Eternal
Page 12
“Does that mean he’ll be going to jail? Maybe to prison?”
“Let me put it this way. I doubt he’ll be roaming your neighborhood peeking in people’s windows.”
Mom allows a hopeful smile to melt some of the tension off her face.
“It’s such a relief to hear that. Thank you so much for taking care of this quickly.”
I stare at a smudge mark on the living room wall. The deputy’s news should make me feel better, but it doesn’t.
Lily pulls me from my troubled thoughts with a shoulder bump and a giggle.
“Chin,” she whispers.
“What?”
“Harold Chin.”
I frown.
“Don’t you get it?”
“Obviously not.”
“Harold Chin,” she repeats. “Harry Chin.”
“All right. I get it.”
I force a smile and a laugh, but Lily sees I’m not amused.
“Come on, Jen,” she says. “Lighten up. Everything’s going to be okay now.”
I wish I shared her optimism.
“Will you do something for me?” I ask.
“Sure. What is it?”
“That picture you took… I need you to text it to my phone.”
“Why?”
“I…need to figure something out. The picture might help me with it.”
“Don’t you think it would be better to get his face out of your mind? You’re going to have nightmares if you don’t.”
“I already have nightmares, Lily. That man has been stalking me for over a week now. He was following me in San Francisco, and he was outside my house two nights ago. This isn’t the first time he’s come here looking for me.”
Lily’s grin fades.
“Are you kidding me?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I wish I was.”
“All right,” she says. “Give me just a minute, okay?”
Her hands are shaking when she flips her cell phone open. I stare out the front window while she attaches the picture to a text. Meanwhile, our nosey neighbor from across the street stands out on his front porch, gawking at the deputy’s black and white squad car.
“Thank you so much, Deputy Brinkman,” I hear Mom say. “If you need any more information from us, please don’t hesitate to call.”
“Thank you for your cooperation, Mrs. Clark.”
My phone vibrates. Lily’s text has arrived. When I open it, Harold Chin’s mildly surprised face looks back at me. I don’t get time to study it, because Mom locks the door and turns to check on Lily and me.
“Are you two girls going to be okay? You’ve had a very unsettling experience.”
“We’ll be fine,” I say. “Thanks for rushing home so fast, Mom. I’m sorry. You’ve been leaving work early a lot because of me.”
“It’s not your fault, Jenna.” Mom leans toward me, brushes my hair aside, and kisses my forehead. “Things happen. But one thing that won’t happen is dinner if I don’t start making it now.”
She touches Lily’s shoulder.
“Thank you again, Lily. Your quick thinking saved Jenna and me from what would have been a long, sleepless night.”
Lily nods sheepishly. “No problem, Mrs. Clark.”
We wait for Mom to stride off into the kitchen before we speak again.
“Stalking you?” Lily asks.
I nod.
“But they have him in custody now. He won’t be bothering you again. Everything will be all right.”
“He has something to do with my dreams,” I say. “He knows about them. There’s another version of him in Jade’s world. I don’t remember where I saw his face, but I know his link—his alternate self—is there.”
“His ‘link’?”
“It’s something to do with shared brain waves. It’s too complicated to explain. I’ll have to tell you about it later.”
“My dad will be coming to get me soon,” she says, changing the subject. “Too bad he didn’t show up in the Yellow Beast while Harry Chin was at the window. The Beast would have backfired and given good ol’ Harry a stroke. Then we wouldn’t have even had to bother with the police.”
This time I give her a reluctant but real laugh and a grin lights her worried face.
“Try to get some sleep tonight,” she says. “Those dark circles under your eyes are getting scary.”
“Yeah,” I respond. “I’ll try.”
No reason to upset or worry her by admitting I never intend to sleep again.
THIRTY-ONE
三十一
JENNA
My blurring eyes wander to the untouched bed. Soft pillows. Smooth sheets. Exhaustion tries to wrap its insidious tentacles around me to pull me into the depths of slumber, but I see its sneaky movements and blink it away.
I can’t sleep. I won’t sleep! If I hang on a few more hours, morning will come. I check the alarm clock’s glowing display and groan at what I see.
Only one twenty? That can’t be right! I’ve already been awake so long. Much more time than that should have passed. Now I’m tired and depressed. I’m never going to accomplish this.
“Yes, I am!” I hiss through clenched teeth. “I’m in control. I am going to end this.”
I have to. Even Jade can’t want this to go on forever. It’s putting us both in danger. It’s time we return to our separate, completely disconnected lives.
I pick up my last cola, but the can is already half empty, so I pace the room, leaving a matted trail in the carpet. If I remain in constant motion, sleep will have a harder time overtaking me. That’s my theory, but when my chin strikes my chest and my knees unexpectedly buckle, I fall against the bed, a blink away from passing out.
One thirty. This is impossible. Fatigue sits on my chest like a three hundred pound sumo wrestler.
“Stay awake, Jenna!” The words swim through a yawn. “Stay awake! Hang on!”
Some of the fuzziness leaves my brain.
Talking to myself. Maybe that will work.
