The One That Got Away

by Lexie Miers

  “Thank you.”

  “No, that’s not what I mean,” I said, bravely pushing forward with my plan. Hopefully, she wouldn’t hang up on me.

  “What do you want from me, Liam?” she asked.

  “Dinner, so that we can celebrate your new job.” And so I can get to know you again. As you are now.

  “I can’t.”

  Damn it. “If it’s a money thing—”

  “No, it’s not. It’s an I-don’t-think-it’s-a-good-idea thing.”

  I understood that, but still didn’t want to go along with it. Cassidy was the only woman I’d ever trusted, ever really loved. She was the one that I’d let get away, although, I’d been the one to leave. And damn it, I’d regretted it since.

  “Why not? We’re both adults. We can have a civilized conversation with dinner. Can’t we?”

  Another pause.

  “I suppose.”

  “Tonight, then? At seven? I’ll pick you up.”

  “You don’t know where I live,” she pointed out. “But then again, you still have my resume, which was how you got my number, isn’t it?”

  A grin stretched across my face. “You’re going to be an amazing lawyer.”

  “I’m not a lawyer, Liam.”

  “You should be.”

  “Pick me up at seven, my house.”

  I glanced at the resume and jotted down the address. “It’s a date.”

  “It’s not, okay?”

  “I’ll see you at seven.”

  I disconnected the call and placed my phone on the desk in front of me, grinning like a stupid teenager. I hadn’t been on a date in a long time, and the nervous tension began to shiver along my skin.

  I turned in my chair and glanced out the window, lost in the feeling of dread that had surfaced. Had I crossed the line or not?

  I probably had.

  “It’s not a date,” I muttered to myself.

  “You’re going on a date?”

  I whirled around in my chair and stared wide-eyed at Jenna. “When did you come in?”

  “Just a second ago,” she answered and cocked her head. “By the way, if you have to convince yourself that it’s not a date, then it probably is.”

  I straightened my shoulders and adjusted my suit jacket, although it was perfect to start off with. “It’s not a date,” I still defended.

  “Who’s it with?” she asked.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. I didn’t have to tell her anything.

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not leaving until you tell me.”

  I sighed, believing her. “It’s with someone I used to know... a long time ago.”

  “Right. An old girlfriend?” she asked.

  I paused for a moment, then stated again, “It’s not a date.”

  Jenna chuckled and shook her head. “Whatever you say,” she scoffed, and turned away. She reached the door and glanced over her shoulder again. “Wear that dark grey shirt of yours. It really brings out your eyes.”

  Before I could say anything, Jenna winked at me and left my office without another word.

  She was right—about a few things, actually. My dark grey shirt did look good.

  Cass had also said it wasn’t a date so I was just going to pretend it wasn’t.

  I didn't want to put unnecessary pressure on her or make her feel uncomfortable. I didn’t even want to try and show her that I was a good guy, because nothing I did would sway her opinion.

  I just wanted to have dinner with her, and celebrate her new paralegal position at Eric’s firm.

  After I arrived home, I took a quick shower.

  Afterwards, I wrapped a towel around my waist and stared intently in the mirror.

  It had been a while since I’d shaved my face completely. Usually, I only trimmed my stubble, because as soon as shaved, I looked like a teenager again. The curse of a baby-face.

  I didn’t want to shave and bring back all the memories from Crested Butte and hurt Cass even more, so I decided to leave it.

  I got dressed, wearing my dark grey shirt, with a pair of tailored black trousers. I quickly styled my hair, brushed my teeth and applied my cologne.

  A smile tugged at my mouth as I was reminded of prom night, when I’d spent almost an hour getting ready. I’d wanted to look perfect for her, and I remember my dad having to fix my tie a million times before I left the house.

  I’d felt so nervous I thought I was going to vomit. It had been strange for me to feel that high-strung, as Cass and I had dated for several months already, but that night was destined to be different.

  It had been the first night of a new stage in our lives. We’d planned on having sex for the first time, and we did, as cliché as it was.

  It wasn’t in a hotel room, or at an after-party at someone’s house.

  I parked my father’s truck at the end of Journey’s End Road, tucked up into the tall pines that gave us privacy.. And with an inflatable mattress in the back, pillows and blankets, we spent the night under the stars.

  It was pretty incredible, and a night I never forgot.

  I wondered if Cass still thought about that night, whether she still dreamt about the clear sky above us, or if she had scrubbed that whole episode from her mind because of what I did to her only a few weeks later.

  If only I could explain myself to her, tell her why I had done it.

  If only she’d listen to me.

  I wished she knew, that even though I left, it didn’t mean that I’d wanted to or was happy about it.

  Chapter Five

  Cassidy

  What the hell am I doing?

  Here I was, standing outside my house, with a flurry of butterflies whirling around my stomach. Six feet away stood Liam, wearing a dark grey shirt that made him look totally amazing—even more than I thought possible.

  I stood frozen on the bottom step.

  Maybe he’ll think I’m completely insane and leave me the hell alone.

  Maybe he already did, but judging by the way his eyes were fixed on me, he didn’t really care.

  “Hey,” he broke the silence.

