Make Me

by Amanda Heath

  Dancing is freaking fun. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun. I’m moving my hips and torso to the music. My arms are above my head, and it feels freeing. I thought I might get too much male attention but it seems like everyone is leaving me alone. Something I’m very grateful for.

  Or it could be because Annabella came over to dance with me. I can’t believe she showed up with Pierce and posse in tow. She doesn’t say anything as she starts dancing but I give her a look and she explains. “Channing will break anyone’s hand that touches you and Pierce will kill anyone who touches me. You’re the safest dance partner I can have.” She says the last with a little twirl and raises her drink in the air. I’m too drunk to tell her Channing wouldn’t hurt anyone for me.

  I dance for about thirty more minutes, and then I decide I’m ready for bed. “I’m going to go. I’m tired,” I yell over the music at Annabella.

  She nods and stops dancing. She doesn’t tell me bye or good night. Just walks over to Pierce and gives him a flirty little smile.

  I’m heading to my guesthouse when Kellan and Brody (both super drunk) stop me. They call me a party pooper but I wave it off. Its one o’clock in the morning and I’m tired.

  I finally make it away from them and into the kitchen. I’m about to open the door when I realize it’s pouring down raining. This makes me sad for a second but then I get super happy. I can go dance in the rain. And no one will see me!

  I’m out the door before I know it and out in the open rain. It pelts my face but I only close my eyes and lift up my arms. I sing, “Roar” by Katy Perry, in my head, and dance to my own music. I’m soaking wet before long and I don’t even care. I’m moving around like no ones business when I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist.

  I almost let out a scream but I’ve opened my eyes and realized its Channing with his arms wrapped around me. I quickly remember the look we exchanged earlier and my heart starts racing. The blood roars in my veins, begging me to touch him back.

  His black hair is plastered to his face and his clothes are soaked. I look down his body, taking in the clothes, dripping wet and sticking to his body like a second skin. That’s when I notice I was about to go into the pool before he saved me.

  It’s hard to figure out what happens next. My thoughts are scattered and making no sense. I just know he did something nice for me and I want to thank him. So I lift up on my toes and place my lips against his, super soft. I let off just as quickly, thinking how soft his lips are and I want to kiss him again. “Thank you.”

  He doesn’t let me go, and he doesn’t say anything. He just stares at my lips. I’m mesmerized by the look in his eyes. Its all heat and male. Primal. Oh sweet Jesus. The rain is freezing but I don’t notice, I’m too drunk and too turned on.

  Heat blasts from his body, keeping me close to him. He doesn’t stop staring and I don’t know what to do. My thighs are tingling and my body aches for him to touch me. It seems like I’ve waited years for him to touch me. I lift back up on my toes and right before my lips meet his, I say, “Kiss me.” It’s a demand and it’s a plea.

  I notice his breathing is heavy, just like mine. His fingers tightened when I demanded he kiss me, and it seems like forever before he moves. Those amazing lips slam down on mine and I erupt. My arms go around his neck and right into his hair. He’s too tall for me, so I jump up and wrap my legs around him. His palms immediately go to my thighs, and then under my dress.

  It’s not long before he’s using his tongue to pry my mouth open. The warmth and taste of him, hits me like a ton of bricks. I moan around his lips and clutch him tighter to me. Then I’m being set down on something cold and wet.

  I open my eyes and break away. I didn’t even notice us moving but now I’m sitting on the hood of my car. Channing though, he doesn’t let me get away for long. His lips are back on mine and his tongue is demanding my submission. His taste is so powerful it nearly knocks me over. Warm spice, mint, and whiskey. Mmmmm.

  He breaks away from my lips, and starts trailing his up and down my neck. I’m panting so hard; it’s a wonder I don’t pass out from lack of oxygen. My hands leave his neck to go under his shirt. We both groan when my hands touch his skin. His abs are toned and a little more packed than they looked.

  I’m growing impatient, so I try to rip the thing off of him. Then I realize it has buttons so I do rip it open. Buttons fly everywhere but I don’t care. His golden skin is on display and I want to touch him. So I do.

