“Brooke, Tiff and I are coming too. Gonna give the lovebirds some time alone.” He nods over at me. I feel the heat burn my cheeks.
“Well, hurry up,” she says and turns on her heel, leaving the room.
“Have fun,” Jax sings out at me, following Brooke out of the room.
This was all prearranged; Ashton told me this morning over breakfast. It doesn’t mean we are going to have sex, even though I really want to.
“Bye, Mommy,” Sadie jumps into my arms, kissing my cheek.
“Be sure to wear your hat,” I tell her as she runs out the door.
The cabin is quiet for a moment, and it’s almost scary. I’m startled when Ashton runs his finger over the back of my neck.
He chuckles. “Jumpy?”
“A little.”
“Grab your coat. We’re going to take a walk.”
I nod, slip on my boots, and put on my jacket. Even though our hands are covered with gloves, we hold hands. Ashton guides us to the other side of the property to a small trail. The snow crunches beneath our feet.
“Are you ready for a week-long road game trip?” I ask him.
“Yes and no. I love road games, but I hate them at the same time.” He chuckles as we continue up the trail.
“Do you ever get tired of traveling? I mean, you’re on a plane or a bus more than anything, right?”
“Yeah, but I enjoy it.” He stops walking. “I love traveling, even if I spend more time getting there than at the place itself. I only ever get tired of it when I haven’t seen Reed in a few days.”
“I can understand that.” I nod.
We’re almost to the top of the hill. We haven’t said anything more. I look at the bare trees, and the stunning, almost blinding, white snow.
Be crazy.
Tiff’s words strike me at that moment, making me realize that Ashton is here. He’s here with me. He isn’t running away. He’s not making fun of my insane behavior. He’s here, and he does treat Sadie like his own.
“I know that this might be a little forward,” I blurt out. “But Sadie’s seventh birthday is coming up soon. I never do anything big for her, but the family will all be there. I was hoping, maybe, if you’re in town, you would like to come too?” I shrug, trying to act like it isn’t a big deal.
He laughs, turning to me. “It’s forward to ask me to a little girl’s birthday party?” he teases me. “I’ll be there.”
“Well, her birthday is about a month away still, and I know that we’re going slow, but,” I can’t believe I’m about to say this, “if we’re still together than, I would like to tell Sadie.”
He smiles. “So, basically, you want me there as a birthday present for her?”
I slap his shoulder, making him laugh harder. “No. I just mean we tell her around that time.” I loop my arm with his. “I really think it’s awesome how you and Brooke wait until you’re serious with someone before telling Reed. I want to be sure too. She’s young, and her feelings will always come first for me. I don’t want to bring a guy into her life and then rip him away.”
“That’s the trouble, isn’t it? Our kids, and even us, getting attached and then something happening and we’re not around anymore. I don’t know how anyone could walk away from a child, even if it’s not theirs.”
I nod, understanding what he means. “I can’t imagine either. I need to thank you, for going slow, I mean. I don’t think that many guys in their twenties would give a basket case like me a chance.”
“Why do you think that, Lex? Explain that to me.” He steps back, but holds my hips.
“Ashton.” I need to tell him. If I want this, or even move on a little, I need to say it. “I was a widow at twenty-three. Even though I have my parents and Tiff, I’ve pretty much raised Sadie on my own. I’ve barely dated or even conversed with the opposite sex in almost seven years. And here you stand, being, you know, amazing. You’re a great dad, a caring friend, and an arrogant jerk on the ice. Now, you’re going slow with me.” I step closer to him. “And I can’t think of a better person to be in my life. Of course, it helps that Jax Godwin is your best friend.”
“You feel older than you really are.” He nods, ignoring my Jax comment. “Makes sense, I guess, except that you are missing one key fact. All of those things have made you into a wonderful mom who is capable of being independent at the same time. I wasn’t always this way, you know. Amazing and great and caring, as you say. I had to grow up quick. I was twenty when Reed was born, so I sort of get what you mean. Look more at where you are now than at everything that happened to get you here. You can look at everything you have now and still remember what you lost.”
