Addicted: A Good Girl Bad Boy Rockstar Romance

by Zoey Oliver

  Shaking my head, I deny his words and my own urges. “Let me go, Jayson. Please.”

  He seems a little sad. “I can’t.” Jayson draws me into his arms.

  I could step back, or try to resist, but it’s impossible to deny what we both want so much. With a small sigh of defeat, I melt into his arms, pressing my ear to his chest. His heart thumps as quickly as mine, and I move my hand on his chest to his waist, smiling slightly when a light stroke makes his heartbeat get even faster.

  Jayson takes my face in his hand, tilting my head back as he descends. His lips, soft and coaxing, convince mine to open with light, feathery kisses. I can’t help but moan softly as he sweeps his tongue over mine. I strain to get closer, pushing my hands under his jacket to feel his flesh through the linen shirt.

  His breath hisses through his teeth when I undo the first few buttons and plunge my hand inside. His skin is hot, with a light covering of hair that tickles my fingers. I stroke his hard muscles, moving my hand lower. He exhales sharply when I rake my nails lightly over his nipple.

  “Harper.” My name is more a harsh exhalation than a true sound. He lifts me into his arms, making me cry out with surprise, and carries me to the table. It’s hard under my rear, but not as hard as the sleek muscles rippling under Jayson’s skin. Each time he twitches or shudders, I’m filled with joy. It’s exhilarating to have so much power over Jayson, when he usually leaves me feeling weak, no matter how well I might hide it.

  “How did I wait so long?” Jayson asks against my lips, before claiming them in a hungry kiss that allows no reply to the question.

  My thoughts grow fuzzier the more we kiss. I squirm against him when he cups my breast, thumbing the nipple through the thin layer of silk, sending shots of electricity through me. Threading one hand through his hair, I tangle my fingers in the glossy black strands, while his heart continues to beat fast under my palm.

  Jayson’s hands move over my body with blatant possessiveness, but for once it doesn’t bother me. His touch is intoxicating, and his kisses drug me. For the first time ever, I feel true desire. I want him to hold my naked body against his and to grasp his hipbones as I guide him inside me, to squeeze him as he thrusts in and out, to wrap my legs around him and clutch his back as he fucks me.

  There are so many sensations swirling around me that it’s difficult to separate the sources until Jayson moves his hand up my thigh, under the hem of my dress. I freeze, eyes wide open, as he hesitates, fingers hovering over the scrap of silk and lace that is the only barrier to my wet opening. He lifts his mouth from mine, and our gazes lock. “Harper?”

  The rational part of me screams at me to push his hand away and leave the room before our interlude leads us to a decision that can’t be undone. The other, more primitive part of me yearns to feel his fingers against me, in me. I bow my head, pressing my forehead against his shoulder, letting him decide.

  I bite my lower lip when he strokes me through the panties, simultaneously wanting him to stop and wanting to push the material aside. As though he’s reading my thoughts, Jayson slips a finger under the fabric, touching my soft, wet heat. I cry out, lying back as he guides me, his fingers moving restlessly between my swollen, tender folds.

  Closing my eyes, I clench my hands into fists to keep from crying out more, afraid I won’t be able to control the volume of my voice and we’ll be discovered. His touch makes me wild, clutching him, pushing against his hand. I’ve never imagined such feelings. With tender expertise, Jayson brings me to the edge. Arching against his hand, I’m unable to keep back a groan as he sends me over. He leans into me, sealing my mouth with his to muffle my cries.

  My body convulsing, I whimper as the pleasure ebbs. I have no words to express myself, so I stroke my fingers through his hair as he kisses me, hungrily.

  We freeze at the sound of voices passing by the corridor. I blink and then pull away from him so quickly I almost roll off the table. Jayson catches me, easing us both into an upright position. “The voices of reason,” he says with a grin. I nod, still incapable of speech. “It’s for the best,” he says as he straightens my shirt and then refastens his buttons.

  “Yes,” I manage to rasp. It’s definitely for the best that things stopped there.

  “I don’t want to make love to you for the first time on a hard table, anyway.”

  I drag in a deep breath as he opens the door.

