East End Angel

by Rivers, Carol

  Pearl closed her eyes, glad to be alone. Her head felt as though she’d run into a brick wall and her right shoulder ached. But when she thought of what might have happened, she had got off lightly.

  Pearl left Cynthia to sleep and went out to the kitchen. The first things she saw were Ricky’s soap and razor on the draining board. She quickly placed them out of sight on the shelf behind the curtains. Why had she ever agreed to him coming here?

  ‘It’s foggy out,’ said Ruby when she came in and shivered as she sat down at the Morrison. ‘I’ve just brought up half me stomach. If I ain’t pregnant then this upset is lasting a long time.’

  ‘We’ll see the doctor later.’ Pearl rubbed her shoulder whilst Ruby wasn’t looking. What was she to do? As much as she tried to gather her thoughts, they were in turmoil. What could she do? Ricky had said their secret was safe for now. What did he mean by that? Was he planning to tell Ruby if Pearl didn’t let him have his way? Had he been planning this all along? How foolish she had been to trust him.

  She wished she could get away. Then, as she made up the fire and the orange flames leaped up and warmed her, an idea came to mind. But it was a wild idea and one she would have to persuade Ruby of before she could attempt it.

  ‘Come in by the fire,’ she called to Ruby, plumping up the cushions on the couch, her hands shaking as she thought of what she was going to suggest.

  ‘Me teeth are chattering it’s so cold,’ Ruby said as she came into the warmth and sat down on the couch. ‘Does feeling as rotten as this always happen when you’re pregnant?’

  ‘I didn’t have much sickness, but the ankles made up for it.’ Pearl poked the fire distractedly. ‘Ruby, if the doctor says you’re pregnant why don’t you, me and Cynth go to Abingley?’

  ‘What!’ Ruby looked startled.

  ‘It will make up for not telling Mum and Dad about your wedding.’

  ‘But I can’t just go.’

  ‘Why not? Mum will be over the moon when she hears she’s going to be a grandmother again.’

  Ruby frowned. ‘I wouldn’t like to without Ricky.’

  ‘But he doesn’t want to go, does he?’

  ‘No, I suppose not.’

  ‘It would be nice if you could talk to Mum about babies and everything. It’s what I really missed when I was having Cynth. When Mum came down for that month and helped me with the breast-feeding, I never looked back.’

  Ruby nodded slowly, then she looked puzzled. ‘But Ricky’s hands are still bad. How would he manage on his own?’

  ‘He seems to do all right.’

  ‘I wish he’d come with us. I’ll ask him again.’

  Pearl’s stomach dropped. She had thought Abingley would be the one place Ricky wouldn’t go. ‘Have you ever thought that he might like a little time on his own? We’re always around.’

  Pearl was surprised to see Ruby look happier. ‘Yes, that’s true. He did once hint at that.’

  ‘Well, then, let’s go and see what the doctor says.’

  As she made breakfast, Pearl wondered if her plan would work. Maybe Ricky would think of something to stop them from going. If he persuaded Ruby not to go, then Pearl couldn’t go without her. What would happen then?

  Pearl held her hurting head. Why hadn’t she listened to Jim? She wouldn’t be in this mess now if she had.

  That night as Pearl sat by the fire in the front room she listened to the raised voices in the kitchen. The quarrel had started when, after supper, Ruby had told Ricky that the doctor had confirmed she was having a baby. Instead of welcoming the news as Ruby had hoped, Ricky had taken it badly.

  ‘If we are struggling now, how will we manage with a child?’ Ricky was shouting.

  ‘We’ll manage,’ Ruby replied in a resentful tone.

  ‘You’ll lose your job and there’s little hope of me finding one.’

  ‘It’s not my fault,’ Ruby began to protest. ‘It does take two to make a baby.’

  ‘Don’t you know anything?’ Ricky shouted, making Pearl jump. ‘There are ways and means of stopping them. It’s not too late, even now.’

  There was a brief silence before Ruby sobbed, ‘You can’t mean that.’

  ‘I most certainly do.’

  ‘You’d want to get rid of our child?’

  Ricky laughed coldly. ‘I never wanted it in the first place.’

  Pearl heard Ruby burst into tears. She wanted to go in there, but knew that she mustn’t. It would only inflame Ricky’s anger.

