Secrets & Surrender: Part One

by L. G. Castillo

  “Yes, I am.” I handed him a cassette.

  He glanced down at the tape and furrowed his brow. “Barry Manilow? You might be better off playing Rick Astley or somethin’ like that. Mandi likes that bubble gum music.”

  “Trust me. She’s going to love it.” I smiled nervously, hoping I was right. “Did you bring your guitar?”

  “Sure did. It’s leaning against the tree. That’s one hell of a song your gonna sing to her. Where’d you find the sheet music for that?”

  “I got lucky. Called up a store in Houston who had it. I’m surprised I didn’t get pulled over.” I had made the normally two-hour trip to Houston in an hour. “Okay, let’s do this.”

  Cody held the jambox over his head as Barry Manilow’s voice sang “Mandy.” I’d taken Mandi to see the movie Say Anything last week, and she kept going on and on about how the movie would’ve been so much better if the main character had serenaded his love interest instead of just playing the music. She mentioned that was how her father had proposed to her mother. He had gone all out, hiring a mariachi band. If I could, I would’ve hired a band, but I had no clue where to find one and I couldn’t play guitar.

  I sang as loud as I could, my voice drifting over Manilow’s. Lights flicked on, but it seemed like nothing was happening. Or maybe her parents thought I was some nut job and were calling the sheriff.

  Shit! They were calling the sheriff.

  I’d forgotten that I might actually wake up her parents. I was about to tell Cody to shut off the music when Mandi’s head popped out of the window.

  My heart leaped into my throat as I continued to sing. With each phrase, I held out my arms, taking a step closer, wanting her, needing her, begging her to come back to me. Her face was a mask as I sang, but her eyes, those dark captivating eyes held mine with such love. I knew I was winning her back.

  When the music grew to a crescendo and the final chorus began, I flashed a grin, knowing that what I sang next would tell her how much I loved her.

  “My Mandi, whenever you kiss me, you stop me from shaving.”

  She squealed at my intentionally botched lyrics and her head disappeared. Within a few seconds, she was outside, her eyes holding onto mine as I finished the song. When the song was done, Cassie and Mandi’s parents came outside, standing behind her. No one made a move as Mandi and I just stared at each other. I waited anxiously, wondering what she was thinking.

  “Hey, man. This thing’s getting heavy,” Cody said.

  “We’re done with that. You can put it down,” I said, not taking my eyes off her, patiently waiting for her to make the first move. I fought the urge to run to her and kiss her puffy lips and tear-stained cheeks.

  She was holding back for one very important reason. Mandi lived for her family. If I wanted to be a part of her world, I had to be a part of theirs. Tearing my eyes away from her, I turned to her parents.

  “Señor and Señora Ruiz, there’s something I need to say to you and Mandi.” I paused, taking a deep breath and hoping that the extra tutoring sessions I’d had these past few weeks would pay off. I’d lucked out when I found out that my calculus tutor had worked in South America for two years.

  In halting Spanish, I apologized for my parents’ treatment of Mandi. I told them how much I loved their daughter and would never do anything to hurt her, and that I didn’t want to be a part of a family that didn’t want Mandi in it.

  When I glanced over at Mandi, her face was soft and raw with emotion. The next words came out with ease. Looking at Mr. Ruiz, I asked for his permission to be part of their family and to allow me to move with them to San Marcos.

  Before they could answer, I turned to Cody, signaling him to get out his guitar. When Cody strummed the beginning notes to the song “Si Nos Dejan,” the same song Mandi had told me that her father had sung to her mother when he’d proposed, tears streamed down her face.

  I sang my heart out to her, believing the lyrics with every ounce of my being. I sang of how we were going to live in a new world and have a new life where we’d both be happy—if her parents would let us.

  After the last note was sung, I turned to her father, waiting nervously for his answer. Kind brown eyes, so different from my own father’s, gazed back at me.

