[2016] Alone and Pregnant

by Christian Michael

  “You look phenomenal,” Curt whispered.

  “Thank you.”

  “Shall we pray?” the reverend said.

  Heavenly Father, we witnesses are gathered here on this beautiful day to participate in the union of Curtis Aaron Langley and Kayla Lynnette Anderson as one before you. We pray that you would bless their marriage from this day forward. We thank you that you will give them opportunities to build their relationship with you and each other. Bless their journey and bring them evermore closer to you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  Curt and Kayla both repeated “Amen,” after their pastor and then the ceremony really got under way. Having written their own vows, both Curt and Kayla shared their hearts with one another in a sweet moment they would forever remember.

  “I vow to follow the admonishments of Proverbs 31 and 1 Corinthians 13. To love you in spite of your faults. To love you patiently and in kindness encourage you in your walk with God…” Kayla said.

  “I vow to love you as Christ loves the church and as I love my own self….” Curt read on. They exchanged wedding bands as well, repeating the words the pastor said. Then he concluded the ceremony.

  “Now, as these two have vowed to join their lives together if there is anyone who can show just cause why they should not be wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.” The moment of waiting passed and the pastor moved on. “Having vowed before God and this cloud of witnesses your eternal commitment to matrimony, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Curt, you may now kiss your bride.”

  Curt took Kayla’s hands and smiled as he pulled her closer. Looking into her beautifully green eyes, he pressed his lips gently to hers for the briefest of moments. “May I now present for the first time in history, Mr. and Mrs. Curtis Aaron Langley.”

  Curt and Kayla walked out of the church and Kayla was helped up into the covered wagon that Curt had brought out for today. Once she was settled, Curt joined her, covering her lap with a thick, winter, lap blanket. “Are you warm enough?”

  “Nothing could chill me today,” Kayla beamed. Smiling, she grabbed Curt’s suit jacket and pulled him to her, pressing her lips warmly to his. “Drive us home Mr. Langley.”

  “Absolutely Mrs. Langley.”

  Epilogue

  Kayla Langley learned through firsthand experience that Sadie had been spot on. A year after becoming Mrs. Curt Langley she gave birth to a handsome little boy they named Albert Aaron after his grandfathers and his father. He was the spitting image of Curt, except for his beautiful green eyes, which he took from his mother.

  “He’s darling,” Sadie said when she stopped by to see Kayla one afternoon.

  “He is the pinnacle of the love we share,” Kayla smiled. “I never knew I could have so much love in my heart and survive. So many different loves as well.”

  “I know what you mean,” Sadie smiled, holding her little one on her lap. “This little munchkin is so unlike her brother and sister. Barely twenty-two months and she already has her own personality, a beautiful combination of myself and Pecos.”

  “Did you find it difficult to adjust everything with your first one?”

  “Not really,” Sadie smiled. “For me it was not calling the doctor out every time Pecos sneezed. If he even looked weird I wanted to have the doctor visit. Big Pecos showed me how to trust that God had everything under control. I learned to lean on God through my husband. I think that’s the true testament to a strong, God-centered marriage. That our weaknesses become strengths as we allow God to use our spouse to help us.”

  Sadie stayed through the afternoon and helped Kayla with dinner. “Will you and Pecos stay and eat with us?”

  “Not tonight,” Sadie smiled. “Your little one will fall asleep and trust me at four months, you and Curt need some alone time together. Don’t forget, my friend that being a mother doesn’t negate the fact that you’re a wife as well.”

  “I’m not sure I know the meaning of the word right now,” Kayla laughed, exhaustion coating the sound.

  “Trust me, you will. It will get easier and you’ll once again find the longing for your husband undeniable.”

  “How do you and Pecos manage it with three children?”

  “The jump was difficult, especially because Pecos and Rachel are so much older already, but we learned as all parents inevitably do, to take things one day at a time. Eventually it all irons out and life becomes a routine that everyone can live with.”

  “I sure hope so,” Kayla chuckled. “Alright my friend. I will strive to remember that I am both a mother and a wife. You do me a favor and enjoy both your husband and your kids as well.”

  “I plan to,” Sadie laughed. “We’ll see you next weekend for supper. Maybe I can cook this time.”

  ***

  Curt came in later that afternoon to get washed up for supper. “Was that Sadie I saw leaving earlier?”

  “Yes,” Kayla elaborated. “She came by to visit and see how I was doing adjusting to life after Albert’s arrival.”

  “That was sweet of her.”

  “Truly,” Kayla smiled. “She admonished me to remember that I am equally a wife and mother.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I just think she wanted me to remember that being a mother doesn’t mean I’m not a wife. That I should remember you, as well as, Albert.”

  “You do remember me, don’t you?”

  “Maybe not in the areas I need to, although I do try.”

  “Albert’s only four months old, surely intimacy can wait.”

  “Sadie has a point,” Kayla said, bringing a spoon of spaghetti sauce over so he could taste it.

  “Fabulous,” Curt said. “And what would her point be?”

  “That being parents doesn’t negate that we’re married, that we’re spouses who are supposed to love each other.”

