“Oh.” I forced the words out, “Hello, Tom.”
“Is everything, okay?” He asked, clearly picking up on my sudden shock.
“Yes, everything’s fine.” I reassured him, “I figured… I just… I thought you were city folk is all.”
“Well, isn’t that a coincidence.” he chuckled as he pointed at my overalls, “We thought the same thing about you.”
Andrew intertwined his hands in mine and led me down the road to a green station wagon.
“Don’t worry about a thing.” He said, “You’re going to love it here.”
The first couple of days in Andrew’s house could be considered some of the most awkward days of my life. His family was so nice that they almost seemed false. They acted as make-shift maids wanting to carry out my every need. When I offered to help out around the barn, they were over-the-moon but refused my request, saying it would be absurd to make their ‘guest of honor’ do chores. They were really sweet but despite their greatest efforts, I felt so out of place in his home. To make it worse, at first, Andrew and I didn’t converse much. He was always busy working at the barn or he made excuses to go into town to see his friends. It was obvious he didn’t want me here as much as I didn’t want to be there. It occurred to me that maybe he hadn’t been the one to write the letters. Maybe his parents had done it just like mine had and put that ad in the newspaper. The thought should have brought about relief but it just made me angry. I had come all this way and that man was wasting my time.
The fourth night came around and I had already begun to consider leaving. Unfortunately, Andrew came to his senses around the same time. That night, he invited me out to dinner. I would’ve been slightly thrilled had he not brought me into a dusty, beat-up pub. God, this boy just kept on surprising me. I stuck close to him as we weaved our way through a cluster of tables. The joint was full of old drunks, most of which seemed to know Andrew on a personal level. Even as we took a seat at the bar, the owner came out to greet us with a huge smile on his face.
"Brother!" Andrew hollered at the man. He threw his arms around him, bringing him in for a quick hug, "How've you been?"
"Not bad, chief. What about you? Got another leading lady on your arm, I see." The man nodded in my direction.
"One can only hope." Andrew smiled at me, "Edward, this is Bethany. Bethany, this is Edward."
He took off his hat and gave me a short bow, "pleasure to meet your acquaintance, m'lady. I'll have you know, the company you're keeping isn't exactly innocent, either. You should see him Sunday nights after church. He’s one bloody mess, if you ask me."
"Hey!" Andrew jabbed him in the rib cage, "that was only one time. What are you trying to do? Ruin my chances with the girl?”
“Now come on, chief. You know I don’t mean no harm.” Edward replied with a toothy grin.
“Why, what happened on Sunday?” I asked.
Andrew’s smile widened when he realized I was actually interested, “Well, there was a lot city folk in here last week. I’d gotten myself into a bit of an argument with one of them.”
“A bit of an argument? Really.” Edward interrupted, stretching his arms out across the counter. “Is that what you call knocking a man out cold?”
“You did what?!” I gasped. Whipping around to face Andrew, I noticed he had a grim look on his face.
“He was a slave owner.” his voice lowered, “He got what was coming to him.”
“Now,” Edward slapped a hand on Andrew’s back, “before things get too serious, why don’t you get what you came here for? What can I get you?”
“Two sarsaparillas, please.” He replied sliding three dollar bills over the counter.
“It’s on the house, chief.” Edward threw the bills back at him and pulled out two bottles from behind the bar, “It’s the least I can do.” He snapped the caps on both of them and slid one over to each of us. I waited for him to tend to another customer before tapping Andrew’s shoulder.
“Chief? Really?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“There’s a story behind that.” He began to stare off into space.
“Okay.” I said, feeling a little annoyed.
“It’s not like that.” He shook his head, “Most of the men here served with me overseas; they’re veterans.”
“Were you their captain?” I pushed on.
“Yes, and I’d prefer to leave it at that if you don’t mind.” He took a swig from his bottle, “I’m sorry, it’s just… it was a painful experience for me.”
“It’s okay, I understand.” I lifted my drink, ready to take a sip but a sudden thought crossed my mind, “Wait, why did Edward say that you had another lady on your arm?”
“That was a long time ago.” He put the bottle back to his lips, draining half of it in one go.
“Oh…” I felt stupid. Here I was, still judging him. It wasn’t fair. Papa was right; I had to at least get to know him, “well, what was her name.”
“Beatrice; Triss for short. Things between us were almost perfect. Everything we had was so safe, and secure…” He trailed off. Andrew stared quietly at the bottle in his hand. There was obviously more to the story but I didn’t know whether he wanted to share it with me or not.
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, suddenly overwhelmed by the silence.
“Because it didn’t work out.” He mumbled, “In your letter, you said you wanted to know what changed my mind. Well, this is it.”
“Wait, so let me get this straight.” I felt a wave of heat rush through my body, “You’re telling me that the reason you want to be with me is because your other relationship didn’t work out.”
“No, that’s not it at all. Just listen, okay?” He wrapped his hand lightly around my arm, “Growing up, Triss was my best friend. She seemed like the best option I could choose. We stayed together for nearly three years but it wasn’t a real relationship. Both of us were together because we were afraid to be with someone different; afraid of getting hurt by someone from the outside. It was a good plan at first but it only took us so far. We became tired of one another.”