  “We should be back at the harbor soon,” says Jayson after a glance at his watch. “I better return you or risk attacking you right here.”

  I give him a shaky smile. “Yes.” When he puts his arm around my waist, drawing me close, I don’t fight. Sanity may be returning, and I know I can’t go to bed with Jayson, but I can’t talk about it yet. As we rejoin the party, I almost turn to him, but can’t. It makes sense to tell him I haven’t changed my mind about sex, despite what had just occurred, but it just feels too soothing to have his arm around me to say anything right now. Feeling cowardly, I snuggle against him, allowing myself the delight and release of a few more minutes in his arms.

  Chapter 10

  Jayson

  The cruise ends within the hour, and we return to the harbor. The limousine awaits, and Harper slips inside, then I do. She licks her lips, looking like she wants to say something. I don’t want to hear it.

  Pushing the windblown hair off her neck to nibble on her skin, she succumbs at first, then pulls away. I follow.

  “Jayson, stop,” she says.

  I lift my head. “I’m sorry to paw at you like a horny teenager,” I say with a grin. “I suppose I can wait a few more minutes until we’re home.”

  Harper scoots over slightly, putting some distance between us. “I’m sorry.”

  “Why?” I ask, frowning.

  “I’ve given you the wrong idea.” She shakes her head. “I shouldn’t have let things go so far.”

  I knew I didn’t want to hear what she has to say. “Do you regret what happened?”

  She looks to the side, finally shaking her head. “No. I should, but I don’t.” With a deep breath, she adds, “But that doesn’t matter. It can’t happen again.”

  A few Greek curses escape under my breath. “Why not, Harper? Who would it hurt? You’re my wife. It is perfectly normal to make love to you.”

  She swallows. “There is no normal for us, Jayson. Everything we have, everything we are, is an illusion.”

  “No.” What is she talking about?

  “Yes,” she insists. “We’re married, but only for a few more months. We both know getting physical will only complicate things.”

  I grasp her hand, pressing it high against my thigh. “How much I want you isn’t an illusion.”

  She tugs free of my hold. Harper meets my eyes, admitting to both of us what she’s been denying for so long. “I want you too, Jayson, but I’m not going to give in to that urge. I have to think of the long-term consequences. As much as I want you, I can’t let it happen.”

  With a long sigh, I rake a hand through my hair. “I know I could change your mind. And you know it too.”

  Harper nods. “You probably could, but it wouldn’t change anything. You know I’m right.”

  I sigh again. She is infuriating. “Right now, agape mou, all I know is I will not sleep well tonight from frustration.”

  She smiles tentatively. “I know the feeling.”

  Watching the door to the nursery close behind Harper, it takes every ounce of willpower not to follow her and finish what we started. My body aches for her, and I know she feels the same. Harper admitted I could change her mind.

  It’s tempting.

  I curse myself, hating the fact I respect her decision, though it’s the right thing to do. I don’t believe sex, fucking, lovemaking, whatever you want to call it, would complicate things. After all I do want to keep her as my wife. But it’s right to honor her choice.

  And I’ll do so.

  For now, and reluctantly.

  Maybe I’ll give her a few mor
e days to sort out her confusion and realize she’s denying both of us for no real reason.

  Harper will find it pretty difficult to deny herself, and me, when I make this my top priority.

  Walking through the garden I hear someone, probably the landscaper, midway through telling a story involving his youngest brother and the family goat. I wonder who he’s talking to—I thought he was working alone?

  When I come upon him, I see he’s talking to Harper.

  Angelo falls silent for a moment before saying, “Kalimera, Kyrios Satyros.”

  “Good afternoon,” I say coldly, and Angelo flinches.

  Harper flinches as well when I turn my gaze on her. What the hell is she doing in the garden, filthy dirty, with the gardener? She swallows audibly. “Did you need something, Jayson?” She’s clearly trying to sound casual, but the tremble in her voice lets me know she’s anything but calm.

  “I need my wife. I’ve been looking for you for the past two hours.” I curl my lip with contempt. “I should have known I would find you playing in the dirt.”

