Never Land

by Kailin Gow

  My mouth fell open. “You made a sex tape of me?”

  “Like you wouldn't do the same,” he scoffed. “You and the rest of the band tried to fuck me over. To get rid of me to make way for the sainted Danny Blue. I just wanted protection – just to make sure that you'd never turn your backs on me again...” He laughed.

  “You're bluffing.”

  But Geoff didn't look like he was in much of a state to bluff. “I watched it every night while healing from my wounds. Maybe you'd call it obsession. I just call it justice. And I bet you wouldn't want that posted on TMZ for Daddy to see.”

  My jaw dropped. This was insane – even coming from Geoff.

  “No, Geoff – you can't...”

  “Sure I can.” He pulled out his cell phone. “It's on here – not just on here, of course. I made copies. But one click of the button and it's leaked to every single gossip site out there.”

  “Geoff, you can't be serious.”

  “Probably good for the band. You'd sell more records. Of course, you'd also get sick weirdos like me jacking off to you naked – but that's not my problem, is it?” he laughed.

  “Geoff, please....”

  “Begging, are we?” He looked amused. “You don't have to beg. You can have this tape back anytime you want. You know what you have to do...”

  “What?” My heart was beating faster than a hummingbird's wings.

  “Give me the reality. Better than the fantasy, I'll bet.”

  “Geoff, no...”

  “What? You have other plans? How do you think Danny would react to seeing a tape of you on every laptop in the country?”

  “You're a scumbag,” I spat, my fear tempered by rage. “I knew we shouldn't have asked you back. Danny...”

  “Danny, huh?” he growled. “Always Danny, isn't it, with you? Danny this, Danny that. Danny took my rightful place as head of the band. Took my place in your bed. You rejecting me over and over again just made me want you more. Then when I found out you held out for him, the guy who took my place as lead guitarist, it was the biggest blow. You thought you could screw me over for your precious Danny. But guess what, beautiful? I'm here – he's not. And you're mine now, not his...”

  And then he lunged forward – a single, terrifying gesture. Before I could even scream, his hand was over my mouth. His enormous, hulking frame overpowering mine in a single instant. “Don't scream, Neve. Don't want to attract the wrong kind of attention.”

  “Geoff, stop it right now...”

  But I was too late. He was too far gone. As effortlessly as if I were as light as a feather, he yanked my wrists and pulled me with him out the back door into the alleyway.

  “Geoff, let me go!”

  “You're coming with me, gorgeous...” His grin smelled of vomit.

  I calculated my risks. Better scream than God knows what else. But he clapped a hand over my mouth and put a coat over my head. His body overpowered my own. I tried to struggle, to kick, to punch, to bite, but there was nothing I could do.

  I could feel him dragging me forward, hear the tires of a car screeching to a halt.

  “Grosvenor Hotel,” he said. “And step on it.”

  And off we went, whirling into the night.

  Chapter 2

  We sped through the streets of London. I was paralyzed by shock, fear – panic. Even at his lowest, at his sleaziest, Geoff had always been a friend to me, someone that I could, if not trust, nevertheless assume was never a threat to me. But that was the old Geoff. The Geoff I had known before the drugs, before the alcohol, before the hard living that had fried his brain. The Geoff that sat next to me in the cab, leering with a lascivious grin, pinching my inner thigh so hard that my skin turned black and blue, was a stranger to me. Drugs, alcohol, fast-living had turned him into someone else. My heart was pounding fast. Already we had left behind the O2 arena – already we were in a part of London I didn't recognize. I wanted to get out, to scream, to run, but something held me back. The tape that Geoff was talking about – was he bluffing? Did he really have a sex tape of me installed in my dorm room? My heart plummeted as I imagined that tape going viral, spread on every single video streaming platform between here and Tasmania. Imagined my father seeing it, my mother – imagined Danny watching it, his eyes full of pain and rage, silently judging me...

  “You're one sick bastard, Geoff,” I muttered.

