Clothing the Naked Sheriff [Celestial Nights 1] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Rebecca Joyce

  Landon thought about what Braxton said, but just because Conner didn’t play with the same team didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy the aspects of the game with the opposite sex. He should know, because he had been doing that for years. Regardless if Conner was or was not, it didn’t matter. He was who he was, and Landon wasn’t going to condemn the man for it, because if he did, he would have to condemn himself.

  Just then, Landon stared out the window as Captain America, Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman sped past on Harley Davidson motorcycles, their capes flapping in the wind. When Braxton slammed on the brakes, Landon had to brace himself, as both men turned to make sure they were not seeing things. When they were positive they were still sane, they slowly turned back around, and Landon muttered, “We keep this to ourselves, okay?”

  “Exactly,” Braxton replied, stepping on the gas again.

  By the time they made it to Celestial, the town looked like a scene out of the movie It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. They had found Zac and parked the vehicle. Getting out, Landon smiled as he surveyed the area.

  Braxton groaned, Zac whistled, and Landon actually laughed. “Well, this should be easy enough.”

  “This is so cool!” Zac grinned, taking in the sight before him. “Maybe I should take you up on your job offer, Braxton.”

  “We’re never going to find her,” Braxton said, looking around the town of Celestial.

  “This is a joke right?” Landon asked. “They can’t be serious.”

  “Nope.” Braxton sighed. “This is just a ruse to keep us occupied.”

  “Well, it’s working, dude. This shit is funny as hell.” Zac smiled.

  “This is not funny, Zac. Everyone looks the same,” Braxton shouted.

  “I’ve always wanted to play a real-life version of this game,” Zac said, spellbound as he looked at everyone around him. Running into the crowd, Zac shouted, “Let’s find Waldo!”

  “God help us. We’re never gonna see him again, are we?” Landon asked stoically as Braxton shook his head, wading through the crowd, searching for Jack. Landon had to give the residents of Celestial kudos. They had literally outdone themselves this time. Every last one of them was dressed in the exact same clothing of red-and-white striped shirts, blue jeans, black shoes, and beanie caps. It was going to be like finding a needle in a haystack, only this time the haystack was about five hundred adult-sized Waldos.

  Pushing their way through the sea of cloned Waldos, Braxton took off when he spotted Larry, Curly, and Moe from The Three Stooges as they exited the Cosmic Emporium and disappeared into the crowd.

  Landon grinned, saying mostly to himself, “This town keeps getting weirder and weirder.” Shaking his head, he walked off toward the sheriff’s office when Little Bo Peep and her lost sheep started running from Goldie Locks and her three bears. “What the hell is going on here?”

  “Oh, it’s a cosmic comic book carnival,” Pisces, the naked sheriff, said, walking over to him. Closing his eyes, Landon had to do a double take. He had heard of the naked sheriff but never had the pleasure. Opening his eyes again, Landon looked him up and down, and something unfurled deep in his gut.

  “Guess they weren’t joking with me. You really do walk around naked.”

  “I’m not naked. See?”

  Just then, Braxton walked up and groaned. “Wearing He-Man underpants is not clothing. Go put some pants on.”

  “I can’t. I have to head over to the Love Den because Ma and Pa Kettle are refusing to participate in the body sculpting exercise that Beowulf set up. He’s real pissed and threatening to throw them out on their keisters.”

  Pinching the brow of his nose, Braxton said, “I don’t even want to know what any of that meant. Just tell me you know where Sophie and her sons are at?”

  “Haven’t seen them, but I did see a dish and a spoon walking toward the Best Lay Hotel a few minutes ago, just as Charlie’s Angels exited. Maybe if you find Mother Goose, she would have more information. Better yet, pray to the moon. The moon knows everything. Sorry I can’t stay and help ya, but I really gotta go. Bye!” Pisces shouted as he, too, soon disappeared in the sea of Waldos.