  “He holds much love in his heart for you,” he said to Mandi before going up to me. When he placed a hand on my shoulder, I was staggered by the deluge of emotion I felt from that one simple touch, something I’d never felt from either of my parents. “It takes much courage to do what you see is right when your family sees it as wrong. Today, you are a man. Sí, you are welcome to come with us. You are família, Hijo.”

  I swallowed thickly at the words I’d always wanted to hear from my father. And this man, who had only known me for a few months, had given me more in a few words than my own father had in a lifetime. “Thank you.”

  After her parents went back inside, Mandi finally spoke, her lip twitching slightly. “The lyrics to “Mandy,” you got them wrong.”

  “Only the best for you.” I grinned

  She squealed and ran to me. I caught her as she leaped into my arms, her legs wrapping around my waist. The momentum knocked us to the ground. In that moment, I didn’t feel anything but Mandi. One hand held her against me, holding onto her tightly. I was never going to let her go again. I kissed her long and hard. It was like I had been deprived of air from the moment she’d announced our break up. Now, kissing her and knowing that our lives together were only just beginning, I felt her breathing life back into me.

  “What about your parents?” she asked when we finally came up for air.

  I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about them. There’re more important things we need to talk about.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like what type of corsage I should get you for prom.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “And when did I say I was going with you to prom? I don’t remember being asked. And if you did ask me, how do you know I’ll say yes?”

  I reached out and gently cupped her cheek, my finger stroking her soft skin. “I want to do more than just take you to prom. I want to be by your side when we walk through those gym doors so I can tell the world that you’re with me. I want to show everyone that I’m a better man because of you. I want to be the light behind your eyes, and the smile on your face. I want to be the one who is by your side when you get your college degree. Mandi Ruiz, I’m asking for more than just for you to go with me to prom. I’m asking will you be a part of my life, a new life we’ll have together?”

  My heart pounded against my chest as I watched her eyes searching mine. And though I saw love in her eyes, I had an unsettling feeling that she was slipping away from me.

  She didn’t say a word. Then I heard country music playing and Anne Murray singing in the background. I followed Mandi’s gaze as she looked at Cody and Cassie dancing. Her face softened as she watched them. It was easy to see how in love Cody and Cassie were. I wanted that same kind of effortless love for us.

  Turning to me, she said, “You’re going to have to learn to two-step. We’ll be lucky if they have any decent music at prom.”

  SIXTEEN: Mandi

  “Did I tell you how sexy you look tonight?”

  “Only about a gazillion times.” I inhaled Nic’s delicious cologne as he held me close to him. Could this night be any more perfect? “But I don’t mind hearing it again.”

  He shivered as I whispered the words into his ear. I liked this new Nic. Since the brunch debacle and his announced emancipation from his family, he’d been more attentive to me than ever before. Though most people wouldn’t count it as moving out when he was “roughing it” in his parents’ two bedroom, two bath pool house. And the fact that his mother continued to put money into his personal checking account didn’t exactly spell freedom either. But the money did come in handy because he went all out for prom. He had invited Cody and Cassie to join us and paid for them too. He even hired a limo and took us out to the mo
st expensive restaurant in College Station.

  I smiled as I watched Cody and Cassie dancing. Cassie was so lovely with her hair gathered up high on her head. The loose strands, curled to perfection by yours truly, of course, fell against her slender neck. Her pink dress fluttered when Cody twirled her in a fancy two-step. He then drew her to him, and Cassie pressed her cheek against his chest, her face serene. The shy cowboy ducked his head, kissing Cassie’s bare shoulder. It was amazing to see how much Cody came out of his shell when Cassie was around. And I’d never seen Cassie so much in love.

  As Nic twirled me, I caught a glimpse of Dillon and Seth. I frowned. “I can’t believe they’re here.”

  “Who?”

  “Dillon and Seth. Ugh! And Seth’s checking out Cassie, and in front of his date too!”

  “That’s Danielle, one of Bianca’s cheerleader friends.”

  I shook my head, feeling sorry for the poor girl. She looked so innocent with those wide brown doe eyes, just like Cassie’s but not as pretty. Seth was going to use her until he moved on to his next conquest.

