“You know. The one I was wearing when…” The memory of the circumstances under which I walked out of his house with his t-shirt on are still too painful for me to finish my sentence.
He quickly catches on. “That t-shirt? You still have that? I thought you would’ve burned that by now.”
“I probably should have. Instead, I’ve been sleeping in it every night.” The words slip from my lips.
The look of surprise on his face tells me I shouldn’t have revealed that. The intensity with which he looks at me has my stomach in knots. His eyes remain locked onto mine, as his expression changes from surprise to joyfulness to tenderness in a matter of a few seconds. He bends down and places a tender kiss on my forehead. “I don’t deserve you, Aleah. But I’m sure as hell, happy to have you.”
After he’s changed into the t-shirt and his boxers, he comes back to bed. He gathers me in his arms and places my head on his chest right above his heart. He runs his hands gently through my hair as he kisses my hair and my forehead over and over again. His presence and his affection soothe my aching heart. I wrap my arms around his chest and finally succumb to sleep to the beautiful rhythm of his heart.
FIVE
AIDEN
I continue staring at her profile as she sleeps. She’s sleeping peacefully, as if she’s locked the demons that hunt her memory away. I wish I could gather up those demons and crush them so hard that there would be nothing left of them. I want to reach through her mind and erase every single painful memory ever etched there. I wish I could protect her from everything bad that’s ever happened to her and anything that might happen in the future.
The protective feelings she evokes inside me are completely foreign to me, but they’re a welcomed change from the indifference I felt towards every other woman before her. She invokes a range of emotions in me I never knew existed.
The thought of what must have happened to her to illicit the kind of reaction she had last night rips my heart out. I had a bad feeling, a nagging suspicion that something terrible had happened to her. Last night confirmed those suspicions. The idea that someone would violate her in such a horrible way makes my blood boil and my palms sweat in rage. I wish she could talk to me and tell me who did this to her, so I could kill them with my own bare hands. But I know she’s not ready to talk yet and I don’t want to push her. More than anything else, I don’t want to scare her or push her away. Now that I have her back in my life, I won’t do anything to risk losing her again. The past few weeks have been some of the hardest of my whole life, and with all the crap I went through as a child that says a lot.
When she said she’d forgiven my horrible mistake, it was like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. I was so happy I was on cloud nine. What I didn’t realize then was that even though she had forgiven me, she wanted to keep her distance. She never said that to me directly, but after a few failed attempts to get her to go out to dinner or talk on the phone, I got the hint. As hard as it was for me to stay away, I did it for her. I knew she deserved at least that much from me. I told myself that it’s for the best. That she deserves better than me anyway. That I’d end up hurting her again. I convinced myself that staying away was the best thing I could do for her.
But when she told me last night that she can’t stop thinking about me, all my reservations went out the window. There was no chance in hell I could express self-control when she looked at me with those innocent black eyes and told me it’s me she wants. If she feels for me even a fraction of what I feel for her, then we have to give this a try. I don’t know if I’ll ever again cross paths with someone who affects me the same way she does, and I don’t want to find out. I spent half the night watching her and vowing to myself that I will do anything and everything in my power to treat her right and help heal her wounds.
The bright late morning sun is starting to trickle in through the blinds and onto her face. The way the sun reflects from her skin makes her look like an angel, and in this instant I have no doubt that she’s my angel. Sent directly to the earth for me to help redeem my demons and repent my sins.
She slowly opens her eyes and the smile that crosses her face when she me has my heart squeezed.
“Good morning,” she tells me in a hoarse sleepy voice.
“Morning to you, beautiful.”
The wide grin on her face tells me I’m moving in the right direction.
“How long have you been up?” she asks.
“For a while.”
“Were you watching me?” she asks shyly.
“Maybe,” I respond. “You have the most beautiful peaceful look on your face, when you sleep. I could watch you for hours.”
The blush that creeps up her cheeks takes my breath away. I bend in to press a quick kiss to her lips and end up devouring them instead. I move between slow and gentle to hard and desperate and everything in between. The kiss is a mirror image of what I feel inside. A varied range of emotions unparalleled to anything I’ve ever experienced before. When I feel myself starting to get lost in the moment, I slowly pull back and duck my head so I don’t see the disappointed look in her eyes. No matter what she may feel at the moment, after last night, I know she’s not ready to move much further than kissing. And I sure as hell don’t want to do anything that might lead to what happened last night again.
I kiss her nose and her forehead before rising from the bed.
“Why don’t you take a shower, while I make you breakfast?”
“You’re going to make me breakfast?” she asks in surprise. “I could get used to that.”
“You will get used to that,” I promise her.
SIX
ALEAH
I walk out of my bedroom and am immediately overtaken by the scene in front of me. Aiden is standing at my stove cooking. He has his back to me and seems lost in his own world. He looks like he’s at his element at the stove. I never thought that a wealthy man like him who grew up with nannies and housekeepers would know how to cook or have any interest in learning. But this man has a way of surprising me in more ways than one. His reaction to the freak show I put on last night being the most prominent on my mind.