“Well, I think the fresh air has made you wiser. But, thank you. I know you’re right. I can’t promise that I might not flip out again, but I want to try. And I want to try with you.” I softly kiss his lips.
When he pulls away, his sexy grin is there. “Try all you want with me, or whatever you want,” he teases. “I’m right here, and I can promise I always will be.”
“Let’s go back to the cabin.” I can see the fog from my breath as it speeds up. “I want to spend some time alone with you.”
We both run back up to the cabin, knowing that everyone will be back soon. Ashton bursts through the door, and we go right for my room. He shuts the door, and we pull off our jackets, gloves, and boots. Ashton’s lips are on mine, and he pushes me to the bed, laying me on my back.
“Wait.” I put my hand on his chest, making him stand.
Be crazy.
I take off my sweater. Ashton’s mouth drops, and I tug on his sweatshirt. It’s my turn to stare at his body. There aren’t clear indentations of his abs, like on a model, but I can see slight lines. His pants hang low on his hips, showing deep v’s.
I squeeze his biceps and tug him back to me. I position myself in the middle of the large bed, and he starts kissing my stomach, up to my neck where he nips me, and finally to my lips. I shut down my brain, letting my emotions and sexual drive take over. I dig my nails into his neck, and he bites my bottom lip. My moan is low, and our tongues dance.
Ashton quickly unbuttons my jeans and pulls down my zipper. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” I pant, opening my legs.
He toys with the top of my thong before sliding it down. He watches my reaction when he moves the thin material away from me. When he brushes my naked skin, I jerk, but he doesn’t stop. He inserts a finger. My body reacts with a loud moan, and my back arches. I hadn’t felt anyone touch me so lovingly in a very long time. He pulls out before adding another finger and pushing back into me.
“Ashton,” I pant his name. His thumb circles my clit, and my body shakes with pleasure.
His eyes are still on mine, in a caring, loving look. I drag my nails down his chest, and do my best to unbuckle his belt and pants. He closes his eyes and lays his head in the crook of my neck when I grab him. Ashton isn’t so big that I can’t hold him firmly in my hand, but he’s long, and I do my best to stroke his full length.
Our speeds match each other, and I feel the tension in the pit of my soul building up as Ashton pushes into me harder. We pant each other’s names, and soon I feel myself let go. I keep working Ashton, and after a few more times, I feel him too.
“What happened to going slow?” he breathes heavily into my ear.
“We didn’t have sex, did we?” I tease him.
It won’t be too long before everyone comes back, so we quickly clean up. As I change into a pair of yoga pants, Ashton comes up behind me, kissing the back of my neck. I’m so tempted to throw him back on the bed, but we hear the front door, and Reed laughing. We straighten ourselves, and go downstairs.
“Mommy.” Sadie jumps into my arms.
“Did you have fun?”
“Yes. Mr. Nate bought us all a lot of ice cream.”
“Did you thank him?”
“Yes, and I behaved the whole time,” she says proudly.
“Well, I’m glad.�
� Sadie jumps back down, and she and Reed head to the living room to play. I go into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water when Brooke and Tiff corner me.
“You had jeans on when we left,” Tiff points to my pants.
“Are you becoming a detective?” I take a drink.
“No, but you look a little relaxed.”
Brooke gasps. “Did you?” Her face lights up.
“No,” I whisper.
“But something happened.” Tiff waves her finger in my face. “I know that look.”
“You don’t know any look.” I push her hand away.
“I’m so happy for you.” Brooke hugs my neck.
“Um, thanks.” What do you say when the mother of the child of the guy you want to sleep with is happy that you’re practically having sex?”
Oh, my life is so strange.
Chapter Eighteen
Ashton
“Okay, little man, catch me up on what I’ve missed.” We’re sitting at the bar in my kitchen, eating pizza. Things have seemed to be even more hectic than usual between my schedule and his lately, so I haven’t talked to him but once or twice in the last week.
