The Bronc Rider's Baby

by Judy Duarte

  Henry had handled a lot of the legwork for Ramon, traveling from one city to the next, setting things up for the rodeo long before opening day. And that meant Nate would be on the road and living out of a suitcase more often than not.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d be interested,” Drew said. “What with your new family situation and all.”

  Nate certainly should give it a lot of thought, but he couldn’t help jumping on the position before someone else caught wind of the opening and snatched it. “I’m definitely interested. And like I said, I have a dependable nanny.”

  “Great,” Ramon said.

  Was it, though? What about Jessie? He’d be on the road a lot. Of course, that’s why he was hiring Barbara.

  But what about Anna? Second thoughts bombarded him, throwing him into a momentary state of indecision.

  Did he owe Anna anything? Better yet, did he want to feel indebted to her?

  Being connected to the rodeo would give him a new identity, something he sorely needed. The traveling might get tough after a while, but that was okay. Nate wasn’t the kind of guy who’d be happy in a nine-to-five job.

  Again, he thought of Anna, of coming home to her each night, of sharing dinner, of going to bed together and making love as though there were no ghosts of the past and no thoughts of tomorrow.

  No, that kind of life wasn’t Nate’s reality. He was only having weird family feelings because of the domestic routine he and Anna had fallen into lately. That’s all it was.

  Nate wasn’t family material. Damn, look at the father he had. No, he’d been right all along. Jessie would be better off in the daily care of a good, dependable nanny.

  And Anna would be happier without Nate in her life. She needed a professional man, like a doctor or lawyer. Not a damaged cowboy.

  Besides, what did the two of them have in common, other than great chemistry in bed? The baby was the only thing holding him and Anna together.

  Taking the job Ramon just offered him was for the best. When he told Anna what he was going to do, she’d realize that she couldn’t expect more from him than he could give her, and she’d move out and get on with her own life.

  And that would ensure that Nate wouldn’t disappoint her in the long run.

  * * *

  Anna stayed up half the night, tossing and turning—and waiting for Nate to get home.

  She had no idea when he finally arrived, but by the time Jessie woke up wet and hungry, Anna carried her downstairs for a bottle. Once she reached the living room, she glanced out the window and spotted his pickup in the driveway.

  As if thinking Anna was dawdling, Jessie cried out.

  “It’s coming, sweetie.” Anna shushed the baby as she headed to the kitchen then fixed the bottle.

  By the time she sat down in the recliner and Jessie was nursing, Nate came downstairs. His chest was bare, and he wore only a pair of jeans, the top button undone.

  “Did she give you any problems while I was gone?” he asked.

  “Not a bit.” On the other hand, she’d found her thoughts about Nate to be far more problematic. “How’d your meeting go?”

  “Good.” He ran his hand through his sleep-tousled hair, mussing it further. Oddly enough, it only made him more appealing. “In fact, it was great.”

  “I’m glad to hear it.”

  Would he go into detail? Would she have to prod him? Or, better yet, was her curiosity out of place? He’d left so soon after making love that they’d never had a chance to talk about the usual things, like, Where do we go from here?

  After he’d left, she’d been tempted to return to his bedroom, where she could relish his scent and bask in the sweet memory of what they’d just done. But because he’d taken off so quickly, she’d felt compelled to remain in her room.

  Now, as she studied him, she doubted that she’d ever seen a sexier man. He’d obviously just rolled out of bed.

  Once she was able to put the baby back in her crib, she’d like to join Nate in his room, in his bed.

  “I got a job offer,” Nate said. “A good one. And I’m going to take it.”

  He didn’t look particularly thrilled, but then that might be due to the late hour, to the fact that he’d been awakened from a sound sleep.

  “What would you be doing?” she asked.

  “Working for Esteban Enterprises. It’s an outfit that organizes and promotes rodeos.”

  “Congratulations.” She assumed it was a local company. “Where are they based?”

  “In Dallas.”

  She stiffened. “Will that require a move?”

  “No, but it will mean I’ll have to travel.”

  Their relationship was just getting off the ground, and while they’d never discussed what that meant...

  Her thoughts stalled. He’d said he could only give her now, and not a future. But she hadn’t thought he’d meant he didn’t have any feelings for her.

  Still, she found herself wanting to object and to ask, What about us? But she feared that she didn’t have that right. Not yet.

  Instead, she glanced down at the baby in her arms then back at Nate. “What about Jessie?”

  “Barbara will be here to take care of her when I’m gone.”

  Anna would be around, too. But he hadn’t mentioned her, hadn’t suggested that she...

  Actually, he hadn’t said anything about the turn their relationship had taken.

  But had it changed?

  Just so there aren’t any misunderstandings, he’d said prior to their lovemaking, I can’t give you all the things you need and deserve, but I can give you right now.

  She blinked back the tears filling her eyes.

  “It sounds like a good opportunity for you,” she said, not entirely convinced that it was.

  “I agree. It’s going to give me a chance to work with the rodeo again, even if I can’t compete anymore.”

