Now or Never

by Victoria Denault

  My heart slowly slides into my flip-flops. “I don’t…” I pause. It has to be. It does. I stand up from the table. “Yeah, it must be.”

  We both walk to the bedroom, but it’s not there.

  24

  Holden

  I’m on the back deck turning off the grill and making sure everything is cleaned up when I hear Winnie’s voice—it’s angry. I turn and look through the windows of the dining room. She’s standing there, facing her brother, and they both look tense as hell. I head back inside. Every step feels ominous for some reason.

  “I know what you’re thinking and it’s not true!” Winnie says as I open the back door and step inside.

  “Then where is it?” Jude wants to know.

  “We should go,” Bradie says cautiously as she stands and motions for Duke.

  “What’s going on?” I ask and everyone turns and looks at me. Each person has a different expression but none of them is good. Bradie looks uncomfortable. Duke looks confused. Jude looks disillusioned and Zoey looks worried. Winnie’s face is filled with anger.

  Bradie clears her throat, but her voice is still clogged with skepticism, like she can’t believe the words she’s saying…or at least doesn’t want to. “Jude is missing his Stanley Cup ring.”

  Her support seems foreign to me too. I can’t remember ever having it before. Winnie raises her hand and points at me. “See! He looks baffled because he is baffled.”

  “Look, I’m not saying—”

  “But you are!” Winnie interrupts him. “You think he stole your ring. And Bradie clearly does too.”

  “I don’t want to think that!” Bradie says defensively.

  “And I don’t know what to think,” Jude argues.

  “Is there any place else it could be?” Zoey asks, looking around the room like it’s going to magically appear under the table or something.

  “Yeah, like maybe it got put in a drawer or moved into another room?” Bradie adds, and I realize she’s fighting for me too, just like Winnie.

  “Holden wouldn’t do that,” Winnie says, her eyes on Jude. “You said at the beach I was a great judge of character and I am. I wouldn’t be with him if I didn’t think he would guard me, this house and everything else I love with his life. He’s trustworthy. I would bet my life that he didn’t steal that ring, Jude.”

  Everyone looks at me again. I’m still reeling but this time from her words. She’s standing up for me. She’s got no more doubt, no more fear. She’s no longer looking for excuses. She’s mine as much as I am hers—finally.

  “I didn’t steal your ring,” I confirm. “And I have to say, that if I thought you believed that I ever would, I wouldn’t have taken the job.”

  Jude moves his eyes from his sister’s anguished face to mine. He’s expression is pure contrition mixed with anguish. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be an accusatory ass. It’s just…that ring means a lot to me, because of what it meant to my dad. He loved that I gave it to him and…I’m not thinking straight. I have to find it. But I’m wrong to jump to conclusions, and Winnie is right. I trust her opinion and I need to rely on my gut, which has always said you’re a good guy.”

  “I want to believe in you too,” Bradie says, looking at me with sadness in her eyes. “But where is it?”

  “Kidd,” I say and Winnie jumps.

  “Oh God, you’re right,” she exclaims. “Stephen Kidd helped us the other day when Holden was out with the flu.”

  “We don’t know a hundred percent that it was him,” I find myself saying because…I don’t know why. Force of habit. “But he’s stolen before. Granted it was when we were kids and I thought he’d changed or I never would have let him on the job site.”

  “We were desperate and I told you to call him,” Winnie says and sighs. “Let’s find him.”

  “No,” I argue and grab my phone out of my pocket. “Let’s let the police figure it out. If he did do this, he needs to face the consequences. I am done giving that guy a free pass.”

  I scroll through my contacts until I find Joel’s number. I figured if he was willing to help me out in the dunes, he’d still be friendly now. I explain the situation to him, and he says he’ll look into it.

  “Kidd,” Winnie repeats his name and shakes her head I can tell she wants to say much more but there is a child in the room.

  “I’m sorry,” Jude says to me and I can tell he means it.

  “Don’t be sorry. This is all my fault,” I say and I feel worse now than the fucking flu ever made me feel. “At the end of the day, if he did take it, that’s on me for hiring him. I was sick, but I should have known better than to rely on Kidd.”