Reed shrugs. “School, homework, hanging out with Sadie.” He takes a bite and then adds, “Nate came over for dinner one night.”
“He did? Y’all have fun?”
“Yeah.” Reed laughs. “We got in trouble because we were throwing a baseball inside. Mom thought we would break something.” He rolls his eyes. “He told me he could help me with my batting once it gets warmer.”
I try not to get jealous of Nate helping him with something. “That sounds like fun. He sounds cool.”
He nods. “I think so. He’s a little weird sometimes, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know how Mom’s jokes are never funny?” I nod. “He always laughs with her. It’s weird because it’s not that funny.” Reed genuinely looks confused as to how Nate could find Brooke’s jokes funny.
“Well, your mom finds them funny, so maybe they are both a little weird.”
Reed laughs. We eat another slice before going to play games. Days like this are when I realize how much I hate the traveling part of my job. I missed my little man. On the bright side, we have nights like this where we hang out, laugh, and spend time together. I love when it’s only him and me, but I’m excited about tomorrow too, when Lexie and Sadie are coming over for the kids’ playdate.
~
“Dad,” Reed calls out. “Sadie and Ms. Lexie are here.”
“What did I tell you about answering the door?” I say as I round the corner to see them walking in and shrugging out of their coats.
“Sorry. I knew it was them, though. I heard Sadie.”
“Next time, wait for me, okay?” The last thing I need is for him to open the door to random people.
“Okay. C’mon, Sadie,” he takes her hand, “all the toys are in my room.”
They take off running down the hall and I finally look at Lexie. “Hey, it’s good to see you.” I take in her outfit, raking my eyes over her body twice. “Really good.”
She giggles and slaps my shoulder. “You better stop.”
“All right. Want something to drink?”
Lex nods, so we make our way into the kitchen.
“I watched all the road games. You’ve forced me to purchase the NHL Center Ice, so I don’t miss any games.”
I laugh. “You should have told me. I would have let you come watch them here. You keep watching my games, I’m going to think you have my jersey hidden in your closet.” As I hand her a glass of tea, she blushes and avoids looking at me. “Do you own my jersey? Should I go ask Sadie?”
“I plead the fifth. I did hear through the grapevine that you might be signing with that new, hot clothing line, LSMP?” She changes the subject effortlessly, but she’s not getting away with it that easily.
Leaning over to whisper in her ear, I say, “I want to see you in my jersey, by the way.” My head is full of how she would look wearing that and nothing else. I need to think of something else and fast, so I stand upright and add, “Where did you hear that?”
“Brooke and I were talking about it. Did you sign the deal?”
I shake my head. Brooke, of course. “She talks too much. No, I didn’t sign anything.”
“Oh, well, that kind of sucks. Those were the clothes Carson Lee was in, and I couldn’t imagine you in any of those outfits. I figure they would put you in more business suits, and not so naked.”
My head tilts as I watch her facial expression carefully. “Is that your way of saying that I look bad naked? And, I had good reasons for not signing, for the record.” It had nothing to do with the opportunity and everything to do with Reed. I’m not adding anything else to my plate that could take up even more of my time. My jobs are to be his father and play hockey. Anything else is unnecessary.
Lexie tries to hide a grin. “You look very good without clothes. I mean, from what I’ve seen. So,” she continues, “what are the plans for today?”
“Hanging out here. Reed picked out a few movies and a bunch of candy and popcorn to eat. That sound okay?”
“Sounds great, as long as there is no Frozen. If I hear any of those songs, I may stab my ears. Sadie played it all day yesterday,” she complains.
“Well…he did pick it up because he said Sadie loved it, but there are a couple others too. We can hide it and hope Reed doesn’t mention it?”
She shakes her head. “Oh, these kids. At least Reed was thinking of her. That’s sweet of him.” I have to admit that even I’m surprised by how often he wants to get something because he knows that Sadie likes it. “Oh, I went to Sadie’s parent-teacher conference and do you know what she said?”
