Make Me

by Amanda Heath

“Paisley, please. Jesus Christ. I can’t do this anymore.” He pauses and that’s when I hear it. The sob. The brokenness that is Channing. You never really know how broken someone is until you hear them break some more. “I miss you. I can’t keep fighting you. You’re fucking everywhere, baby girl. In my dreams, where I sleep, in my fucking head. I just can’t stand the fact that that asshole was going to be here. He touched you. And I’ve touched you, so I know -- he wants to touch you again. And then you wouldn’t back down, you took me on. No one takes me on but you. That means something to me.” I can hear the tears in his voice and my own flow like crazy.

  I open the door as fast as I can and jump into his arms. My legs go around his waist and my arms around his neck. Though he’s good this time and keeps his hands on my hips. I move my hands to his face and look into his eyes. “I missed you, too. Don’t ever do that to me again. I might kill someone.” I kiss his lips hard and fast before breaking away. I put my forehead to his and say, “If I wanted him, that’s where I would be. I’ve never wanted anyone, not like this. I can’t breathe without you. I can’t see without you. I want to be wherever you are.” I close my eyes tight and press my lips against his. He goes to say something, but I stop him. “I love you Channing. I don’t know why I told you all those weeks ago to make me. I was already there.”

  He moves his head back and looks at me with awe. I stare into his eyes and let him know it’s true. Then he smiles and it’s radiant. “I love you, too.”

  Chapter 27

  WE KISS ON my threshold for a little while. It all starts out sweet and loving but I’m kissing Channing so it ends up hot, passionate and hard. And I’m not just talking about the bulge in his pants.

  I’m wrapped around him as he carries me into the house. He slams the front door with his foot and then my bedroom door once he carries me in there. Normally I would be nervous, or I think I would be. I’ve never had the intention to have sex with him before. Right now though, I’m all over that like white on rice.

  He stalks to my bed and throws me down gently, before gently landing on me himself. We don’t talk as we take off our clothes. There’s no time really, seeing as we are both in a hurry. We have been building this since the day I kissed him at his house.

  His chest comes into view and I break away from his lips to trail kisses along his torso. He shudders when I place a kiss above his jeans. Then I unbutton them and pull the zipper. He stands away from me and pulls the jeans over his hips; they land on the floor with a soft thump. He flips me onto my back and unzips my dress. It was already pushed under my breasts, so it slips off easily enough.

  He takes off his boxers before I can blink. Then he’s back on the bed and taking my bra off and then my panties. His lips find mine again and he thrusts his tongue into my mouth. One of his hands goes down to the softest place on my body. His deft fingers play with me for seemingly endless moments. He finally thrust a finger inside of me, causing me to cry out. Before long I’m pumping my hips in time with his fingers. He uses his thumb on my exposed nerve, which makes me fall over the edge. I swear I scream out his name, but I can’t be sure.

  “You’re definitely ready now, baby.” He groans before sitting up. He bends over the bed and before long comes back up with a condom. Before he puts it on, he stares down at me intensely. “Paisley, I would love nothing better to fuck you right now, but I have to know this is what you want.”

  “Yeah, this is what I want.” I sit up with him. My breasts brush against his chest when I wrap my arms around his neck. I straddle his hips and start kissing him. Around our lips I say, “I love you, and I can’t wait anymore.”

  “Good,” he whispers, before breaking away from my lips. He opens the condom and rolls it onto his erection. And then he’s pushing inside of me. I throw my head back at the pleasure and Channing starts nibbling and sucking on my neck.

  He starts with a slow rhythm, driving us both crazy. I rock my hips against him, trying to make him go faster. This feels absolutely amazing though. I know deep down inside it will always feel this amazing. “Channing…” I moan, eliciting a shudder from deep inside him.

  “What, baby girl?” he murmurs, bending his head to slip a nipple into his mouth.

  “Go faster.” I say on a moan, arching my back even more so he can get a good taste.

  He chuckles but doesn’t go any faster. I remove my hands from his hair and slide them down his neck. When I make it to his shoulders, I start digging my nails into his back. He lets out a growl, which only excites me more.

