Desperate Hearts

by Lani Aames

  He never thought it would go this far, never thought she could actually want him. He couldn't stop the question that skittered through his mind: Didn't his boy know how to satisfy a woman?

  He knew Mitch was a man and he never wanted to go there in his thoughts, but Talley reacted to him out of desperation. He could feel her need in the tautness of her muscles, smell it in the rich musky odor of her womanhood, taste it on her lips and skin. In his experience, and he'd be the first to admit his experience was limited, a woman who had her needs met didn't react this way, unless she was the kind who was never satisfied.

  Yet Talley didn't seem the type. She hadn't openly flirted with him, hadn't come on to him. In fact, she had seemed mildly irritated that she felt obliged to take care of him when he’d swaggered into the Rose.

  Whatever the reason, she wanted him and he was confounded. Reluctantly, he removed his mouth from her breast and leaned back in his chair. It was time to take a breather and see where this was headed. Any further and he'd take her right there in the chair, have her straddle him and ride him like a bronco.

  That fantasy had come true, he thought and looked over at her sleeping form. He would have smiled at the memory, but he was too worried about her condition. One of the last times they were together, when he had come to her on a Saturday night, they hadn't waited to go to her bed. Mace reached over and tucked the blankets in again. He lit a cigarette and smoked, watching her and remembering.

  Talley had looked down at him. “Mace.”

  Her desire was as real as his, and her confusion just as bad.

  “Darlin,” he said but couldn't say any more.

  “Mace...Oh, Mace.” Her pretty blue eyes were wide as if she were surprised. Maybe she was.

  His hands slid down her arms and he folded his fingers with hers. They could only look at one another.

  “Mitch and I aren't sleeping together,” she said.

  Her confession threw a new light on the situation. She answered his questions, but brought up new ones.

  And made things a little easier.

  “I love Mitch.”

  Or harder. He nodded to say he understood.

  “I want you.”

  Then he didn't understand at all.

  “Darlin,” he began again but still couldn't finish. He wasn't going to push her into anything, but he was afraid they'd be there for hours if he didn't nudge her. One way or the other didn't matter, to her bed or to her front door.

  He stood and she stepped back giving him room. Now he could look down at her and he felt like some big bully forcing her to do it. He let go of her hands suddenly and then just stood there, wishing he was a million miles away...or a dozen feet away, in her bedroom, the decision already made.

  Talley's breath came in short shallow gasps, but he left it up to her. Drawing in a deep breath, she at last reached for his hand. He used it to pull her against him, his long hard body fitting nicely to her softly rounded curves. They kissed again, hungrily, and moved down the hall to her bedroom.

  They parted long enough to get rid of their clothing and Talley lay back on the bed and waited for him. He climbed over her, his hands framing her face.

  He hated to bring it up, didn't want to jar her back to reality, but he didn't need any more responsibilities than he already had. Didn't need any surprises nine months from tonight. He had enough trouble with the son he already had. “What about—”

  As if she read his mind, she said, “Don't worry, it's taken care of.”

  He kissed her more gently this time. He made love to her and she shuddered with the pleasure that flushed her body. Mace caught her moans with his mouth and echoed them when he poured himself into her. Her arms and legs kept him pinned to her and he rested his head on her shoulder, carrying much of his weight on his elbows. His hands still framed her face.

  With the urgent, aching need satisfied, guilt flowed over him. How could he? How could he not, when her need had been as great as his. He shifted to the side and slid his arm under her neck and lay his hand across her stomach. She snuggled into him. Never again, he vowed, but he knew better than to say never.

  He stayed away as long as he could, but the next Saturday night he was knocking on her door. She opened it, surprised to see him. She watched him, as wary as a stray cat. Finally, she let him in. They made small talk and drank coffee. By the time he kissed her, he was as hard as a rock and without another word, she led him back to the bedroom. Once again, he swore never.