  His chest is broader than it looks, blocking out the rest of the world while I’m pressed to it. His lips start sucking deeply at my neck, before he bites me, gently. I moan and press against him. The softness of me meets the hardness of him. That makes him bite hard, so I start grinding on it.

  Boy does that feels good.

  His lips come back up to mine, and then his tongue is there, thrusting against mine. I moan when his hands reach my panties. They never left my ass. He was just sitting there squeezing it. That felt amazing too. I think he is going to stop me, or at least touch me, but he doesn’t. No he slips his hands under my panties and starts pulling them down. My breathing hitches even more. He finally pulls them off and then reaches to lift my dress up. My sex is exposed and when he gets his first look, he groans.

  The lighting isn’t perfect but there’s a street lamp near by, giving us just enough to see everything. Like him pulling out his wallet. I hear the crinkling of the foil packet as he puts the wallet back in his pocket. I don’t waste any time in unzipping him. I notice the absence of his belt, but I don’t think about that.

  I just want him inside me.

  I move his briefs out of the way, getting my hand on his hardness. His hand moves mine gently away, before he slides the condom over it. This is where I should start freaking out. I shouldn’t let it go any further. I don’t know that much about him, other than he’s an asshole. That he hates me, but since I’m freaking drunk, my body is telling my head to shut up. And it listens.

  He tilts my hips up a little and looks down at me. His thumb brushes over my sex, making me squirm. His eyes look up at mine and the storm in there, it makes me lose every doubt I’ve ever had about him. This guy, he wants me. Those eyes tell me he’d do anything to have me, too.

  So I move my hips against his erection, letting out little noises with how good it feels. His eyes finally leave mine, looking back down at me. He watches the whole time as he enters me. Slowly, so slowly. Its freaking torture and I want to tell him to hurry, but the words are caught in my throat.

  He’s freaking big and it hurts. I thought it was only supposed to hurt the first time. Though when he gets all the way in, he stills and lifts my chin, his lips meeting mine. My hands wrap around his neck, holding on. The kiss gets me fired up again, so I move my hips little to let him know I’m okay.

  Channing doesn’t waste any time. He pulls out only to slam back home. God, that feels amazing. His lips never leave mine as he pounds into me. It’s not gentle but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I clutch my legs around his narrow waist and hold on.

  He lets my lips go, only to set his forehead against mine. I’m lost in the way he looks right now. There is total rapture on his gorgeous face. Like he’s never done anything better than this. I don’t really blame him, because I feel the same way.

  I feel something build up in my lower belly. It coils and springs apart as I watch his face. I’m so lost in my release I don’t notice my nails digging and scratching his back. He lets out a growl and his thrusts get out of control, jerky.

  Then it’s over and everything just got awkward. If it wasn’t me, I would think the shocked looks on our faces would be comical. He slowly pulls out of me, and we both groan at the loss.

  He pulls my dress down, and then fixes his jeans. I have no idea where my panties are, but I don’t care. I’m waiting for him to move so I can get away. But he doesn’t, he just stares at me.

  It’s at this point I realize its not raining anymore, and we j
ust had sex on the hood of my car. I feel the vomit burn the back of my throat, so I push him out of the way. I race to my guesthouse, slamming the door when I get inside. I’m not sure if he’ll follow me, so I lock the door before running to my bathroom.

  I empty my stomach of everything and I still dry heave. I hear people banging on the door, but I never get up to answer it. I know he’ll be there. I can feel him out there. Its like he’s marked me as his, and now all I feel is him. This so not good.

  I finally get off the floor and brush my teeth. I go into my bedroom and see Maggie lying there, looking at me. I quickly change into my PJs and climb in behind her.

  I try to block out the thoughts, but they just keep coming. I just fucked Channing Southerland on my car. We hate each other. I don’t know him. I’m a slut. Over and over again. The banging on my door lasts a very long time. I know its Rachel and Brody. I think they are worried about me. My phone keeps going off as well.