  “Where are you going?” Nic asked when the music stopped and I made a beeline for Seth.

  “I’m gonna tell Seth that he needs keep his eyeballs to himself.”

  Nic drew me back into his arms, chuckling. “Don’t let those morons ruin our night.”

  “What if he does something? Remember what happened when Cassie went to the drive-in with Cody?”

  Cassie had told me after their date that Seth had threatened Cody at the drive-in. Everyone in Koppe knew Seth hated him and did everything he could to make Cody’s life miserable. “And I think it’s just a little too coincidental that all his dates lately happen to look like less pretty versions of Cassie. I don’t like it.” I threw Seth my best evil eye.

  “If he does anything, I promise I’ll do something about it. For now, let’s just leave it alone. I have a surprise for you.”

  “I can’t just leave it—ooh, a surprise? What is it?” Screw Seth. I loved surprises.

  “Wait for it.” He held up a finger for a moment, and then a ballad, that wasn’t country, spilled out of the speakers.

  “Oh my God! You got them to play a Phil Collins song!”

  Nic grabbed my hand and twirled me around, making my dress flare out in a series of red waves. When he pulled me back, I gazed up into loving eyes. He looked down at me, his dimples flashing.

  Mesmerized, I watched his perfect lips moving as he sang. Everyone around us disappeared. There was only Nic and me. He buried his hand into my hair, stroking the back of my neck as his sweet tenor voice sent thousands of butterflies into my stomach. He pressed his head against mine, his warm breath hitting against my lips when he softly sang about how my kisses made him shiver and how, when I was in his arms, nothing else mattered.

  The music went into a crescendo and he lifted his head slightly. Hazel eyes held mine tenderly as he sang how his entire world could fall apart and it wouldn’t matter because I was with him. I bit back the tears pricking my eyes when I realized the meaning of his words. His world was falling apart slowly in front of him. It was the only world he’d ever known, and he was giving it all up to be with me.

  “Don’t you agree?” he sang.

  “About what?”

  I blinked, trying to understand what he was saying.

  “About us.”

  I gazed into the worried eyes of the annoying boy I’d met months ago, but had then turned into the man I’d fallen in love with.

  He knows.

  My breath caught in my throat. He knew I was holding back from him. Though I showered him with kisses and admitted that I’d fallen for him, he knew I was holding a piece of myself away from him. And why? Hadn’t he proven that he’d do anything for me, that he really loved me? He’d never given up on me, even when I’d pushed him away. He was the one person who had total faith in me because he saw something in me that he loved.

  So why couldn’t I let him in?

  The way his parent’s looked at me when I first met them flashed through my mind. As much as I wanted to be with Nic, there was a tiny part of me that was afraid he wouldn’t understand once he knew about my family’s secret. I don’t think I could take it if he turned away from me once he knew.

  I brushed my hand over his cheek, relishing the feel of his stubble against my fingers. He was so handsome in his tuxedo, his hair combed back in soft dark waves. He was more than a beautiful face. He had a beautiful heart and spirit. I could trust him, couldn’t I?

  “Sure, we’re totally groovy together.” I pulled him to me, kissing him before he could say anything else.

  His arms tightened their hold around me as he deepened his kiss. My heart thumped frantically against his chest at the intensity of the kiss. It was different. It was as if he was pleading for more, wanting more than the lame answer I’d given him.

  I kissed him back urgently, promising I’d try.

  SEVENTEEN: Mandi

  “Are we there yet?”

  Nic smiled widely, looking way too excited as we drove down a winding country road. Stars twinkled against the clear night sky. The full moon glowed, casting shadows that fell across Nic’s handsome face.

  “Almost there.” He directed the car underneath a small bridge, and then turned onto on a gravel path that was barely visible from the road. He took the car down a dirt path that ran parallel to what appeared to be a small river.

  “Where are we?”

  “Five Mile Dam.” He maneuvered the car and parked it in a thick brush of bushes and trees, hidden from view.