  But the next Saturday night he was there. At some point she started leaving her door unlocked for him and he stopped swearing never.

  And somewhere along the way, he fell in love with her. The visits that began out of a desperate need to have sex with her had turned into a need to be with her, to see her, and talk with her. Ever since Ellen's death, he had shied away from any commitment. He hadn't wanted a woman permanently in his life. He’d slept with other women, but they usually wanted something he wasn't ready to give and so he cut them off quickly. His crude method worked, but he rarely saw the same woman more than a few times. Until Talley.

  The one woman he thought he could finally give of himself was the love of his son's life. Now he laughed bitterly at the cruel twist of fate and wished he were a better man.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Talley dreamed she was swimming in a pond. Ice floes as big as cows bobbed up and down in the icy cold water although the sun was bright and the pasture was green and dotted with flowers. Mace and Mitch stood side by side on the grassy bank. They waved to her, then threw their arms around one another, turned, and walked away.

  “Help me!” she cried out and opened her eyes.

  Now she was awake but didn't know where she was. A small, primitive room, plain wood walls, beam ceiling. She was piled with blankets but she shivered so hard her teeth rattled.

  And she hurt. Her face hurt, her head and stomach hurt. Her arm. She tried to move but the pain was unbearable and she cried out.

  “Darlin,” she heard and a warm callused hand gently touched her forehead.

  “Mace? I'm so cold.”

  “I'm here, darlin. I put every blanket in the place on you and stoked the fire as high as I can get it.”

  “I'm cold,” she said again and shivered.

  Mace took off his boots, lifted the covers and slid in beside her, the old springs squealing in protest. The rusted iron twin bed wasn't made for two, but he carefully gathered her into his arms and tucked the blankets in around them.

  Every movement hurt, but she bit her lip to keep from crying out again. She was afraid he wouldn't stay if he thought he caused her discomfort. She snuggled deep into his arms, into his warmth.

  “Where are we?”

  “The old homeplace, the house my grandparents built when they first married. I fixed it up. I come here sometimes when I need to get away from everything.” He brushed her tangled hair back. “What happened, Lee? Who did this to you?”

  She told him what Jack had done. “When I refused to go with him and told him to use the knife, he started hitting me and wouldn't stop.”

  “I'll kill him,” Mace swore.

  Talley didn't try to dissuade him.

  “I hurt, Mace.”

  “I know. I couldn't find anything broken or busted. Some bruises and a black eye. I'm sorry, Lee.”

  “Hold me, Mace.”

  “I am holding you.”

  “Don't let me go.”

  “I'll hold you as long as you want me to, darlin’.”

  Talley slept for a long time and when she woke, Mace was still beside her. The chill in her bones was gone but she didn't want to tell Mace. She wanted to remain in his arms.

  “I love you, Mace,” she whispered.

  “I love you, too, Talley. Now, can I get up for a minute? I need to piss real bad.”

  Reluctantly, she let him go. She closed her eyes. He loved her too. She had never had any doubt, not really. He just didn't know how to say the words. Didn't know how
to get around her involvement with Mitch. If only he had said he loved her long ago. So much of this could have been avoided.

  She drifted off again and when she woke, Mace was seated in a chair as close as he could get it to the bed, sipping coffee.

  “I heated some soup for you.” He got the cup and helped her sit up. She wore nothing but a clean denim work shirt that covered everything to her knees.

  She sipped the chicken noodle soup through swollen lips. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

  He helped her up and held her as she limped to the door. Every step was painful, jarring some muscle Jack had punched or kicked. She winced but tried not to react to the pain so Mace wouldn't know how bad it was.

  “It's not really a bathroom,” he apologized and lit a kerosene lamp. “But you'll have some privacy.”

  The room was no larger than a closet. A mirror hung on the wall with a shelf below that held the lamp, soap and shaving gear. A clean towel draped over a nail in the wall. An old bucket and dipper, washbasin, and chamber pot served their original purposes.