“That she’s the most well-behaved kid ever?” I guess.
“Ha! She almost shoved a kid because they were dissing you. So, I don’t think she’ll be watching any more hockey games for a little bit.”
“I don’t believe you. Sweet little Sadie?” I can’t see her being mean to anyone.
“Yes,” Lexie confirms, “but I sat her down and we talked about not using violence when someone doesn’t like the Bears. She seems to understand.”
“Maybe you should have told her that it’s not nice to be mean to people who like, or play for, the Bears.” I give her a pointed look.
“I’m not mean to you. I just like Vegas better.” She shrugs.
“You aren’t mean to me now, you were before. But the past is the past and I forgive you.” I grin, making her roll her eyes. “We should probably go check on them. Things are too quiet.”
“Wait one second.” Lexie peers down the hall, confusing me until she smiles and briefly kisses me. “Now, we can go.”
She shouldn’t have kissed me because now I want more. “Are you sure? They are good kids, I’m sure everything is fine.”
Lex laughs and starts pushing me down the hallway. We peek into Reed’s room, but it’s empty. Where are they? It’s then that I can hear frantic hushed talking from my bedroom. I push open the door to see them hovering over my replica of the Selke trophy I won last season, which is now on the floor.
“What are you two doing in here?” I ask in my best parent voice.
They turn with horror at being caught, and Reed starts to rapidly explain. “I just wanted to show her, Dad. We didn’t mean to knock it over.” His voice rises with his panic and he suddenly points at Sadie and blurts, “She did it!”
“I did not!” Sadie protests. “You picked it up!”
“Sadie Tiffany Allen, you best tell the truth, young lady,” Lexie orders.
“Reed,” I start, knowing Sadie couldn’t have reached it by herself.
He drops his head, looking down at his feet. “I helped her. I got down like a human table and she stood on my back, but she lost her balance.”
“Sadie, I can’t believe you. You know better,” Lexie chides.
“Reed told me it was okay, Mommy,” she says.
/>
“Reed should have got me.” I give him a pointed look. “You know I don’t mind if you show her, but if you can’t reach something, you go get someone. What if one of you had gotten hurt? And you don’t lie either. That gets you in more trouble, not less.”
“Sadie, are you listening to Mr. Ashton?”
“Yes, Mommy.” She nods.
Reed looks to his best friend apologetically. “I’m sorry I blamed it on you, Sadie. Sorry I knocked your trophy down, Dad.”
I glance at Lex and then face the kids. “You know we don’t lie in this house, so your punishment is that no one gets to watch Frozen or sing any of the songs for a while. Don’t you think so, Lexie?”
She tries to hide her smile as she nods and adds, “Even at Brooke’s too. Nowhere. For a month.”
Sadie frowns. “Can we still watch a movie today, though? Reed said you had popcorn and candy, Mr. Ashton.”
“I think we can still do that. C’mon then.”
I pick up the trophy, not commenting on how part of it bent a little when it hit the floor. We return to the kitchen and Reed and Sadie pick out a movie while I set all the candy on the counter and Lexie makes the popcorn. It takes fifteen minutes for each of them to select one candy.
When we make it to the living room, I tell Reed to show Sadie where all the extra pillows and blankets are, so we can fix a makeshift campout on the floor for them. Lexie helps me get them situated before we take a seat on the couch behind them. I throw a blanket over us and reach over to hold Lexie’s hand under it. She smiles and interlocks our fingers. The previews seem to be taking forever, the current one featuring a talking baby in an animated movie, releasing soon.
Sadie looks back at Lexie and suddenly asks, “Mommy, can I have a brother? A girl at school said her mommy is giving her a brother, and I want one too.”
Lexie glances at me, like I could help her out, but she’s on her own. “Um, I don’t know,” she begins carefully. “I need to a daddy to help me have a baby, like I had your daddy to help me have you.”
She doesn’t respond right away, which worries Lexie, judging by her anxious sneaky looks to me.
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