A Billion Reasons Why

by Kristin Billerbeck

  “That’s the thing. I don’t really have any.”

  Mam stroked the back of her head. “When the storms of life push against you, our real temperaments come out to dance. We’re all entitled to a tantrum now and then, Katie. No one is perfect, but the man who would take your darkest secret and use it against you for power? It’s the ultimate betrayal. You told him the truth about your past with Luc, and he used it to make you feel undeserving of real love. That’s criminal.”

  “I had to. I couldn’t marry him and not tell him that.”

  “No one who truly understands grace will tell a person their sin is beyond it.” Mam lifted Dex’s coffee cup and wiped away any trace of him.

  Chapter 19

  QUE SERA, SERA

  “Katie, you’ll never guess who I found! Katie!” Eileen shouted through the house.

  Katie wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. Her face felt pudgy and swollen from crying, and judging by the hair in her face, there was nothing left of her updo. As she walked into the living room, Jem DeForges stood in the entryway, his imposing frame overwhelming the small room. Pokey jumped at Katie’s feet.

  “Katie!” Jem extended his arms to her and pulled her into a tight Southern hug—the kind she’d received more of in the last few days than in her entire eight years in California.

  Jem’s clothes looked as though he lived an island life— khaki pants, a camp shirt finished off to look professional, with a cotton blazer. He was a walking Jimmy Buffet song.

  She pulled away and patted at her hair. “Jem, I look terrible. Why is it gorgeous men never walk into my life when I look my best? You’re here looking like Ernest Hemingway in the middle of the day, and I’m a wreck.”

  “Katie-bug, I consider it a favor. I can’t handle you all dressed to the nines. It’s too much for my fragile heart.”

  She playfully hit him. “I forgot how charming you could be.”

  “Jem has something for you, Katie,” Eileen said from over Jem’s shoulder. “I was shopping at his Canal Street store—”

  “I thought you went to Magazine Street.”

  “I got lost,” Eileen said with narrowed eyes. “Jem asked if I saw you anymore because he had something for you.”

  “Didn’t you know I was here for the wedding?” she asked Jem.

  “I did, but I didn’t want to give you this in front of everyone. I’ve been saving these for years, and I didn’t want the family flapping their gums about it.”

  Her interest piqued, Katie said, “I’ve forgotten my manners. Come in and have a seat. Can I get you some coffee? Tea?” All she had to add was “me” to her offer, and she’d be as cheesy as Luc’s air hostess.

  Jem, the oldest brother in the DeForges trio, didn’t seem like a jeweler. He wore no jewelry for one thing, and he possessed no salesmanlike qualities. The jewelry shop had been the last business, besides the real estate holdings, left in the family’s economy, and like a dutiful son, Jem had taken it over when his father retired. Where once the DeForges boys had seemed like one entity, surviving their mother separated them into three different worlds. Ryan took on the typical youngest brother role, playing the role of Momma’s boy and not entering the competition between his older brothers. Luc survived by besting his mother’s expectations and then escaping Louisiana altogether. Jem, Katie thought, had survived by sheer force of will and determination.

  He stretched out his long legs on the settee and reached into his jacket pocket.

  “So what is it with you and your brothers wearing suit coats in the middle of a New Orleans summer?”

  “It’s what we do here.” He snapped his lapels.

  “The Deforges are Renaissance men in the truest sense of the word.”

  Jem held up a black velvet jewelry box. “These came into the shop a few years ago. Believe it or not, I saw them and thought only of you.” He placed the box on the settee, and she sat next to it.

  “For me?” she asked stupidly. Pokey tried to jump between them, but his small legs wouldn’t reach. Katie bent down and pulled the dog onto the sofa with one hand. “Now we have an official chaperone. Just like the old days when this settee was made.”

  He laughed. “And this one bites, so I will keep my hands to myself.”

  “Just open the box. I’m dying here!” Eileen said. “I had to wait through the whole car ride.”

  Katie lifted the lid. Two green gems in the shape of cat eyes met her.