  It hurt to pee and her urine was dark and strong but not bloody. Maybe she hadn't suffered any major damage from Jack's beating. She dipped fresh cold water into the basin and washed her face, skipping the black and purple bruise under her eye. She cleaned away the crusted blood from the cut on her neck. She lifted the shirt and stared at the array of bruises across her skin. One huge bruise made a circle the size of her fist at her side.

  Slowly, she walked back into the other room, her hand at her side. “I think we can head back now. Have my clothes dried out?”

  “Come here, darlin,” Mace said but he went to her and helped her to the front door. He opened it and turned on a flashlight. Talley gasped. The powerful beam illuminated an entire landscape encased in a thick layer of crystal. Bits of ice slanted across the light as they fell.

  “I thought you said it wouldn't accumulate.”

  “I was wrong.” He turned off the flashlight, shut the door, and led her back to the bed. He tucked the blankets around her again and handed her the cup of soup.

  “Your car is stuck in a ditch. When I found you—”

  “What took you so long! It was dark when Jack attacked me. You couldn't have still been working.”

  “I came here. I was going to stay the night here anyway, but I kept thinking about that piece of junk you drive and your bad tires. That's the only reason I left.” His hands shook around his coffee cup. “It scares the hell out of me to think I might not have found you. I tried to get the truck here to the shack, but it got stuck and I carried you the rest of the way.”

  “Mace.”

  “I'm right here.”

  “I like saying your name. Mace.”

  He remained quiet a few moments, then, “What do you want, Lee?”

  She didn't think he meant what she wanted at this moment. What did she want for the rest of her life?

  “That's the wrong question,” she said and clamped her lips shut. She’d sworn she would never prompt him. She shouldn't have told him she loved him first, but the words spilled out before she could stop them. He had answered her with no hesitation, no indecision, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to speak of his love for her.

  His face screwed up in a frown. “Then what's the right question?”

  She shook her head and sipped the soup.

  “You're not going to tell me. I have to figure it out myself?”

  She didn't look at him.

  “Okay, Lee, you asked for it. I've known what the right questions are for a long, long time. Are you ready to hear them?”

  She shot him a look. “Are you ready to ask them and mean them?”

  “I've been ready for some time.” He stood and paced to the fireplace. “The most important question is, will you stop seeing Mitch?”

  “It's not the most important question, but I'll answer it. Mitch has to let go of us on his own. If I leave him, he'll never be able to forgive you. I don't matter, but you're his father. I know I'm the wedge that has driven you farther away from one another, but I won't be what breaks you apart.”

  He stiffened. “Then there ain't any more questions to be asked.”

  “Oh yes, there is.” Talley threw back the covers and her resolve along with them. She had to know that Mace wasn't giving anything up. Slowly she moved her legs over the edge of the bed.

  “Don't get up. I'll come to you.” He strode across the room and sat in the chair.

  “Mitch is no happier than he was the night he found us. He's tried and I've tried, but it's not working. I hate traveling with him and he needs someone to be with him on the road. All he can talk about is his music and I want more.” Talley wrapped her hands around his. “I miss you. You see, that's how I knew. I miss you when I'm with Mitch. I miss you so much I hurt. But when I'm with you, I don't miss him very much at all. That's how I knew I loved you best."

  He grinned a little and squeezed her hands. “Then what are the other questions?”

  “Eventually Mitch will get tired of this and want to call it quits. He's already hinted at it, but I keep convincing him things will get better.”

  “Did you ever think that things would be better between you if I weren't in the picture?”

  “Yeah, I've thought about that often. It's too late, though. You're already in my heart.”

  Mace pulled his hands free and fumbled with cigarettes, lit two, and handed her one. She drew deeply on it and sighed.

  “The next time he suggests it's over I can simply agree with him.”

  “Then what?”

  Talley smiled. “That's the question I need answered from you.”