“You have to break this cycle,” I say. “You have to get through this night and then through tomorrow. It’s something to do with brain waves. You have to cut the signal, change the channel, break the circuit.”
But will this really sever the link? I have no proof. Only a half-crazed desire.
“It’s better than nothing,” I reason with myself. “I at least have to try. And then if it doesn’t work…”
If not, what then? Never sleep again? Kill myself? Neither of those ideas are options.
Maybe if Jade wanted this to end as much as I do, the link would undo itself. But she doesn’t want to break it, and I think I know why.
“It’s because of Mom,” I whisper. “Isn’t it? I feel it when I’m in your brain.”
I stare at the ceiling. I can’t speak to Jade face to face, but I know she’s listening to everything I say.
“She’s not your mother. Your mother is dead. Why can’t you just get over it and go on with your life?”
I immediately regret the words. They’re cruel. Unfortunately, Jade and I share every thought. She knows what I’m thinking even if I don’t say it aloud.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I press all my fingertips against my forehead. “Nothing against you, Jade, but I can’t keep doing this. It’s too much. I need it to end.”
I glance at the clock. One thirty-two. Time is grinding now. I’ll soon need toothpicks to prop my eyelids open. I fall back on the bedcovers before I realize I’m doing it, and, when I struggle to right myself, I’m too exhausted to stand.
“It has to end,” I mumble. I swim against exhaustion’s inexorable undertow. “Ask Master Ning if there’s a way to break an eternal link. Please, Jade…”
Darkness swirls over me. I know it isn’t going to last. The moment I go under, I’ll reawaken in Jade’s head. And there’s nothing I can do about it.
THIRTY-TWO
三十二
JADE
Hot tears sting my eyes.
I quickly blink the tears away.
“As I told you, she has awakened on her own.”
Master Ning and Mistress Tianshi stand a few paces away. Mottled sunlight, filtered by the tall pines growing outside, trickles through an open window and spills across my face. The earthy aroma of Mistress Tianshi’s dried herbs fills my nose. A grass mat cushions my body.
“What’s going on with this girl?” Mistress Tianshi says. “Asleep an entire day and a night! None of the girls in her dormitory could wake her up! You know I’m supposed to report these types of things to Master Yao.”
“I know what the imperial decrees require,” Master Ning says. “But I also know you wouldn’t endanger an innocent girl’s life.”
Mistress Tianshi watches me. I see uncertainty and fear in her eyes.
“I didn’t report it last time,” she says, lowering her voice, “and I won’t do it now. If she were discovered, he would execute her and every other girl at this academy. But—”
“I’m glad you recognize the gravity of this situation.”
Mistress Tianshi breaks protocol and looks Master Ning directly in the eye. A lot of protocol is being broken lately.
“This is not supposed to happen at the academies!” she says. “High Masters are supposed to detect violations and stop them before they progress this far! If the authorities in Weishan Village ever find out what’s happening here—”
“That’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it? They must never find out. You as much as said it yourself. She must never be brought to the Emperor’s attention.”
They see that I’m awake and listening, and Master Ning motions for Mistress Tianshi to follow him to a corner. I’ve been provided with a thin white blanket, and I uncomfortably pull it over my chin.
Ask Master Ning if there’s a way to break an eternal link. Please, Jade…
Jenna’s thoughts echo hollowly in my head. Maybe she’s right. Maybe this does have to end.
“I want to stop dreaming,” I say.
It comes out in a feeble whisper, but Master Ning and Mistress Tianshi halt their quiet conversation and turn to look at me.
“I don’t want to have the dreams anymore.” I repeat it louder this time. “Show me how to stop them. Please.”
Mistress Tianshi gazes at Master Ning. He twists his mustache.
“There’s only one way to break such a link,” he says quietly. “It’s not a path you’ll wish to follow.”
“You don’t know that,” I say, eyes brimming with tears. “Please. Jenna wants to know. I want to know.”
Master Ning takes a long time to answer.
“Simultaneous death.”
“What?”
“Death. You and your link must be simultaneously killed. It’s the only way to break the connection. You and your link are now immortal. You will share each other’s experiences forever. I am very sorry, juk faa. That is how it will now be.”
An electric chill goes up my spine. Immortal? And what is that name he just called me?
“This is why the Emperor must never discover you,” he goes on, “because, if he does, he will torture you until you betray your link. Once that is accomplished, his link will hunt your link down and the two Qin Shi’s will murder her and you.”
Mistress Tianshi makes a horrified noise.
“There are ways to hide,” Master Ning says. “You wouldn’t be the first to do it.”
“The link is unbreakable? There’s no way out?”
He watches me without answering.
I can’t ever sleep again. I can’t face Jenna. She’ll never forgive me for what has happened.
THIRTY-THREE
三十三
JADE
Permanent. Unbreakable. Eternally locked together. At first it was a thrilling game—something I could walk away from if it got too dangerous. Now I’m cemented in peril.