  “They’re earrings,” Jem said. “When I saw them I thought, Where have I seen that color? I tried to place it but couldn’t. So I put them aside. And then it dawned on me. Katie’s eyes. They look exactly like Katie-bug’s eyes. I always planned to send them to you, but good intentions only go so far. I didn’t have your address, didn’t want to ask my brother for it. You know the drill.”

  “They’re beautiful, Jem. But I can’t keep them.”

  “Why on earth not? You think I let them gather dust all those years to have you hand them back to me in a split second?”

  “Jem, you just don’t give earrings to someone you haven’t seen in eight years.”

  “Is that how long it’s been?” He shook his head. “It feels like yesterday you left. You’re not someone who just left town, Katie. I associate you with most of the good times my family had.”

  “Surely they started before college,” she said.

  “Coming-of-age good times, then, if you will.”

  “They look like my ring. Well, the ring I hope to have again at some point.”

  “Green. They’re fair emeralds. Not worth as much on the open market, but they’re priceless when you put that color on a pair of eyes.”

  “They’re emeralds too?” she asked.

  “Yes, but you know, the color of an emerald is what determines its value. Even with inclusions, a darker emerald with brilliant color will be worth more.”

  “Stop,” Eileen protested. “You sound like Dexter!”

  “Dexter?” Jem asked.

  “My ex-almost-fiancé.”

  He thought about that for a second. “So you’re not engaged?”

  “Not engaged. Your brother apparently has my engagement ring, and I don’t think he was keen on giving it to my ex-almost-fiancé.”

  “Why would he be? Luc’s going to marry you.”

  She chose to ignore his comment. “So you’re telling me this emerald that I love, which matches my eyes, isn’t valuable?”

  “I didn’t mean it that way. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I think the fact that these emeralds remind me of your beautiful eyes is enough reason to make them valuable. Valuable enough for me to hold on to them all these years.”

  “Wasn’t that thoughtful, Katie?” Eileen asked. “Jem always was so thoughtful.”

  Pokey wandered into her lap, and she held the earring box in one hand and petted the dog with the other. “Yes, he was. He is.” She looked at Jem. “I didn’t mean to talk about you in the past tense.”

  “I suppose I am in the past tense for you. Tell me about this wonderful life you lead in California. I hear you’re a full-fledged teacher lady now.”

  “Well,” she said, seeing Eileen jitter out of the corner of her eye. “Eileen, would you sit down, you’re making me nervous. Even Pokey is worn out. Look at him!”

  The dog looked upward with mournful eyes that all but shouted, Help me.

  Eileen sank onto a nearby chair, her hands placed gently on her knees, her legs poised together at a perfect sixty-degree angle. “Go ahead.”

  Katie looked at Jem. “I’m teaching. I have a classroom full of special needs kids, and I specialize in autism spectrum disorders. Most of my kids are fully autistic, with other added diagnoses and physical handicaps. I also do tutoring on the side, and I teach other schools how to handle their students with concrete concepts and pragmatic language.”

  She could tell she’d lost him. “Higher-functioning Asperger’s kids, they get anything concrete, like math—but throw
in the concept of money and it’s too abstract, so I teach teachers how to get them to understand it. It saves a lot of frustration on both sides, student and teacher.”

  “Now who sounds like Dexter!” Eileen rolled her eyes. “Jem brought you earrings, Katie!”

  Katie grinned. “I think I’m boring my roommate.”

  “You’re not boring me,” Jem said. “I think it’s the perfect job for you. I’m just not sure how you got there from singing torch songs in a barrelhouse.”

  “I only did that to earn my teaching credential. I was never very good.”

  “I beg to differ,” Jem said. “You always held the room captivated. You certainly captivated the DeForges brothers, anyway. I always thought one of us would marry you.”

  “Which one?” Eileen asked.

  Jem laughed. “I thought it would be Luc. How long did you two date?”

  “Too long,” Eileen said. “I never thought Luc was right for her. He was all into money and stuff, and Katie never cared about any of that.”