  Landon watched as the naked sheriff left, as if what he was wearing or not wearing didn’t bother him one bit. Looking around the town, he watched as everyone smiled, laughed, and genuinely enjoyed the chaos around town. It was like a Sunday brunch after church, only in Celestial the crazies, weirdoes, and loonies were invited. Alone they were all outcasts, but together, they were all family, all welcomed. It was then that Landon realized he really loved this town.

  * * * *

  Passing the Best Lay Hotel, Landon came back to the present, slowing his vehicle down as he drove under the only working streetlight in town, which changed from blue, to green, to pink, to white. It was more like a strobe light than a stop light, and since it never stayed on one color long enough, he made sure no one wanted to cross the street and proceeded slowly.

  Celestial was definitely smaller that Treasure Cove. Where Treasure Cove had a population to count, Celestial only had beings. According to Miz Raven, a being was more than a documented individual on a census report. A being was a cosmic entity that only the cosmos could count. Therefore, the exact population of Celestial was virtually unknown. Well, he was sure there were more beings, but he only ever saw the town’s residents, never the ones who lived outside the small town.

  Following the road out of town, he turned down the second dirt road he passed, and after a few minutes, a small log cabin came into view. Smiling, he never got tired of looking at the masterpiece before him. Made of wood and glass, the two-bedroom cabin was artfully created, as if Mother Nature herself constructed the building. Built up from the rocks the house sat upon, the small cabin had a beautiful wraparound porch, pillars before the large glass front door, and windows on every wall. There wasn’t a spot on the cabin where one couldn’t look out into the stunning view surrounding it. Out in the open, the cabin may provide shelter to cosmic beings, but the cosmos had the same view.

  At first, Landon thought it was weird that a house would have so many windows. Anyone could see in, and vice versa, but having lived in this place for over a month, he saw the benefit of an open house. It felt as if he lived in nature itself. The house was calming, and he loved it.

  Pulling into the drive, Landon sat in his vehicle, looked at the house, and smiled. “I’m home.” He turned off the ignition, grabbed his briefcase, and then exited the vehicle. Landon walked up the stairs to the front door and didn’t bother unlocking the door, because it was never locked. He opened the door, laid his briefcase down and headed for the vast wall of sliding windows before him. The whole back of the house was constructed of glass, and the view was remarkable.

  Landon took off his jacket and tie and laid the clothes on the bar and headed outside to the back deck where three lounge chairs laid, overlooking a spectacular view of the Rocky Mountains. The stars twinkled brightly as the large moon hovered overhead, illuminating the surrounding area. He then headed for the middle chair, leaned over and kissed the softest lips in the cosmos.

  “Hey, baby,” he said.

  “Hey.”

  “How was your massage?” Landon asked, sitting down.

  “Heavenly.”

  Chapter Three

  “I heard you made the call,” Landon asked him as he reclined on the lounger.

  Smiling, Pisces looked at Landon and replied, “I did.”

  “Well, it looks like I am officially on duty again.”

  “For the last time?” Pisces questioned seriously.

  Landon turned to him as a goofy grin spread across his face. “For the last time.”

  “Well then. We need to celebrate.”

  “I believe there is some champagne left in the fridge from last week’s wicked wonderland celebration,” Landon suggested, taking off his shirt. Pisces never tired of looking at the handsome federal agent. Man, if Apollo knew what was going on between the two of them, he
would flip the fuck out. It wasn’t that Apollo didn’t like Landon, he did, but as the Mayor of Celestial, Apollo felt it was his civic duty to protect and serve the community. Apollo had let it slip several times that the federal agent wasn’t going to be welcomed in town. That no one would trust him. As the sheriff of said town, Pisces’s job was to ensure the fed left town as soon as possible. Of course, Pisces had smiled and then flipped Apollo the bird. The rubber-ducky-sister-fucker could go screw himself for all he was concerned.

  “I believe we can do better than that.” Pisces grinned, getting to his feet.

  “What did you have in mind?”

  “Well, when can we expect Princess Sugar-Britches?” Pisces asked.

  “If I know Ace, she will be here by morning. She doesn’t play around, Pisces. She is going to be serious and all about the job.”

  “So she is going to play hard to get.”