I’m still mortified at what happened last night. The fact that I reacted so severely and uncontrollably to what should have been a natural pleasant act between two people who are attracted to each other deeply embarrasses me. But the reality that he not only did not run away, but was also so understanding and sweet, tells me that there is more to Aiden that meets the eye. He may seem like a rich spoiled playboy to those who only see the surface, but when you peel the superficial layers off and look inside his heart, there is nothing but pure gold there. The gold may be rusty and covered in dust from years of being buried and covered up, but once you dust it off, it shines through in golden hues.
I walk slowly up to him. His back is still to me, and he is so wrapped up in his cooking that he doesn’t notice me even when I stand right behind him. I lean forward and gently wrap my arms around him, placing my head on his back. He seems tense for a second at my sneaking up behind him, but then relaxes and covers my hands with his. I lean into him and hug him tightly. We stay like that for a long time, as I let my body savor this moment. I relish his proximity and his touch. I take in his unwavering strength and the sense of security his arms give me. I revel in the sense of contentment I feel in my soul when we’re physically and emotionally connected like this.
He seems to sense that I need this moment, so he lets me enjoy it without saying a word. He doesn’t even move a muscle until he absolutely has to. When he does, he turns slowly around and places a kiss on top of my head.
“I’d love to stand like this with you all day, but if I don’t tend to our breakfast, we’re going to have charred eggs and bacon.”
“Of course. Get to the food so I can have something to eat. I’m starving,” I tease to lighten the mood.
He chuckles. “Impatient, aren’t we?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Is t
here anything I can do to help?”
“Just pour yourself some coffee. The food is ready. I just need to serve it.”
He starts opening cabinet doors looking for something, and I just watch him for a few minutes, enjoying the view to much too interrupt.
“Where are your plates?” he finally asks.
“Top left cabinet,” I respond.
He places a plate full of food in front of me on the table and takes the seat across from me. Before he starts eating, he stares into my eyes with a sad smile on his face and I’m immediately transported to the events of the prior evening. I’m overtaken by embarrassment over my actions and bend my head down in shame, avoiding his eyes.
“You must think I’m a real freak,” I finally say when I lift my head up.
“What the hell are you talking about?” he asks in confusion.
“Last night… How I reacted,” I try to explain.
Understanding comes over his features. He rises from his chair, walks to mine, and then kneels down until we’re eye to eye.
“I don’t think you’re a freak, Aleah. I think you are a beautifully broken bird who’s trying to break off her old shackles, heal up her wounds, and free up her wings to fly. And I think you’re doing a remarkable job at all of that considering everything that’s being going on in your life in the last few months. If anything what happened last night showed me how strong you truly are. The fact that you’ve been hurt so bad that your body would react the way it did, and you’re still living your life the way you are just tells me how resilient your heart is.”
Tears well up in my eyes at his words. I let one drop slip past my eye and roll down my cheek. He places his thumb on my face, catching the tear on his nail. He carefully brings the drop up to his lips to kiss it, and with it he touches my soul. More tears follow as the flood of emotions running through my body bursts through the dam of my self-control. Aiden gathers me in his arms and holds me tight until the tears stop and my fears subside.
I may still have a lot of uncertainties about us, but his actions leave no doubt in my mind as to the sincerity of his feelings for me and the goodness of his heart.
We leave for his apartment after breakfast so he can shower and change. On the way there, Aiden gets a call from Lou. He picks up the call, putting Lou on the speaker. Lou’s angry tone of voice immediately makes me realize something is off.
“Where did you spend the night, Aiden?” Lou asks in anger.
Aiden tries to act calm. “Why do you ask?”
“Because according to your Grandpa’s will, we have people that watch you. Your car was not parked at your apartment complex last night. If the informants are correct, it seems like you spent the night at Aleah’s place. Are you trying to jeopardize your chances at the inheritance?”
I cringe, realizing that by spending the night at my place, Aiden inadvertently broke one of the rules of the experiment. The rules say that Aiden can’t stay with any family members and according to Lou that includes me. We knew this, but both completely forgot.
“I did Lou, but this was a special case. I’m not going to get into the details, because frankly it is nobody’s business... But it is not what you think… Aleah had a stressful situation and needed me to stay nearby and I did. I’m not going to apologize for that. But I promise it won’t happen again.”
“It better not.” Lou says, before hanging up.
I turn to Aiden, after the phone is disconnected. “I’m really sorry I got you in trouble. I didn’t even think about that.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I forgot too, but I would have stayed either way. If they can’t overlook one incident, then I don’t want it anyway.”
“Don’t say that, Aiden”
He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s true, but I think I’m fine. We just have to be extra careful from now on.”