  “You’re early.”

  “Yet... you’re ready to go.”

  True.Unfortunately.

  I bit my bottom lip and stepped down onto the sidewalk, which led directly to him.

  “Nice car,” I said. It wasn’t a lie. His luxury sedan was also sporty and sleek. I figured making small talk about his car would make it less obvious I was uncomfortable.

  I shouldn’t be, but I was.

  This wasn’t just a dinner between friends. Liam and I had history. A long and complex history that had ended so abruptly it still hurt when I thought about it.

  Yet, standing in front of him right now, all of those bad feelings just dissipated.

  “Thanks. I’ve been meaning to get a new one.”

  I scoffed at his feeble attempt at being modest but noticed he wore an amused expression on his face.

  “I was kidding,” he confirmed.

  “Right,” I nodded. “It really is nice.”

  He opened the car door for me and I climbed in. “Better than my dad’s truck?”

  He grinned coyly at me, his green eyes sparkling.

  My defenses gave in, and I said without thinking, “Nothing could ever be better than that truck.”

  Liam lingered for a few moments before closing the door, then slowly made his way around the car. He slid effortlessly into the driver’s seat, and as I glanced at him sitting beside me, behind the wheel, flashes of our past appeared before my eyes.

  Driving in his dad’s truck, singing to pop music and laughing—happier times we had shared. Our biggest argument had been in that truck too, only a few days before he left.

  I turned away, glancing out the window as my chest tightened, feeling like a dagger had been lodged into my ribs.

  Without a word, Liam started the engine and drove off. I wasn’t sure where we were going, but I didn't really mind. Knowing Liam, it would
be somewhere beautiful, as he had a knack for always finding something special, anywhere he went.

  He used to steal my camera when I wasn’t looking and take the most gorgeous photographs. Light reflection off the snow... a sunset where it looked as though the sun had set fire to the sky... a simple photograph of me throwing a snowball at him looked like a piece of art.

  My eyes teared up, but I refused to allow the memories to make me long for the Liam I used to know. The Liam I’d loved, the Liam who’d hurt me.

  It was in the past, and even if I allowed him back in my life, he would never have my heart again.

  I wouldn’t survive the pain of losing him twice.

  Liam parked the car and I glanced out the window. Where were we?

  Once I got my bearings, I realized he’d brought me to an amazing local restaurant that had a fairy tale dining room that paid tribute to the storied romance between a winemaker’s daughter and a local lumberjack.

  It was romantic and cozy, but it also had a bit of a party vibe, based on its location. I’d always wanted to try it out, but it didn’t quite fit my budget.

  Once we were seated, I looked around, taking in the amazing décor. I was in no hurry to give Liam my undivided attention. It was kind of strange being out with him after all these years.

  “You’re awfully quiet,” he said as soon as the waiter left our table after taking our drink order.

  “I just have a lot on my mind,” I admitted vaguely.

  “Is this weird for you?” he asked.

  “Yes, it is. Is it weird for you?”

  “Very,” he admitted.

  I sighed a breath of relief and we chuckled together.

  Liam met my gaze and for the first time I saw the vulnerability in his eyes. “I wasn't sure you’d actually agree to dinner.”

  “Neither was I.”

  “Why did you?” he asked.

  I hesitated, not sure how much of the truth I really wanted to share. But luckily for me, the waiter approached the table with our drinks.

  I accepted the glass of wine from him and once I’d take a few large sips, I handed it back to the astounded waiter. “I’m going to need another one of those.”

  “Right away, ma’am.”

  Liam glanced at me, jaw dropped.

  “What?” I asked. Hadn’t he seen someone drain a glass of wine in three seconds before?

  The corner of his mouth curled up and he chuckled. “Nothing.”

  “As I said, I have a lot on my mind.”

  “Will you tell me about it?”

  “Trust me, you don’t want to hear about my problems.”

  He leaned forward. “But I do. Come on.”

  I really didn’t want to get into my woes about Nathan and finances. It was a depressing topic, and even if this wasn’t an official date, I didn’t want to kill the mood too quickly. “First, tell me about you.”

  “You know everything about me,” he answered.

  “Up until ten years ago—or at least I thought I did.” I shrugged.

  “How’s your mom?” He asked suddenly, and all the breath went out of me.

  That dagger I’d been worried about, the one permanently lodged in my chest. Liam had just unknowingly gripped the handle and twisted.

  “She died,” I answered and his face dropped.

  “Oh my God, Cass. I’m so sorry. What happened?

  “She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, stage four, really aggressive,” I told him. “She died about nine months ago. I couldn’t let Nathan live in that house by himself. So, I went back to get him, we sold the family home and we moved out here. I managed to buy us a small house, outside of the city, and Nathan took the move better than I thought he would. He’s always been so strong, even when he was a kid. He’s twenty-two already. Can you believe that?”

  “And how is he?”

  “He’s as well as can be expected, under the circumstances.”

  “What does that mean?”

  I hated telling people this story. I’d told it too many times already. But unlike everyone else, Liam actually knew Nathan. Or he had when he was a kid.