  Coughing, Landon replied, “Hard to get? Pisces she is going to sacrifice your balls to the cosmos if you even approach her. Or have you forgotten the fact she loathes you?”

  “She’s just playing hard to get, baby. Don’t worry. No woman can resist this body for long,” Pisces said as his hands slowly moved down his naked body as if he were on display at the Louvre.

  “Remind me again why I love you,” Landon asked.

  Pisces grinned and knelt before him. “Because there is only one of me, and I am truly magnificent.”

  “And?”

  “And because I love you, too.”

  “Good answer,” Landon said, kissing his lips once more. “Are you sure about this, Pisces?”

  “Yes,” he replied. “I want her as much as you do. Hell, you’re already ahead of the game. She likes you.”

  “But she doesn’t love me. Who would? I am almost forty. I’m too old.”

  “You’ll be forty in three years, and you’re not old. You’re seasoned and cured to perfection. She would be lucky to have you. You’re the main meal, baby, and as for me, I’m a bonus. I get to be dessert!”

  “You’re such an ass.”

  “You love my ass.”

  “Yeah, I do. But seriously, we need to prepare. When Ace gets here, she is going to want to take over and control the scene. She will have this house wired and ready within hours. Soon, we won’t be able to piss without her knowing it. Which reminds me, what are the sleeping arrangements going to be?

  “Well, if all goes well, we’ll only need one room.”

  “And if we need more?”

  “Then I guess she can sleep on the couch.”

  Laughing, Landon got to his feet, heading for the main house. “Man, I so want to be there when you tell her that. Look, I’m gonna go shower. Let me know when you’ve come up with a better idea, because I’m warning you now, Ace won’t sleep on the couch. If anything, one of us will be.”

  “Mind if I join you?” Pisces asked, pushing away from the door.

  “Sure.”

  Pisces smiled and followed Landon into the master bedroom. When Landon opened the large glass shower door, Pisces never took his eyes off him as he disrobed and stepped under the spray. Pisces loved his bathroom. Custom built for his needs, the shower stall was large enough for four grown adults, with several showerheads poking out of the wall at various places. There were four large rain showerheads above. When engaged, his shower made him feel as if he was standing outside in a rainstorm.

  His bathroom, designed for relaxation and comfort, was a masterpiece, and he loved it.

  As he walked in the shower, he flipped a switch, turning on one of the rain showerheads. Standing under it, he just allowed the water to pour over him.

  He so needed this.

  Looking over at Landon, his mind began wandering back to their first night together. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but over time, they perfected their time together. Pieces knew that Landon was worried about bringing Angelica into their home. Landon was afraid that the young, vibrant woman didn’t want an old man. It didn’t matter how many times Pisces tried to convince him, Landon was going to believe what he wanted. He just hoped that when the time came, Princess Sugar-Britches was gentle with him, no matter what her decision was, because whether she knew it or not, Landon Michaels loved her deeply.

  Pisces wanted so much to take the few steps and wrap his arms around Landon and just hold him, to let him know that everything was going to be all right. However, the way he was standing told him that now might not be a convenient time. His whole body stood stiff at attention. Pisces could feel his arousal stir within him, stretching, ready for some action as he looked at Landon’s hard body. Every muscle in Landon’s body strained against the bones that held him upright. Even the way his head faced forward, Pisces could tell his body was begging him to relax. Looking away, he tried desperately to calm the wild beast within him. Taking a deep breath, he asked, “Landon, you okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You sure?”

  “Why?”

  “You look like a caged animal ready to attack.”

  “Maybe I need to be attacked.” And with those words, Pisces pushed him hard up against the shower wall. Switching the showerheads to slow massage, Pisces reached out, running his hand over Landon’s lower back, massaging his spine slowly. Pisces could not get enough of Landon’s toned, firm body. A masterpiece etched from the Gods, Landon was an Adonis. Grabbing for the removable showerhead, he painted Landon’s back, ass, and legs with the spray. He directed the pulsating streams up and down each leg from the bottoms of his calves to the tops of his thighs. Alternating to a softer spray, he applied the hot water to his body once more in sweeping strokes, moving closer as he did.

