by Autumn Grey
Christ.
I can’t stand the sight of him. I want Nor out of that house.
Scratch that.
I want Stephen out of that house. The thought of him living with them, terrorizing his entire family with his words and actions makes me want to hurt him so badly. A few weeks ago, Nor told me that she’d often thought about reporting him to children’s social services. The only thing that held her back was her fear of being separated from her sisters and mother.
I shut my eyes tightly and inhale deeply, pulling my last memory of her into my mind. The way she seemed to avoid my eye when we’re talking, the hesitant touches as if she’s afraid to touch me, but that became desperate as if fighting to tell me something. I’ve seen the red marks on her skin where her fingers pinch her arms, or the way she scratches her scars. I’ve been studying her since she and I got close so I know something is bothering her.
Why won’t she talk to me?
My eyes open in time to see the professor finish scribbling ‘How does Roman technology influence us today’ on the white board, right below the words ‘Technology and Revolution in Roman Architecture’ then turns and glances around giving the class a meaningful look, which halts us from packing our books in our bags. He starts to talk and I grab my notebook and a pen, my gaze moving to the interpreter. I flip through the pages and quickly glance down to make sure I’m writing on a blank page, then look up again.
“Write five hundred words. This assignment is to be sent to my email by eleven thirty at night on Thursday. That gives you a week before Thanksgiving to get it done.”
He turns and walks to his desk and begins to put his books into his leather bag.
Simon is waiting for me outside the lecture hall. We had planned to go for a run on the university’s track. He attends his undergraduate lectures at Montgomery campus, located two miles from here. The reason I choose Eastern Lake while I was applying for the Architectural program in colleges was that, it’s close to home and they have a special needs class.
We are changed and warming up ten minutes later. Simon touches my arm to get my attention.
“How is Josh?” he signs.
“Better. He was discharged from the hospital yesterday.” My brother seemed put off, when the doctor sternly told him that this time he should take his orders about the low-fat diet very strictly. He explained the high risks associated with multiple acute pancreatitis flares, which include cancer. That seemed to sober him up fast.
“Do you want to talk about what’s crawled up your ass?” he signs, jogging in place.
I bring my arms down from the stretch and rub my jaw, feeling frustration coil in my gut. “Something is going on with Nor, man. I can feel it. I have asked her but she says everything is fine.”
“You mean something else, other than her asshole of a father coming to her room? Dude. That shit would mess with anyone.”
I nod. “I feel as if there is more going on.”
He stops and slaps my shoulder all of a sudden, catching me off guard. I turn to glare at him after righting myself.
“Let us forget our man cards for just a second and pull on frilly pink panties because I feel this conversation needs confessing of feelings and shit.” He grins and pretends that he is pulling a pair of underwear up his legs. “How do you feel about Nor?”
I drop my gaze to the ground, contemplating his words and I realize that I don’t even need to think about it. What I feel for Nor is something I can’t even explain. The depth of that emotion terrifies me. The thought of losing her makes me break into a sweat.
“Man to man. Just thinking I might lose her does all these crazy things to me. I don’t think I could handle it.”
“Then you know what you have to do.” He starts jogging in place again.
I nod. It’s becoming increasingly clear what I need to do after evaluating my feelings for her. I have to get her to talk to me.
“Good. Let us reclaim our man cards quickly before I start bawling all over the place. My little spitfire is waiting for me at home.” He starts to run off, but I grab his arm. He turns around to face me.
I smirk. “Speaking of feelings. What about you and Megs?”
He spreads his hands out on either side of his body and says, “Simple. I’m crazy in love with that girl,” and then he takes off down the track without looking back.
Shaking my head, I smile and trail after my best friend.
SUNDAY MORNING, I WAKE UP to the smell of bacon and pancakes wafting into my room. My stomach grumbles as I swing my legs from the bed, wondering if Elise decided to surprise us with breakfast, something she was quite fond of doing in Ohio.