  “I gave him the chance too,” Winnie pipes up. “And I was the client by association. You said it yourself. I approved it, so I’m to blame.”

  “No one is to blame but Kidd, if he did this,” Bradie says. “Let’s keep looking around. Maybe it got put somewhere else by mistake, or it’s under a piece of furniture or something.”

  Jude nods. “Good idea.”

  “Duke, you go take Declan in the other room and play okay?” Bradie suggests.

  Duke pushes back from the table and Declan says to him. “I have Legos!”

  “Cool!”

  They head into the living room while the rest of us start hunting around the house, looking under the furniture in the sunroom and dining room. Winnie turns to me. “The boxes we used to store stuff are in the recycling bin on the back deck. I’m going to make sure Jude’s ring didn’t get stuck in one of them.”

  She walks out the back door and I follow her. I lift the lid on their recycling bin and watch her start to pull out boxes.

  “Thank you,” I say.

  Winnie looks up at me, distracted. “For what?”

  “For defending me.”

  She sees the box in her hand is empty and drops it at her feet. “You’re welcome. Damn. This is the only box that isn’t broken down. I think you would have seen it fall out when you tore apart the other boxes, right?”

  I cup the back of her head. “Thank you. No one has ever given me the benefit of the doubt before, let alone someone I love.”

  She smiles softly, her skin glowing in the moonlight. “I’ve been thinking about your silly fishing analogy from the other night. You were talking about how invisible fishing wire is, right? And how you can hold a pole on the beach and no one knows if you’re actually fishing because you can’t see the line from afar. We’re fishing. There’s a strong line. I’m in. All in. And that means defending you because I trust you and know you and believe you when you say you wouldn’t do this.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” She rocks up on her toes and kisses me chastely.

  The back door swings open, and Bradie leans out onto the deck. “Zoey found it!”

  Winnie and I follow Bradie through the house to the front porch. Zoey is in the dining room holding the small Plexiglas box with the shiny white gold and diamond ring inside. “Floor vent!” she says triumphantly. “You had the covers off them at one point didn’t you?”

  I nod, too dumbfounded and grateful to speak. “It must have tumbled in or been knocked in my mistake. I always check the vents. Well, ever since Declan shoved a slice of cheese through the one in our living room. You’d be amazed how quickly cheese starts to stink,” Jude says and makes a face. He looks over at me as he takes the ring from Zoey. “I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am.”

  “Apology accepted,” I say and dig my phone out of my back pocket. “But I just did the same thing to Kidd, so if you’ll excuse me, I have to call Joel and try to catch him before he gets to Kidd’s.”

  I step back onto the porch as I hear Jude call to Duke. “Hey, Duke! Wanna try on a Stanley Cup ring?”

  “Are you kidding me? Yeah!”

  I smile but it’s short-lived because I feel like shit. I’ve spent the last few months here in Maine being judged for my past and I just did the same to Kidd. Luckily, Joel answers
the phone right away and he hasn’t been to see Kidd yet.

  “No need to bother him. I was completely wrong. We found the ring. I’m so sorry to bother you, Joel,” I tell him.

  “No problem. It’s my job,” Joel replies easily. “Now speaking of jobs, can you come by this weekend and give me a quote on some renos to my condo?”

  “Definitely.” When we hang up, I decide I’m going to ask Kidd to help me on the roofing job I’m starting next. Maybe he just needs the same thing I did: a second chance.

  When I walk back in the house, Duke’s got Jude’s Stanley Cup ring on his finger. It’s way too big, but the beaming smile on his face says he doesn’t care at all. “Can I get a picture with you and the ring?” Duke asks.

  “Totally!” Jude replies, and Bradie pulls out her phone. She’s smiling, which makes her look younger. It’s the first time since we reunited that she doesn’t look skeptical or stressed. She snaps the photo and hands the phone to Duke to approve it, and then looks up at me. “You better teach him all your tricks because he’s definitely not going to give up on his NHL dreams now.”