  “So holding off on intimacy is a symbol of not loving each other?”

  “I’m not saying that,” Kayla said, her frustration growing. “I’m just saying that it’d be nice to spend some time with you that doesn’t revolve around the ranch and Albert and everything else. To just sit with you and enjoy a cup of coffee, even if we never say a word to each other.”

  “I’m sorry Kayla,” Curt sighed. “I promised to be honest and upfront with you and I haven’t been. The truth is, I’m terrified to touch you. I’m scared that we’re not ready, that you still need to heal. I’m scared of getting pregnant too soon after Albert. I’m afraid that I’ll fail him and you.”

  “When did the man that I love become so fearful?” Kayla asked, coming over to him. Pressing a hand to his cheek she brought his beautiful baby blues to her face. “I love you Curtis Aaron Langley, no matter what life throws at us. I don’t care if we have two babies of twenty. I don’t care if we have this ranch or a two-bedroom shack. As long as I have you, Albert and God, I’m happy and I’m home.”

  “I don’t deserve you Kayla. But I swear I’m trying to be worthy of you.”

  “Oh hush,” Kayla scolded him. “You are worthy of me. If you weren’t we wouldn’t be happily married with a beautiful little boy and a life that fulfills us.”

  “Once again you’re absolutely right,” Curt chuckled. He brought Kayla into his arms and pressed a tender kiss to her hair. As they walked into the kitchen to start supper, Kayla thought about her ticket to Texas. She thanked God again, that she’d only asked for a one way ticket. It was all she’d needed.

  *****

  THE END.

  Lover’s Escape

  Mail Order Bride

  CHRISTIAN MICHAEL

  Chapter 1 – That’s Life

  June sat on the bench, nervously fidgeting with her ticket in her hands. Her train was set to arrive in 45 minutes, but she was told not to be late, so she arrived early. To her surprise, there wasn’t very many people waiting, so she got right through the ticket station and now awaited her train’s arrival.

  “If you worry that ticket much more, you won’t have much of it left
by the time your train arrives.”

  She jumped, startled by the voice of a young man. Looking around on the platform, she noticed a young gentleman with a round bowler’s cap on his head, leaning against a post. He apologized for startling her, and she smiled.

  “I’m a little antsy, I’m afraid.”

  “What’s the matter? Don’t like trains?”

  He casually crossed the platform and sat down on the bench next to her. June was struck by the sharp richness his blue eyes held, and how his neatly trimmed black beard emphasized the beauty within them. She found his gaze mesmerizing, but also felt embarrassed so she looked down at the ticket in her hands.

  “No, it’s not the train that bothers me. I like trains. You see, I am being sent away by my parents on a journey, and I desperately want to make them proud, but I’m not sure I want to take this trip.”

  “Oh?”

  The inquisition in his tone made June want to spill out the entire story, but there was something about his fine features that made her unable to find her voice. She decided to change the subject.

  “How rude of me, I haven’t introduced myself. I am Jane Cartwright, who might you be?”

  She held out her small, gloved hand, which he took in his.

  “Jacob Jones. You can thank my parents for their creativity.”

  He raised her hand to his lips and she felt her heart flutter. There was something about this man that was simply enchanting. She wondered why she had never seen him in these parts before, and asked him about it.

  “I am also traveling by my parents will,” he said in reply. “They have picked out a wealthy young bride for me, and I am to go out to California to marry her. Once the wedding is over, I will bring her back to my home in Georgia.”

  June didn’t know why, but at that moment she felt in her chest a tight wrench of jealousy. She had never before met this man, and she knew nothing about him, but she would have given anything in the world to be that woman he was heading to marry.

  “Do you love her?”

  She asked the question without thinking, and Jacob raised his eyebrows in surprise. Immediately, June realized she had overstepped her bounds, and apologized.

  “It’s quite all right, the question just took me by surprise is all. Marriage isn’t about love, June, at least not when you have the kind of money our families have. You see, we have to keep the money in the family, and keep the fortune going. To ensure this happens, you must marry someone who also has money.”

  Jacob explained it all so casually, June wondered if he ever gave it much thought beyond what his duty was.

  “I understand that, I am in the very same situation.”

  Again, Jacob looked at her in surprise. He looked over her outfit as well, making June question if the green velvet dress she was wearing made her look poor. Nevertheless, composure was the name of the game when it came to the world, as her mother always told her. So she maintained perfect composure.

  “May I ask you why you are the one going to him, and not the other way around?”

  June was struck by the forwardness of the question, but decided there was no harm in answering. After all, he did have a point, and it was a sensible question. Traditionally speaking, her groom to be should be the one coming out to fetch her, but yet here she was, making the journey all on her own.

  “He wanted to, but he was otherwise engaged. We are told his mother suffers from fits at his absence, and he can’t be away from her for more than a day at a time. As I was supposed to move to his home anyway, it only made more sense for me to go to him.”

  “I see.”

  Jacob spoke slowly, with the same tone in his voice that made June question the validity of the story herself. She was torn between wanting to defend herself, and wanting to tell Jacob how she really felt. She didn’t want to go out west to marry this man, it was entirely arranged for her by her parents. Certainly Jacob would understand that, he was in the same situation.