  “Maybe,” Geoff looked sickly smug. “But I intend to get something out of this. You can't replace me without paying the price. I thought you were all my friends – but I was wrong. You're just out for yourselves, every last one of you. And I'm out for myself, too. Besides, I now know you weren’t saving yourself. You’re a slut like the others, like those girls who lined up after our performances just to have one night with a rock star, easy and ready to give it up to every last...”

  I couldn't control my blinding anger. I'd wanted to stay cool, collected, in control. But in the moment I couldn't resist the urge to smack him – hard. My palm collided with the flat of his cheek, and the sharp stinging sound we made filled me with perverse pleasure.

  “Everything all right back there, miss?” The cabbie turned around, worried.

  “Everything's fine,” Geoff said quickly. “She just likes playing a little rough, don't you, Never?” He grabbed my wrists tightly and whispered into my ear. “Unless you want that video uploaded to YouTube in ten seconds flat, I suggest you stay put.”

  I considered quickly. If I screamed and made a fuss now, the cabbie would likely get Geoff off me – but not before Geoff hit “send” on his cell phone and uploaded that video to the Internet. If we were heading back to Geoff's hotel – I'd be risking assault or worse. But I'd also be that much closer to his laptop – and to a team of security staff.

  I had to think fast. “I'll be quiet,” I said. “I'll do whatever you want, okay? Only one condition...”

  “What?” Geoff's mouth widened as his perceived victory spread slowly, dully, across his face.

  “I don't want to stay in the Grosvenor. It's stuffy and old-fashion. If we're going to do it, I want to do it somewhere...sexy.” My own words repulsed me.

  “Where do you want to go then, huh?” He took out his wallet, displaying a platinum credit card. “Anywhere you want, babe.”

  “The Mayfair Grand,” I said quickly. The Mayfair Grand Blue. One of Danny's father’s hotels. Somewhere Danny would have access – somewhere he could get to us in time.

  “The Mayfair Grand?” Geoff squeezed my thigh. “Girl has expensive tastes.”

  I wanted to throw up, but I kept my face calm.

  “I'm cold,” I said. “Give me your coat – I want to use it as a blanket.”

  “Trying to get my clothes off, huh? It's a shame to cover up those gorgeous legs of yours...” He moved his fingers further up my thigh, but relented and handed me his coat.

  Perfect.

  I moved my cell phone under the coat, hidden from view, and started typing, hoping I'd be able to use the touch pad without seeing. Texting Danny, Steve, everyone in my contacts list. Emergency. MgrandBlue. Help me.

  Luckily, Geoff was too drunk to notice me sliding my cell phone back into my tiny purse. When we reached our destination, he threw a hundred-pound note at the cabbie and dragged me into the lobby. The moments passed by in a blur as he threw down his credit card at reception and dragged me into an elevator, up towards the penthouse suite...

  “Sit on the bed,” he grunted.

  I followed orders, watching him warily. Now I just had to bide my time – hoping Danny had made it to Heathrow by now, that he had gotten my message. Geoff grinned at me. Instinctively, against myself, I felt a pang. Geoff had once been one of my dearest friends. I'd loved him once, the way I had loved Luc and Kyle and Steve. Never imagining that beneath that handsome exterior there lay demons. He'd been more gorgeous once, but his looks were ravaged by the effects of his hard living. Dark circles under his eyes. And that look of cruelty in his eyes that made me wonder if ther
e was anything human in him any longer. Anything at all.

  “Come on, Neve, take off your clothes or I’ll take it off for you. I’ve only been wanting this since high school, you know. But you were off-limits, the legendary Keith Knight’s daughter - pretty, popular without even trying, and always surrounded by guys, who you thought were friends. You were so into the music, so deep into the art, that you never notice how the guys all thought you were the hottest girl in school. A girl as hot as you, how can any guy just want to just be friends? We’ve all joined your band, hoping to get closer to you. Now you’re all mine. Here.” He shuddered, running his finger up and down my legs while I resisted kicking him. The tape. “But I haven't got all night.”

  “First, the video,” I said, my voice shaking. “How do I know you're not bluffing – that you've even got one?”