  ‘For God’s sake, stop it,’ she heard him yell. ‘Crying is about the only thing you can do these days.’

  ‘Why can’t you be happy about the baby?’ Ruby screamed. ‘It should be a wonderful thing for two people.’

  Pearl held her breath as Ricky’s reply was lost in the noise of a chair scraping on the boards. Pearl jumped. She was afraid of what he might do to Ruby. She rushed to the kitchen in time to see the back door bang.

  Ruby was sitting at the Morrison alone, her head in her hands.

  ‘Ruby?’ She sat down beside her.

  ‘Did you hear what he said?’ Ruby sobbed, revealing her anguished face.

  ‘Yes. I couldn’t help overhearing.’

  ‘I can’t believe he wants to kill our child.’

  Pearl couldn’t say that she had no doubt as to what Ricky was capable of. Jim had once said he was a bad penny and that was true.

  Pearl reached out for Ruby’s hand. ‘You wouldn’t do something like that, would you?’

  ‘Course not.’ Ruby looked down at her stomach. ‘Not after wanting a baby so much.’

  Pearl sat forward. ‘Ruby, let’s go away as I suggested. It will give Ricky time alone and perhaps he’ll realize what he’s missing.’

  Ruby wiped her eyes. ‘Perhaps that isn’t such a bad idea. He might miss me enough to change his mind.’

  ‘Let’s catch the bus tomorrow.’

  Pearl wasn’t certain if Ruby would feel the same in the morning but she hoped and prayed she would.

  ‘What if Ricky doesn’t like the idea?’

  Pearl thought quickly. ‘You could say you’re going away to think over what he said.’

  ‘But I won’t be. I’d never get rid of it!’

  ‘I know that. But if you start another quarrel, it won’t help the situation.’

  ‘You could be right.’

  ‘So go and put some clothes in a bag.’

  Ruby nodded slowly, the tears running down her cheeks. Pearl wanted to comfort her, but what could she say in Ricky’s favour? There was nothing. He was a violent and dangerous man and, although he had disguised his true character from them both, his real colours were now showing.

  On Wednesday they sat on the crowded bus filled with women and children eager to escape the V2s. Pearl sat by the window as Cynthia slept on her lap and Ruby dozed in the next seat.

  ‘Are we nearly there?’ Ruby mumbled as she woke.

  ‘Not far now.’

  ‘Me stomach is turning over again.’

  ‘Shall I ask the driver to stop?’

  ‘I’ll try to hold on.’

  Pearl smiled. ‘After this, you can sit still and let Mum spoil you rotten.’

  Ruby sank back, looking white. ‘I wonder why Ricky didn’t come home last night. I feel guilty when I think of not saying goodbye.’

  Pearl knew her sister was already weakening. Ricky had so much power over her, just as he had had over Pearl. It was a stroke of luck that he stayed away all night, although Pearl was exhausted from staying up again as she had the night before. The cat naps she had taken hadn’t lasted long. She had listened for every sound and had been so relieved to see dawn break.

  ‘It was probably sour grapes on his part,’ Pearl said with a shrug. ‘The note you left him will let him know where you are.’

  ‘It’s all right for you to say that,’ Ruby muttered. ‘Jim never told you to get rid of Cynth.’

  Pearl knew Jim would never be capable of such a thing. He was the kindes
t man she had ever met, without a bad bone in his body. Why hadn’t she taken more notice of the fact that he had got so upset over Ricky on their wedding day? She should have seen that Ricky had got under his skin like no one else ever had. Jim was trying to protect his nearest and dearest. If only she had been able somehow to prevent Ruby from marrying Ricky!

  Syd Jenkins was digging on his allotment, not that there was much left to save from the summer. Perhaps a few old, spotty potatoes and shrivelled-up carrots that somehow had survived the first frost. But he had found himself a nice barrow of pig manure from the farm. Enough to fill his fallow patch, a good start for the winter ahead. He smiled at the sight of the rich brown earth he had just turned over with his fork. This Oxfordshire soil was a real treat, compared to what he’d been used to on the island. All the veg he could grow for Amy, and some left over for the market! Life had been very good to them since they’d moved. He’d never dreamed that he’d enjoy his job on the gate at the aerodrome either. Not at nearly sixty, when a lot of blokes were staring old age in the face. He had his own little guard box to sit in and a pigeon hole for his flask and sandwiches. And at Christmas he’d got tips as well.