  I don’t answer any of it. I’m completely numb, except for the thoughts in my head. They still won’t shut up. Then I just close my eyes and go to sleep.

  Chapter 13

  THE NEXT DAY, I’m hung-over. I don’t know why I thought I wouldn’t be. Seeing as how many tequila shots I had. Though I did hope the throwing up would take care of it.

  My head pounds, my stomach churns, and I’m so freaking thirsty. That is what gets me out of bed. I keep PowerAde in my fridge, for after I swim. I make my way to my kitchen and stumble around, until I finally make it to the fridge. I’m sucking down the blue stuff before I know it.

  I rummage around in my drawers until I find a bottle of pain medicine. I pop two of those in and lay my head down on the bar. Images now flash through my head. Me kissing Channing in the rain, making out with Channing on the hood of my car, letting Channing take my panties off, having sex with Channing on the hood of my car, and finally running after said sex with Channing. I have become a slut overnight.

  What came over me! I don’t have sex with random dudes on the hood of my car, let alone have sex. This is crazy. Who have I become? I don’t know this girl. Everything mattered before. Now nothing matters. Yes, I’m ashamed of myself, but it’s not like I had sex with several different people last night. We used protection and that’s more than my friend Carly does.

  I shake my head and close my eyes. The look on his face is seared into my mind. It won’t leave. I would scrub it from my mind with my loofa, but I want to remember it. I want to remember the look that I gave him. He wasn’t closing his eyes and thinking of another girl while having that face. No he was looking into my eyes, telling how much he wanted me. Letting me know it was I, and no one else.

  Fuck.

  I’m in over my head. Now I don’t know how to act around him. He never said anything to me. Not one word. Then I remember the taste of him. Warm spice, mint and whiskey. He must have been drunk, just like me. Maybe he won’t remember or will pretend it didn’t happen. I hope it’s the first but I know it’ll be the latter.

  But now I know what it’s like with him. Even standing here, hung-over from hell, my body wants him. It liked what he could give us. I’ve never even gotten myself off, let alone when I had sex with Derek. Channing didn’t even have to try. I was sitting there like a dog in heat. Panting and scratching his back. I’m such a slut!

  I decide to put it at the back of my mind. I have other things I need to think about. I have an essay due in Mr. Talon’s class, and a whole chapter I have to go over in Mr. Horton’s class. Yeah, I’ll do my homework and pretend it never happened.

  I push up from the bar and head into my bathroom. I brush my teeth and hair before I look at myself. I’m afraid of what I’ll find. Shock rushes over me when I see my neck. There are two hickeys, one on the right side and one of the left. The one on the left is faint, easy to cover up with make-up. The one on my right is dark red and I peek close to notice two teeth mark near the top.

  He freaking marked me. I’m about to be ticked off when I remember his back. I had to have left marks. I was digging my nails into him. I don’t even know how I’m going to able to go to school tomorrow. I will never have enough make-up to cover that up. I don’t think anyone will think it strange if I wear a scarf. It is October and a bit drafty outside. Yeah, I can wear a white t-shirt with my grey scarf, some jeans, and my ugg boots. That’s totally a style right now.

  Yeah but what do I do about tomorrow? I could get away with a scarf today, since I don’t plan on partying tonight. That won’t seem strange. But two days in a row? Rachel would catch on. There’s no way she would miss it.

  Speaking of Rachel, I should probably check my phone. I bet she is ticked off about last night. I did kind of just abandon her. I quickly find the phone in my room. I never turned it off, so I notice the twenty text messages and four missed calls.

  I go through the text messages and feel like crap, until I notice one is from this morning. And I don’t know the number. The rest are all from Rachel, Brody, and Kellan. They wanted to know if I was okay, or if I needed any help. A few at the beginning wanted to know where I was.

  I sent a text to all three of them, saying I was fine and I just fell asleep. They all know I’m a hard sleeper. I fell asleep once in seventh period, and apparently they were shaking me and calling my name, trying to wake me. Channing, I believe, finally dropped a book on the table in front of me, which got me up.