  He finally pushes me back on the bed, never leaving my body. I’m flat on my back while he hovers over me on his arms. They are straight as boards and his knees are bent. My hips are tilted to meet his harder, faster thrusts.

  That look of rapture is back on his face. The one from the night on my car. I freaking love it. The way he looks right now, so into what we are doing. I make him mindless and I bring him as much pleasure as he brings me. That is powerful.

  I want to close my eyes but he won’t stop looking into them. Even when I dig my nails even harder into his back. I know I’ll leave marks, but I know he loves it. He sets his forehead on mine and whispers, “I love you, Paisley.” And the deep tight coil in my lower belly erupts. I’m screaming his name and he’s biting my shoulder, as he body jerks with his release.

  Afterwards, he falls on top of me, breathing deeply. He’s heavy but I would never ask him to move. When it seems he’s caught his breath, he gets up and goes into the bathroom. I roll from my back onto my butt and sit up. I’m swinging my legs over the side of the bed, when he walks back out. I try to pass him to go in to the bathroom, but he snags me up in his arms. “Where are you going?”

  I roll my eyes, “To clean up.” I say, my cheeks flaming.

  He starts walking me backwards, to the bed. “No you are going to get right back in that bed.” This he growls, but I easy drop away from him and move to the bathroom.

  “No, I’m going to clean up,” I say, raising one eyebrow. And then Channing does something I’ve never seen him do. All six and a half feet of him pouts. Bottom lip out, shoulders slumped and his eyes sad. I only laugh. “We can come back to bed later. I left my friends at Royal’s.”

  He rolls his eyes but goes to grab his pants from the floor. I go into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I quickly jump in and wash my body. Then I turn it off and get out. Channing walks in with some jeans and a sweater plus undies and a bra. I blush a little but I don’t say anything.

  He is completely dressed, so he sits on the toilet while I get dressed and pull my hair up. We exit the bathroom together. I find my flats right next to my bed with socks already in them. I chuckle. “You’re becoming very handy, Channing.”

  He grins before dropping down beside me while I put my shoes on. He leans over and kisses my hair. “Anything for my girl.” Butterflies build up in my stomach and I can’t help wearing the goofiest grin ever on my face.

  “Damn straight.” I tell him, before bursting out in happy laughter.

  ***

  This is not what I expected to find when I entered Rachel and Royal’s house. The party is still going, but our group and my friends from back home are all partying in the living room. Mark and Carly are dry humping to the music. Lola and Brody are practically having sex on the couch. Nothing-new there. Royal is deflated on the couch, staring at a scowling Wesley, who is also next to the door. Derek and Jasmine are making out against the wall, close to the TV. Rachel and Kellan are flirting on the floor a few feet from Royal.

  I refrain my eyes from bugging out at the sight of Pierce and Annabella standing a few feet behind Wesley. Channing stiffens next to me.

  “What the fuck did we just walk into?” Channing mutters, staring at Wesley, Pierce and Annabella.

  “I don’t know, baby.” I shrug but take joy in the light in his eyes after I call him baby. I only figure he should get the full treatment that he gives me.

  He leans down and moves my sweater a
little off my shoulder. He bends over it and kisses his bite mark. I, of course, shiver and meet the heat in his eyes. “I’m going to go talk to Royal. You take care of Wesley.” Then he does his forehead thing. “Don’t get tired. I’ll be keeping you up all night.”

  Instantly I need another freaking shower. I seriously hate dirty underwear! Ugh, he knows that too, the douche canoe. I roll my eyes and try to get through the uncomfortable feeling.

  “Hi, Wesley,” I say to her, holding out my hand. “I’m Paisley.”

  She rolls her eyes before taking my hand. “I know who you are. The Cinderella of Meadows.” Pierce snickers behind her and I glare at him.

