Monster: A Dark Arranged Marriage Romance

by Vanessa Waltz

  “Do you have room for one more?”

  A life preserver plunged into water. I grabbed the ring and floated to the boat. A blond kid hauled me aboard, and I collapsed, heaving.

  A blanket fell around my shoulders, and I patted the kid’s arm in thanks.

  “What are you doing all the way out here?” someone asked.

  “Check the news.”

  A brunette in a white bikini tapped through her phone, gasping. “Shooter kills two at packed beach. What kind of psycho would do that?”

  I holed up in my office, holding my skull as though I could yank out my muddled thoughts. Vinn texted me that he was okay, but those bastards had taken out his security and injured innocent people. Two were in critical condition. I’d barely escaped with my life. I couldn’t be sure who shot me, or why.

  Legion?

  Traffickers?

  Dimly, I listened to Evie walking through the penthouse, and the thought of never again hearing her footsteps pitted me with nausea.

  What if something happened to her?

  “T, I need an answer.”

  I glanced up from my hands. “On what?”

  “What’s your decision?” Knox stood over the desk, waving a manila folder at me. “I’ve drafted no-fault divorce papers because we can’t get out of this another way. Courts don’t like lifestyle clauses. They’re hard to enforce and unreasonable, and your prenup definitely falls under that.”

  My stomach clenched.

  We hadn’t discussed this in months. In the beginning, I’d planned to give them to her on our one-year anniversary. Six months into our marriage, I hated the sight of them. I ripped the folder from him and tore it to pieces. Then I dumped it in the wastebasket. If I’d had a match, I would’ve burned the fucker.

  “Did I make myself clear?”

  “Tony, think about you’re doing.” Knox spoke slowly, as though I’d suffered a concussion. “Evie isn’t pregnant, right? In six months, that’ll be a problem. Those accounts disappear unless you take your cousin to court, which will put the nail in your coffin.”

  “I’m not divorcing Evie.”

  “Abandoning your inheritance is not an option.”

  “Says who?”

  “Cainan. You might hate him, but he’s keeping you alive.”

  I hadn’t heard from him in weeks, and it made me uneasy. “By letting them shoot me on a public beach?”

  “Cainan doesn’t have the power to sway the entire ring. They’re under the impression that you just wanted your wife back. Emotions were running high. You snapped and killed him. Most of them are willing to overlook his death because K broke their rules. They’re not supposed to take married women.”

  “Because they’re property of other men, and that’s the only thing these dipshits respect.”

  “Tony, not all of them agree. You’ll have to look over your shoulder from now on. That’s why I think we should proceed with the divorce early. You need leverage over Vinn. Lose that, and Cainan will write you off. There goes your protection from K’s inner circle.” His mouth pulled in a contemptuous curl. “If you’re not willing to divorce her, get her pregnant.”

  Would giving Evie one baby be so terrible?

  My cousins seemed to manage. Their lives weren’t miserable. Impregnating Evie would trap her with me. Forever. Even if we divorced, she could never cut me out of her life completely. That had massive appeal, but after days of self-reflection and considering it from all angles, I’d landed on no.

  I’d never be a good father.

  I couldn’t protect anyone. Hell, I almost died just a few hours ago.

  “She wants kids with me, Knox. Like actually wants them.” I raked my hair and downed the rest of my seltzer, wishing it were vodka. “With me. Of all people. Doesn’t she understand how insane that is?”

  “Yeah, she should get knocked up by the mailman.”

  “You know what I mean, you idiot. I can’t raise a child.”

  “How bad could you be?”

  I couldn’t find out. “What are the chances she’ll drop this?”

  “Unlikely. It’s a biological drive for women, but the good news is that she’ll have plenty of fertile years after you’re murdered.”

  Fuck you.

  I’d dig in my heels until the barrel was against my forehead. I wanted this marriage to work, but it was looking more likely that it wouldn’t.

  Anguish knotted my stomach.

  “Evie and I aren’t breaking up.”

  Knox zipped his bomber jacket and glared. As he left out the door, the monster’s voice boomed in my head.