  I grin. “I’ll do my damn best to make his dreams come true.”

  “I’m going to hold you to that,” she says quietly. “You wanted in. You’re in.”

  “Good.” I reach over and give her a small side hug and she wraps an arm around my waist and hugs me back.

  Winnie calls from the kitchen. “Boston cream pie is being served!”

  When dessert is over, Zoey picks up a sticky Declan and excuses herself to get him into the bath. “I’m so glad we have a tub now. That stand-up metal shower stall was a nightmare.”

  “Seriously, dude, you did a fabulous job, and I will write you a glowing recommendation if you need it,” Jude offers.

  “Thanks. I will take you up on that just as soon as I get my incorporation paperwork in and get a website up and running,” I explain.

  “The Hendricks Homes website will be up and running by Christmas,” Winnie says. Our eyes meet. “I bought the domain name for you the other day.”

  “You…” I turn in my seat, cup her face and kiss her.

  Jude groans. Duke joins him and Bradie laughs.

  I turn to Jude. “Sorry. You’re probably going to be seeing a lot of that. Your sister is completely in love with me.”

  Jude smiles at me. “You can do better.”

  “Shut up!” Winnie throws her napkin at her brother. Jude, having the reflexes of a cat, catches it easily. Then, his face grows serious.

  “You make her happy,” Jude says. “If that ever changes, I will destroy you.”

  “As expected,” I reply.

  He looks over at his sister. “Dad liked Holden. He’d be happy for you.”

  The sadness that ravaged her is still there, but not consuming her. “He would be happy. And in case you haven’t figured it out, I’m staying in Maine. Indefinitely.”

  I release a breath and everything in me relaxes. It’s like the last puzzle piece finally gets locked into place. I know it’s going to create a bunch more groans but I don’t care, I kiss her again.

  Epilogue

  Winnie

  Ten months later

  I turn at the knock on the bedroom door. My mom is standing there in a beautiful rose-colored dress. It was my dad’s favorite color on her. “Dad was right. That color brings out the pink in your cheeks.”

  She smiles. “I’m so glad Dixie wasn’t serious when she kept saying she was going to make you and Sadie wear mustard taffeta and satin ball gowns as bridesmaids dresses.”

  “With giant matching bows for our hair,” I add and then look down at my very classy, lacy blush-pink dress. “Thankfully she wasn’t willing to ruin her own wedding photos for the sake of a joke.”

  “She’s almost ready,” Mom says about Dixie. “She’s just getting her makeup retouched because she had a bit of a cry. We both did, but it was a good cry.”

  I cross the room and hug my mom. “Today is going to be full of good cries. It’s the only cry he’d want us to have.”

  “He’d be blubbering worse than any of us,” Mom laughs as she lets go of me. “Not just for Dixie but for the joy he’d see in your face now too.”

  My heart swells. “You’ve noticed.”

  “Of course,” Mom says, her eyes sparkling. “I miss not having you in San Francisco, but I can tell, in your voice when we talk on the phone and seeing you on FaceTime calls, that this is where you need to be. That he’s who you need to be with.”

  I bite my bottom lip and hesitate but then decide to let her in on our secret. “We bought the house next door.”

  She blinks, her expression startled but not in a horrified way. “The two of you? Together? I didn’t know the neighbors were selling.”

  “They asked Holden for a quote on renos and were so overwhelmed with the work that needed to be done they decided they were going to list it,” I explain. “Holden and I decided to make an offer. They accepted.”

  She hugs me again, which is a clear sign she approves. “I’m so excited for you, Win! I love that you’ll be right next door,” she says. As she pulls back, her expression grows serious. “But renovating a house together can be stressful. Don’t let it create too much stress.”

  “Are you kidding?” I say and wink. “We love living through renos together. If it weren’t for renos, we wouldn’t have found each other.”

  She laughs and then I hear Holden clear his throat from the door. My mom immediately starts out of the room. “Meet me downstairs in a few minutes and you can help us get Dixie into her dress.” I nod and she turns to Holden with a friendly smile. “You look dashing.”

