The All-Star Joker

by David A. Kelly

  “See?” Andy said. “The practical joker isn’t my dad. It’s the Rocket!”

  Sparky listened patiently, but shook his head. “Sorry, Andy. I don’t believe the Rocket is the joker. Everyone knows that your dad is famous for practical jokes. Of course, you’d love to have someone else to blame, son, but my decision stands. Josh is benched.” Sparky snapped around and strode out to where the team was practicing near the right-field wall.

  Mike, Kate, and Andy were speechless for a minute.

  Then Andy kicked at the red dirt of the warning track. “Now what?” he asked.

  Kate studied the stadium. “We need a break,” she said. “And I’m hungry.”

  Mike rubbed his stomach. “Me too!” he said. “I have to get rid of the taste of that gum.” He stuck out his tongue. “It still burns.”

  Kate grabbed Andy’s arm and led him up the stairs. “Let’s get something to eat,” she said. “My mom gave me money.”

  A wide walkway ran around the edge of the Royals ballpark. Mike, Andy, and Kate headed for the food shops behind the giant scoreboard in center field. Suddenly, music blared over the stadium’s speakers, followed by a loud splashing noise.

  “The fountains!” Andy said. He pointed at the long black fountains that ringed the outfield walls. The music kicked up again, and water from the fountains sprayed high into the air. Blue, red, and yellow lights shone up from the bottom of the fountains. Sheets of water cascaded down the front of the black fountain walls.

  “They look cool during a game,” Andy said. “Especially night games, when you can really see the colored lights!”

  All around them, ballpark workers were getting ready for the all-star game. Vendors were loading up souvenir stands. Food-stand workers were stocking racks full of potato chips, caramel corn, and cotton candy.

  Up ahead, a door to one of the shops opened. “Hey, Andy!” a man called. The door opened wider, and the man waved Andy over.

  “That’s Mr. Donovan,” Andy said to Mike and Kate. “He owns Donovan’s Custard. It’s the best frozen custard in Kansas City. Maybe the best anywhere!”

  “I’m just opening for the day and need some taste testers,” Mr. Donovan said. “You kids up for it?”

  “Sounds great!” said Mike. “But what’s frozen custard?”

  Mr. Donovan laughed. “You must not be from around here. Frozen custard is like ice cream, but it’s made just a little differently. It has eggs in addition to cream, sugar, and flavorings. I think you’ll like it!”

  Inside the store, shiny black-and-white tiles covered the walls. A long counter held all kinds of toppings, from peanuts to gummy bears. Two large silver machines stood behind the counter.

  “How about one of our famous concretes?” Mr. Donovan asked.

  Mike made a face. “No way. You’ve got candy bars, chocolate chips, and sprinkles. Why would anyone want something you make a sidewalk with?”

  Mr. Donovan smiled. “A concrete is a frozen custard loaded with all that stuff! They’re called concretes because they’re packed thick with mix-ins!”

  A few minutes later, Mike, Kate, and Andy sat on the stools in the front window of the shop. Mike dug into his dirt-and-worms chocolate concrete. Kate took big bites of her peanut-butter-pretzel concrete. And Andy worked on his cherry-berry-banana concrete.

  “This is the best ever!” Mike said in between mouthfuls. “My mouth feels cooler already!” He stuck out his tongue again.

  After finishing their treats, they said goodbye to Mr. Donovan. The frozen custard had definitely cheered Andy up. But when he saw the team practicing on the field, he sighed.

  “Unless we can think of something soon,” he said, “my dad doesn’t have a chance of playing tonight.”

  Mike tossed Andy his baseball. “Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ll figure it out.”

  Andy rolled Mike’s baseball from hand to hand. Finally, he shrugged. “I hope so.” Then he smiled. “Hey, you guys want to see something really cool?”

  Andy led Mike and Kate past Donovan’s Custard to the area behind the outfield shops. It looked as if they had stepped into an amusement park! In front of them was a giant merry-go-round with colorful animals and bright lights. Nearby were batting cages, a miniature baseball field, and even a playground.

  “Wow!” Kate said.

