolonged use of birth control, it could be a hard to detect strain of HPV. At this time there's no way to be sure."

  "K. So what does she need to do to not get sick again?" He was acting just like a paranoid father.

  "Same thing as anyone else." Dr. Janis looked at Mack. "Granted, you will need to be religious about your check-ups."

  "She will be," Ryan swore.

  "Then that's all we can do. Make sure we've truly got this, and make sure it doesn't come back." The doctor smiled at Mack. "I do like being able to give good news."

  Mack nodded. Most of it was good news, but not all. She knew that this had changed her life forever. "Guys, can I have a moment with Ryan?" she asked.

  "Grats, Mack," Colby said, patting her leg. "C'mon, Doug. I'll show you how good the coffee is here."

  "Thanks, Doc," Doug said, pulling himself to his feet.

  The three of them left, and Colby gently pulled the door closed behind them, tossing her one last, very relieved smile. Mack waited until the men had moved down the hall before reaching up to take Ryan's hand.

  "Hey?"

  "Yeah?" he asked, shifting a bit closer.

  "You know they fucked me up pretty bad, right?

  "They had to cut half of you out," he said. "Kinda leaves a scar or two."

  "Yeah, but - " She swallowed and looked down at their hands. "Ryan? It's not normal down there."

  "I know." He raised her hand and kissed it. "Mack, how long have we been together?"

  "Almost a month?"

  "How many times have I complained about our sex life?"

  "Never," she whispered.

  "Right. Never. It's kinda low on my list of priorities. There's a whole lot of things that matter so much more, Mack."

  "So, you don't wanna," she glanced away again. "I mean..."

  He sighed and gripped her hand a bit tighter. "Hey? Mack. I love you. I love being with you, I love seeing you smile, or watching you draw. I love that you're brilliant, and sweet, and that you don't back down when Colby's on a tirade. I love that you two are friends, and that he's tattooed you on his arm for strength." He reached up with his other hand and traced the backs of his fingers down her face. "I love that you make me feel like a good looking man, and a hero."

  She smiled at that and met his eyes, finally.

  "I also think you're beautiful. Fat or skinny, bald or with long hair. You're beautiful, Mack. You turn me on, and I sure as hell think of all the things I want to do to you. Yeah, I wanna make love to you. God, I want that so bad, but I want the other things more."

  "What if it's no good?"

  He laughed. "Baby, Dr. Janis talked to me, too. Problem won't be if it's any good for me."

  "Um," she giggled and glanced away.

  "So what if there'll be a few things to think about. So discussing it ends up a little clinical. Trust me, doesn't mean I'm any less interested. Ok?"

  "You keep saying that."

  "Because I mean it. Damn, Mack. The doctor just told me you have a hot, tight, little pussy, and I'm supposed to fuck you three times a week or more. To be the damned hero of this story, I have to sleep with the super hot chick that is gonna get me off like a damned freight train. Better?"

  "Oh."

  "Here's the problem," Ryan went on. "Because it's fucking amazing for me, doesn't mean it will be for you. You might not like it, or it might hurt. I could make you bleed, or get too excited." He sighed. "Shit. Mack, I worry about this shit as much as you do, but I've decided it doesn't matter. I'll figure out a way to keep you happy."

  "I just feel like..." she sighed and glanced away, not even bothering to finish the sentence.

  "Sweetie, can I tell you something?" he asked, shifting a bit on the bed.

  "Yeah."

  Ryan nodded and took a long deep breath, then sighed. "I'm kinda scared about the whole thing, too. You've built me up to be this perfect guy in your head, and I'm not." He pulled his hand free and rubbed at the corner of his mouth, glancing away. "Mack, what if I'm shit in bed?"

  "What?"

  He shrugged. "Not like I've really had performance reports, ya know? And now I don't just have to worry about getting you off, but not hurting you? God, I'm gonna be terrified, but I keep just telling myself that we have plenty of time, now, to make it all work.

  "Yeah," she said. "I'm really going to be ok?"

  "Yeah," he promised. "Looks like you're going to be just fine. I just hope you like me as much when you don't need me."

  "God, Ryan!" She giggled. "Why wouldn't I?"

  "I'm kinda boring."

  "You love art, and poetry, and really bad chick flicks."

  He shrugged. "I'm still just a fuck up who dropped out of school and runs a fucking tattoo parlor, Mack. I won't ever be anything else. One day, I'll be wrinkled and bald, and still just a damned drop out that does tattoos."

  "And a very nice guy," she said. "Ryan, I'm a mess. I dropped out of school - "

  "College, not the same."

  She shrugged that away. "I'm living off your charity."

  "Bull shit. You design more work than Colby and I combined, and we've done more tattoos each night because of it."