  “He was in an accident a few months ago. It was really bad. He’s still in the hospital. He fractured his spine and he’ll need to have a few more surgeries before the doctor can say whether he’ll be able to walk again. We’re optimistic, you know,” I said, not sure who I was trying to reassure more—Liam, or myself.

  Liam’s eyes were big and round.

  “Cass, I had no idea you were going through all of this. Why didn't you tell me?”

  I stared at him like he was crazy, and actually looked away when I answered. What was he talking about? We hadn’t spoken in ten years. Why would I tell him about the intimate details of my life during a job interview?

  “I just did. I couldn’t exactly tell you on the phone, or at my interview, could I?” I narrowed my gaze at him. “I haven’t seen you in ten years. I wasn’t going to blurt out all my problems the first time I saw you again.”

  “Why not?”

  I tsskd at him this time. Seriously? “Because, knowing you, you’d want to act gallant and try to save me.”

  And he would... he had. Even with him leaving me and never calling, I knew he’d always do the right thing if faced with a problem.

  “Ah.”

  “I can take care of myself,” I defended.

  “I don’t doubt that for a second.”

  The waiter returned with my glass of wine, and took our dinner orders. I picked up the glass, staring at the burgundy contents. “I’m not here to argue with you.”

  “No. We’re here celebrating the fact that you landed yourself a killer job at a successful firm, and your future is a whole lot brighter now. Not to mention you have a way above average salary,” he said.

  “The fact that you know all this is very unsettling.”

  He chuckled and his eyes sparkled brightly, luring me in. “Eric is a friend. You needed a job, he needed a paralegal.”

  “Are you going to talk to him about this?” I asked and motioned to the open space between us.

  Liam’s gaze was suddenly darkened, troubled. “My personal life is personal, so no. I won’t be discussing you with anyone.”

  “Fair enough,” I nodded. “So, tell me, why’d you move here? To Denver?”

  “I needed a change of scenery after Duke. North Carolina was beautiful, but something was missing. My heart just wasn’t there anymore,” he lowered his gaze. “Maybe it was never there to begin with.”

  “You went to Duke, just like you wanted,” I said, struggling to keep the pride out of my voice. I remembered how excited he’d been the day he received his acceptance letter in the mail.

  “Yeah. After college, I decided to move back west. I wasn't sure where, but then I applied for a job here, and I got it. So, I packed up all my stuff and moved. Eight years later, here we are.”

  “Here we are.”

  “Uncomfortable as fuck, right?”

  A laugh burst through my throat as I said, “Absolutely.”

  “Why do you think that is?”

  I sighed and leaned back against the chair. “You know exactly why, Liam. We haven’t talked in over ten years. The way we left things was ridiculous and we’re not the same kids we used to be.”

  “I beg to differ.”

  Of course, you would.

  I rolled my eyes at him.

  “You’re still as beautiful as you were the first time I saw you,” he said suddenly, and my heart leapt in my chest.

  But the reality of the situation came in and cooled my cheeks. “You’re not allowed to say things like that, Liam.”

  “Why not? Don’t you think I’ve been quiet for long enough?”

  Yeah, I did. But a decade was past the point of no return.

  “You shouldn’t have been quiet in the first place,” I retorted and took a sip of my wine.

  He didn’t have anything to say after that, so we ate our meal in silence and
left the restaurant a short while later.

  I had a burning pain in my chest as I walked to the car, but I couldn’t make it all the way there. I simply stood against the bricks of one of the nearby shops, staring at the ground.

  “Cass,” Liam’s voice broke through the pain in my heart and I glanced up at him. “Please take a walk with me.”

  “Where to?”

  “Just down the sidewalk. I think we should talk.”

  Oh, really?

  “Now you want to talk. We spent the last fifteen minutes in complete silence, and now you want to talk,” I said bitterly and crossed my arms.

  “Please.”

  “Fine,” I agreed and set off down the sidewalk of the hip, Baker area with him. He led me down some steps to a small, sunken parklet that had paths lined with benches and trees strung with white lights.

  I was grateful I wasn’t wearing a tight skirt this time, because frankly, I’d had enough of stairs to last me a lifetime, which reminded me of something I wanted to ask Liam.

  “I have a question,” I said as we reached the bottom of the steps and Liam turned to me.

  “This should be interesting,” he chuckled.

  “How do you manage those steps in front of your building every day? I nearly died the first time I was there,” I asked.

  “I’ve never walked up those steps,” he answered with a grin.

  I frowned at him, demanding an explanation.

  “There’s a side entrance to the building from inside the parking garage.”

  I threw my hands up in the air. “Oh my God. Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

  “Only staff is permitted to use that entrance. They get a special parking pass.”

  I narrowed my eyes. He motioned to follow him, and I did, slowly walking beside him as we made our way along the path.

  There were a few people in the park, but walking beside Liam, made me feel like we were the only two people in the world.

  I knew I shouldn’t be thinking things like that, but being here with him dug up all my old feelings for him. Somehow it didn't matter if he hurt me, the past felt so long ago now.

  But I knew better than that.

  Well, my head knew better than that. My heart was still hoping that this man I’d loved for so long would be the one for me.

  “Do you like it here in Denver?” he asked.