  I finally look at the last message. Even though I don’t have his number saved in my phone, I know its him. The message reads loud and clear.

  I’m sorry

  There is only one person who would feel they needed to apologize. Before I can lose my nerve, I text him back.

  It’s okay. We were both drunk. These things happen.

  I almost put it was just a mistake, but it doesn’t feel like one to me, and I don’t want him to think I think that. I feel touched though, that he sent me a text. He could have pretended it never happened. He could have thrown it in my face. He could have done a lot of things, but he chose to be sweet. I don’t think Channing Southerland tells that many people he is sorry.

  I leave last night behind as I grab a shower. By the time I’m out and getting dressed, Rachel is knocking on my door. I’ve found that my hair covers up the second hickey. I’m so glad I didn’t get it all cut off when Grandma suggested it. I would be in on hell of a pickle right now.

  “Girl you missed it last night! I was so pissed you went to bed!” she exclaims upon walking into my house. I cringe from her high-pitched voice and move to the couch.

  “What happened?” I inquire, not really caring what did happen.

  She smiles fondly, as if she is reliving it in her head. “So get this, Royal has been booty calling Natasha since the beginning of the year.” She moves to the couch besides me, setting her bag down on the coffee table. “He goes off and hooks up with a junior last night. She found them in a room together, and went insane. She was running around the house, destroying their clothes. She was calling the poor girl all kinds of rude names. It’s not like any of us knew.

  “Anyway, she was causing this huge scene, when Channing walks in.” She smirks, looking away from me. What did Channing do? “His shirt was open and he was soaking wet. Brody said later it looked like he just came from some tryst. I don’t know if that is true because I asked him what happened. He said he got drunk and wanted to go for a swim. He ripped his shirt off because he didn’t have the patience to take it off. He said it started raining while he was in there.”

  She takes her phone out of her bag and starts typing. I assume she is answering the text message she just got. She finishes while typing. “So anyway, he kicks Natasha out and told her to find new friends. He really didn’t like her embarrassing his best friend.”

  “That was harsh of him. Though I don’t blame him,” I tell her sitting back on the couch and closing my eyes.

  “He was in a weird mood last night. His face wasn’t blank at all.” I feel her scoot closer, making sure
I know this next part is juicy. “He looked like he just had a really good time with someone.” I pop my eyes open and look at her, but she finishes before I can make up some excuse. “I thought maybe it was you, but he said he passed you going to your house.”

  “Yeah I know what you mean. He didn’t say anything to me when I passed him. I was drunk and ready for a verbal lashing.” I close my eyes again, this time Channing standing there with his shirt open, water dripping everywhere, and his hair crazy messy. Shivers float over my skin and my thighs instantly start tingling.

  My hormones seem to be even worse now that I’m not drunk.

  I hear a loud nose before a big splash. I open my eyes and exchange looks with Rachel. The boys are here. I try to make up some excuse about going out there, but she takes me anyway. Brody and Kellan are in the water. I start to breathe in relief until Channing walks out from the kitchen. His hair is flat, falling onto his forehead. He’s wearing a white t-shirt that clings to him and swim trunks. Sunglasses cover his eyes, but I feel them on me. His face is blank and I’m thankful. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I knew what he was thinking.

  Rachel and I sit in the lounge chairs and start talking to the guys in the pool. Royal shows up about the time Channing is taking off his shirt. His back is to me on the other side of the pool. I hiss in a breath when I see his back. There are little half moon indentions and four long red scratches. I feel heat instantly flood my cheeks.

  “Damn Channing, had a wild one did you?” Royal taunts, playfully punching him in the arm.

  Channing stiffens and I wonder if he knew they were even there. He looks over his shoulder, his eye downcast, trying to get a look. His eyes, no longer covered in sunglasses, meet mine and my breathing goes from normal to panting in a nanosecond. The smoky blues swirling with his lust. And there’s a fierce look on his face, one that says if he had the chance he would come over here and claim me.