Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)

by Autumn Grey

  Nor eyes me warily while biting her lip as if she doesn’t know where to go from here. I reach for her hand and I feel her tense.

  Her eyes couldn’t get wider even if she tried. Her gaze dips to the place where my fingers are wrapped around her skin, then back to my face. She seems to read the intent in my eyes and for one split second her gaze softens, a smile touching her lips. Then she shakes her head once as though to clear it of some sort of haze. She tugs her hand from mine. Mine wraps tighter.

  “Dance with me,” I mouth the words to her.

  She opens her mouth but nothing comes out. There’s a war raging in her eyes as she quickly looks at the table we were aiming for and back at me. So I make the decision for her.

  Taking a step forward, I slide my free arm around her waist and cover the remaining distance between us. She plants her hands on my chest, pushes me away a little, and then curls her fingers on my chest.

  Air rushes out through her parted lips. She stumbles on her heels as we continue dancing. I hoist her up, pressing her body to mine, taking more of her weight into my body. Her hand relaxes around my shirt and she circles her arms around my neck. Her finger tips graze my skin and I fucking shiver, unable to suppress it.

  I’ve missed that touch.

  I tighten my arms around her waist and hold her close. So close that no air passes between us. She tucks her head into my chest. I can’t resist, I drop mine into her hair and inhale deeply.

  Her scent is a comfort. Familiar. How have I survived so long without her in my arms? Without this familiar scent.

  Unable to resist, I push the amber locks over her shoulder and bury my face in the crook of her neck. She shudders and presses her body into mine, laying her head on my shoulder. My hands shake and my grip around her tightens as I continue to mouth the words of that song. I have no idea if I’m out of tune or not. I press a kiss on her hair and murmur the words, ‘Don’t let my heart keep breaking’.

  I feel the weight of her head leave my shoulder and she taps me twice on my arm.

  “The song is over,” she says, smiling shyly. “Thank you for the dance.”

  I fucking love that look on her face right now. She looks innocent, like she did when I first met her.

  With her hand in mine, I walk her to an empty booth and we sit together on one side. We place our orders when the waitress arrives, then sit back in our seats. The awkward feeling that was present when we walked inside the cafe is gone. Nor kicks off her heels and pulls her legs up. Before she can tuck them under her ass, I grasps them and set them on my lap. She peeks up at me and I notice her shoulders loosen as if letting go of the weight she has been carrying since God knows when.

  AFTER OUR DINNER, I DRIVE her home, park the truck in front of her house and walk her to the door. This dinner wasn’t planned. It was impromptu but that doesn’t mean I won’t treat it like a date.

  I lean forward, lifting her chin with my thumb and lower my mouth to hers. She licks her lips, pulling back a little and raises her head to look over my shoulder.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, searching her face. Is she afraid of kissing me? Or maybe being seen by people kissing me. “Are you worried about what people will say when they see us kissing?”

  She bites her cheek, sneaks a glance up at me then drops her gaze to stare at my chest.

  I sigh in frustration. “Fuck what people think, Snowflake. This is about you and me.” I take a step back, dropping my arms to my side. “I’m not going to beg or force you to kiss me. It’s up to you, Nor. No one should be allowed to dictate what you should or shouldn’t do. That decision is all yours.”

  But it’s only a matter of time before I take that decision into my own hands. She’ll just have to deal with it.

  I spin around, walk down the path and out of the gate before I cross the street. I dig my keys from my pocket and unlock my door.

  Once I’m inside, I flip on the lights, toss my keys on the table in the hallway, kick off my shoes and stride into the living room. Sirius, who’s sprawled on a pillow on the sofa, lifts his head. As if he considers me not worthy of any welcome, he drops his white head back on the pillow and shuts his eyes.

  I head to my room and change into a pair of training pants and nothing else, and then leave and climb down the stairs to my basement which is also my gym room. I stalk to the punching bag, curl my hands into fists and work on getting the stress out of my body. Ten minutes later, I’m far from cooling down. I bound up the stairs and out the front door barefoot. Seconds later I’m knocking on Nor’s door. The moment she opens it, her eyes widen slightly, tracking the rivulets of sweat down my chest. I pounce forward, slip my arm under her knees and throw her over my shoulder, before whirling around to stalk back to my house, my back absorbing the blows from her tiny fists.