  On the side was an area filled with curvy brick paths and swaths of green Astroturf. “They’ve got a minigolf course here?” Mike asked.

  “Yup. The Kansas City Royals wanted fun things for kids to do,” Andy said. “So they added this outdoor adventure area. The minigolf is my favorite. It only has five holes, but they’re all baseball-related.”

  Andy grabbed three golf clubs and a brightly colored ball from a box nearby. “I’m taking blue, for the Royals,” he said.

  Mike grabbed a green ball. Kate thought for a moment, then picked a shiny red ball. Andy passed out the clubs. “Lowest score for five holes wins!”

  “I’ll go first!” Mike said as he ran to the first hole. A huge white baseball stood in the middle of the fairway. To score, Mike needed to hit his ball through the small tunnel at the bottom of the baseball and into the hole at the far end of the green. He dropped his ball and swung away.

  PLUNK!

  The golf ball bounced off the side of the giant baseball and wedged against the stones on the edge of the course. Now the only way to get the ball in the hole was over a hump on the side of the baseball.

  Kate shook her head. “Mike, you need to line up your shot first!” she said.

  Mike grimaced. “I didn’t want you two to feel bad when you miss the shot,” he said. “But watch. I’m going to get a hole in one next.”

  It took Mike three more putts before his ball made it into the hole. Andy made it through the tunnel on the first try. He finished in one more hit. Kate took three. She went first on the next hole. A big brown pitcher’s mound stood between the tee and a home plate with a hole at the end.

  Kate took her time and lined up her shot. THUMP. A solid hit sent her red ball up and over the pitcher’s mound. CLUNK! The ball dropped neatly into the cup. Hole in one!

  “Woo-hoo! I guess that’s what you call sliding into home,” she said.

  Andy scored in only two putts. Mike went next. He hit his ball so hard that it flew over the pitcher’s mound and off the course!

  After two holes, Andy and Kate were tied at four strokes. Mike had seven.

  For the next shot, they had to hit the ball through a baseball bat fence. There were only narrow holes between the bats. As Andy got ready to putt, Kate nudged Mike.

  “Good idea back there,” she whispered. “If we let Andy win, it might cheer him up. I’ll do it, too.”

  Mike raised his eyebrows. “Uh, yeah. Right. Letting Andy win,” he said, nodding. “I’ll make sure not to do too well. That was my plan all along.”

  “And you’re just the guy to do it!” Kate said with a wink.

  Andy finished in just two shots, while Kate and Mike took three. On the fourth hole, they all got two.

  The last hole was set up like an outfield wall. Three bright white jerseys of retired Royals players were painted on the wall. The golf ball had to go over a jump and into a small hole in the wall. Otherwise, it fell into a trap.

  Mike went first. He chopped at the ball. It flew off the jump and sailed into the wall. TWAP! Straight into the trap. Kate hit hers too softly. It dribbled off the end of the jump into the pit.

  “Nice shot, cuz,” Mike said. He held out his hand and fist-bumped Kate. “Good job lining it up!”

  Kate shook her head. “Your turn, Andy,” she said.

  “Watch this,” Andy said. He placed his blue ball on the pad. He studied the wall and then swung neatly. The ball raced off the end of the ramp, straight into the hole in the wall. Andy won!

  “Not bad,” Kate said. “I guess you’re the master!”

  “Great shot, Andy,” Mike added. “Maybe you should be telling both of us how to line
up shots!”

  Andy smiled wide for a moment. But then the smile faded. He pointed at the painted jerseys on the wall. “Those remind me of my dad. What if he doesn’t play tonight?” Andy scuffed the ground with his sneaker.

  Kate studied the jerseys. “Andy! That’s it!” she said. “I know what we have to do! We need to search the clubhouse for evidence.”

  Mike snapped his fingers. “You’re right,” he said. “I’ll bet there are clues in the Rocket’s locker!”

  Andy brightened up. “Great idea!” he said.

  Kate, Mike, and Andy ran past the food stands to the main walkway. The team was still down on the field. But instead of running sprints or doing exercises, the players were standing in a large group. They had all dropped their equipment.

  “That doesn’t look right,” Mike said. “Why aren’t they practicing? What are they doing?”