  He was more than a ranch hand. How could she fault him for wanting to do what he did best? Or rather, for wanting to work at a job he would enjoy, around people he knew and admired.

  Besides, maybe his new position would only require him to leave town occasionally. “What will you do for Esteban Enterprises? How often will you need to travel?”

  “I’ll do all the preliminary work for the rodeos. So I’ll have to spend a week or so prior to each opening day lining things up and working with the various town and city officials.”

  She didn’t fault him for wanting that position, but how could he just pack up and leave baby Jessie with a nanny? How could he not want to parent the little girl who didn’t have anyone else in the world?

  And how could the man she’d come to think of as her Mr. Right just up and leave her, too?

  Memories of her father, of his final walk out the door without looking back, slammed into her. And while it should have stirred up her old pain, it set off a burst of anger, too.

  “But what about Jessie?” Anna asked once more.

  “She’ll be in good hands. If I wasn’t convinced of that, I wouldn’t take the job.”

  “But she’s your daughter.”

  “Actually...” He paused a moment. “I’m not so sure about that.”

  His words nearly knocked the wind out of her. Did he honestly believe Jessie wasn’t his? From what she’d heard, he’d actually hired an attorney and sought custody.

  If Anna hadn’t been holding the baby, she might have jumped to her feet and challenged him.

  Her shocked expression must have given her away because he said, “That’s not...true. Forget I said that.”

  How could she possibly do that? Now that it had come to light, she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t heard it.

  “But you have custody,” she said.

  “Yes, I do.”

/>   Why would a man claim paternity if he didn’t have good reason to believe a child was actually his?

  “Are you suggesting that you might not have fathered her?”

  He paled as if he wished he’d chosen his words more carefully. Then he shrugged. “Her options were limited, and I thought having me as her father would be better than nothing.”

  Anna’s heart clenched. “How can you say that or imply you haven’t bonded with her? I’ve seen you hold her, feed her... You love her.”

  “She’s a sweet baby. And I care for her. It’s just that...” He slowly shook his head. “She might be my biological daughter, but...she might not be.”

  “Have you had a DNA test?” she asked.

  Nate shook his head. “There’s no need for that. I made a commitment, and I intend to keep it. And Barbara will be able to help me. So don’t worry about Jessie. She’ll be fine.”

  At first, Anna’s only concern had been about that baby, but that was no longer true. She’d gotten emotionally involved, not just with Jessie, but with Nate. And now he was threatening to leave, without giving a single thought to what they might have had.

  After all the time and effort she put into him, into...them, he was going to dash her hopes and dreams.

  “We made love,” she said. “Didn’t that mean anything to you?”

  “Yes, it meant a lot. But I’ll never be able to give you the things you need, the things you deserve.”

  Her father had said something similar before he moved on with his life. But when he’d left, his words to her mother had been laced with anger and resentment. On the other hand, Nate’s had been soft and sure. Still, they cut Anna just as deeply, ripping a jagged tear in her heart.

  It crushed her to think of what might have been, if Nate had been the man she’d once thought he was, and her ego took a hard blow. She wanted to lash out, to strike out and hurt him, just as he’d hurt her.

  “I have needs, all right, but you have no idea what they are. And I’d never expect you to fulfill them.” Anna set the bottle on the lamp table and slowly got to her feet so she wouldn’t wake the sleeping baby. “But Jessie has needs, too. And you made a commitment to see to every last one of them when you signed those custody papers.”

  “I’m committed to her—at least, the best way I know how to be.”

  Who was this man? Just hours ago, Anna had hoped—no, she’d just assumed—that he would step up to be the husband and daddy she’d always dreamed of having in her life. Instead, Nate had fallen into the same irresponsible behavior as her father had when he packed his bags and left her and her mother for good.

  Anna took one last glance at Jessie then handed the precious bundle to Nate. “Here, you take her. I’m going to pack my stuff and leave.”

  “It’s three in the morning,” he said, taking his daughter. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “Back to the Night Owl Motel.”

  Nate clicked his tongue. “You can’t go there at this hour.”

  “Sure I can. And if they don’t have a room available for me, I’ll sleep in my car.”

  “That’s not a wise idea.”

  She stiffened, her hackles rising with each tick of the clock on the mantel. “Let’s not talk about making well-thought-out decisions, shall we?”

  What appeared to be concern was splashed across Nate’s face. “If you’re going to insist on leaving, would you please wait until daylight?”

  He had a point, but she was too angry to admit it. Still, she couldn’t very well drive off in a huff. What if the No Vacancy sign was lit? What would she do then? Where would she go?

  She’d better give them a call first because she really wasn’t about to sleep in her car at a truck stop.

  The baby, who was the reason Anna was here in the first place, squirmed in Nate’s arms as if she’d heard the heated discussion and was uneasy about her future. As she well should be.

  Anna might want to walk out on Nate and never speak to him again, but she wouldn’t abandon Jessie. That child needed a loving parent. And if Nate wasn’t going to do right by her, then Anna would.

  For the second time since she’d had to call in Protective Services to remove Danny Walker from his home, she felt like a failure. How had she missed seeing the signs with Nate?