  “Thanks, Mrs. Braddock.” He grins with pride and adjusts the bow tie on his tux. “You look lovely.”

  “I do,” she agrees. “And it’s Enid to you. You’re family now.”

  My heart skips happily at that comment. From the expression on Holden’s face I can tell his must have too. My mom disappears from view and as I hear her descend the stairs.

  Holden walks into the bedroom we’ve been sharing for months and wraps his arms around my waist. “You’re stunning.”

  I don’t have my heels on yet so I rock up on my tiptoes and kiss him. God, we’ve lived together in the cottage for ten months, and I still cannot get enough of this man. I hope that never changes. When he breaks the kiss, I glance at the clock on the bedside table. Damn. No time for a quickie. I sigh and check my reflection in the mirror again to make sure my lipstick doesn’t need a retouch.

  “You told your mom about the place next door?” he asks.

  “I did. She’s thrilled,” I say. “We can tell the others tomorrow. Today is all Dixie. I don’t want to steal the bride’s spotlight. She might beat me with her bouquet.”

  He chuckles at that but the grin he’s wearing now is all about our new house. He’s so excited we did this—together. I am too, but it feels incredibly surreal right now. Like I can’t believe it. That will change next month when we get to move in. I hadn’t expected to buy a place with him. When winter hit, I asked the family if Holden and I could stay in the cottage for the season. They agreed. No one asked us to pay rent, just utilities, so we both ended up saving a ton of cash. With tons of word-of-mouth referrals, Holden’s company was really taking off. In January, I became a substitute teacher at Thornton Academy, taking over a math class and science class for a teacher on maternity leave. I adore the school and they offered me a full-time, permanent position in the fall. I’m sure no one would mind if we stayed in the cottage indefinitely, but it’s the family’s house and we both were feeling the need to have a space just our own. We had decided to move his trailer back to the seasonal park he had it in last year and spend the summer there, but then the neighbor decided to sell. It was too perfect to ignore.

  I turn away from the mirror, ready to go downstairs and help Dixie finish getting ready for her big day, when I notice Holden has opened his bedside table drawer and is pulling something
out of it. It’s wrapped in pretty paper covered in bluebirds. He gives me a tentative smile. “I did something for you. For our new place.”

  I smile and take the package from him. He looks kind of nervous. I tear the paper away and stare at my dad’s letter, in a sleek, simple cherry wood frame. “I didn’t read it or anything,” he explains nervously. “I noticed that it was getting tattered just sitting on your bedside table.”

  I fight back tears. “This is the sweetest thing you could have done for me. I love it.”

  I drop down on the bed beside him and kiss him quickly before dropping my head onto his shoulder. I look at the letter, take a deep breath, and read it out loud for the first time ever.

  My sweet Winona Skye,

  My first daughter. When you were born, I was absolutely terrified. I grew up with brothers, and then I had a son, but you…with your big hazel eyes and your perfect dimpled chin, you were six delicate pounds that I didn’t know what to do with. The first time I held you, you wailed like a banshee, your arms flailing. In panic, I tried to give you back to your mom, but you suddenly wrapped your little fingers around my pinkie and went completely silent. Our eyes locked and I swear you and I were making a promise—a pinkie swear—to always just be there. Just being there would be enough. If you’re reading this letter, then I can no longer be there for you, and I’m sorry for that. I wanted it to be different.

  But I’m so grateful for the time we did have. I watched you grow into a beautiful, bright, kind, strong woman…but I never got to see you realize it yourself. This is not a criticism, sweetheart. You were getting there, but my illness threw everything and everyone off track. But now…now I need you to do something for me, Win. I need you to get right back on track. Do not let my absence stop you.

  Go after what you want, and know you deserve it. You deserve love and light and laughter, Winnie. You deserve joy. I haven’t seen joy in your eyes for a very long time—even before I got sick. You tend to play it safe. You sometimes don’t trust your gut. You wait. You hesitate. Stop that, and just go for it—whatever it is that inspires you, that motivates you, that brings you joy. Go for it. It’s now or never, sweet pea.