  Her voice comes back with its usual disinterested tone. “Yes. Perhaps you should have. What do you want, Jayson?”

  My eyes narrow. “You know the answer to that, agape mou.” Just a few days ago, the phrase was sweet nothings, as I fingered her. Now it sounds more like a threat than an endearment. “For starters, I would like my wife to behave with dignity. We have servants for these tasks.”

  She glares at me when Angelo bows his head. “Of course, Kyrios.” Harper sets down the spade and gets to her feet, grimacing at the dirt covering her shirt and shorts. I’m livid to see her looking like one of the staff. Holding her head up, she meets my gaze.

  I grasp her upper arm, pulling her with me. “Harper!” I hiss. “This is inexcusable.”

  “Save the tirade for when we’re in private,” she says, jerking away from my hold. Harper holds her head high and marches back to the villa. I’m sure she’s conscious of my presence directly behind her, but she doesn’t look back at me. We enter the house, and I direct her up the stairs toward the master suite.

  She holds herself stiffly when we enter the room. The slam of the door makes her jump. “Why are you behaving this way?” she asks. Demands.

  “Strip.”

  Harper’s eyes widen. “What?”

  I rake her with a contemptuous look. “You look like a street person. Wash off the dirt and make yourself presentable.”

  Harper shakes her head. “No. I’m tired of taking orders from you, Jayson.” She holds up her hands. “I like dirt under my fingernails. I feel normal when I’m digging in the soil. You have no idea how much I’ve missed it. I was this person when you married me, and I still am. A person who loves plants. Gardening. Living things!”

  “You defy me?” I never thought she would do such a thing. “You are my wife. Make yourself look like it before we talk.”

  With a toss of her head, Harper turns away. “We’ll discuss this when you’ve calmed down.” She starts toward her room, but gasps when I put a hand on her arm. “Let go.”

  Ignoring her protest and attempts to free herself, I lift Harper and carry her into the bathroom. “Put me down.”

  “As you wish.” I set her down in the shower before turning on the faucet.

  Harper shrieks when cold water cascades over her before it turns warm. “You’re crazy.”

  I catch myself in the bathroom mirror, seeing that a vein in my temple is throbbing visibly. “Wash yourself.” My voice drops an octave as my eyes settle on her breasts under the soaked T-shirt. “Unless you want help?”

  “Get out.” Harper slams the shower door, watching me through the opaque glass until I finally give up and stalk out of the bathroom, unable to rid myself of the sight of her wet chest and hard nipples in the translucent cotton tee.

  Chapter 11

  Harper

  “Get out.” I slam the shower door, watching him through the opaque glass until he leaves the bathroom. Livid, I get out of the shower, shedding the wet clothes and shoes with some difficulty. Then I return to the stall, soaping with quick efficiency. My heart is racing, and my stomach aches with the effort to keep from screaming. How dare he treat me that way?

  I’m clean within minutes, but as time passes, I find myself dawdling. Now that some of the anger has washed away, I no longer want to rush into a confrontation. Why was I so eager to face him again? The first round certainly hadn’t gone in my favor. I’m still fuming at the treatment, but perhaps it would have been wise to give him time to calm down too. He had shown a depth of anger I’ve never seen before. Surely, he’s realized that by now and is trying to regain control?

  Clinging to that hope, I force myself from the shower. I hurry and dry off quickly, instead of drawing out the process. It only hastens the realization that I have nothing to put on. My clothes are soaked and dirty. A quick glance at the door shows no robes on the hooks, indicating Irina has already collected them for washing.

  The plush bath sheet isn’t exactly adequate armor in which to face Jayson, but the alternative is even less appealing. No way am I going into the bedroom wearing nothing. The towel is long enough to wrap around me twice, and I tuck the end as securely as I can. After running a comb through my damp hair, I can’t find any remaining reason not to leave the bathroom. Taking a deep breath for fortification, I walk from the room, closing the door behind me with a soft click.

  It appears Jayson took advantage of my absence to remove his wet shirt. I swallow thickly at the sight of his bare chest, feeling a stir of something other than offense.

  He seems to have regained control. “I owe you a huge apology, Harper. I had no right to treat you that way.”