  I’ve officially gone insane.

  I toss her on the couch, and take a step back, my chest heaving.

  “Are you insane, Cole? You can’t just haul me from my doorstep and drag me here without my permission, you. . .you big savage.”

  Sirius sits up all of a sudden, stretches his body. He blinks a few times, then hops onto Nor’s lap. I scowl down at him as he settles in, rubbing his stupid head on her chest. I clench my jaw, flex my hands.

  Fucking hell. I’m jealous of a cat.

  COLE IS BEING STUPID AGAIN. And just to show him how much his foolishness is going to cost him, I wait until Nor settles nicely on the couch then I hop onto her lap. I curl up in her lap, tucking my legs under me and purr, my eyes falling shut. Seriously, I would live here if I could. Marry a kitty and have a few kittens. Not only does she smell like catnip, her fingers are magic. Cole is missing out on this big time.

  I force one eye open and peek at Cole. He’s scowling at me, his gaze moving from Nor’s captivating fingers stroking my fur, and back to me. He probably wishes he was me. I’ve never seen him this affected by a woman since he adopted and took me home with him from the animal shelter five years ago.

  Tough shit. A cat has to be selfish sometimes. Cole left the house huffing and sweating, a scowl on his face. He came back a few minutes ago with Nor over his shoulder. He tossed her on the couch then stood back and glared at her.

  Nor is right. My master is a savage. My savage. It doesn’t stop me from showing him what he is missing.

  I climb to my paws and knead Nor’s lap, but I’m completely side tracked when she starts to rub the back of my ears distractedly. My purring motor picks up when she strokes my chin and I forget all about teaching Cole a lesson.

  This shit is dope. Yeah, we’re keeping this girl.

  “I JUST HAVE A FEW questions. Did you have fun tonight?” I ask,

  She stares at me incredulously, shakes her head. Nods.

  “Did you want me to kiss you tonight?”

  She licks her lips and nods again.

  “Are you scared of what people will say? Does it really mean that much to you? If it does, I’m willing to give you time.”

  She stops breathing. “Give me time for what?”

  “To accept this. You and I are going to happen. Josh was right. He gave me a push in the right direction. You and I never stopped happening. Just because a wedge was forced between us to stop the momentum doesn’t mean we stopped.”

  Her chest expands as she inhales, her fingers rubbing Sirius’ neck. “Okay.”

  “Okay what?”

  “We are happening. Did you have to drag me all the way here to make a point?”

  I tug my hair with my fingers and shake my head. “You are as frustrating as you are beautiful.”

  She rolls her eyes, trying to hide the smile fighting to break free. “Can I go home now? I kind of need to get some sleep. I have an early delivery tomorrow morning.”

  I nod, glance down at her bare feet. Reaching down to her lap, I pick Sirius up and put him back on the couch. I take Nor’s hands in mine, pull her up and scoop her in my arms. Her lips part and I feel air brush my cheek. The urge to kiss the living sh
it out of her kicks in, but I know if I do, I won’t stop.

  I pick her up in my arms, stride across the street and set her down on her door step. She stares up at me, searching my face. She lifts a hand, cups my face and I lean into her palm. I kiss the soft skin of her inner wrist, deeply inhaling her scent. Fighting the need to grasp her by the nape of her neck and kiss the shit out of that perfect mouth of hers.

  “Good night, Nor,” I sign.

  “Night, Cole,” she says.

  Then she drops her hand and steps back. She opens her door, steps inside the house and closes the door without a backward glance.

  IT’S FRIDAY EVENING AND MEGS and I were supposed to hang out tonight, but she was called in to work because one of her colleagues fell ill. We haven’t spent a lot of time together since Josh’s death. Everything seems to be happening too fast, plus her crazy shifts at work don’t make things easier.

