“Reese, I know I love you.”
Stunned, she stared at him. She had been expecting him to say thanks but no thanks, but instead he had said he loved her. Can this be true? Wanting to make sure there were no misunderstandings, she said, “Wait.”
He dropped his hand back to his lap, but his smile remained. “What is it?”
She wanted him to touch her again, but focused on their conversation. “Didn’t you hear me before? About my father?”
He nodded. “So?”
He doesn’t seem to understand the negative impact that could have on him. “It’s not just him. You see, my mother is messed up too. When I was growing up, sometimes I wouldn’t see her for days while she was drinking.”
His smile stayed put. “What does that have to do with my love for you?”
His love for me? He really loves me? Joy suffused her at his words, but she still had plenty of doubts.
“What about your family?” she asked. “What will they think?”
“They’ll think you’re an amazing woman who overcame a rough childhood.”
She had never looked at herself that way, but as she thought about it, she could see how he could spin it that way. She tried not to think about Josh, her ex-husband, and the look on his face when he had told her she just wasn’t the right kind of wife for him, and that he no longer loved her.
Brody’s telling me this now, but what about when he’s face to face with his family? Will he feel the same way then? When they point out that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?
“I can tell you still have doubts,” Brody said. “But you don’t need to.”
He still doesn’t get it. The issue isn’t whether or not I believe him, the issue is the reality we’ll both face when his educated, sophisticated family finds out I’m not worthy of him.
Brody placed his hands on both sides of her face. “I love you, Reese. And I think you love me. That’s enough for now.”
She wasn’t so sure, but she was tired. Tired of denying her feelings, and tired of doubting herself.
He kissed her softly on the lips. “Do you trust me?”
That was one thing she was certain about. “Yes.”
“Then trust me on this. My family will love you.” He smiled. “And even if they don’t, what matters is how I feel. Okay?”
Reese nodded. As much as she liked his simple assurance, after the betrayals she had experienced in her life, she wasn’t sure it would be enough to get them through.
“Tell me this,” he said. “What if I stay here with you in Yellowstone until you’re ready to come back to Malibu with me? You can meet my family when we get back and I’ll prove to you that what I’m telling you is true. They’ll love you as much as I do.”
She wanted what he said to be true, wanted it with all her heart. You’ll never know if it’s true unless you give him a chance. What’s the worst that can happen? They tell you to beat it, and you leave? That’s no worse than saying good-bye to Brody now. At least you can have a few weeks of happiness before that.
“Okay,” she said, although she was still uncertain if it was the right thing to do.
He smiled, then wrapped his arms around her and held her close, and she felt safe in his arms, safe from all the terrible things the world could throw at her.
“I love you,” she whispered against his chest, saying out loud for the first time how she really felt.
He pulled back and gazed at her. “I love you.” Then he kissed her with a tenderness that confirmed his words, and she snuggled against him, content to have him by her side as long as he would have her, and not willing to think too far into the future.
Whatever Brody’s family thought of her, she knew he loved her and she loved him. Right now, at this moment, that was all that mattered. He had found her, and as he held her securely in his arms, she was hopeful that she had finally found the love she had been searching for.
Part Three
Surrender My Heart
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Surrender My Heart (Searching for Love, Book Three)
Copyright © 2015 by Christine Kersey
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
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Created with Vellum
One
Reese finished tossing the green salad, then glanced out the window of her RV to see if Brody had finished grilling the burgers. With a smile of contentment, she watched his profile as he flipped one burger, then the other, then her gaze went to the trees surrounding their campsite. They had been in Yellowstone for nearly two weeks, and she had never been happier.
“How’s it coming?” she called through the screen as her gaze went back to him.
He turned in her direction, and with a grin, said, “Nearly done. What about you?”
“Everything else is ready,” she said. “Do you need a plate?” When he nodded, Reese took a plate out of a cabinet and carried it outside, then held it out to him. But he didn’t take it from her. Instead, he wrapped his fingers around her wrist and pulled her close to him before leaning toward her and pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
With a burst of emotion, Reese kissed him back, still unbelieving that she and Brody had reached this point in their relationship. Though Reese had only known Brody for a month, during that time they had had to jump the hurdle of Reese’s fears over the truth of her background—her father in prison for selling drugs, her mother an alcoholic—and her fears that she wasn’t good enough for him.
Brody had assured her that those things didn’t matter to him, and as much as she wanted to believe him, she worried about how his family would feel about that information. Despite those worries, she had given her whole heart to him.
And that scared her more than anything.
She pulled away and handed him the plate, then smiled. “I don’t want the burgers to burn.”