  He blew out a trail of smoke. “You want to know what my intentions are.”

  She nodded. “You've never given me any reason to think you had any intentions where I was concerned, other than sex. You told me that first time, remember? You said you didn't want anything or anyone in your life permanently. I think you drink yourself into oblivion to make sure no woman will have you.”

  “You may be right.” He crushed out his cigarette. “But before I answer your question, I have one for you. Why did you let me into your bed that first night?”

  She grinned sheepishly. “For the sex. I hadn't been sleeping with Mitch and I needed a warm body next to mine, just for a little while. You were someone I could trust. And I knew you wouldn't use it against me later because you wouldn't want Mitch to find out any more than I would. It was supposed to be a one-night stand, just a way to get through the long, lonely nights until I felt it was the right time for Mitch and me.” She made a face. “That sounds so stupid when I say it out loud, but it made perfect sense that night.”

  “I know what you mean.”

  “Now it's your turn. Why did you come to my bed?”

  “To get laid. I kept coming back because it was good.” His eyes softened and he smiled crookedly. “And then I was coming back because I didn't think I could get through another week without seeing you.” He lit up another cigarette. “I know what you want to hear, Lee.”

  “Don't you dare say it just because I want to hear it! Say it because you mean it.”

  “I love you. I will come to you again and I will make love to you again and I will ask you to marry me—but not until you're free. Those are my intentions and what you do with them is up to you. Now finish your soup and get some rest.”

  “Yes, Mace,” Talley said happily. She took another swallow then handed the cup out to him. “I've had enough. Will you see if my socks are dry? My feet are cold.”

  Mace took the cup, but Talley was puzzled by his foolish grin.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Mace went to the stove and retrieved Talley's socks from among her clothes hanging on the ladderback chairs to dry. He brought them to her but didn't hand them over.

  “Get back in bed,” he said.

  Talley scooted back, still sitting up, and held out her hand.

  “Lie down, Lee. I'
ll put them on.”

  “I don't think they'll fit you.”

  He snorted. “I'll put them on you.”

  She did as she was told, straightening the shirt to keep everything covered. When she had settled, he sat on the edge of the bed, the rusty springs shrieking their disapproval, and placed one foot in his lap. His hand massaged her toes.

  “Damn, they're like ice cubes.”

  “I always have cold feet. I usually wear socks to bed.”

  He frowned. “You never wore socks when I came to your bed.”

  “I didn't need to. You warmed me all the way to my toes.”

  He lightly traced the curve of her arch. She couldn't snatch the foot away. The quick movement would hurt too much. She moved it from side to side trying to evade his fingers.

  “Don't, Mace. Don't make me laugh. It'll hurt.”

  “Sorry, darlin.” He leaned over and gently placed a kiss just under the backside of her toes.

  “What are you doing, Mace?”

  “Making out with your toes. Maybe Mitch won't mind if I stay below the ankle.”

  She had to laugh and it did hurt. She wanted to cry.

  “Well, my toes are about the only part of me that does feel like making out.”

  “I'm sorry, Lee. I forgot for a minute why you're here.” He reached for her socks.

  “Don't stop, Mace.” She wiggled her toes at him. “See how excited they are. You've got them all turned on. You can't leave them hanging now.”

  “We're asking for trouble. You know that, don't you?”

  “I know. She moved her heel closer to him, on top of the warm bulge in his jeans.

  “Hmmph,” he grunted, pushing her foot back to a safer distance. “Don't, darlin. It's hard enough as it is.”

  “Mace!” She giggled and held her side. “I said don't make me laugh. It hurts too much.”

  He winked at her then turned back to her foot.

  With tender strokes, he massaged her foot from heel to toe and finished with a kiss to the most sensitive area in her arch. Then he slipped on her sock and carefully folded down the top. Her other foot received the same treatment. When he was done, Talley sighed and wished she weren't battered. She wished it was already over between her and Mitch.