  Cora and Joce are playing upstairs. They spent most of the afternoon on the terrace, helping Cole finish building the play house. Then he ordered me to sit on the couch and put my feet up. He made dinner for us, which consisted of burgers and fries. He left afterwards to visit with his parents.

  I have been putting off packing up Josh’s clothes for a while now because I feel like if I do that, I’m getting rid of him, pushing him out of my life. But at the same time, I can’t postpone it any longer. After grabbing some boxes from the basement, I drag my feet up the stairs and inside my room. I open the door on Josh’s side of the closet and stand there for a few moments, twirling the ring on my finger around.

  You will always be here with us. Always in my heart and thoughts, Josh.

  One hour later, I finish taping up the last box containing Josh’s things. I glance at the top of the dresser where I put a few things I wanted to keep to remember him by and my chest hurts just taking in the last of what belonged to him. I’ve been holding back tears for the past two hours. Finally, I let go and crumple on the floor. I’m crying for my best friend and the man who had become a very big part of my life. Our lives. Our relationship had begun as a way to save us, but ended up being the best of friendships with no strings attached.

  Taking in deep breaths, I carry them down to the basement one by one until everything is gone. I haven’t decided what I will do with them, but I want to check with Cole and his parents if they would like to keep a few things.

  Speaking of Cole. . .I have been thinking about telling the girls that he is their father. I have no idea when would be the right time to do this and I have no idea how they will react. They adore Cole, but watching his face fall every time they call him, ‘Uncle Cole’ is tearing me apart. His name is on their birth certificates, which was the first thing I told the doctor to do once my daughters were born.

  I pull my phone from the pocket of my jean shorts and open a new text.

  Me: I’m planning on telling the girls tonight.

  My phone buzzes immediately. Oh, that was fast.

  Cole: Telling them what?

  Me: About you. It’s high time they knew.

  His reply doesn’t flash on my screen immediately. Minutes later, when I don’t hear from him, I inhale deeply, my fingers poised on the screen.

  Me: I know this is awkward and not easy. I’ll understand if you think we should wait—

  The screen flashes with a text, momentarily blocking the one I was typing.

  Cole: I’m outside. Open the door.

  What? I spin around, rush to the door and swing it open.

  He must have been leaving the shower when I texted him. His hair is still wet. His hands are tucked inside the pockets of his faded jeans and he’s wearing a gray Henley shirt that clings to his toned body perfectly. His jaw is covered with light scruff.

  He scans my face intently until I feel heat fill my cheeks. I wet my lips and his gaze drops to my mouth, following my tongue but then goes further and drops to my chest. There hasn’t been any other incident since the “haul-me-over-the-shoulder-toss-me-on-the-couch” move he pulled when we last went out for dinner. As much as his behavior infuriated me, it was also the most exciting thing that has happened to me in a very long time. It was such a huge turn on.

  Shit. My nipples are hard just thinking about that night.

  He lifts his eyes to mine, his eyebrows raised as if to ask me, “Are you going to let me in? or what?”

  I stumble aside and sign, “Please come in.”

  He brushes past me, his scent wrapping around me.

  I need to keep my tingling lady parts in check.

  After closing the door, I lead the way to the living room, absorbing the heat from his body on my back.

  “The girls?” he asks when we reach the living room.

  I turn to face him, watching as he lowers his long frame on the couch. “Upstairs.” I’m extremely nervous so I opt to remain standing. “Thank you for coming.”

  He nods, eyeing me as I continue to pace and wipe my hands down my jean shorts.

  “I’ll go upstairs and get the girls.” I turn and go for the stairs.

  “Nor.” His voice stops me. I whirl around and, as always, my heart is beating hard in my chest. “I’m here. I’m always here for you and the girls.”

  I nod, spin around and start to climb the stairs. I pause, turn and walk back to stand in front of Cole. I take a deep breath and exhale the little pride left in me because I’m about to beg. Badly. Sometimes your first love comes back to you and you get a second chance. “If there is a second chance for us, no matter how small it is, I’ll take it. Love is what makes people fight harder for something they want to hold on to. I’m ready to fight for us. Whatever it takes. I will do anything to show you that you and I are not coincidental. We are more than that. We are Cole and Nor. Us.”