  “No,” Jem said. “She didn’t. You’re right, but Katie and Luc . . . there’s something special in the two of them. I can’t imagine either one of them with anyone else.”

  “I can,” Eileen said. “Besides, she has a theory that money gets in the way of relationships. Don’t you, Katie? That’s why she’s determined to stay poor by teaching.”

  “I’m not opposed to money, Eileen. Just to the love of it.”

  “Right. Totally,” Eileen said. “Like, I love my mansions all over the world, and my private plane? That kind of love.”

  “In my brother’s defense, money was his escape. The more he made, the less he had to listen to my mother’s fears he’d run out of it. She and Luc never did see eye to eye. And some of the things money can buy are pretty nice,” Jem said. “I know I’d like to have that private jet of Luc’s. And a nice frock from Ginger Rogers’ closet wasn’t so bad, huh?”

  Katie felt guilty. Had she dissed Luc?

  “Well.” Jem slapped his legs and stood. “I should get going.” He bent over and kissed her on the cheek. “Katie, it was lovely to see you again. You look as beautiful as ever. I’ll see you Friday night at the rehearsal dinner.”

  “Do you have a date?” Eileen asked him. “I mean, are you seeing someone special now?”

  It didn’t sound remotely natural, but coming from Eileen’s cute self, it didn’t have to.

  “As a matter of fact, Eileen Ripley, I do not have a date for the rehearsal dinner.” He walked across the room and took her by the hand. “But I would be honored if you would attend with me. What do you say? Are you busy Friday night?”

  “Um, no, I don’t think so,” she stammered.

  “And maybe, if you have fun Friday night, you’ll have mercy on me and go to the wedding with me Saturday.”

  Eileen gasped. “I—me?”

  “Are you busy? It’s only two nights away, and I understand a pretty girl like you doesn’t sit home too often.”

  Katie grinned. If he only knew how often she and Eileen had discussed the benefits of Netflix on dateless weekend nights.

  “She’s not busy,” she answered for her friend.

  “But—”

  “We’ll see you then,” Katie said, walking Jem to the door.

  “I’ll pick you up at six. Dress nice. My mother will be there, and you’ll want to escape the radar. Oh, and, Katie, I don’t know if you’ve seen it yet, but my mother had a story planted in the paper that Luc was engaged. He’s not, but you can expect a few uncomfortable questions on Friday night.”

  “This so-called fiancée is blond, and everyone will know I’m nothing more than a stand-in,” Katie finished for him. She stretched her arms across the room. “Luc DeForges Brings Rejected Suitor to Wedding!”

  Eileen, having changed into lavender yoga shorts and a fuchsia tank top, walked to the wall fountain on the side of the stairwell and flipped the switch. The soothing sounds of trickling water took their effect, and both women sank to the floor with their backs against the settee. Pokey snuggled between them.

  “This is how life should be. Uncomplicated, slow-moving, filled with good food and good friends.” Eileen laid her head back on the settee. “Men complicate life. We should get us a dog.”

  “We have us a dog.”

  “Let’s take him back with us!”

  “I thought he was on his last legs.” Katie looked down at the wide-eyed mutt, who looked no worse for the wear than any of them.

  “Momma said he’d been fighting pneumonia, and the vet said his lungs were filled with fluid, but he seems fine now. He wasn’t supposed to live this long from the start, but you’re a strong one, aren’t you, Pokey baby? How’s Momma’s baby?” Eileen swung the dog in the air and kissed his snout.

  Katie rested her head on Pokey’s back. “He sounds fine to me.”

  “So . . . Dexter?” Eileen asked her. “You seem fine.”

  “I guess that’s the benefit of a practical engagement. The breakup is practical too.”

  “For that I can be thankful. Because I sure can’t take another real breakup. Speaking of which, where is Luc?”

  “He had to go home on business. He’ll be back by the rehearsal dinner.”

  “If there’s one thing you can count on with Luc, it’s that something will come up. That’s why I think Jem is the man for you.”

  “Too bad he thinks otherwise.” Katie looked at the doorway. “Or are you still under the impression this date is about getting close to me?”