  Landon’s skin felt alive under his hands. Pisces body began to tingle, slowly coming to life. Pisces’s soft touches began to soothe Landon’s nerves, and he sighed, lowering his head. For too many days and nights, they had talked at length about the pros and cons of their cosmic endeavor. So much so, that Pisces felt ready to explode, but in a blink of an eye, everything seemed to fall into place. All thoughts fled his mind, his body relaxed and what was left was the knowledge that the universe was willing to help. So letting go of all of his worries, Pisces concentrated on the soft clean smell of soap rising up as it reached his nostrils as he breathed in the clean aroma. It was soothing, comforting, and peaceful. With the chaos gone from his mind, Pisces let the cosmos fall where it may.

  Pisces only concern now was Landon. He wished Landon wouldn’t worry so much about the future. He couldn’t change what the universe had in store, no more than he could deny his attraction for Pisces. Of course, Pisces was all too eager to help him lift that weight. Pisces felt the moment Landon relaxed. His body slumped, and a soft moan escaped his lips. Lathering a washrag, he rubbed the soapy cloth up his arm to his shoulder then kneaded it back down to his hand, completely covering his arm in rich, aromatic suds. Repeating this on his left arm, he then concentrated on his neck and back.

  * * * *

  Landon felt the soft cloth slide back and forth over his shoulders as Pisces’s fingers followed close behind, massaging and rubbing, releasing his energy. He tilted his head back, breathing in deep, his mind concentrating on the washcloth lower and lower on his back, punctuated by Pisces’s dancing fingers. Pisces reached and began to knead and massage his ass before he continued his journey toward his feet. His right leg was first, then top of his thigh, then behind his knee, lower to his calf and finally his ankle. Pisces repeated the process with his other leg, and when he was done, he released himself from the wall to stand on his own, turning to face him. His body was awake, alive, and wanting more.

  Landon chose to keep his eyes closed, focusing on the hot steam and the man with him. He felt Pisces’s hand on his face tracing his eyes and nose, then his cheekbones, lips, and chin. Next, the soft cloth touched his cheek, small circles applying the lather, the smell so fresh and intense. The circles continued across his forehead then other cheek, then a line drawn down the bridge of his
nose and across his chin. Pisces tilted his head back, and gently wiped the cloth over the muscles of his neck.

  Landon had never felt anything like this before in his life. He felt cherished, loved, accepted. There was no condemnation, no shouting, no bigotry, only soft touches of acceptance. He immersed himself with the feel of Pisces’s sensual touch. Pisces held the cloth in the middle of his chest just above his pecs and squeezed it, releasing a rich stream of soapsuds. Landon felt as the suds slid down his chest, traveling slowly first, then gravity adding speed. They slithered down his stomach, just to the left of his belly button, hitting the top of his thigh.

  There the suds slipped between his legs and traveled the rest of the way to the shower floor on the inside of his left leg. Pisces squeezed the cloth again, this time over each nipple, depositing a healthy dollop of suds. Landon felt Pisces’s hand delicately spread the suds out, his fingers dancing around his already erect nipples. He used the cloth on them as well, massaging and pinching his nipples. Landon’s body instantly came alive.

  Pisces lathered the washcloth once more and returned to his body, starting just below his nipples. He washed in circles, around and around, working his way down, his free hand following close behind. The lower he got on his stomach, the smaller the circles. Landon’s breath was beginning to shorten as he neared his cock, anticipation starting to take over. As he reached his pelvis, just above his cock, he stopped.

  “Open your eyes, Landon,” he whispered against Landon’s mouth. When they opened, he placed the washcloth just above his stiff rod, and with simple wrist movements, he began to wash the long shaft, sliding the cloth deep between his legs then back up toward his pelvis. Pisces watched as Landon rocked his hips opposite the motion of the cloth, against his hand, back and forth. Leaning over, he licked and nipped at Landon’s hard nipples as his hand rubbed the hard shaft. When Landon groaned, closing his eyes again, he stopped.