  “The video, huh?” Geoff laughed. “You want to see it? I've got it – tons of copies. I jerk off to it every single night – did you know that?”

  I wanted to vomit. “You're crazy.”

  “I'm not crazy,” Geoff said. “Just lucky. Lucky I got a glimpse of that nice, round ass. I always knew Keith Knight's daughter would have his full lips – and your mother's smoking body. I jacked off to loads of girls. Posters, images. Videos. But you I just needed to imagine. I remember seeing you naked and wet in the showers at camp when we were sixteen – and that one little slice of you was all I needed to imagine. But you'd never give me a chance, would you? Keith Knight's daughter was too good for any boy? Rock royalty, is that what you think you are? Untouchable? Unapproachable?”

  “What the hell are you talking about, Geoff?” Deep down, I wanted to reason with him, to talk him down. To shake him out of this haze. “We're friends. We've always been friends. I never thought I was too good for you or anyone of my friends.”

  “I remember before I met you. I was a nobody. A geek. Like Steve. But being around you – it made all the guys notice. Girls, too. Thinking I was a somebody because I was hanging with Keith Knight's beautiful daughter. And then you think you can just drop me the second I get injured...”

  “It wasn't just the injury, Geoff. It was the drugs...”

  “Like your daddy dearest never did any?” he scoffed.

  “Do you really want it like this, Geoff?” I asked, softly. “Me – not wanting you? Doing it because I have to?” Just reason with him, Neve. Talk him down. I reached over and brushed his cheek, trying to stifle the bile. “How are we supposed to work together after this? Don't you care about the band? Do you really want this?” His face softened for a moment and then he grew angry.

  “This is exactly how I want this,” he spat. “You finally forced off your high horse. Finally realizing that you're no better than a groupie slut. Realizing you're not some untouchable princess who can do whatever she wants just because of Daddy's money.” His words stung. “This is exactly how I've fantasized about having you for so long.” He grabbed my wrist. “On your back. Unable to resist. I watched you sing tonight, Neve. I wanted you so badly. I watched how your full lips nearly wrapped around the microphone and imagined your lips on me. I don't even have to touch you to get hard...”

  “We're friends, Geoff.” My voice was shaking. I knew now that what I was saying was untrue, had never been true. Whatever was wrong with Geoff, it had gone deep. Too deep. I couldn't save him. When did he stopped being friends and started objectifying me?

  “And you think Kyle and Luc are your friends, too? Please, you're kidding yourself. They're hard as fuck over you, too – and you think by pretending to ignore it you can just lead them around like puppies, wrap them around your little finger. But I know you. Jessica Botano's daughter. Same soft silky hair. Same large tits. Same luscious ass.”

  “Geoff, stop it, now!”

  “I know what you look like under those skimpy clothes you wear.” He shoved his phone in front of my face. “I know who you are.” He started playing a video. “This is just the beginning.”

  My mouth dropped open. I recognized the clip immediately. It was the morning I'd just come back from Danny's hotel room– I recognized the earrings. Recognized the way I'd taken off my bathrobe, my hair sopping wet from the shower, and looked at my naked body in the mirror as if for the first time. Looking at my body for the first time as an instrument, something capable of receiving and giving pleasure. Touching myself between my legs, closing my eyes in rapt ecstasy as I relived Danny's hands and tongue there. The most intimate, the most private moment in my life – captured on camera for Geoff to jerk off to. My facial expressions – at the moment expressions of pleasure – looked to me now ugly and ridiculous, shameful.

  My cheeks burned with rage. “How dare you?” I said. “How fucking dare you?”

  Geoff's hand was at his groin, softly rubbing, and his pants were unzipped. I wanted to be sick. And I knew then that no matter what Geoff did to me, no matter whom he showed the video to, I didn't care. There was no way I was going to spend another second in this room, another second with him. I grabbed the phone from his hand and threw it across the room, watching in sick delight as it shattered into hundreds of pieces on the floor.

  “Careful, Neve. I told you I had copies.”