  God, maybe she’d made the wrong career choice.

  Either way, she wasn’t about to turn her back on Jessie, whom she’d come to love. This was personal now.

  Could Anna adopt her as a single mother?

  First thing in the morning, she’d seek out her options. But for now, she was going to leave the room before she said or did anything she might regret.

  Like break down and cry in front of the man who’d stomped on her heart and dashed her fragile dream of finally having a real family of her own.

  * * *

  Last night, after putting Jessie back in her crib, Nate hadn’t slept a wink. Instead, he’d listened to the sound of the breeze on the windows and the house creaking in complaint.

  He hated the idea of being at odds with Anna, but it was better to have it happen now than after they got involved any deeper. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

  Finally, just before sunrise, he rolled out of bed and headed to the kitchen for some strong morning java, robust and laden with caffeine.

  When he reached Anna’s bedroom, the door was wide open, the bed made. Something deep in his chest clenched, and a blast of heavy emotion threatened to consume him.

  Had she left anyway? For good?

  He ought to be happy that he’d freed himself of a relationship that would only lead to his failure and to her heartbreak. But he wasn’t.

  If he’d done the right thing, then why did his chest ache as if she’d broken something inside?

  He blew out a sigh then went downstairs. While he waited for the coffee to brew, he placed a couple of phone calls. The first was to Sam, letting him know he’d be late to work.

  Sam told him not to worry about it, and Nate let it go at that. He would have to tell Sam that he’d give him two weeks as an acting foreman. After that, Sam would have to find someone else or cut his honeymoon short. But that was a discussion Nate wanted to have in person.

  Next he placed the call to Barbara Newcomb, only to realize he’d awoken the poor woman from a sound sleep.

  “I’m sorry, Barbara. I didn’t realize it was so early.”

  “No problem. I had a late night chatting with a friend from high school. What can I do for you?”

  “I called to offer you the nanny position, if you’d like it.”

  “That’s wonderful news. When would you like me to start?”

  Nate glanced at the clock on the microwave, realizing what he was going to suggest might be impossible. “As soon as you can get here.” Then he managed a little chuckle, letting her know that he wouldn’t expect that quick of a response.

  “I’m afraid I can’t start today. I have plans for the rest of the week. My friend and I are going to drive down to Galveston and spend a few days at a B and B. Would it be all right if I started on Monday morning? I could arrive the night before.”

  If that was the only option. He’d also have to ask Joy and the nurses to help him out until then. “That’ll be fine, Barbara. I’ll see you Sunday evening.”

  After downing a cup of coffee, Nate went upstairs to the nursery and packed the diaper bag. Then he carefully removed Jessie from the crib without waking her, placed her in the car seat and left the house.

  He used to dread the forty-minute drive to the ranch, but today he was looking forward to putting some distance between him and the two-story house that had almost begun to feel like a real home.

  Once he arrived at the ranch, and before he shut off the ignition, he spotted Sam and Joy s
tanding on the wraparound porch. The attractive older woman had just handed the foreman a white mug, and they were both smiling, their love and happiness hard to ignore.

  Grandpa Clint and Audrey had cared for each other and had what appeared to be a good marriage, but Nate hadn’t ever seen them gaze at each other the way Joy and Sam did. Those two had something special.

  Thoughts of Anna came to mind. What would their relationship have become, if he hadn’t ended it before it had a chance to develop?

  He shook his head, letting the image drift away, refusing to dwell on what wasn’t meant to be, and got out of the pickup. Then he grabbed the diaper bag and removed the carrier from the backseat. He made his way to the porch just as Jessie began to squint her eyes and squirm.

  “I hope you don’t mind,” Nate told Sam and Joy. “I’m going to need a sitter today and for the rest of the week. But don’t worry. I’ve hired a nanny who’ll start on Monday.”

  “Are you kidding?” Joy beamed. “We’ve missed that sweet baby. Take her inside. I’ll be there shortly. I just need to work out a couple of wedding details.”

  Nate had no more than turned to the door when Joy added, “Pour yourself a cup of coffee. I just made a fresh pot. And there’s still some ham and scrambled eggs on the stove.”

  “Thanks.” Nate had hardly made it through the living room when he was met by Alicia, one of the RNs who worked at the ranch.

  “Well, look who’s here!” Alicia broke into a warm smile. “We were afraid you wouldn’t bring Jessie back to see us.”

  “I hope you don’t mind watching her for the next couple of days.”

  “Are you kidding? We’d love to.”

  When Jessie began to fuss, Alicia added, “Give her to me. I’ll feed her.”

  “Thanks. I’d appreciate that.” Nate crossed the room and entered the kitchen, where one of his favorite old cowboys sat at the table, enjoying a cup of coffee.

  “Look who decided to have breakfast with us again,” Rex Mayberry said. “I thought you’d fallen head over heels for that pretty social worker and run off to marry her.”

  “No chance of that.” Nate wasn’t sure what he’d been feeling for Anna, but marriage had always been out of the question.