When I reach downstairs, I follow the voices drifting from the kitchen. I stop and take in the sight in front of me. Mom is standing by the oven, flipping pancakes and humming under her breath. She’s dressed in a pair of yoga pants and T-shirt, her hair swept up in a neat ponytail. It’s been a while since I saw her like this. Her mood could switch back any second. Elon is sitting on Cole’s right side and Elise on the left, watching his fingers intently as he signs.
I spin around, and hold my breath, hoping that my dad isn’t home. Things could turn very ugly if he finds Cole here.
“Mom?” I call. She looks over her shoulder at the same time my sisters’ turn to face me. “What is Cole doing here? If Dad finds him here—”
“Your father is not home,” she says in a soft voice. “I found your boyfriend climbing the ladder to your room and invited him in for breakfast.”
Her words send relief coursing through me allowing my feet to finally move and I hurry forward just as Cole, realizing my siblings’ attention is no longer on him, turns to face me.
“Hi,” I sign,
“Hey, Snowflake. Your mom invited me in for breakfast.” He grins and climbs to his feet, his mouth aimed for my lips but changes his mind and hugs me tight. My hug, the Cole kind of hug. He clears his throat and darts a look at my mom, but her attention is on the pan.
“Wow, you two might be talking about us and we wouldn’t know,” Elise says, a little frown marring her forehead.
Pulling away from Cole, I laugh and go to my mother. I snatch a slice of bacon from the plate on the counter and take a bite.
“Everything smells really good,” I hike up onto my tiptoes to kiss her cheek, which she returns with a smile. “Thank you for allowing Cole to come over for breakfast.”
She flips a pancake before turning to face me. “He seemed very eager to see you. We can’t have him sneaking around, can we?” she teases, smiling. “Don’t let the past get in your way. Maggie, your father and I, we are all in the past. I see the way Cole looks at you. Are you happy?” I nod, shoving the bacon in my mouth. “He’s a handsome boy.” She falls silent for a few seconds. I have a feeling she wants to say something so I wait in the silence. “Elise told me what happened between Cole and your father. I’ve never seen you so happy, honey. I know that you and Cole are still young and no one knows what the future holds. You’ll need to fight for Cole. Don’t let him destroy your life like he did mine. Promise me that, honey. Promise me.”
I huff and whisper, making sure my voice doesn’t carry across the room. “I don’t get it. Why don’t you just leave? You said it’s complicated but seriously? I can’t think of anything that would force you to stay.”
She winces and closes her eyes, taking deep breathes. “Just promise me.”
I sigh in frustration, but end up wrapping my hands around her waist. “I promise.”
After breakfast, Cole proposes that he and I head for a swim at the local community swimming pool, which is heated in the months after summer when the temperatures drop.
As soon as he leaves to get his stuff, I pack mine, kiss and hug my sisters and Mom. I head for the door. When I reach the Holloway compound, I see Josh is already on the passenger seat in Cole’s car. Cole told me last evening, after our run that his brother was doing much better. He was discharged from the hospital and will
go back to school in a couple of days. Cole arrives a few minutes later and we drive off.
Cole’s head breaks out of the water and he swims toward where am I with smooth strokes of his arms. He turns to glare at a dark-haired boy, who has been swimming close to me on and off since I stepped into the pool. The look on my boyfriend’s face is enough to send the boy wading backwards, his arms raised in surrender. I chuckle under my breath, remembering the other boys Cole has told off when he saw them staring at me.
He is in a protective mood today.
Cole reaches me and cages me in with his arms on both sides of my body before he leans forward to kiss my neck. He pins me with his body, pushing his pelvis against me and I shiver.
God.
It still amazes me that I do this to Cole. Arouse him. Cause his breath to stall in his chest. . .it’s such a powerful feeling.
He removes his hands from the wall behind me. “I love your mouth,” he signs, his eyes on my mouth then dropping lower to my chest, which is hardly visible above the water. “I imagine those lips on my skin, driving me wild.” He mouths the words at the same time as signing them, since I’m still catching up with my lessons.
