Double Deception (Mail-Order Brides 5)
Page 6
She looked over at Gloria with sincere gratitude and devotion. She was thankful for this friendship in so many ways.
So, after breakfast, Ella went upstairs to get ready. Finding that she was rather excited, she decided to put on her Sunday best, in order to make a lasting impression. This whole situation was fairly new to her and very exciting, but it was odd, because she was usually so very predictable.
Even when she made the decision to come west in the first place, there were many letters for several months before she was comfortable making the journey.
When Ella caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror before she walked out the door, she saw a woman who looked happy. She had not seen herself looking happy since William was struck ill.
“You’re coming around, girl,” she said to her smiling reflection in the mirror. “I think you’re going to make it after all.”
Chapter Eleven
The two tentative new friends set out on their day together. They took Alfredo’s buggy since Charlie had ridden in on his horse in a saddle. They started off in town at the Belmont Mercantile to pick up a few supplies for a picnic. After their basket was full of snacks and drinks, they headed out into the foothills.
The day couldn’t be more perfect for an outing. The sky was blue, the temperature was mild, and the breeze was comfortable. Normally the breeze in Nye County, Nevada was hot, dry, and unpleasant so the change for today was more than welcomed.
As they drove through the rutted wagon trail to the foothills, Ella tried to look at Charlie without him realizing he was being observed. As they talked, she was able to watch him more naturally. He could not have been more of a gentleman and his good looks were more than appealing.
He had a rugged look to him but he was a handsome man. She couldn’t imagine him in a suit and tie because the cowboy gear he wore fit him so perfectly. She couldn’t help but compare him to William and they were like night and day different. She was happy with the differences.
They finally reached a spot that would work perfectly for their picnic. Gloria had sent a very large blanket with them so they spread it beneath the little bit of shade they were able to find.
“What a nice place to stop for our lunch,” said Ella.
“Yes, there aren’t many places in the area that are good for this kind of thing. It’s mostly dessert up to the foothills.” Charlie told her.
“The mines are in the hills?” Ella asked. She was sure he knew the area very well and could answer all her questions about what was happening in the area.
Charlie nodded. “We’re not quite to the area where they start. They go a little higher to dig the mines.”
“It appears that the silver mines have been a boon to this city. I see some wealth in town.”
“You’re right about that. I fear that it won’t last, though. The mines are being emptied quickly and there’s not much promise of more based on the prospecting reports I’ve seen. Maybe something else will come after the silver’s gone,” Charlie said, hopefully.
“Until then, I guess Belmont will enjoy some prosperity. That’s not a bad thing,” Ella responded.
“Wealth isn’t a bad thing, you’re right about that. What I don’t like seeing is those who lose their minds when they get a little money. Have you been in town on a Saturday night after dark?” Charlie asked.
“Well, no. What would I see if I was there?” Ella responded with a little caution in her voice.
“You’d see drunken cowboys hanging out the window of Maggie’s Saloon, gambling on the sidewalk, and snake oil being sold to anyone with enough coins in their pockets to catch the salesman’s attention. The wealth makes for a better life for those who hold integrity dear, but for others it’s a path to debauchery.” His explanation was done in a disapproving tone of voice and Ella was seeing a bit into his belief system.
“I can see where a sudden influx of money can change a person. Are you a religious man, Charlie?” Ella asked.
“Yes. I believe in God, Ella. That’s a big part of how I make decisions in my life. I don’t have the calling that Alfredo and Gloria have, but my faith still guides my life,” he responded.
The spent the rest of the afternoon talking and laughing and learning about each other. Ella enjoyed a sense of belonging that she almost found strange for such a young friendship. They found that they shared many of the same core beliefs and they had a similar sense of humor. Ella felt in her heart that she had found her match. She just had to figure out what to do next.
They drove back to the parsonage in comfortable silence. Each seemed to be lost in their own thoughts about the day they had spent together. Dinner was waiting on them when they arrived and so was Thomas. They all gathered around the table where they ate, laughed, and enjoyed being together.
As Ella looked around the table, she reflected on the day. She was truly happy here and she wished this moment could last forever.
***
At breakfast the next morning, Charlie pulled Ella aside to speak with her privately. She was curious and alarmed at the same time when he asked her to join him in the main room but she followed him anyway.
“Ella, I want to be honest with you. I have never been interested in being married or having a family. My lifestyle has been focused on my ranch and the life I have there. I love my family that is spread through Nye County, and I see them when I can. But the ranch has been my life.”
Ella nodded at the information. Not sure why he was sharing such personal things with her so soon, she just listened without responding.
“I’ve decided to stay on here with Gloria and Alfredo for a few more days. Things at my ranch will be fine without me. I’ve sent a message to my hands that I’ll be delayed and that they should carry on with the normal tasks to run the place.”
“Well, it’s nice that you are able to do that, Charlie,” Ella replied tentatively.
“You’re the reason I’m staying, Ella. I just want you to know that. I’m not a smooth talker who will woo you and court you in style. I just don’t know how to do that. I think that we should spend more time together and see if there’s something between us. What do you think?”