  You can want a happily-ever-after all you like.

  It won’t happen.

  Twenty-Nine

  Evie

  I’m grateful that my husband is punctual.

  T: I’ll be home in ten minutes.

  T: You better be kneeling.

  In the weeks since Tony moved in, hardly a day went by that he didn’t fuck me senseless, and my work had suffered because he was all I wanted to do.

  I’d never been in love before.

  I was unprepared for the desire blossoming within me, needing him every hour, the throttling arousal with his gentle touch, and putting his happiness first.

  I saw children in my future. I hoped someday he would change his mind. I loved him so much that I wanted the proof of our love carried from generation to generation, so that the man I’d grown to admire never truly disappeared.

  I knelt several feet from the entrance, wearing a silk thong and nothing else. My body hummed as the door swung. Tony entered in slate gray pants that hugged his athletic thighs and ass and a fitted white shirt that strained over a muscled chest. He reamed someone out on the phone.

  “Che cazzo dici? Vai a prenderlo in culo.”

  He stabbed at the screen, ending the call.

  I recognized dick and asshole, which spoke volumes about my progress with learning Italian.

  He shuffled through the mail, stepping around me as he continued into the kitchen. He grabbed a glass from the dishwasher and filled it from the sink. After he set it down, he faced me.

  His greeting was a rough growl. “Did I say you could move?”

  Tony’s haughty disapproval tingled my skin like feathers. I sucked in my bottom lip as he approached. His hand skimmed my hair. Then it dipped. His coarse touch lit me like fireworks, even though it suggested he hated me.

  He grasped my chin. “I’m not in the mood for backtalk.”

  “Sorry, sir.”

  “I’m pleased you followed my directions. It’d be such a shame if I had to punish you for mouthing off.”

  I grinned. “Well, then I wouldn’t be me.”

  “You like being my toy, don’t you?” His sultry murmur stroked between my legs. “You want to be tossed around, used for my pleasure, and fucked. You know it makes me crazy. You like it when I lose control. It turns you on.”

  “It does.”

  Hunger gleamed in his gaze. “Are you hoping that I’ll come inside you?”

  “I want to give you everything.”

  “I know. I see your beautiful heart.” His fingers tangled in my hair, caressing. “I knew you were a good girl when I saw your photo. It was wrong…Fuck, it was so terrible of me to pick you. I thought I’d play with you and get you out of my system, but I can’t. You’re mine.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “You better be sure, because I’m not letting you go.” He cradled my jaw, his voice softening. “You’re one hell of a drug.”

  A hot ache grew in my throat. I wrapped my arm around his leg and leaned against his thigh. He brushed my hair until the sweet moment passed, and then his grip turned fierce.

  He pinned me over the coffee table.

  His seductive smile seemed to penetrate me before he wedged himself in my mouth. His head tilted back, rapturous. The sight made me ravenous for his attention between my legs. He granted my silent wish, pushing my thighs apart to lick me while he thru
st in my mouth. When his breath hit my pussy, I surrendered.

  Later, I melted into a pool of bliss on our bed as Tony disappeared into the bathroom. His muscular frame slid in and out of view as he washed his face. He mopped his neck as he reentered the bedroom, the mouthwatering image of his briefs stretched over his glutes dragging me from the sheets. Still drunk on a post-orgasmic glow, I stumbled into his walk-in closet.

  “Um—I was thinking we could go out tonight.”

  Tony zipped his pants. “What did you have in mind?”

  “There’s this Thai restaurant downtown that looks awesome.”

  He frowned. “I thought you hated Thai.”

  I shrugged. “I’ve been having cravings.”

  Earlier today, I’d scrolled through a social media post. I clicked on the link, and it brought me to the gallery of appetizing images. Suddenly, an intense yearning for condensed milk, black tea, and coconut assaulted me.

  His brows pinched as he tucked in his shirt. “I’ll get a reservation under a fake name.”

  I crossed my fingers. “It’d be nice if Christian and Jennesy came, too.”

  “Are they a thing now?”

  “This would be their second date. She’s actually sneaking out to see him.”