His fingers wrap around my waist, then skim the edge of my bikini panties with bold, deliberate strokes.
“Oh!” My cheeks are hot, my body on fire and my eyes scanning around me. “What are you doing? We can’t do that here, Cole.”
“Unless you prefer to talk and tell me what is going on with you, I’ll just let my hands do the talking.”
I shake my head and push his chest. “That’s not fair, you big brute.”
He chuckles and shakes his head, and I swim around him while making sure my two piece is still intact before climbing the ladder out of the pool.
I shake the water from my hair, then look over my shoulder when I feel Cole’s eyes on me. His eyebrows are bunched in a frown, his lips pursed.
I force a smile and point to the lounge chairs on the other side of the pool, letting him know I’m heading there.
“You’re hot.”
I twist around, searching for the owner of the voice. I can’t remember the last time anyone said those words to me, which is why I’m curious and want to get a look at the person who said them. Two boys sit on the lounge chairs close to the pool, who earlier had approached me inside the pool—making rude remarks about what they would do to my body. Cole almost got into a fight with them. I guess they got scared when Josh showed up. The guy with blond, straight hair eyes me from head to toe, his gaze lingering a little too long on my chest and wets his lips.
Creep.
I spin around and continue my little journey. My steps falter when I hear the same voice say, “Too bad her arms are ugly. Did Daddy and Mommy not love you enough? Freak.”
I suck in a breath and swivel around to face them, the magnitude of the cruelty in those words causing me to breathe fast. I take a few steps toward them. I’m not even sure what I want to do, which stops me cold in my tracks. I flex my fingers and walk toward them.
“Do we know each other?” I ask.
They exchange a nervous look.
“Do you want to get to know us?” Blondie asks, darting a look at his friend and shaking on his seat. He grins, seeming to get a kick out of his suggestive remarks.
I walk closer. “Is that what your mother taught you? To call people names? Does it make you feel brave? Or powerful?”
“Oh hey, now, ginger. Don’t get your tits in a twist. If you don’t want a piece of this,” he waves down his body. “Go on now. Run along to your freak boyfriend.”
I force my lips into a smirk and raise my brows. “At least I have a boyfriend. What about you, Blondie? Do you have a girlfriend? Or are you just frustrated because at the end of the day, you jerk off to some imaginary girlfriend?”
His nostrils flare and he shoots up from his seat. His friend grabs his hand, pulling him back.
I turn and walk away, feeling triumphant. I reach my chair and grab the towel, then wrap it around myself. I don’t know what is more exhausting: defending myself and my scars or walking away.
I stretch my body out on the chair and close my eyes. A cool hand wraps around my knee and my eyes flip open, meeting Cole’s. His eyebrows dipped in a worried look.
“Are you okay?” He signs.
I force my lips into a smile and nod. He doesn’t seem convinced. He glances around the pool then brings those beautiful eyes, framed with long spiky lashes to me.
“Are you sure? I saw you talking to those dickheads.”
“It’s nothing I couldn’t handle. Come sit with me.”
He sighs, grabs a towel to dry himself then lays it on his chair and sits down. He takes my hand in his hand and links our fingers together, brushing his thumb on the back of mine. Cole is so good to me it’s overwhelming sometimes, in a good way.
Don’t blow this up, Nor.
I’m already doing that because I’m keeping things from him.
I pull my hand from his. “I’ll be right back,” I sign, standing and grabbing the towel from the chair.
I dart around a few chairs, heading for the changing rooms. Before I reach the entrance, a hand wraps around my wrist, spinning me around. I’m breathing hard, fighting hard not to cry.
He drops my hand. “You are shivering. What’s wrong?”
“You guys okay?” Josh jogs toward us out of nowhere.
Cole starts to pace in obvious frustration while signing fluidly and fast. I can’t make out some of the words. A few seconds into their conversation, Josh looks at me. He opens his mouth to say something but stops and drags his fingers through his hair.