Ella smiled at him in answer. He put his arms around her in a warm, promising hug. She felt at home and she was very excited to see what the next days brought.
The time they spent together was nothing like the time she spent with William. Charlie was unpredictable and fun-loving, with a whimsical sense of romance that William simply did not possess. He had told her that he wouldn’t woo her or court her in style. What he was doing was wonderful and it felt to Ella like she was most definitely being wooed in a way that spoke to her. He was making her laugh and including Thomas.
“Are you two planning to be here for supper tonight, Ella?” asked Gloria. The women were clearing the breakfast dishes away on Charlie’s fourth day in Belmont.
“I think so,” replied Ella. “I guess it could change, though. The last few days have been a whirlwind for me, Gloria. I’m overwhelmed a bit.”
“Are you unhappy, Ella? I think you’ve seemed very cheerful since you’ve met Charlie.”
“Oh Gloria, I’m blissful! But it makes me nervous. It’s all so different than what I’ve had before and I’m just not sure how to behave, really.” Ella continued to wash the dishes, but she had slowed her pace. She was wondering how much she should share about how she felt with Gloria.
“I am happy that you’ve met Charlie. I think you two could be very good for each other. Charlie has never wanted a family, but I always felt that was because he’d never met the right woman. Now I think my opinion has been validated,” she chuckled.
“Well, Gloria, you know I’m not the typical blushing young thing with a fresh view on marriage. I’m a widow. I have a son. I have baggage. I worry about that with Charlie. He’s never dealt with any of the things I have.”
“He’s resilient and he’s a realist, Ella. Don’t let his fun-loving side fool you. He understands your st
ory and it doesn’t matter to him,” Gloria assured.
“I do feel safe with him and I believe I can trust him. These are so important to me. I think part of my uneasiness is that I’m feeling a bit guilty. I thought I had finally put William in his place in my heart but I’m still struggling with it all, Gloria.”
“Is it the guilt of starting a new relationship or something else?” asked Gloria.
“Honestly, I feel stronger for Charlie than I ever did for William. I feel like I’m betraying him for that. I don’t recall ever laughing with William the way I do with Charlie. The way he engages Thomas – I can’t picture William ever playing with him the way Charlie does. I, um, thought that William was everything. Now I wonder if it was just gratitude that I felt for him.”
“Oh, Ella. Don’t fret, my love. You can feel differently for people even though they may play a similar role in your life. It isn’t wrong to feel this way. You were different when you were with William and you were also in a different world. It’s unreasonable to expect then and now to be the same.” Gloria reasoned.
Ella nodded uncertainly.
Gloria continued. “Does it really matter if you loved William out of gratitude? You did love him. You made him happy. He died being a contented family man. That’s worth much, Ella.”
“I hear what you’re saying, Gloria. I’ll try to reframe my thoughts. I don’t want to be so uncertain about Charlie that I mess things up with him. Um, I’m falling in love with him, Gloria.” Ella said quietly.
“I know, dear.” Gloria put an arm around her and hugged her to her side.
Ella went to her room to get Thomas ready for the outing they would enjoy with Charlie that day. She got all the things a baby needs to be away from home and took the bag with her to the main room. Charlie was waiting for her. He took Thomas from her and hoisted him up in the air. Thomas squealed with glee and Ella smiled broadly at the scene.
Is he really serious that I might be the one for him? Ella thought as she watched the man and the boy laugh together.
Thinking about her conversation with Gloria, she knew she had some feelings to resolve, but she believed she could do it for the right man. Was Charlie that man? She looked at his handsome face and fervently hoped he was.
Later that afternoon, the three of them stopped their walk to let Thomas have some play time. He was crawling now and he always wanted to explore. They watched him laugh and play until he got tired. He fell asleep for a nap almost as soon as he stopped going.
Ella took the quiet time to talk to Charlie about the future. “You know, Charlie, I’m wondering if you’re really serious about this or if I’m just a novelty for the moment. I don’t mean to sound crass or accuse you of anything unsavory, so please don’t take offense to my questions.”
He drummed his fingers on his thighs for a moment. She had learned that this was a sign he was in deep thought. Finally, he responded. “Ella, I understand that this has moved quickly with us. It has to if there is to be any substance to it. I live a days’ travel away. I can’t drop into town easily to court you. I feel a genuine draw to you that I can’t ignore. I hope you believe that.”
“I won’t be a blushing bride. Um, if we progress to that point, I mean.” Ella blushed both at the obvious information that she wasn’t a virgin and also that she had been the one to bring up marriage. She wanted to crawl under a rock, she was so embarrassed. She probably hadn’t needed to state the obvious.
“I realize that, Ella. I’m a reasonable man and I appreciate your honesty about your life and your history. I know you needed a change of scenery and I would imagine Belmont, Nevada is quite a change from New York City.” He snickered at the absurd comparison of the two places.
Ella smiled and asked, “Is that what Gloria told you? That I needed a change of scenery? I guess that is true to some degree, but there’s more to it than that. In fact, I was…well, I suppose I still am enrolled in the mail order bride program.”
“Oh?” he asked.