  “Ah. Well, I’ll see what I can do.”

  Tony’s lack of enthusiasm wilted me a little. He clearly had no interest, but at least he was trying. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the skin above his unbuttoned collar. He endured it but didn’t reciprocate. Then he disengaged from me.

  “I’ll let you know soon.”

  He pressed his lips into my cheek, the imprint of his mouth burning me. Then he left me in a breeze of vanilla musk.

  I returned to bed in a fog, texting Jennesy.

  Me: Double date is on.

  Jennesy: Yasss! Where?

  Me: I was thinking Thai.

  Jennesy: What? You hate Thai!

  Me: I know…but I have this craving for coconut and noodles. The other day I ate pickles and chocolate cake. Together. LoL.

  Jennesy: Wow.

  Jennesy: Are you pregnant??!

  Shit.

  I might be pregnant.

  The test I bought from Target shortly after that conversation sat on the counter, taunting me. If Jennesy’s suspicions were right, it explained the bouts of nausea followed by an insatiable appetite, my missed period, and the strange cravings.

  I paced the bathroom, sweating.

  What if the result was positive?

  Excitement shot through my nerves because I’d imagined this ever since Dad’s lawyers shoved the prenup in my face. I had prepared for it before we’d said “I do,” but now I pictured our children’s features and obsessed about the details. Would they have his hollowed gaze? Or my hooded eyes? No doubt, dark brown hair. Tall and wide, or more willowy, like me? Olive skinned or pale?

  I checked the test again.

  A faint line joined the solid one already etched in the window.

  Holy fuck, I was carrying Tony’s child.

  An explosion took place in the pit of my stomach.

  Isabella would be ecstatic. She’d demand to be involved, and I’d appreciate the company. I didn’t have a mom to bombard with questions. My heart fluttered as I pictured a whirlwind of events—ultrasounds, the baby shower, pushing a stroller in parks, Tony and I holding our newborn, Tony rocking her to sleep.

  My enthusiasm shorted out.

  Tony would be pissed. He didn’t want kids and had told me so, repeatedly.

  He also said he loved me.

  That didn’t mean he was willing to forgo his lifestyle to run to doctor appointments and change diapers. He might walk out on us. My mother had professed to love me before she vanished. In my world, people rarely stuck around. Men made promises and broke them. Jennesy was living proof. I liked to think Tony wouldn’t abandon his child, but how could I be sure? He’d shot down trying for a baby, and now it was happening, six months into our flimsy marriage.

  Devastation wracked my chest.

  I loved him.

  I loved his baby, but would our relationship survive?

  I quietly lost my marbles at dinner.

  I pretended to hate the Thai iced tea, which I could no longer drink, and avoided Jennesy’s probing gaze. She’d sent me several demanding texts after I ghosted that conversation—Holy fuck, you’re pregnant?! I was kidding. If we locked eyes, I’d start crying, or she would make an overture, and I’d blurt the truth to a horrified Tony and Christian.

  Keep it together.

  I focused on our surroundings. Black-and-gold stenciled palm leaves flared on the bar’s backsplash. Potted, leafy plants stood in every corner. We sat beside a purple wall glowing with Thai letters, shadowed in darkness. A single LED candle glowed in the middle of the rustic table, illuminating our faces and not much else.

  “Good choice, T.” Christian flipped the menu, apparently impressed. “This looks amazing.”

  Jennesy leaned into his side. She’d pulled out all the stops tonight. She’d tamed her messy curls into waves that brushed a classy, black cocktail dress. She kept batting her eyes at Christian, who flashed a dimple in her direction.

  Tony had said little since we arrived, his fists clenched, watching the glass as though he expected an invasion. He tore his attention from it to peer at me.

  “You couldn’t wait to come here. Now you’re picking at your food?”

  I set my fork down, trying to settle my nerves. In ninety minutes or less, I’d tell him he was a father. I avoided Tony’s gaze and stared at my lap.

  “Sorry. I guess I’m not feeling well.”

  His stare drilled into me. “Do I need to hand-feed you? Because I don’t mind giving our friends a show.”