“So, that’s why you broke it off?” I encouraged him to keep going, feeling overly-conscience of his skin against mine.
“No, not entirely. In the beginning, we were both too sheltered to say anything.” He let his thumb lightly trace my bicep.
“Then why-” my voice got caught in my throat, “how did it happen?”
“I came home early one day and found my neighbor, Paul, sleeping in my bed.” He studied my face for a reaction.
“Damn that must have been hell.” My eyes widened in response, “how did you take it?”
“I was bitter, at first. I shut myself up in the barn loft for a few weeks.” He intertwined his fingers in mine.
“And after that?” I asked, losing the will to breathe. The feeling of his touch was oddly hypnotic.
“I shipped myself off to war.” He closed his eyes.
“Oh… I’m sorry.” It felt like the whole place came to a stand-still, “Look, you don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not up to it.”
He waved away my apology, “I’m glad I did though. It made me realize something; shit happens. What we decide to do after is what matters.”
It occurred to me that there was a lot of truth to what he was saying. There were so many bad things happening in the world that it was almost hard to be ignorant to them. So what do you do if you’re surrounded by evil? Do you give up or do you fight for something better? Of course, it’s always easier said than done. Sitting there, I started to see Andrew in a whole new light. Before I had been sent here, he was just the burden that I had to carry. Now, things were different. He was smart; he was brave; he was handsome; all the traits a woman would want in her future husband. I had finally given him a chance and he had done nothing but prove himself worthy. Maybe this mail-order bride thing wasn’t so bad after all.
“Anyways,” he continued, “that’s what brought me here.”
“What do you mean?” I stared blankly at him.
“I was a sheltered little farm-boy who thought settling down with my best friend would be the safest thing for me. I didn’t bother with my own feelings. What I really needed to do was push myself out of my comfort zone. Do something crazy and spontaneous. Take a chance for once in my miserable little life.” His eyes lit up with every word. I could tell he was truly passionate about what he was doing. There was no doubt in my mind that he was actually going to try to make us work.
“Aren’t you scared?” I asked.
“Of what?” he raised his eyebrows.
“You know,” I ran my thumb over his, “that it won’t work between us.”
“Honestly?” he looked me dead in the eye, “Not one bit.”
The next day was a lot like the last. Hell the next few weeks were pretty similar as well. Andrew convinced his family to finally let me do some work around the barn so he and I were practically together all day. Then, after everything was finished, he would take me back to the pub each night where we spill our guts to each other. Something about sitting in a beat-up old pub and sharing painful stories made life seem achingly beautiful. I told him about Ethan, Mama, and Papa and he returned the favor by discussing his family as well. Then we went on to talk about our childhoods and shared with each other the precious moments that we would never forget. We did something as simple as sit and talk yet it felt like we were embracing each other for the first time. It was a huge breakthrough for us. I could sit for hours just listening to him talk. The way he spoke was just so strong and confident that it was almost poetic. I also noticed that he could be annoyingly stubborn and don’t get me started about his ego. Andrew had so many flaws but for some reason, in my eyes he was perfect.
Before I knew it, it was the night before Christmas. I went out to the barn like I always did but something was different this time. I went to work with my usual chores; I stalked the troughs with food, sheared the wool around the sheep’s eyes, and sat down to milk the cows. Finally, I had gotten back to my old routine. It was oddly satisfying. I was, on the other hand, nowhere near calm; my head brought forth a tornado of alarming thoughts. Part of me believed that I could stay here forever, content with my life with Andrew. The other half of me was afraid of change; I was afraid of walking into a whole new world with a man I was just getting to know. Why did I have to be thrown into this situation? Why did Mama have to put that stupid ad in the paper? Why did he have to be so goddamn attractive? I will still be contemplating my emotions when Andre walked into the barn carrying a bucket of hay.
“Hey, I’m going to go check on the horses.” He placed it down in front of him, “Dad came down with the flu this morning so I don’t think he got a chance.”
“Horses?” I gasped in surprise, “You have horses here!?”
“Of course! What kind of farmer doesn’t have horses?” He snorted.
“Well, you see, in France we focus mainly on the cattle.” I explained, “The horses are kept in stables, separate from the other animals, and they’re usually owned by specialists or…”
“Cowboys.” He smiled, tipping his hat at me.
“Cowboys.” I grinned in reply.
“So, I’m guessing you’ve never dealt with a one up front and close before.” His eyes narrowed at me.
“No,” I shook my head, “never.”
“Well, my dear,” he held his hand out towards me, “I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
I placed my hand in his and he interlocked his fingers in mine. Andrew had me follow him down a long twisty path leading from the barn to the stable. It was a tall wooden structure which looked as if it was barely standing. He told me about how he, his father, and Tom had spent entire summer building it themselves. They went into the woods to chop the planks of wood and stuck them together with tools they had bought at the local hardware store. Then, they took an extra month to paint it a milky white.
“It makes it look a lot classier.” I told him.