  After prom, Nic offered the limo to Cody and Cassie. Nic had paid the limo driver for the entire night. Cody nodded, a whisper of a smile on his face. The little stinker knew exactly what Nic was up to. Cassie shrugged her shoulders when I eyed her inquisitively. Apparently, Cody and Nic were just full of surprises. Lucky for Nic, Cody wasn’t much of a talker and could keep a secret.

  We’d driven the two-hour drive to San Marcos. The SWT campus was spectacular at night. I hadn’t seen the college, which sat on the highest hill in the small town, except in brochures. Walking around campus at night with Nic as a tour guide was amazing. He had visited the campus a couple of times with his father when they’d first moved to Texas. Nic mentioned something about SWT being the current Texas governor’s alma mater and his father having meetings with other Texas college presidents at the SWT campus. His father had insisted Nic go with him because it was a good opportunity to network.

  “Father likes to take the back roads between San Marcos and Austin. For some reason, he thinks people are out to get him so he hired a bodyguard, who also happens to be his private driver.”

  It was no surprise to hear that Mr. Marcelli had enemies. The man was evil incarnate. It was hard to imagine that he could be the father of someone as sweet as Nic.

  Nic opened my door as he continued. “His name is Tony. He’s actually a pretty nice guy. Tony was the one who told me about this place and how it’s a nice private place to bring someone special.”

  Taking the blanket out of the trunk, we walked to the riverbank. He picked a spot and flicked it open. Then turning to me, he said, “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

  I swallowed thickly. Uh-oh. Here it comes.

  “Mandi, I know you have a hard time trusting me.”

  “I trust you.” He raised an eyebrow. “Okay, so maybe it took a while for me to open up to you. But can you blame me? I mean, how was I to know that you were serious about us?”

  “You’re right. I went about this the wrong way. And at first, it was because I’d never met anyone who’d turned away from me. I admit, girls usually came easy for me. But meeting you, you’re so different from anyone I’ve ever met.”

  “Of course, I’m one of a kind.” I gathered my dress and plopped down on the blanket. “You should be so lucky I let you hang with me, considering the lame preppie clothes you wear and the fact that you think Slash is the ultimate
guitarist.” I grinned.

  “That part is debatable.” He chuckled and sat down beside me. His face turned serious. “But not the part where you’re one of a kind. You’re the only one for me, Mandi. I hope you can see that.”

  “I do,” I whispered softly.

  “Are you sure?” Hazel eyes searched mine for an answer. “Sometimes I feel like you’re holding back from me. Maybe you don’t want me to go with you to SWT?”

  “No. Oh, Nic.” I kissed him gently, swallowing back the truth and hoping my kisses were enough for him. “I do want you with me. I—ouch!”

  “What’s wrong?”

  I pulled at one of the dozen red rhinestone bobby pins that held my mass of curls off my shoulders. I held up the flower-shaped rhinestone pin. “This damn thing’s been stabbing my head all night.”

  “Then why did you wear them?” He laughed as he helped me take the pins out of my hair.

  “Cassie thought I should wear my hair up. She said I have a pretty neck.”

  Loosening a pin, a strand of hair fell to my shoulder. He leaned in close, hot breath hitting against my skin. His fingers glided down my throat sensuously. “It’s more than pretty. It’s beautiful.”

  “Nic.” My breath quickened. His lips hovered over mine, tempting, teasing.

  “Mandi, I love you.”

  Warm hazel eyes held onto mine, waiting for me to say those three words back to him. I opened my mouth to tell him I felt the same way, to tell him there was no one else in the world who made me feel the way he did. The words were stuck in my throat.

  Instead, I crushed my lips against his. I kissed him with such passion that he jerked back, taken off guard. I clutched the lapel of his tuxedo jacket, deepening the kiss and keeping him close to me. I desperately wanted to show him the words that were trapped inside of me.

  My hands flew over the buttons of his shirt. I needed to feel his skin, his warm body, against mine. Nic moaned when I pressed my lips against his well-defined chest. Slowly, I kissed every inch of him. My fingers trailed down his muscled abdomen.