  Kate gulped. She couldn’t believe her eyes. “I—I don’t know,” she stammered. “But they’re pointing right at us!”

  Fountains of Foam!

  “What did we do?” Andy asked, holding up his hands.

  Mike, Kate, and Andy looked at each other from head to toe. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

  “Wait a minute,” Mike said. “Shh! Something is different. It’s quieter here.”

  Kate and Andy listened. They heard the sounds of a highway in the background. But nothing else.

  “The fountains!” Mike said. “Why don’t we hear the fountains in the outfield?”

  Kate peeked over the outfield seats. “Guys, they’re not pointing at us!” she said. “They’re pointing at the fountains!”

  Mike and Andy took a few steps forward. Kate was right. When they had walked by earlier, the fountains were shooting water far into the air. Water had cascaded down the black walls behind the outfield fences.

  But now the fountains were filled with foam! Huge white bubbles floated off in the wind. Jets of water blew hundreds of bubbles across the outfield. Waves of small bubbles washed down the walls of the fountains. It looked like a gigantic bubble bath gone mad!

  Andy grabbed his forehead. “Oh no!” he said. “Someone put bubble bath in the fountains! My father always joked about doing it, but now someone actually did!”

  Down on the field, the managers shooed the players back to their workouts. Stadium workers rushed around, trying to shut the fountains off. Large, soapy bubbles floated by. Kate caught a bubble in the palm of her hand. She looked at it for a moment, then blew it away.

  “Hey, now’s the perfect time to check out the clubhouse!” Kate said, startling Mike and Andy. “Everyone’s busy. Come on!”

  They ran along the walkway and down the stairs to the infield. They stopped just outside the American League’s dugout. In right field, the team was busy exercising again. Nobody would notice them. Just as they were about to enter the locker room, Andy stopped short.

  “Wait! What if the Rocket comes in and catches us?” he asked. “Kate, how about you guard the door? Whistle if you see anyone coming.”

  Kate nodded. She crouched near the top of the steps, where she had a good view of the field.

  Mike and Andy raced down the stairs into the clubhouse.

  The Royals’ clubhouse looked more like a hotel conference room than a locker room. A thick carpet with a big Kansas City Royals logo covered the floor. Laundry carts, tables, chairs, and workstations were spread around the center of the room. Big TVs and pictures of the players hung on the walls.

  “This is such a cool clubhouse!” Mike exclaimed. He looked around at all the baseball equipment. Each player’s locker was really an open cubby with shelves, hooks, and room for lots of stuff.

  Andy led Mike to Josh’s locker. It was about halfway down on the right side. An extra uniform hung from the bar inside. Cleats sat in a bin at the bottom. On the side of the locker were newspaper stories about Josh. Mike saw a picture of Andy and Josh playing baseball. Josh’s glove rested on a shelf.

  Mike lifted the big brown catcher’s mitt. It felt much heavier and thicker than his glove at home. Josh had wiped off most of the grease earlier, but Mike and Andy could see traces of the clear, slippery gel near the stitching and under the leather straps. They checked it thoroughly. But they didn’t see anything that would prove that the Rocket had greased it.

  “Shoot!” Andy said.

  “Okay, time for plan B, then,” Mike said. “The Rocket’s locker. Which one is it?”

  Andy pointed across the room. “It’s over there,” he said. “See the sign above it that says Richards?”

  Mike started across the room to the locker. But as he passed the long conference table, he pulled out one of the rolling high-backed leather chairs and dropped down in it. “Watch this!” he said. With a shove, he pushed off from the table and sailed across the carpet.

  “Wheeee!” Mike called out.

  “Mike! Put it back,” Andy said. “We don’t have much time.”

  Mike spun the chair around. He used his feet to push himself to the middle of the room. Then he slid the chair against the conference table and joined Andy at the Rocket’s locker.

  It looked like all the other lockers, with extra equipment, clothing, and shoes. The Rocket had taped two newspaper stories about himself to the side.

  They nosed around, but after a few minutes Andy shook his head. “I don’t see any clues,” he said.

  All of a sudden, a loud whistle pierced the air. Before they could move, Kate burst into the locker room.