Once inside his apartment, he asks me if I mind waiting for him for a little bit while he steps out to get a few things he needs. His cryptic words sound suspicious, but I have a feeling he’s planning a surprise for me so I stay mum and simply nod my head.
He takes over an hour to come back. By then I’m anxious and impatient to know what is going on, and a little angry at him for keeping me waiting. But when I see the huge smile on his face, I can’t help smiling back.
“What are you up to, Aiden?”
“You’ll find out soon enough. Let’s go. The car is ready.”
“Ready for what?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
“To take you to paradise,” he says with a wink.
“Is that so?”
“That’s exactly so. Now hurry up before you lose your paradise,” he jokes.
We get in the car, and he heads up north. I don’t ask him where we’re going. I know it’s no use. Instead, I decide to enjoy the ride in his company. He reaches over and grabs my hand in his. Looking down at our entwined fingers stirs up a well of emotions in my mind. There is so much potential there, but also so many impossible challenges. The fact that neither one of us has said a word about our sudden reunion worries me. It’s as if we’re both in denial about our true circumstances. As if we don’t want to burst the happy bubble we’ve suddenly found ourselves in. Lines of worry take hold in my thoughts and don’t let go until I know I have to say something.
“What are we doing, Aiden?”
“What do you mean? I told you. I’m taking you to paradise,” he teases.
“No. I mean you and me. What are we doing together? Nothing is changed about us since yesterday. You’re still you and I’m still me and we still have the same issues. Why are we back together?”
His expression changes immediately, as he maneuvers the car to the exit lane of the freeway. He quickly exits and finds the first parking lot to pull into. Once the car is parked, he turns fully to me.
“Everything has changed since yesterday. Yes, I’m still me and you’re still you, but that’s exactly why we’re back together. You have to understand. I never stopped wanting you.”
“But you stopped calling and texting me,” I interject.
“Because I thought that’s what you wanted. I was giving you space because it was obvious that you weren’t comfortable being around me anymore. So as difficult as it was for me, I held myself back and stopped contacting you. But the question has never been whether or not I want you. From the first time I met you, Aleah, never has a day gone by without me thinking about you or wanting you. You had that kind of effect on me. When I started to get to know you, I was even more drawn to you. My reservations about this relationship have never been about not wanting you. They’ve always been about me not deserving you...”
“What?” I ask in shock.
He raises his hands. “Let me finish. You know my history. I don’t have a good track record with women. In fact, none of the men in my family have a good history with women. So I was afraid of doing something to hurt you. That’s the only reason I stayed away… Well, that and the fact that you were married to my Grandpa for a while there,” he says in a sarcastic tone, before continuing.
“I still don’t understand that marriage, but the fact that I’ve moved past it should tell you something about how I feel about you. When you kissed me that night at the observatory, I started to forget all my reasons for denying myself…denying us the incredible connection we have. But after you got upset over what I said to my mom and I saw how hurt you were, I pulled back because I thought that’s what you want…”
“But the past few weeks have been hell for me… I’ve missed you every single day. Before you came into my life, I was living in a closed-off bubble. Since I couldn’t see anything outside of the bubble I lived in, I was okay with my life. I wouldn’t say that I was happy and content, but I was fine… And then you barged into my life and showed me a side of life I never knew existed… You showed me what real kindness is, what it means to fully trust someone and what sacrifice looks like… Your actions proved to me that there are still some individuals in thi
s world that care more about people than money… And you taught me how to be friends with a woman without being physically intimate. You’ve shown me what it means to have a deep connection with someone. Because of you, my eyes are now open to a whole new world, and now I just can’t go back to my life before you. I tried. The past few weeks, I tried to leave a normal life, but I just couldn’t. Even when I went out with friends and coworkers, I just wasn’t feeling it anymore… Still, I stayed away from you because I was trying to be respectful of your wishes, but when you told me last night that you’ve been thinking about me too, I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. Did you tell me the truth, Aleah? Is what you said real?”
I simply nod my head, as I can’t get any words past the heavy lodge in my throat.
“Then why wouldn’t we be together? If we both feel this way, why deny ourselves of something so beautiful and so incredible? It would be stupid of us not to try.”
“What about your family, Aiden? What will you tell them? They will always hate me and will always think our relationship is unacceptable. That’s not going to change,” I say, almost choking on the words.
“To hell with my family,” he exclaims. “I don’t give a rat’s ass what any of them think. The only people in family that I care about are my sister and my grandma and I guarantee you both of them will love you once they get to know you. I’ve never had a good relationship with any of the rest, and I don’t care what they think now.”
“Even if you don’t care about them, they’re still a part of your life and you still have to deal with them. What happens the next time we run into your mom? What are you going to tell her then? A story like the last time?”
He cringes, visibly embarrassed at the memory of what he told his mom, but I don’t blink. I need to see his reaction to see how far he’s willing to go for me.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” is his only response.
Redeeming Love (Resilient Hearts #2) Page 5