At Mistress Tianshi’s insistence, the High Master excuses me from classes for the day. I’m allowed no visitors. When Lily comes to see me, Mistress Tianshi claims I’m contagious and sends her away.
“Sleep!” the nurse commands every time she catches me watching her. “You need rest so you don’t pass out in front of other students again.”
Sleep and rest. I get neither. I’m careful not to doze, but all this time for thinking is driving me crazy. Finally, well after dark, Master Ning sends word for Mistress Tianshi to send me to my dormitory. I hurry across the campus, savoring my freedom. I’m stepping through the open dormitory door when I hear the angrily whispering voices.
“I won’t be a part of anything that might hurt somebody.”
“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”
“You’ve lost sight of what’s important! I’m starting to wonder where your loyalties lie. That stupid, weak-minded girl should have been no problem to control.”
My knees lock. I catch myself against the doorframe, praying neither of the squabbling girls has heard the noise I’ve just made.
“I was in control. But something went wrong. I think somebody interfered.”
“It was the middle of the night. Who would be awake to interfere?”
“A teacher maybe. She’s been spending a lot of time with Mistress Song.”
My heart is thundering. Their shadows stretch into the main entry from the Third-Year corridor. My classmates. My age group. Do I dare ease closer and risk a glance around the corner?
“It was also your job to discover why the High Master has taken an interest in her. You’ve been avoiding me. What have you found out?”
“Nothing that concerns us. Extra art and calligraphy lessons.”
The watcher at the window screen! The one who dropped the dagger!
I tiptoe into the entry hall. They cease their whispering and I freeze. I fear they’ve heard me, but the accusing one speaks again:
“I’m done waiting for you, Lilja. If you haven’t accomplished it by tomorrow night, I’ll go through Master Yao to get it done my way.”
“If you’ll just be patient—”
“I’m done being patient! The buzhang want results, and I intend to produce them.”
I hear footsteps. I shrink back until I realize they’re moving away instead of toward me. By the time I get to the Third-Year hallway, both girls have disappeared. I shiver but not from cold, and I hug myself until the tremors go away.
The Dikang has infiltrated the academy, and at least one of them knows how to manipulate other people’s brain waves. I check for my necklace to reassure myself it’s securely knotted around my neck. Last night after Lily helped me back to the dormitory, I found it carefully coiled beside my sleeping mat. I still don’t know how it came off. I’m not sure if I removed it or someone else did. Whatever the case, I don’t intend to let it happen again.
The room I share with three other students is dark when I enter. I hear my roommates’ rhythmic breathing when I enter. All of them are asleep. Or pretending to be. Could any of them be the Dikang infiltrators from the hallway?
I shake my head. Now I’m going to be paranoid about everyone. I hear Meigui move behind her silk privacy screen. After a moment, her sleep breathing begins again. Could it be her? Could she be stealthy and conniving enough to remove my jade necklace while I was sleeping and send me on a suicide mission?
Or how about Ruby. I turn toward her corner. Is she awake even now, plotting how she can control me to do the Dikang’s bidding?
Lilja.
That was one of the two girls’ names. It sounds very much like…
“No…” I whisper.
I creep to Lily’s partition. I steel myself against a possible attack, and slowly pull her silk drape to one side.
Sleeping. Dreamless sleep. I watch the slow rise and fall of her chest. What’s wrong with me? How could I ever suspect her?
I go to my own corner and change quietly into my night clothing. I curl into a ball on my cotton-stuffed mattress and cross both
arms over my head. The next time I open my eyes, will I be halfway across the campus with a knife in my hands? Will someone else be controlling my arms and legs?
Things have become too complicated. I can’t figure any of it out. I wish Mother was still alive. I wish they’d never taken me from her and brought me to this academy. Maybe she wouldn’t have died if I’d been home to take care of her. Maybe the dreams would have never happened and Jenna wouldn’t hate me.
THIRTY-FOUR
三十四
JENNA
I have a splitting headache that won’t go away. I’ve already been asked by my fifth and sixth period teachers if I’d like to rest in the nurse’s office, but I’m not going through that again. If I can make it another fifty minutes, school will be over, and I’ll go home, close my bedroom blinds, and rest for an hour or two. Even at the risk of visiting Jade’s world, I have to get some sleep.
I’m not thrilled about our unbreakable brain-link, but Jade’s mistaken about my feelings toward her. I don’t hate her. She didn’t purposely make this happen. How could anyone know a few dreams could lead to something like this?
It’s interesting how she and I so intimately share our lives—even perceive each other’s thoughts—yet still understand each other so little. Would Jade be surprised to know there are things I admire about her? She carries a spark of courage inside that I don’t think she knows exists.
I shake my head and try to stop thinking about her. It makes me stressed. It’s too overwhelming. Immortal? How can a few dreams make the two of us immortal? What does that even mean?
While Mr. Carlson takes attendance, I squeeze my eyes shut, massage my lids, and wish the blood vessels in my cranium would stop pulsing with each heartbeat.
How am I going to make it through class? How am I going to make it through an eternity? Does this mean I’ll be a teenager forever and never be done with high school?