  I acknowledge his apology with a nod. “Thank you.” Then I look up. “Why did you react so strongly? You know my major was botany. It shouldn’t have shocked you so much to find me in the garden.”

  Jayson runs a hand through his damp hair, further tangling it. “I suppose I could say the sight of my wife on her knees in the dirt made me angry.”

  I nod. “I can see why. You’re used to glamorous women, and I try to live up to that as much as possible.” I shrug. “I just couldn’t resist the allure. I’m sure you don’t understand the attraction, but I have missed it so much.”

  Jayson’s expression tightens. “I saw what was so attractive about the garden, Harper.”

  I blink. “I don’t understand…” I trail off as she realized what he means. “Angelo?”

  “Is he your lover?” Jayson delivers the question in a distant tone, but his body radiates tension.

  “Of course not.” I walk across the room, heading toward the dressing room. “He’s just a boy.”

  Jayson follows. “He isn’t much younger than you. You must find him attractive.”

  I face him. “Yes, he’s handsome. He has the body of a Greek god. Is that what you want to hear?”

  He flinches. “No.”

  “Then stop this. I haven’t slept with him, and I have no plans to do so.” My hand trembles as I reach for a simple sundress. “He’s a nice boy, but no matter how attractive, I don’t want him.”

  “Why not?” rasps Jayson.

  Unable to look at him, I keep my gaze centered on the line of clothes hanging before my eyes. “He isn’t you,” I whisper.

  His ragged exhalation is the only sound for a long moment. The extended silence is unnerving. I busy myself with removing the dress from the hanger and replacing the hanger with exaggerated precision. When he cups my arms in his hands, I sag against him, knowing I’d been waiting for him to touch me.

  As he turns me around to face him, I drop the dress and wrap my arms around his neck. Despite the complications, and how it’s going to break my heart, I want to be with him. Long after their marriage ends, I will have this memory.

  “Harper mou.” Jayson examines my face intently. “You are sure you want this? I worry I can’t stop if you change your mind, so please be certain.”
/>   I lick my lips. “I’m sure.” Without hesitation, I take the hand he extends and walk with him back to the bedroom. I drop my towel near the bed and watch with silent appreciation as he throws off his remaining clothes. Here is the body of a true Greek god. Every smooth plane and rounded angle represents perfection. When he touches me his hot skin burns under my fingers, but it doesn’t hurt me.

  Jayson lifts me onto the bed, lying down on top of me. As he caresses and kisses me, I drink him in, and my body reaches to his hands. I want to remember everything, to feel everything. The softness of his lips, the heat of his breath. The way his skin tastes. His eyes half-closing with pleasure as he touches me, the knitting together of his eyebrows. The soft reaching of his lips. He kisses down my body, hungrily and expertly. When he finally positions himself between my thighs, poised to enter, I clutch his muscular ass tightly, lifting up to meet him.

  I wince at the pain as he enters me. Jayson freezes, looking down at me with an expression of mingled surprise and wonder. “Harper, mou. Are you a virgin?”

  “Was,” I manage to say while lifting her hips, and enveloping him completely inside. After a brief pause, Jayson begins to move inside me, softly at first, staring in my eyes. When I get used to the feeling of him inside me, and the pain disappears, it’s replaced by curiosity, then by deep pleasure. He reaches down to stroke my clit as he thrusts, kissing me softly. I match his rhythm and we ride our way to orgasm, and the cries he makes when he comes push me over the edge, until I’m falling, falling into stars.

  What could have been minutes or hours later, Jayson rolls to my side, wrapping me in his arms. To my complete embarrassment, tears stream from my eyes. Jayson sits up abruptly. “Are you hurt? Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry, Harper.”

  I shake my head. “It’s not that,” I answer in a small voice. A cough clears my throat, and my voice returns to normal when I finally say, “It was wonderful. Amazing. I guess I was just thinking about how this is just a brief interlude. When our marriage ends…” I shrug a shoulder. “I guess I’m just overwhelmed.” That isn’t exactly the truth, but I’m not about to make this mistake even worse by admitting I’m in love with him and have already started mourning losing him, even before we split.