  “I don’t understand it. Jem was always crazy about you. He saved those earrings all those years? I thought for sure he was coming here to put the moves on you.”

  “Men don’t go after women their brother has dated. It’s too weird. But their best friend . . . now there is a match made in heaven.”

  Pokey barked in agreement.

  Chapter 20

  I GOT RHYTHM

  Luc rang the bell at precisely 6:45 p.m. Katie noticed because it was the first time she remembered his being on time for anything. Before she opened the door, she gave Mam a stern look. “Remember, nothing to him about Dexter.”

  Mam pretended to lock her lips.

  Katie opened the door and caught her breath. Luc wore a three-piece gray suit with a gray flannel fedora. “You look like Cary Grant.”

  “I feel like Cary Grant. You look more beautiful than I’ve ever seen you, Katie.” He handed her a single red rose, then lifted her hands. “Turn around.”

  It had been a long time since a man complimented her and it felt authentic. For all his niceties, she realized, Dexter had done a number on her self-esteem. Maybe even more than getting dumped publicly in New Orleans’ society.

  Luc whistled. “It’s not polite to show up the bride. She’ll be nervous enough, marrying my brother tomorrow.”

  Katie wore a vintage-inspired green silk taffeta cocktail dress with a sweetheart neckline, gathered bodice, and cinched waistline, with a graduated veil of green crinoline over the backside, like a fitted bustle. She’d paired her new earrings with a green rhinestone necklace of Mam’s. No one would ever be the wiser, with Luc on her arm. They’d think she could afford whatever baubles Jem carried in his shop.

  “Stand there for a picture,” Mam directed them.

  Now that Mam knew where the ring had been all this time, and why Luc possessed it, her countenance had changed.

  Luc was apparently restored to her good graces. Katie only hoped Luc proved worthy of Mam’s trust, now that Dexter had bailed from the race.

  “We’re off. I’ll have her home by midnight,” Luc called out to Mam. “Don’t want her shoes to turn into a pumpkin or— what is it?” His gaze fell on her feet, and he whistled again. “Those are hot. Not the ones you’re getting married in.”

  “No, these are my swing shoes.”

  They were nude in color, so they made her legs go on forever, with a small champagne-colored ruffle around the back of the heel and a Mary Jane
strap so they didn’t fly off when she danced.

  “I thought Dexter didn’t dance.”

  “He doesn’t,” she said. She tapped her way down the steps and crossed the brick path to Luc’s waiting limousine. Leon was out of his band uniform and in his driving suit. “What will you wear tomorrow?” she asked him.

  “Whatever Mr. DeForges tells me to. You look fine tonight, Miss Katie. Mighty fine.”

  “I’ll take it from here,” Luc said, grabbing the doorframe. He climbed in beside her and slammed the door shut. Then he pressed the button, and Leon’s compartment magically disappeared.

  “That was rude.”

  “Boundaries, Katie. You don’t check out your boss’s date.”

  “Are you jealous?” she asked, feeling uncharacteristically flirtatious. She leaned toward him, and he refused to look at her.

  “I’m not sure I like this dame. She’s got attitude. Loads of it. What’s different about you?”

  She giggled and brushed a kiss across his cheek. “Luc, I’m—the thing is—Dexter—”

  “Is on a plane headed home, and you dumped his smarmy self. I know. I wondered how long it would take you to come clean.”

  “How did you know?” She sat upright and leaned against her door.

  “Katie, I don’t miss a lot.”

  She pouted.

  “Especially when it pertains to the woman I love.”

  “Don’t.” She placed a hand on his arm. “No pressure tonight, all right? Let’s simply have fun.”

  “Done.”

  The rehearsal dinner was held at the Commander’s Palace, a five-star restaurant for old money on Washington Avenue near the streetcar. The restaurant endured, a staple of New Orleans cuisine since shortly after the Civil War. Katie had never before entered its hallowed halls. Though she might have afforded such a dinner for a special occasion, that occasion had never presented itself. And if it had, most likely Mam would have cooked something special at home instead.