  My cheeks blazed.

  He glared at me until I pushed a tiny ball of rice past my lips and chewed, grimacing.

  He gawked at me. “You okay?”

  I forced my mouth to smile.

  It turned out that I hated Thai. Coconut still knotted my stomach and the nauseating smells from the kitchen didn’t help. I’d nibbled on the corner of the spring roll served with a peanut dipping sauce, but that was all I could stomach. I probably came off like a high-maintenance wife to everybody but Jennesy, who at least suspected the truth.

  “Planning anything for Mother’s Day?”

  Alarm shot up my spine, but Christian’s question was directed at Jennesy.

  “I’m sure the club is doing something. They’re always good about keeping me involved.” Jennesy’s smile glowed with happiness, and then it flickered out like a light. “It sucks that you can’t come home,” she said to me. “Ben misses his auntie. Maybe one day.”

  “Evie will have to walk over my corpse on her way there because I’m never allowing her to go to the MC again.”

  “T, lighten up.”

  Tony swiveled his head at Christian, sneering. “Wasn’t it a few weeks ago that you mentioned I was too lenient on Evie?”

  Really?

  “All right. Fine. I wouldn’t like my wife visiting the club either. No offense, hon,” Christian added as he winced at Jennesy. “I don’t trust the MC.”

  “They have no code,” interrupted Tony savagely. “Or honor. They’re lawless beasts with no respect for themselves, their women, or their property.”

  Jennesy made a thoughtful sound. She didn’t look put off, but it’d lowered her spirits. Then Christian took her hand and whispered in her ear. Her googly-eyed stare returned. Jennesy’s grabbed his tie and tugged him closer. Her saucy reply was lost to me, but Christian laughed heartily.

  A wide grin cracked his handsome face.

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  I felt terrible about suggesting this date. I was a voyeur to Jennesy’s budding romance with Christian, especially since Tony didn’t even want to be here. He tensed when people approached. After several failed starts at conversation, I gave up and eavesdropped on Christian.

  “
Four brothers. One girl,” explained Christian, digging into his Pad Thai. “I’m the oldest. I started working at fourteen to help provide.”

  “Fourteen? Wow.”

  “Yeah.” His chest expanded in a gigantic sigh. “Never finished high school.”

  “I did, but I dropped out of college. And not to help out the family. I was naughty. Got pregnant out of wedlock.”

  “Where is the dad, if that’s not too private?”

  “He died before Ben was born. His handle was Crash.”

  The name strangled me. Fuck—I’d never told her about the circumstances involving Crash and Tony. I grimaced at Jennesy, and she stared at me, head-cocked, unaware she’d crossed the line.

  Christian choked on his beer. Tony’s attention snapped to Jennesy as though yanked by an invisible wire.

  “Your boy’s father is Crash?”

  “Yeah. So?” Jennesy spooned her noodles as Christian shot Tony a ferocious stare. “We had a brief fling.”

  Astonishment touched Tony’s face, and then he bristled. “You hooked up with that scumbag?”

  I sank my nails into his thigh.

  Christian growled a warning.

  Tony ignored us, eye-fucking Jennesy.

  Her brow was high and rounded as she returned his glare. “Not that it’s any of your business, but he seemed like a decent guy. It’s not like the club has a lot of variety.”

  “I’ll say.”

  I grabbed Tony’s collar. “Enough.”

  He ripped away from my touch before addressing Jennesy in a deadpan. “I apologize. I’m still raw from being kidnapped and tortured by your baby daddy. ’Scuse me.”

  He stood, bumping into the table. Drinks wobbled in his wake. Christian steadied his bottle, his cold eyes following Tony.

  I was mortified. “Sorry, Jennesy. I should’ve warned you.”

  Jennesy swallowed, nodding.

  I felt bad about leaving her, but Christian had already wrapped his arm around her. He murmured something that made her lean her head onto his shoulder and smile.

  I followed Tony to the men’s bathroom. I slipped behind him and locked the door. Tony leaned over the sink, splashing his face. The water ran from the faucet but he didn’t seem to notice. He stared into the mirror.