  He cocks a brow and signs, “Aren’t you concerned about what people will say?”

  I raise my chin, look him in the eye. “I don’t care what people will say. Everything you said. . .you were right.”

  His arm lifts without warning and he wraps his fingers around my thigh, burning me with his touch. He drags me to stand between his legs and cups my backside firmly in his hands. He yanks me forward at the same time he leans his forehead to my body and kisses the tiny slip of skin peeking out between my T-shirt and shorts.

  He tips his head up, meeting my gaze. “You and I are far from coincidental.”

  He drops his hands from my body, leaving me tingling with need and hungry for more than a touch.

  Framing my heated cheeks with my hands, I turn around and head for the stairs. The girls are not in their rooms, so I follow their voices to my room and stop to stare as Cora ties a knot on the blanket fort made of white bed sheets, with strings of lights dangling around it.

  The first time Elise and the girls made a fort, Cora and Joce had argued about which room it would be built in. Eventually, we decided mine was the neutral ground. At that time, Josh was spending days on end in the hospital as the doctors tried to save him through chemo. So it was a comfort to have the girls in my room. Even though Josh and I shared a bed, we never got intimate. It was more for putting up appearances to the girls. Before Josh became really sick, he’d been seeing a girl he’d gone to college with. Then he stopped when he got too weak to go out. Megs and I made a plan to take him dancing or to a bar, just to hang out with a different crowd every once in a while, whenever he was well enough.

  “Hey honey,” I say to Cora, scanning the room for Joce. “Where’s your sister?”

  “She just went to her room to collect some things we need.”

  “Can I talk to you two for a few minutes?”

  Her hands holding a string of lights pause. She looks up. “Oh Mom! Can’t it wait? We’re almost done,” she whines.

  “Cole is here.”

  She drops the lights and grins wide. Gray eyes so like her father’s flash, hopping from one foot to the other. “Really? Oh my gosh. Joce! Uncle Cole is here!” she shrieks then darts out of the room. I trail after
her and stop in the hallway.

  Joce yells something from inside her room, then she’s zipping past me in the hallway and bounding down the stairs. I can’t believe that’s my always cool, calm and collected daughter. And it’s not like they don’t talk to him every day. Even on days he doesn’t drop by for a visit, which is extremely rare, he still chats with them on Skype. I’m grateful for that, because somehow, he has become a fixture in their lives. I suspect it also eased their pain of losing Josh.

  When I reach downstairs, I take the seat directly across the couch from Cole and the girls and then fold my hands on my lap.

  I wipe my clammy hands on my shorts, and sign. “Girls. I need to ta—” Cole’s eyes narrow on me. “Cole and I need to tell you something.”

  Joce leans forward, propping her elbows on her knees and Cora settles herself on Cole’s lap. They stare at me expectantly.

  Right. I inhale. Hold my breath. “So, you know Cole and your dad—Josh, are brothers.”

  Cora rolls her eyes and laughs. “Of course, Mama. Is that all? Because Joce and I want to make plans with Cole about the carnival.”

  Cole lifts his hand and grasps the nape of Cora’s neck. The gesture is so possessive, it sends my heart fluttering inside my chest. “Patience, sweetheart.”

  Crap. This is so hard. “Sometimes things happen in life and we are unable to control them and. . .” I blow out a breath and rub my forehead. The twins squirm impatiently and Cole stares at me, a question clear in his eyes.

  I shake my head subtly. I can do this. His lips quirk at the sides in encouragement.

  “Cole. . .Cole is your real father.”

  Joce frowns. Looks to the floor, and then at Cole. She leans back in her seat.

  “What?” Cora squeaks and scrambles off her father’s lap in favor of sitting next to him with her tiny legs crossed.

  Taking the ‘rip the bandage off approach’, I proceed to tell them a watered down short version of what happened nine years ago.