  Amy was happy in their little flat although she missed the girls and little Cynth. Syd couldn’t wait to pick his granddaughter up in his arms for the first time and give her a hug. But as for Ruby, the bitter disappointment of her actions still hurt. She was their golden girl and Amy had so many plans for the future. The day Ruby’s letter had come saying that by the time they received it, she would be married, had been a bitter pill to swallow. Amy had cried buckets. Where had they gone wrong? Was it the moving away that had caused Ruby to cut them out of her life? She had been very dependent once. Perhaps they had left her too early.

  He stuck his fork in the ground and sighed. He’d been over it again and again in his mind. If only the pair of them would visit. He’d met the lad only once or twice. Ruby was all full of him in her letters, but all that was needed was a handshake and a hug for Amy.

  Syd looked up at the glowing horizon. It was getting late. Perhaps he should stop whilst the going was good. Amy would have the supper on and about now she’d be ironing a fresh shirt for tomorrow. He liked to look smart in his navy-blue uniform and tie.

  Even so, he was reluctant to leave. The fine November evening gathered softly around him and the sunset refused to fade. You never got this in the Smoke, the clean, biting air and the big sky, unblemished by fogs. Last week there had been a few showers too, good for the earth and the remainder of his veg.

  He rolled a cigarette and stuck it between his lips. It was colder now, but his old donkey jacket and gardening trousers kept him warm. He looked down at his boots covered in mud. What a lovely sight! People didn’t appreciate just how lucky they were in the country.

  Over his wiry grey hair he pulled on his woolly hat. Ten minutes more and he’d really have to get cracking.

  Then he saw a figure coming down the lane. It was a woman and at first he thought it was Amy. But then his eyes widened in surprise.

  ‘Dad! It’s me, Pearl!’

  ‘Strike me,’ he muttered, dropping the dog end and opening his arms. His daughter, clad in a winter coat and Amy’s old boots, rushed into them. He hugged her tight. ‘Pearl! What are you doing here?’

  ‘Oh, Dad, it’s good to see you.’

  ‘You can say that again. I thought it was your mother.’ He looked over her shoulder. ‘Where’s the little one?’

  ‘She’s with Mum. The three of us came down on the bus. I said I’d bring you back for dinner.’

  ‘You mean Ruby’s here too?’

  ‘Yes,’ she laughed. ‘Me and Ruby decided it was about time we paid a visit.’

  ‘You’re not wrong about that. What about Ruby’s other half?’

  ‘He’s busy looking for work.’

  Syd frowned. ‘That was a rum do, those two getting hitched like that. Your mother was very upset.’

  His daughter nodded. ‘I knew she would be. But it’s not been easy for Ruby.’

  ‘Even so, she might have wrote.’

  ‘Ricky being in hospital changed everything, Dad.’

  He sighed, reflecting that he might have done more where Ruby was concerned. ‘We blame ourselves for not being around. Ruby was always a bit on the wild side.’

  ‘It wasn’t your fault,’ Pearl assured him. ‘Ruby made her decision and didn’t mean no harm by it.’

  He grinned. ‘Trust you to stick up for your sister.’

  She held her nose. ‘What’s that stink?’

  He laughed. ‘Pig shit, love. Horse dung don’t hold a candle to it. Come and see me shed.’

  Syd wasn’t inclined to ask more about Ruby. If he knew his wife, she would now be giving their youngest daughter the third degree. Not that an explanation wasn’t justified. When a dearly loved daughter just ups and marries a bloke you barely know, it leaves a nasty taste. But he and Amy had come to accept the deed was done. And Amy, God bless her, even whilst hurt and bewildered, would be in seventh heaven at this very moment.

  ‘Come inside and have a sit-down.’

  ‘It’s better than the Anderson,’ she smiled as she looked round at the forks, spades and rakes hanging from the beams. ‘And a lot tidier than our yard used to be.’

  ‘I’m a reformed character, love. Help yourself to that stool.’

  ‘Is this what they use for milking? You ain’t got a cow here, have you?’

  They laughed and Syd nodded. ‘The thought has crossed my mind.’

  ‘Dad, would you ever come back to the island?’

  Syd rolled himself another cigarette. ‘Would you leave all this, love, if you was us?’