The uncertainty in his eyes made it clear to Ella that he wasn’t going to like this story. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t get herself into any more situations created by deceit. So she prepared to tell him the whole story and live with the consequences of telling the truth.
Ella nodded and took a deep breath. She reached out to hold his hand hoping that the physical connection to him would give her the strength to tell the story. She also hoped he would feel the connection to her and give her the benefit of the doubt when he found out about her dishonesty.
“Well, when my husband died, I was lost. I was a servant in a large house and I knew I didn’t want to do this for the rest of my life and raise my child alone in the servant’s quarters. I began writing to Dr. McCade and he invited me to come here. To Belmont. What I didn’t realize, was that he was looking for a caretaker, not a wife.”
“That sounds reasonable, I suppose,” Charlie responded. “I understand how you must have felt in those circumstances. I suppose you must have been angry to get here and realize you were expected to be a servant here, too.”
“Charlie, there’s more to it than that,” Ella cut in.
He looked even more puzzled at this assertion then he withdrew his hand from hers breaking their connection. “More? Alright. I’m listening.”
“I was also not as forthcoming as I should have been about Thomas. He was angry when I arrived with a child. He would have not followed through on an agreement if he had been honest about who he was. It was a big mess, actually, since both of us mislead the other. So, naturally, our relationship didn’t work. But now, I am free to do as I wish.” She sighed, “I am just so thankful for your sister. She and her husband have been extremely kind and patient.”
He stared at her for a moment and immediately, Ella knew that he did not like what he was hearing. He sighed and asked, “So, you lied about having a child? You failed to acknowledge Thomas?”
“It was a lie of omission. He didn’t ask, but I didn’t offer the information either,” Ella then looked away, ashamed, “I know that doesn’t make much difference, which is why I wish to be honest and completely straight with you now.”
He sighed heavily. “But I already know about Thomas. Telling me about your duplicity regarding him is easy to come clean about. What if there is something important that I don’t already know? I cannot help but wonder if you will be untruthful or conveniently fail to inform me of important matters.” He put his head in his hands in exasperation.
“Oh, Charlie! No! I won’t!” Ella exclaimed desperately. She saw the life she wanted with Charlie crumble in pieces. She needed to find a way to make sure that her biggest mistake didn’t take this man from her. “Thomas was the only secret I kept and it was because I wanted so badly to provide for him. What I did wasn’t for my own benefit. It was all for Thomas.” She lowered her eyes in contrition not knowing if he would accept her explanation or not.
Charlie looked into her eyes for a long moment. He broke the connection by looking away. Ella took a deep breath and held it. Then he said the words she was hoping to hear. “Tell me the whole story.”
Ella knew that he had opened his mind and this was her chance to share who she was with him. She would show him her raw, real self and hope he would understand.
“After my husband died, I had a very difficult time adjusting. I depended on him for everything. I saw him everywhere and I could barely function. I started realizing that having Thomas grow up as a servant’s son gave him no opportunity to be anything else. That’s what happened to his father. William was a butler in a long line of butlers. There’s no shame in that, but he never had any choice in the matter. I didn’t want Thomas to be just the hired help.”
“I get that part, Ella. I need to understand more than that part,” Charlie said.
“Alright, well, when William died, I knew there was no other hope of having any other life as long as we stayed where we were. I guess I felt desperate. As I was writing to Dr. McCade, I
just never got the courage to tell him about Thomas. I rationalized that he would come to love him when he met him. I rationalized that since he didn’t ask if I had a child, it must not matter. Honestly, Charlie, I knew what I was doing was wrong but I did it anyway. I’m utterly ashamed of that decision and as you can see, it backfired mightily. I’ve learned a valuable lesson about honesty.”
Charlie nodded slowly, taking in the information she had shared. He still didn’t respond, so she said the rest of what was on her mind.
“Until I met you, Charlie, I was certain that I would never be able to love again.” She looked up at the sky and added, “I would like to think that this was all a part of God’s plan, to bring us together. I feel my heart coming alive again and Thomas is thriving. I also believe that we can make your life complete,” she said boldly.
Then, unable to judge what he was thinking, she looked at him directly and let him see her integrity in action. “However, Charlie, I know this information is hard to take. I will understand if you don’t wish to continue this relationship. I recognize the weight of my mistakes and I am willing to bear them.”
“No, wait a minute, Ella,” he answered carefully. He was still gathering his thoughts to respond so Ella waiting patiently for him to continue. When he was finally ready to speak, he looked at Thomas and then at her. “I understand why you did it and I guess I even can see how it happened. I know you would do anything for your son and from your perspective that makes sense. Despite your dishonesty with the doctor, who I see has forgiven you…”
She nodded.
“I still feel as though I am able to trust you and believe you.” He then gazed into Ella’s eyes before he answered, “You have awakened feelings in me that I didn’t even realize were possible. I can’t ignore that. I have never felt this way about anyone before…and no matter what, I don’t want to lose you. I love you…and Thomas.”
Ella smiled as she felt her cheeks grow red once again, “I love you, too, Charlie.” She leaned sweetly into him and accepted his kiss with happiness and relief.