Brody laughed as he took the plate from her. “No, that would kind of ruin dinner, wouldn’t it?”
Brody watched Reese as she climbed back into her RV and marveled that he had finally earned her trust. And her love.
A smile of soul-deep contentment curved his mouth. After Megan, the woman he had loved, had been killed in a car accident, he had believed he would never fall in love again. But he loved Reese Montgomery with a fierceness that stunned him. When he had first met her he had sensed the vulnerability beneath her independent streak. But it was only after he had gotten to know her that he had discovered how difficult it was for her to trust that those around her would not end up hurting her. Which made it all the more sweet when she had finally admitted her feelings for him.
Brody placed the grilled burgers on the plate, then carried them into the RV where Reese had set the table.
“I’m starving,” she said as she sat at the table. “That hike today wore me out.”
“Me too.” Brody sat across from her, then grinned. “I might want to go to bed early tonight.”
Reese’s lips turned up in a knowing smile. The night they had confessed their love for each other, Reese had invited Brody to sleep in her RV. It wasn’t only that she wanted him with her, although she wanted that very much, she had also worried that he was cold in his tent. Despite the fact that it was mid-June, the nights in Yellowstone dropped to nearly freezing, and Reese didn’t like the idea that she was warm and cozy in her RV while Brody was huddle
d in his sleeping bag, trying to stay warm.
“Are you sure you’ve been comfortable in my bed?” she asked with a slight smirk. “It’s only a double, you know.”
Brody’s eyes twinkled. “I suppose I could throw my sleeping bag on the floor in here.”
Reese speared a tomato. “Maybe you should. I don’t want you getting too used to having me beside you every night.” She was only half-joking. In reality it was she who had to keep from getting used to having him by her side. As much as she wanted Brody to be with her for the rest of her life, she was less certain that his family would be as accepting of her as he had been.
Family was important to Brody—that was obvious to Reese. And she wouldn’t allow herself to be the wedge that would come between him and his family.
“Hmm,” Brody murmured before taking a bite of his hamburger. Then he slowly chewed and swallowed before saying, “Are you having doubts about us already?”
She had zero doubts about her love for him, and she was confident that he loved her. But being in Yellowstone had been an oasis, and she was scared about the future. She hadn’t told Brody how Josh, her ex-husband and the only man she had been with before Brody, had told her only a year before that she wasn’t the right kind of wife for him anymore, that her background was a liability to him in his new career. And that he no longer loved her, that he loved someone else.
The thing that had made it so much worse was the fact that Josh had known her as a teenager, had known her background as well as anyone in her town. Yet he had married her and had promised to love her until the day he died. If someone who was from a humble background himself had come to the conclusion that she was unworthy as a mate, and then had dumped her without a second thought, what would keep someone like Brody—whose father was a plastic surgeon, whose mother was an attorney, whose whole family was educated and sophisticated and so above her—from jettisoning her like so much garbage over the side of a ship?
Reese knew the moment of truth was drawing ever closer and that she would have to face Brody’s family soon. The thought terrified her.
Her hand shook slightly as she lifted her glass to her mouth.
“Reese?” Brody placed his forearms on the table and leaned forward. “You know I don’t have any doubts about us, right?”
Forcing a smile onto her mouth, she set her glass on the table. “I know.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Partly pleased that he had gotten to know her so well that he could tell something was bothering her, she was also guarded. Not wanting to have the conversation they had already had several times—the one where he reassured her that his family would love her—she changed the subject. “I was just wondering if we should have a campfire tonight.”
Two
Brody tilted his head in question. He suspected that wasn’t all she was thinking about. “We could, if you’d like.”
She smiled. “Sure, why not?”
Brody decided it was time to talk to her about something that had been on his mind for the last couple of days, something he knew she had been avoiding. I’ll bring it up tonight when we’re sitting by the fire.
After they had cleaned up from dinner, Brody got the fire going. It wasn’t dark yet, but he was eager to discuss what he had been thinking about.
“I love the smell of a campfire,” Reese said as she pulled her chair closer to the fire and sat down. “Maybe we should get some marshmallows to roast tomorrow.”
She’s talking about tomorrow. That’s a good opening.
Brody pulled his chair next to hers, angling it slightly in her direction, then sat down. “Speaking of tomorrow, I have an idea of what we should do.”
She turned to him, a happy smile on her face. “What?”
Worried that the look of joy would swiftly be replaced with self-doubt and fear, Brody hesitated. We have to do this eventually. We can’t stay here forever. “Well, I was thinking it was time to head back to Malibu.”
The smile slid from her face, and the skin around her eyes seemed to tighten.
Brody took her hands in his. “Don’t you think it’s time?”