  ‘No, don’t think I would – if I was you.’

  ‘What’s it like up there with all them V2s?’

  ‘We thought it was over with the V1s.’

  ‘Your mother worries, you know. Thinks you’d all be safer with us.’

  ‘Mum says you like your job,’ his daughter said, changing the subject.

  Syd knew that Jim wanted to go back to the council after the war. And they had a nice little home at Pride Place. No, he couldn’t see Pearl and Jim moving here, but what about Ruby?

  ‘Been there over two years now,’ he nodded.

  ‘I thought you was a dyed-in-the-wool boilermaker.’

  ‘You ain’t never too old to change, ducks.’ He patted her hand. ‘Come on now, tell me about Jim.’

  She smiled and her green eyes shined. ‘Last time he wrote he said he was still in Italy.’

  ‘The poor sod is probably exhausted after the desert.’

  ‘I can’t wait till he sees Cynth. Must get fed up with me saying how much we miss him.’

  ‘That’s all a man needs to hear.’

  ‘Do you think the war will be over soon?’

  ‘Next year, I reckon. It’s my belief the V2s are Hitler’s last gasp.’

  She shivered. ‘Oh, Dad, I hope you’re right.’

  He took one last gulp of smoke. ‘It’s getting parky. Let’s go home.’ He put away the stool and slid the bolt on the shed, then rested his arm on his daughter’s slim shoulders.

  She was still his Pearl, a bit older and wiser, but she’d always be that lippy little mare who he admired for standing up for herself and her sister. She had spirit, did Pearl. It was a bloody good job she had, after all that happened since ’thirty-nine. He wished he could be there for his daughters at Roper’s Way, but it wasn’t meant to be.

  ‘You are a little darling,’ said Amy as she lifted her granddaughter from the bath that night. ‘Look at you, all arms and skinny legs, like a little deer.’

  Pearl laughed as she wrapped a fluffy white towel round her daughter. ‘Mum, she ain’t never seen a deer.’

  ‘Oh, if she was here long enough, she’d see plenty. They come over from the woods, eating up all Dad’s allotment.’

  Pearl laughed. ‘Come to that, Cynth’s never seen a white bath before. Or h
ad hot water come from the taps and a real basin to wash in.’

  ‘If you and Jim was to move here,’ replied Amy, ‘you’d get a place with a bathroom. That’s what I keep telling your sister. Move down here, out of the way of them V2s. Your father could put a word in for her husband at the aerodrome.’

  ‘Mum, the V2s won’t last for ever.’

  ‘No, but I worry about Ruby. She was saying how frightened she is of them. And I can’t help feeling it was our fault she got married in haste.’

  ‘It was nothing to do with you.’

  ‘So she says. But leaving you both like that—’

  ‘Mum, you didn’t have a choice,’ Pearl told her again after enduring the same conversation several times since arriving. ‘Now, can we just enjoy being with you?’

  ‘Course,’ Amy smiled repentantly. ‘And who knows, one day I might persuade you both to live down here.’ She turned to Cynthia. ‘Now let’s get you dressed and snug under the sheets. Granny has made up a snug bed for you next to your mum and Aunty Ruby. Pearl, go and get a few extra blankets from the glory hole in the hall in case it’s very cold.’

  Pearl went to fetch the bedding from the spacious cupboard under the stairs. When she returned Syd was reading to Cynth.

  She sat on the bed, transported back to their bedroom at Roper’s Way. It had been half the size of this, with only a small window to let in the light. But it hadn’t mattered to two happy little girls who’d watched their dad hold the book so carefully in his big, workmanlike hands.

  * * *

  When Cynth was asleep they all sat round the fire and Pearl could see that Ruby had put aside her quarrel with Ricky as she told their parents about his search for work. When Ruby suddenly revealed she was expecting, Amy jumped up from her chair.

  ‘A baby!’ she cried hugging her daughter. ‘So this is why you came.’

  ‘I wanted you to be the first to know,’ said Ruby glancing at Pearl, ‘to make up for not saying about the wedding.’

  ‘Of course it has,’ said Amy, delighted.

  But Syd only nodded. ‘Congratulations, love.’

  ‘I wish Ricky could be here too.’

  Pearl knew that her sister was already regretting her quick escape. She wanted the fairy tale to be true; that Ricky would be the man she imagined him to be.