“Mom said the same thing.” He said, holding the gate open for me. The moment I stepped inside, I came face to face with rows and rows of horses.
“Are these all yours?!” My mouth was agape.
“Ha! I wish!” He laughed, “The first three are ours. The rest belong to city folk who have nowhere to keep them.”
“They’re gorgeous.” I exclaimed.
“He’s my favorite.” Andrew pointed to the third stall, “His name’s Black Beauty, like the horse in the books.”
I slowly walked over to the long-legged stallion, slightly terrified that I might spook him. He had jet black skin with a silky mane to match. His name was an amazing fit; he was exactly like the horse in the book. He had light grey eyes that held such an intense gaze that he almost appeared human. I was blown away. Andrew, noticing my amazement, took my hand and brought it over the stallion’s face. He gladly nuzzled his nose against my skin. It created a sensation similar to pins and needle that spread throughout my entire body. He was, without a doubt, the most beautiful creature that I had ever seen.
Andrew and I finished filling their troughs and went off to do our usual chores. I was really looking forward to heading to the pub with him again but once we returned to the house, his Mom was completely against the idea. Of course, I had forgotten it was Christmas Eve. She had us help her prepare food for the next day; apparently Andrew’s entire extended family was coming over to celebrate. Part of me couldn’t help but to think that it had something to do with the fact that I was there.
Later that night, while I was preparing for bed, there was a sudden tap at my bedroom window. When I went too look outside, Andrew was getting prepared to throw another pebble at the glass. I knocked hard to show him I was there. He squinted into the darkness but eventually let out a smile when he saw my face. He then mouthed out the words, “Open the window.”
“Andrew?” I pushed on the glass, “What are you doing outside?”
“It doesn’t matter, just get dressed and meet me at the stables.” He yelled.
“But it’s the middle of the night.” I furrowed my brow.
“Don’t worry about it.” He waved my answer away, “Just hurry”
I didn’t bother questioning him. It sounds corny but I felt like I would follow him anywhere. So I threw a pair of overalls on top of my pajamas, pulled on a clean pair of boots, and made my way over to the stable where Andrew was waiting for me.
“What are we doing.” I asked him.
“Shh,” he placed a finger over my lips, “just follow me.”
When we walked into the stable, Andrew made a bee-line for Black Beauty.
“Are we doing what I think we’re doing?” A cold shiver ran down my spine.
“It depends what you think we’re doing.” He replies while strapping a saddle onto the stallion’s back.
“Andrew Briar Williams,” I say with a tinge of bitterness, “I’m not getting on that horse.”
“I don’t remember giving you a choice.” A devilish grin slid across his face.
Before I could protest, Andrew threw his arms around my waist and hoisted me up onto Black Beauty. He then pulled himself up in front of me.
“A-Andrew,” My voice began to quiver, “I’ve never ridden a horse before.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” He reassured me, “Just hold on tight.”
Just as the horse kicked itself up onto its hind legs, I wrapped my arms tightly around Andrew’s waist. Black Beauty let out a loud whinny and took off into the night.
We were at the very edge of the forest behind his house when Andrew brought the horse to a stop. He hopped off to one side and reached back over to pull me down as well. He then took me by the hand and led me to where the trees ended. It turned out that the forest overlooked a large cliff. I clung to his side, suddenly aware of how steep the drop would be.
“What are we doing here?” I asked nervously.
“Common,” He teased, �
�you really think I’d do something as crazy as make you jump?”
“We’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks,” I pointed out, “Remember?”
He sat on a nearby log and took in a deep breath, “That’s a long time if you ask me.”
“I’m cold,” I whined as I hopped from foot to foot, “Andrew, seriously, what are we doing up here?”
“You look like you need to take a pee.” He burst out laughing.
I immediately stood ram-rod straight. My cheeks turned a bright red as I felt the embarrassment sink in. He noticed my sudden change in emotion and tried his hardest to stop; it was useless. Even I started giggling at one point. Andrew tapped the log beside him and I gladly took a seat.
“I’m sorry.” He grinned.
“You’re an ass.” I smiled.
Andrew ran his fingers through my hair and gently placed his hand on my cheek, “Oh honey, please don’t tell that you just noticed that.”
“God, you’ll drive me nuts.” I swatted his hand away.
Everything suddenly became silent. He turned to look at me.
“Bethany,” Andrew whispered, “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“What is it?” I felt my heart get caught in my throat.
“Earlier, I-” He paused, then shook his head as if reassuring himself, “I didn’t go off to war to get away.”
“Oh but then why-” he cut me off mid-sentence.
“I didn’t want to talk about it before but if this is going to work between us, I need to be honest. Okay, so here it goes.” He let out a deep breath, “After I found out about Triss, remember I told you I locked myself up in that barn?”
I nodded, my heart beating faster than a speeding bullet.
“Well… you see… I was hurt. Everything just hurt, really bad. My life up until then seemed worthless all of a sudden. It was like my soul purpose was to get up every morning and feed the cattle; it was the only thing I was good for. That’s when I decided…. Well I decided that I wanted… I wanted to die, okay?”
[2016] Alone and Pregnant Page 54