“He’s asking why you ran away.” Josh darts a look at Cole. “It’s hard for him to speak when he’s frustrated.”
I rub my hands down my arms, suddenly feeling cold. “I wasn’t running away. I just needed to use the bathroom.” My voice shakes a little.
I turn around but Cole grabs my wrist again and cages me between the wall behind me and his body. My head hits his chin and I can hardly see anything beyond his broad shoulders.
“Wow, he’s got it bad for you.” Josh chuckles from somewhere behind Cole. Then he appears in my line of vision. “I’ve seen that look before. It means you’re not going anywhere until he gets some answers.”
I glare at him. Instead of being even slightly intimidated by my I will take you down look, he chuckles again gleefully. “What? This is the best entertainment I’ve had in weeks. I’ve never seen my baby brother go all He-Man over a girl.”
Cole signs again, his eyes never leaving mine.
“What did those jerks say to you?” asks Josh.
I sigh, my gaze wandering to Blondie and his friend. His focus is on us, watching intently. I can’t tell him what grease face over there said. After the scene in the pool earlier on, he doesn’t need more provocation to set off his fuse.
“Sometimes it’s hard to see people looking at my scars and know they’re judging me.”
I feel Cole’s gaze move from mine and figure he is focused on Josh for translation. He tucks his thumb under my chin and tilts it up. I lift my eyes to his.
“He’s not judging you,” Josh says softly.
“I know.” I blink hard to chase away the tears threatening to spill and try to wiggle from his hold, but he increases the pressure, making me raise up on my tiptoes to escape his touch in self-preservation. God, this is torture. My cheeks and body heat up. Our thighs are touching, skin on skin. “I’m just being silly. Maybe we should just leave.”
Cole’s hands circle my waist, sliding up to the sides of my breasts and end up framing my face.
Josh makes a gagging sound and says, “I’m out. I don’t need to see you two going all soft porn.”
I chuckle, a sound caught between a choked cry and a laugh.
He takes my hand in his free one and brings my wrist to his lips. He places an open-mouth kiss on the skin there, then blows air, his eyes fixed on mine.
> “Have I told you how brave I think you are, Snowflake? You’d have scars on your face and I wouldn’t even notice. Being strong doesn’t necessarily mean doing things so the world can see how brave you are and applaud. It’s how you win the battle that matters. That is what makes you strong.”
I swallow hard. I try to find the words to express what his words mean to me, but fail miserably.
“Thank you,” I say, smiling.
“Thank you for the silver lining.”
I laugh, unable to keep the joy inside me anymore. His smile is slow to appear but when it finally does, it’s powerful and sexy.
“Are we good?”
“Yeah, we’re good.”
He takes my hand and leads me back to our lounge chair, takes a seat and pulls me down. He cups a hand on my cheek, while rubbing the other one down my arm. I love his hands. They are big and the skin on the palms is rough, likely from the hard labor he does at his father’s construction company. But the way he’s holding my face in his palms, I can’t believe they’re the same hands that hold sharp and heavy tools like nails, saws and hammers.
His finger traces a path along my nose, my shoulders and finally my forearms. “Everything. I. . .see. . .everything. You are breathtaking.”
I can’t breathe. Cole reached inside me and stole the air from my lungs and now I’m drowning, while at the same time basking in his words. For a guy who never says much, he managed to rock me off my axis with just seven words.
“Cole. . .” I can’t find the words to express what I’m feeling. How much his words affect me. “Thank you.”
I throw one leg over his, sitting astride his lap, and wiggling until I feel his erection snuggled between my legs. He groans, grabs my shoulder and crushes his lips to mine. His tongue urges my lips to part impatiently and I’d be stupid to refuse him because the same fire that’s burning inside him is setting my body ablaze.
He lets go of me and slightly leans back, the look on his face fierce. He points at himself, crosses his arms over his chest and then points at me. I know what the sign means, because I’ve spent the past few weeks practicing over and over. He repeats the same gesture, his mouth tipped at the corners in that almost smile now. “I love you.”