  Then I’m scowling at her. “Look, I don’t know you, you don’t know me.” I cross my arms over my chest and take a look at Royal. He’s shit-faced drunk but he won’t stop staring at Wesley. “I do know that Royal is like my brother, and you’re hurting him. Which is hurting me. So we have a problem.” Pierce instantly tenses when I say “problem” but he can get over it. His fight isn’t with me.

  She looks a little ticked off but doesn’t blow up in my face like I thought she might. “How do you do it?” she asks, her eyes suddenly pleading with mine.

  “Do what?” I ask, uncrossing my arms and leaning closer to her.

  “Be with one of them? I mean, I have money too, but my money isn’t good money. They have old money. They have trust funds that were set up before they were even thought of.” She pauses and looks down at the floor. “I know you are like that now, but you weren’t raised that way. You’re from the wrong side of the tracks. And Channing is a freaking god.” Her face gets a little flushed when she looks up at Royal. “So is Royal.”

  I bite my lip and look at my boyfriend. Royal and Channing might both feel like gods, but they are only human. Channing and I still have things to work out but I know in the long run, everything is going to work out. “That’s the thing you have to remember. They aren’t gods. They are human like everyone else. You might not be able to believe that one of them loves you, but they do. And just like with any good man, they love with their whole heart. You feel like every time they look at you, you become their goddess and you’ll never know anything bad again in your life.” I smile up at Channing, who’s watching me while soothing Royal. “You might have bad parts, but that’s in every relationship. You’ll even cause some of them.” I laugh remembering Channing and my courting of each other. “I was scared, too, Wesley. I didn’t know what to do with him. But finally I realized that I was more miserable without him than I would ever be with him. I gave him that one chance and he blew me away.” I look at her, as she studies my face to see if I’m being truthful. “Just give him one chance. I promise he won’t blow it.”

  And then I walk away from her. I cross the room to my boyfriend. He doesn’t look up but he knows I was coming. He opens his arms and I climb into his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck and place my face in his neck. God, I love the way he smells. Expensive, earthy, all male.

  Before long his warm spicy breath finds mine and we are making out on the couch, along side Lola and Brody. I don’t even care that everyone can see us, and for once neither does Channing.

  I couldn’t be happier.

  Chapter 28

  THANKSGIVING IS A huge affair. I invite everyone to my guesthouse and I cook. Carly and Channing help me. Rachel tries to, but I make her go back in the living room with everyone else. She’d burn my turkey just by touching it.

  Almost everyone I invite shows up. Royal, Rachel, Channing, Brody, Kellan, Lola, Jasmine, Gram, Uncle Richard, and Papaw. I invited Grandma but she refused to show up if Gram was going to be here. BeeBee’s nanny brings her down for a little while so she can nibble on some turkey. Grandma was totally against that, so the nanny had to sneak out.

  I wish I could say it was drama free, but with this bunch, there’s bound to be some hysteria. Surprisingly the first fight came between Channing and Derek when Derek grabbed my butt. I’m used to it because Derek has been grabbing my butt since I first developed a butt. Everyone literally stopped what they were doing when Channing laid Derek on his ass.

  “The first time I let it go because you didn’t know about me. This time I’m going to warn you, if you touch my girl again, you’re going to end up in the hospital. And I’m not playing around,” Channing told him.

  I think my eyes were bugging out of my head. But I did let it go. Channing did warn Derek the first time he did it about three days earlier. He had it coming, I guess. I find the violent side of Channing scary. He’s never turn it my way but I just don’t think he needs to beat up every guy that touches me. Especially when I can knee them in the balls. He told me. “It’s a guy thing, Paisley. We have to mark our territory or everyone will think you’re free reign.”

  I rolled my eyes and went on with my life. I know he trusts me, he just doesn’t trust any other guy. I don’t care as long as he trusts me.

  Carly, Mark and Derek left the day after Thanksgiving. Mark had a family thing to get back to and I could tell Derek really didn’t want to be here anymore. Not that I blame him.

  I was sad to see Carly go. I didn’t realize how much I missed my best friend. I have Rachel for the most part, but it’s not the same. Rachel just doesn’t know me like Carly.