  The only difference is, he really doesn’t seem to care. Unless he just doesn’t know how to say it. I should ask him, but what would he think of me? Then again, who cares… it’s not like I am ever going to see him again anyway.

  “I know it’s silly, I don’t even want to go into this marriage to begin with.”

  June spoke in a very matter-of-fact manner, and though she didn’t look up at Jacob, she could feel him looking at her. There was a pause between them, then he softly agreed.

  “I must admit she isn’t the one I would have chosen for myself. But, I must keep everyone happy.”

  At that moment, a train came bustling to a stop in front of them, and Jacob rose.

  “That’s my train. I wish you all the happiness in the world, Miss Cartwright.”

  He tipped his hat to her, and she opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment, a gust of wind picked up, pulling her ticket out of her hand. She quickly rose and chased it down, and upon turning around again, Jacob Jones was gone.

  Chapter 2 – Train Track Thoughts

  The gentle sound of the tracks rushing beneath the train was enough to make June want to fall asleep. Even though the first part of her wait had seemed to take an eternity, it felt like a blur after Jacob had gone. She didn’t know how long they had talked on the platform, but it felt he had scarcely gone before her train arrived.

  June felt as though she were watching herself give her ticket to the conductor, and even now as the train rushed through the countryside she didn’t feel like she was even there. Her mind was on Jacob. On his beautiful blue eyes, and his thick, black beard.

  She thought of how she had felt in their brief interaction, and how the gentle kiss he had given her hand had sent chills running through her spine and made her heart pound. June wondered why she had never felt this way before, about anyone.

  It wasn’t that she didn’t like any of the men she courted, or that she needed to know a man for a long time before she saw a relationship with him, but nobody else made her feel like Jacob had. In their brief exchange, June felt a connection like nothing she had ever felt before.

  She didn’t know what it meant, and she didn’t know what to do about it.

  Of course it really doesn’t matter now. You are on a train going as quickly as it can, taking you further and further away from him. Soon you will be in the Dakotas, and you will meet the man you are going to marry.

  June pulled the picture of her groom-to-be out of her pocketbook, and studied it.

  “Toby Higgens. Mrs. Toby Higgens. Mrs. June Higgens, mistress of the estate.”

  June spoke out loud, trying out the sound of her husband’s name, and the name and title that were soon to be hers. She sighed as she traced the edge of Toby’s coat in the photograph. There was nothing warm about Toby.

  In the brief letters they had exchanged it had been more businesslike than it had been about their marriage. She didn’t feel as though she were going to marry a man that cared for her, but someone that cared for her money and needed her to supply that for him.

  Toby didn’t smile in the picture, and even though it was just a piece of paper, she felt a cold chill run through her spine as she looked back into his expressionless eyes. She tried to imagine herself in the photo next to him, perhaps with his hand on her shoulder.

  Part of her wondered if she would have that same look in her eyes. A cold, almost uncaring look. She wondered if she would have smiled at the photographer, or if she would have also held that expressionless face, as though having a picture taken of herself was so inconvenient she couldn’t manage to smile for the occasion.

  June leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes, wishing she had a photo of the man on the platform. If there was a way to capture that brilliant blue that gleamed through his eyes, she would never look at another photograph again. There was something about that man, something that was more caring and more charming than anyone else she had ever met.

  What did he say his last name was again? It was something common, I remember th
at, because he pointed out his parents had named him something common in addition to his common name. But what was it? Smith? Baker? Ugh!

  Names flooded through her mind, but nothing jumped out at her as the right one. She kicked herself for not paying closer attention to what he had said.

  Not that it would make any difference now. He is on his way to marry, and you are on your way to marry, it would be highly unnatural to correspond, especially since he and I have only just met.

  But he was like an angel sent right out of heaven. Oh why could I not be on my way to marry him? Or better yet, why didn’t he come to marry me?

  She looked once more at the picture in her hands, and sighed. She shook her head as her heart once again filled with jealousy over the girl that was to marry Jacob, but this time the jealousy was mixed with a resentment toward her parents. She wondered why they had never asked her who she wanted to marry.

  Of course she couldn’t have told them Jacob, but she certainly wouldn’t have chosen Mr. Higgens, either. She had never been attracted to him, even before she had that interaction with Jacob on the platform. In fact, since the day her mother had told her of the plan, she had been dreading it. She felt as though all of her hopes and dreams in life were torn up and tossed out into the wind, and she was left standing in the remains.

  Stop this nonsense right now! You know this is all just wishes and wonders. You are set to marry Higgens and he is set to marry that other girl he spoke of, and there is nothing you can do about it.

  The only way this is going to end up any different is if he were to burst through that door and sweep you off his feet to be his wife.

  June chuckled to herself at the thought, though she half wished it would happen to her. At last, she decided it was best to push all of the matter out of her mind, and try to get some rest. She took a deep breath in, and let it out slowly, letting all thoughts of the man she was to marry… and the man she wanted to marry… drift out of her mind.

  If your wishes were fishes your pond would be full.