  "And my dad is flipping out because I'm not gonna have kids," she said softly.

  "What about you?" he asked.

  Mack shrugged.

  "Seriously? That's all I get after making comments about your hot, tight,
little pussy?"

  She laughed, but shrugged again. "I dunno, Ryan. I can't have them, so what difference does it make?"

  "I could probably hire another artist, and we could get a nice house with a back yard. Do all the right things to pass the checks, and adopt a few, if that's what you want."

  "Not really."

  "K. Then what do you want, Mack?" he asked gently.

  "You're gonna laugh."

  "Doubt it." Ryan rubbed her hand with his, refusing to let go. "C'mon, sweetie. Let me in just a little."

  "I want a puppy."

  He couldn't help it. He laughed. Trying to control it, he pressed his lips together and nodded. "What kind of puppy?"

  "I dunno. Something that's at the pound. A cute one, but it'd mess up the floors."

  "Laminate," he said. "Holds up to anything."

  "Can it come to the shop?"

  "Fuck yeah," Ryan said. "The back yard is kinda crappy though."

  "So not a Great Dane," she said with a smile. "I've always wanted a dog, Ryan, but couldn't have one. I never really thought about kids. Always thought I'd have more time, but I wanted a dog."

  "Mack, you can have anything you want. And don't tell, but I like dogs."

  "Can it sleep on the bed?" She bit her lip, and he knew she was teasing him.

  "So long as it doesn't lick my ass when I'm making out with you, sure."

  Her eyes went wide and Mack slapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh, that would be funny!"

  "For you maybe," he said. "So when you get done with all of this, you still gonna keep me around?"

  "You still want me to stick around?" she asked.

  He grinned. "Mack, I swear to god I do not have some complex that makes me have a thing for sick chicks. I just kinda had a thing for you long before all of this started. Figured I'd better not fuck this up." He reached down and pulled her hand to his lips. "Mackenzie. It's such a perfect name. I tried for so long to guess, and that is not one that came to mind."

  "Why didn't you just ask?"

  He shrugged. "Because you'd shoot me down. Look, I always have coffee at the shop, Mack. I fucking live next door, but I ran out one day, so bought a cup before I ran to the store. I had that paper cup in my hand, turned around, and saw the most beautiful woman in the world walk through the door. You brushed your hair over your shoulder, and I paused. I realized the fucking table beside me was empty, so sat down, and watched you make your way through the line like I was a damned stalker."

  She giggled, a little flush touching her cheeks.

  "Then you sat down at that table, and pulled out - of all things - a sketch pad! You were wearing this black suit with a baby blue shirt, and these heels. I figured you were some executive, working on a project or something, so didn't say anything. Figured you might come back, so started showing up."

  While he spoke her mouth had fallen open. She remembered that outfit perfectly; she hadn't worn it again. "Ryan?"

  "Yeah?"

  "That was the day I interviewed for the temp agency. I'd walked past the coffee shop, and decided that I'd stop afterward. I'd nailed the interview and thought it was a perfect treat. I drew the miniature dragon on the flower that day."

  "Damn, I had good timing."

  "Yeah," she breathed. "Me, too, I think."

  "Mack, since that day? Yeah, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. You don't think I'd stop now, after we've been through all of this?"

  "It's not over, yet. Ryan, I can't even sit up without help."

  "I'm not giving up, Mack. We're getting a damned puppy."

  She smiled, then wiped at her eye quickly. "I'm so fucking glad you suck at talking to women."

  "Why?" he asked, confused.

  "Because you didn't have the chance to find someone else." She laughed, but lightly, careful of her incision. "Because I couldn't have done all of this without you. Because you and Colby are the best things that ever happened to me. I'll even take the damned cancer to get you two."

  "Both of us, huh?" He grinned.

  "Yeah," she said. "You're kinda a packaged deal, but I'm not sleeping with him."

  "Nope. That's my job. Mack, it's going to be a long four weeks."

  Chapter 28

  The two guys had pampered her incessantly. For the first few days, Colby had even helped her to the toilet, joking about how close they had to be for him to help her piss. She was glad Ryan hadn't insisted on that part. She wasn't sure she could have lived through the shame of it.

  After the second week she'd made the trip to the doctor's office for her check-up. Her blood counts were better than expected, her incision was healing well, but Dr. Janis had prescribed an extra week of antibiotics and pain killers. After so many weeks of being sick, Mack couldn't help but worry. Ryan didn't seem fazed at all. It was almost a week later that the two of them cornered her.

  "You decide which tattoo you're doing, first?" Colby asked.

  Mack stood in the kitchen, wearing a pair of too-large yoga pants and a tank that used to fit, holding the container of kool-aid against her hip. "Something for the scar," she said. "Why?"