  “The Rocket’s coming!” she said. Her eyes were big. “I saw him and Sparky heading this way!”

  Mike heard the click of shoes on the concrete stairs outside. He looked around wildly. Where could they hide? None of the lockers had doors that closed.

  “This way,” Mike hissed. The conference table had given him an idea. It was just like breakfast all over again!

  Mike pulled a chair out and signaled for Kate and Andy to crawl under the table. He followed and pulled the chair after him. With all the chairs around the table, they couldn’t see much, but that meant they couldn’t be seen, either. Through the chairs, Mike could just make out the bottom of each locker.

  A few seconds later, a pair of legs walked up to Josh’s locker.

  “That must be the Rocket,” Andy whispered to Kate and Mike. “What’s he doing?”

  A Surprise

  From under the table, it was hard to tell what the Rocket was doing. Mike saw him place a plastic Royals souvenir bag on the ground by the table. He pulled something out of the bag and then rustled around in Josh’s locker.

  Andy bit his lip and scowled. He looked as if he were about to say something, but Mike put a finger to his lips. He pointed to the plastic bag. Kate’s eyes got wide. She nodded and snaked one hand out between the chairs. She snagged the bag and pulled it toward her.

  They peeked inside. It was filled with things for practical jokes! Stink bombs. Fake insects. More disappearing ink pens. The Rocket’s bag was loaded with trouble.

  Andy’s face broke into a wide smile. He gave Kate a thumbs-up. But Mike waved his hand furiously. He tapped his head as if he had an idea. Then he mouthed the words “Watch me.”

  The Rocket was still moving things around in Josh’s locker. Hidden by the chairs, Mike reached out to the Rocket’s shoes. Before Kate could pull him back in, Mike had quietly tied the laces on the Rocket’s shoes together!

  As Mike slid back under the table, Kate gave him a questioning look.

  But Mike just smiled. Then he turned and shoved one of the big black chairs as hard as he could. The chair flew across the room.

  “Hey, who’s there?” the Rocket called out as the chair rolled across the floor. Kate, Mike, and Andy watched the Rocket’s feet as he turned.

  POING! The laces on his shoes snapped tight.

  “Whoa!” the Rocket cried.

  In an instant, his knees buckled. UMPH! The Rocket toppled to the clubhouse carpet in a heap!

  Mike jumped out
from under the table. “Don’t move, Rocket!” he shouted. “We’ve caught you red-handed!”

  Kate and Andy popped out in time to see the Rocket twisting around to face them.

  Andy gasped. “Oh no!”

  “Oh no is right!” Kate added.

  “Hey, you’re not the Rocket!” Mike said. “You’re his agent!”

  “Of course I am,” the man said. He retied his shoes, then stood up and dusted himself off. “I’m Tom Clark.” He scowled at Mike, Kate, and Andy. “What are you kids doing here? This is private property! Don’t you have school or something?”

  Andy stepped forward. “Yes, it’s my dad’s private property,” he said. “We were watching you. What were you doing poking around in his locker? And what did you put in there?”

  Clark glanced back at the locker. He read the name ROBINSON over the top of it. “Oh, uh, um, your dad’s locker?” he stammered. “I—I thought this was the Rocket’s locker.”

  “It’s my dad’s locker, and you know it,” Andy said.

  “Well, I was just leaving, kid,” the agent said.

  Kate peeked into Josh’s locker. “You pulled something out of the plastic bag and put it in Josh’s locker. What was it?”

  Before the agent could answer, they heard footsteps. It sounded like baseball cleats coming down the stairs. Everyone froze.

  Sparky walked into the locker room.

  He looked around, lifted his baseball cap, and scratched the top of his head. “Some kinda trouble going on? I heard voices down here. What’re y’all doing?”

  Mike, Andy, the agent, and Kate started talking at once.

  Sparky held up his hands for quiet. “All right, all right. That’s enough,” he said. He pointed at Andy. “Okay, what’s going on?”

  Andy explained how they saw the agent hide something in Josh’s locker. When he finished, Sparky checked the top shelf. He grabbed a big white plastic bottle.