She didn’t deny it, but she didn’t nod in agreement either.
The fire crackled beside them, and the smell of wood smoke filled the air.
“I wish you weren’t so nervous about this,” he said, frustrated that she didn’t trust that his family wouldn’t care about how screwed up her family was. When she had first told him her father was in prison and her mother was an alcoholic, he had to admit, it had given him pause. But he loved her so much, it had only taken a moment for him to know he didn’t care about that. And he believed his family wouldn’t care either.
“I can’t help it,” she said as her grip on his hands tightened and her gaze remained steady on his. “I know how…people…can be. That’s all.”
He wondered what people she meant, but didn’t want to push her. He knew she would tell him when she was ready. “My family isn’t like that, Reese.”
Reese looked at the earnest expression on Brody’s face and knew he believed what he was saying. But her experience had taught her that people could disappoint you. That they weren’t always who you believed them to be. Prime example number one: Josh, her ex-husband.
She looked away from Brody and stared at the fire, but she didn’t let go of his hands. They were like an anchor, keeping her from floating away on her bad memories.
“I love you, Reese. With all my heart.”
His voice and his words drew her attention back to his face—those blue-green eyes, so much like the ocean, always drew her in. “I love you too.”
“Then trust me on this. Okay?”
He knows his family. Maybe he’s right. Maybe they’ll accept me. Deep down she had her doubts, but she knew she had to face reality, had to face the future. Ever since she had told Brody she loved him less than two weeks before, she had known their time together could end, and she had decided to gather as many memories of him as she could before she might have to say good-bye. Every day they had been together in Yellowstone she had known full well that they would eventually have to leave. It was time now to show her courage. “Okay.”
Brody looked uncertain. “Are you saying you’re ready to head back to Malibu in the morning?”
No. “If that’s what you want, then I’ll do it.”
Brody appreciated Reese’s willingness to do what he wanted—and he knew it was time—but he couldn’t help but feel guilty for putting her in a position she obviously didn’t want to be in.
She let go of his hands and faced the fire. “What does your family know about me?”
Not much. “Well, I’ve talked to Logan a few times since I’ve been here, but he’s the only one. So to tell you the truth, I don’t know what he’s told Avery or my parents.”
Reese turned to look at him. “What did you tell Logan?”
He studied her face, then his heart warmed with love. “Just how much I love you and how wonderful you are.”
A laugh burst from her mouth and she gently shoved his arm. “Stop. I’m being serious.”
Doesn’t she believe me? “So am I.” And he was. He had told Logan that Reese had said she loved him, and that he loved her. Logan had seemed happy for him, although he could tell Logan wanted the chance to get to know Reese for himself before he would wholeheartedly put his stamp of approval on her. Maybe Logan thinks I’m just on the rebound from losing Megan. But once he gets to know Reese, he’ll see why I love her.
Reese nodded. “Okay. Well, what does he know about my background?”
“Nothing. He just knows you’re a photographer who’s captured my heart.” Hoping his lighthearted approach would calm her, he leaned towards her and kissed her on the lips.
Reese knew Brody was trying to settle her nerves, but it wasn’t working. His family knew nothing about her. And besides Logan, none of them hadn’t even met her. Do they even know I exist?
She accepted his kiss, but her hear
t wasn’t in it.
What is wrong with you, Reese? You love this man with all your heart, and instead of enjoying your time together—which may be limited—you’re thinking about what ifs that you may not even need to worry about. Get it together.
Pushing aside her worries, she focused on Brody, sliding her arms around his neck and kissing him with all the love she felt. Clinging to him, really, and wondering how much longer he would be in her life.
“Whoa, Reese,” he said as he pulled away slightly, his voice husky. “Let me put this fire out before we start a new one.”
She laughed, then watched as he shoveled dirt onto the fire until it was embers. When he was done, he turned to her and took her hand, then led her into the RV.
Three
When the sun shone between the slats of the blinds the next morning, Reese squeezed her eyes closed, wishing the day would wait to start, if just for a little while. Brody stirred beside her, and she opened her eyes and turned to him, savoring their last morning in Yellowstone, their last morning with their focus on each other.
“You’re awake early,” Brody said as he propped himself up on his elbow. “I thought for sure you’d sleep in after we were up so late last night.”
They had stayed up later than normal, enjoying spending time together. For her at least, it had been because of her secret fear that this idyllic time in her life was coming to a close and she needed to store up powerful memories of life with Brody. Because deep down she believed it wouldn’t last.
“I slept well,” she said, pasting a smile onto her mouth. “And I know we have a long drive today.”
Searching for Love: The Complete Story Page 19