  “Erase them!” My voice was frenetic with rage. “All of them. Or I swear I'll rip out your balls and stuff them down your throat so far you're shitting them out. My father will make sure you never work again – make sure you can never use your cock again, you sick fuck...” I scoffed. “Go on, send that video. Send it to TMZ. And then when my family and I press charges, see how you like it in jail...”

  “Neve...”

  At that moment, the door flew open, and my whole body flooded with relief. Danny Blue was standing in the doorway, along with five of the burliest security guards I'd ever seen. He’d never looked more handsome and sexier than at that moment.

  “Neve, thank God!” His voice was so soft, so tender, so loving, that tears filled my eyes.

  The words started flowing out, all at once. “He got video of me – naked clips. Bugged my dorm room. Tried to blackmail...” But my voice failed me. As the security guys seized hold of Geoff, pinning him down, everything began to spin around me.

  Then everything went black.

  Chapter 3

  When I came to, I was resting in Danny's arms. He was holding me close… tenderly – almost gingerly, the way you would hold a baby bird. His fingers lightly stroked my hair. “Baby,” he whispered. “Baby, what happened?”

  “It was Geoff...” I spluttered. “He set up a hidden camera in the dorms before I moved to the apartment – to take footage of me. Of us. He threatened to send it to the tabloids unless I slept with him.” My voice shook. “I thought if I could buy time – but Danny! You can't let him near his computer...”

  “There's no danger of that,” Danny said. “He tried to fight me. Fortunately, I've been trained in self-defense, and he was in no condition to fight. Knocked him out cold with a single punch. He's still unconscious. I'll have my dad's security check out his computer, see what we can find.” His voice was professional, almost cold around the security he brought. When they left, and we were alone then the emotion broke in, all at once. “That scumbag!” he exclaimed. “That absolute prick. He had no right – to violate you like that...”

  “If you hadn't come...” I shuddered. “He wanted to rape me – he said so himself.” My whole mouth tasted like vomit. “I can't work with him anymore – I won't!”

  “We can call the police – press charges...”

  I shook my head. “And get negative publicity for the band right after our first big show?” I sighed. “No, no – just get him away from me. For good. That's all I want. To forget.”

  Danny held me tighter. “I'm so sorry, babe,” he whispered. “If I hadn't stepped down, if I hadn't left the band, this never would have happened. I should have stayed by you.”

  I reached up and brought his face down to mine, kissing him softly. “Don't worry,” I said. “It
's not your fault. We should have found someone new – shouldn't have asked him back...” I traced my fingers along his cheeks. “I missed you, Danny. It's been weeks.”

  “I know,” he groaned. “I'm so sorry for what happened, Neve...”

  “He thought I'd be with him. After everything he did. He thought he could force me to have sex with him – that I'd just let him have his way with me, after everything...”

  “My men searched him after we knocked him out,” said Danny. “That fellow has more drugs on his person than your average dealer in Camden. Heroin, cocaine, ketamine. He wasn't himself – that's for sure. That man you saw tonight wasn't your friend. He wasn't the Geoff you knew.”

  “He was a monster,” I said.

  “Or a very, very sick man,” he replied. “It's why I don't do drugs,” he said. “I know the harm it can do...” I knew he was thinking of Peyton, of his old life, and my heart sank.

  “I got us another room,” Danny said softly, leading me lightly by the hand out of the room. “We don't have to do anything, not after what you've been through. Don't worry. We can go to sleep, side by side. I'll be holding you. That’s what I want to do, just hold you safely against my chest.” He used his key card and swiped us into a gorgeous suite, floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the London Eye.

  “Danny...” I tried to control my voice. I was shaken, still in shocked at what could’ve happened with Geoff. “What happened with Geoff. It made me feel dirty, filthy. Like I'd lost control.” I looked up at him. “But with you – I feel in control. All the time. Even when you make me scream...or moan. I feel safe. I want to feel safe again, right now. With you.” I gulped. “I want you to make me feel safe having sex with a man again and not disgust.”

  He looked up at me, his eyes shining with longing. “Are you sure, Neve?” He brought his finger up to my chin so I would look him straight in the eye. “We don’t have to, and I’m fine with just holding you all night.”