  Ryan stepped around her and grabbed the jug, filling her glass and putting it back in the fridge. "You want that phoenix, or something else?"

  She grabbed the glass and took a long drink. "A bit of both," she said. "I liked the petal wings, but bougainvillea instead of roses. I also want it to be colored more like a flame. Blues at the base instead of purple, to the bright yellow."

  "Wanna go downstairs and look at inks?" Colby asked.

  "Now?"

  They both shrugged. "You kinda missed Christmas," Ryan pointed out.

  "And New Years," Colby added.

  "What day is it?" She tried to remember, but her life had become nothing but endless cycles of treatments and days lost to sleep.

  "January twenty-eighth," Ryan said. "We thought we might do something nice for you to make up for it."

  "Ok?" Mack looked between them.

  "Unless you don't want that tattoo," Colby said. "Doc said you're good to go. Ryan gets to do the kinky bits, I'm gonna hide the scar."

  "Then I need to get dressed," she said, smiling.

  "Nope," Ryan said. "You're just gonna get undressed, so no point."

  She sucked back the last of the kool-aid and started making her way to the stairs, gesturing for them to follow. She walked slowly, still, but she was walking on her own now. The guys chuckled and joined her, both of them working to be the one that helped her down the stairs.

  "How bad is this gonna hurt?" she asked.

  "You're gonna tell us," Colby said. "Ryan already slipped you pain meds, and we still have the good shit upstairs."

  With that boyish smile, Ryan strode ahead of her, and into the break room. By the time she and Colby arrived, he'd spread a design across the table and raised an eyebrow. "What changes?"

  She sank into a chair as she looked it over. The outline of a woman was drawn, with a variation of the phoenix sprawled across her pelvis. The bird clutched a flower, and Mack thought it looked like a rose. It was good, it was very good, but it wasn't quite perfect.

  "Needs to go the other way," she said. "Then when I do the vines down my side, we can," she traced a line across the bird, to its claws, "put the bougainvillea in its claws."

  "Easy enough," Ryan said, flipping the paper over. "Colby, grab me her vines?"

  "Yep," Colby said, moving into the hall.

  He returned in only a few seconds and handed Ryan a roll of paper. With a look of concentration, Ryan traced the bird again, adding her vines into its claws. He made a few minor corrections in the second version, completely lost in concentration while he worked.

  "What blue?" Ryan asked.

  Mack reached out and touched a line on his arm. "That one."

  "K." Ryan hadn't even looked at her finger.

  "How far up before it goes to oranges?"

  "Reds too. Like a cross between sunset and a flame."

  He look
ed at her quickly and smiled, showing his approval. "Nice, babe."

  "Leave the high wing vague," Colby said. "I'll need to free hand a bit of that."

  "Yeah," Ryan agreed. "Probably need some black shading too?"

  Colby sighed. "How do you want this, Mack? Real, or art?"

  "Like the armor," she said. "So real you think it's flying away, not drawn on."

  The guys looked at each other and nodded. Obviously they had something in mind. "Any other changes?" Ryan asked.

  Mack shook her head. "No. I am kinda nervous, though."

  "Why?" Colby asked.

  "It's gonna hurt," she said, looking between them.

  Ryan looked up at her, catching her eye. "I doubt it, Mack. After everything you've been through? Besides, I'm going to be very gentle."

  "Colby won't," she said, trying to hide the smile.

  "Fuck off," he teased.

  Ryan just grinned, his attention on the design. "Colby, she's going to need a blanket."

  "Don't think she's realized this is a full nude yet."

  Mack's eyes widened a bit. "Um?"

  Colby just shrugged. "You can wear a shirt if you want, kid, but we'll be shoving it up over and over. Easier to just drape a cloth where we need it. Not like we haven't exactly seen you at your worst."

  "Not the same," she told them.

  "What?" Colby asked, laughing, "You want me to strip too?"

  "Wouldn't hurt!"

  "I can do that," he said.

  "No." Ryan never lifted his head. "You most certainly can not, bro. Blanket."

  "Yes, boss," he sighed, walking out of the room.

  "Still want this?" Ryan asked.

  "Yeah," she said, realizing how true it was. "Thought I had to wait, though?"

  "Dr. Janis cleared you. She added an extra week of antibiotics just to be sure, but said it's good for your psyche."

  "Oh!"

  "Hey?" he asked. "You don't have to get a tattoo. You know that, right?"

  "I want it," she said. "And I love that both of you will work on it."

  "K. Go in the back room and strip. Blanket across anything you don't want to show. I'll be in there in like three minutes."

  Mack turned to walk out of the room, then paused, gently trailing one finger under Ryan's chin until he looked up. Timidly, she stepped closer, and brushed her lips against his. The pen fell from his hand, and he reached for her, carefully caressing the back of her neck.