  “Hey, you want to go for a walk?” Channing asks, standing in my doorway. I had been watching TV, waiting on him to finish swimming. Their coach is pretty strict on them. They don’t even start competing until next semester, but they still have practice three times a week.

  “Sure,” I reply and get off the bed. I find my ugg boots near the front door and slip them on my feet. “Where are we walking to?” I ask, following him out the door.

  He grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. “Nowhere. I just feel like moving around for a little bit.”

  I shrug my shoulders and let him lead the way. We walk in silence as he leads me through the woods to his house. The path is clear and easy to walk through side by side. I take in the tall pine trees and the smell of their needles. I’ve never been one for walking around in the woods, but I still like the smell. Maggie follows behind us and every once in a while chases an animal.

  Before long Channing’s house is in view. At the end of the path its framed by the foliage around us and the sight is breathtaking. “I see why you walk through here,” I murmur to him, squeezing his hand. The house looks so peaceful and somewhere you would want to call home.

  Channing doesn’t say anything until he sits on the ground, pulling me into his lap. I lean back against him as he wraps his strong arms around me. “I was seven when I found this trail. At that point it only stopped right here. I’ve made it lead to the house in all the years since then.”

  “So you’ve been walking this trail for ten years?” I laugh, wondering why he’s telling me this.

  “Yeah. My mom was really bad at that point. Around Richard and Margret she was seemingly fine, but not around me. But that’s always how it was. If I wasn’t doing what she wanted, then I was being bad.” He takes a deep breath and nuzzles his nose into the back of my neck. “She used to lock me in my room for hours. I couldn’t have any of my toys, or a TV. Not that I had many toys. The only ones I owned came from Richard and Margret. Mom used to throw those away when I disappointed her. And I disappointed her a lot.

  “She wanted complete control in everything. Especially if it had to do with me. I don’t know what she did to my father, but he signed all his rights away, so he couldn’t help me. I don’t even remember him. I just have a few pictures. He was really old and died when I was six. Mom was already married to Richard then and he adopted me.” He laughs, but it’s not a nice sound. It’s dark and filled with hatred. “She couldn’t stand that he loved me. I think in her head, she thought she was the only one who could love me. When Margret became attached to me, I thought Mom was going to leave Richard. But she couldn’t do that because he had every right to me. I think she was scared he would take me from her
forever. And he would have if he knew everything.”

  He’s quiet for a while, so I just sit in his lap and let him finish. His skin is stretched tight over his bones and I can feel how tense his arms are. This is hard for him to tell me, but I’m glad to finally hear it. I don’t want him to go through it alone anymore.

  “My mother was a sick lady. But she hid it so well, even from me for the most part. Though I’m the only one she ever showed her true colors to.” He shifts me around a bit and moves his face to my shoulder, resting his chin on it. “I met Royal when I was five. We were quick friends and had a lot in common. He even showed me how to swim. It makes him so mad that I’m faster now, but I still let him win a few.” He chuckles and this time his laugh is lighter, filled with affection for Royal. “Mom couldn’t stand that I had a friend. So she used to invite him over and let him play with my toys, while I sat in the corner and watched. Then she would feed him lunch and let him watch movies. That’s when I had to go to my room. She did that a lot, didn’t feed me. I started learning how to feed myself way before I should have. Though she figured that out pretty quick and kept a better watch over me.

  “She hit me, and she did yell a lot. She called me all kinds of names, made fun of me, and generally told me how much she hated me. I didn’t even know what love was until Richard and Margret. Luckily Margret found me stealing food when I was ten and started making my mother back off. She always thought I would be skinny and lanky, she didn’t realize I wasn’t eating properly. Now she feeds me five times a day it seems and they are all big meals. I don’t have the heart to tell her I’m not hungry that much.

  “That’s when things with my mom changed. I started growing into a man. I got taller, my face got some fat, so I didn’t look like a ghost. And I was always swimming, so I got filled in. She started looking at me differently. Not like I was her son, but her love interest.” He stops and I know why. Once he said, “love interest” I knew what was coming next.