“Hey, are you ready to go?”
“Yep.” Sadie turns to me. “Bye, Mommy.” She hugs my legs before taking Tiff’s hand.
My phone rings again, and without thinking, I answer it. “Hello?”
“What’s going on, Lexie? Talk to me.”
“Hey, Ashton. Um, there’s nothing to talk about. I think I should have thought things out more before we got too serious.”
“Thought what out more? That you’d rather you and even Sadie be all by yourselves?”
“I made a mistake. I’m sorry. I really am. This is my fault.”
“This is your mistake. I’m not supposed to let you walk away, Lex.”
“I know that I said that, but I didn’t mean it.” It’s a lie.
The silence is loud around with us. “You honestly don’t want this anymore? At all? Not even one little bit?”
“Ashton, you deserve someone that doesn’t come with baggage like mine. I’ve been doing fine on my own for the last seven years. This was a great fling, but you need to find someone else.”
“I…fling?” He stammers on the word. “I’m in love with you, Lex…but if this was all a fling, it was me who made the mistake for wanting you to begin with.”
The tears fall when he hangs up the phone.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ashton
My initial thought was “What the hell is wrong with this woman?” And it wasn’t but a minute or so later that she reached through the phone and yanked my heart out of my chest. I’m glad I have a little time before practice. I need to recoup. Picking my phone back up, I dial Brooke.
“Hello?”
“What are you doing?”
“Nate just got here, why? Everything okay?” she questions with concern.
“No. I’m sick of hearing Nate’s name, for one. I can’t talk to you or Reed without hearing about him.” I run a hand over my face, knowing that isn’t an issue. “Sorry. Do you think Nate would sit with Reed for a bit? I need to talk to someone.”
Brooke is quiet before it dawns on her. “Oh no,” she breathes softly. “I’m sorry, Ash -”
“Are you coming or not?” I interrupt.
“Yeah, give me a few.”
She hangs up without another word. My knee bounces as I wait for her. I move from the couch to the kitchen and back to the couch again. Brooke doesn’t bother knocking the door, she just storms in.
“Tell me what happened.” She sits next to me on the couch, turning to angle towards me.
“Apparently, I’m a fling.” I can’t get the fucking word out of my head.
After recounting the conversation for Brooke to analyze, she shakes her head. “I don’t believe her.”
“I do.” She seemed so sure of her words and when I asked her if she was sure, she said yes.
Brooke rolls her eyes. “Well, don’t. You have to keep trying, Ash. Maybe give her a little time to miss you, to realize that she doesn’t really feel that way and that convincing herself is stupid, and then go swoop in and take her back. Why the hell not?” she finishes with frustration. I was shaking my head the entire time.
“You didn’t hear her, Brooke. She meant every word.”
“Then she’s a damn good liar.”
I clench my jaw. Brooke isn’t being as helpful as I wanted, but I don’t think I would have been satisfied even if she was. My phone rings, and my heart beats faster, thinking that it might be Lexie, but it’s a number I don’t recognize.
“Hello?”
“Dad, can -”
“Reed?” Brooke sits up to try and listen. “Is this Nate’s phone?”
“Yeah, he let me use it because I wanted to call you.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yep. Could we have tickets for the game tonight? I want to take Nate to see you play,” he says, like he could actually take Nate somewhere.
“Hold on a second, okay?”
“Okay.”
Placing a hand over the speaker, I explain to Brooke, “He wants y’all to go to the game tonight. What do you want me to tell him?”
“Let me talk to him.”
I hand her the phone and listen as she asks to speak to Nate, who apparently doesn’t mind going to a hockey game so Reed can take him to watch me play. Brooke hangs up and looks at me.
“I guess we’re going to the game tonight.”
“I’ll work out some tickets for you.”
She waves me away. “We’ll buy some. Do you want me to try and talk to her?”
“No,” I tell her firmly. “This is what she wants. The only person who can change Lexie’s mind is Lexie. If she wants to be alone, then let her.”
~
Rarely am I sent to the penalty box for fighting, yet here I am. We’re playing the Alabama Blacksmiths and I didn’t think twice to throw down the gloves. The more I think about Lexie and our fling, and I can’t think about anything else, the angrier I get. What better way to vent my anger than in hockey?
Except little penalties add up for opportunities and they cash in. We walk away with an 0-4 loss. One of the guys tries to talk to me, but I shake it off as a bad night. Coach eyes me, but doesn’t say anything. We all have bad games at some point and I was past due for one. On the ride home, I notice my phone blinking with a voicemail.
Reed’s voice greets me on the other end. “Hey, Dad. Sorry you had a bad game and lost. The Blacksmiths have been doing well this season, but so have you. You’ll get them next time. I told Nate that we could come back for another one, but he said he still had fun. When are we going to spend the day together like you promised?” I hear Brooke in the background and then, “Well, Mom says it’s time for bed, so I love you. Bye.”
My shoulders sag at his words, and I drive straight to Brooke’s. I can’t say I’m not a little pissed when Nate answers the door. He’s spending the night with Reed here? Where was that conversation?
“Where’s Brooke?” I ask tersely.
“Right here,” she answers, coming up from behind him. “What are you doing here, Ashton?”
“What’s he still doing here?”
She narrows her eyes at me. “We’re having a beer before he goes home. Now, what are you doing here?”
“Go wake Reed up. I’m taking him with me.”
“What? No. He’s probably asleep already, and I’m not waking him up so you can -”
“I just want my son, Brooke. I was going to come get him tomorrow anyway.” I glance at Nate and then back to her. “Not trying to pick a fight with you, okay? Are you going to go get him or not?”
“No. He’s–”
“What are you doing here, Dad?”
Brooke and Nate turn to see him in his pjs, rubbing his eyes, his hair all messed up.
“What are you doing up?” Brooke asks him.
“I’m thirsty.” Thank the heavens.
Before Brooke can say anything, I go, “Want to spend the night with me? Tomorrow is Do-Anything-Reed-Wants Day.”
He breaks out into a grin. “Yes! I’ll go get my shoes.”
“And your coat,” I remind him as he disappears to his room.
When Brooke faces me again, she’s pissed. She doesn’t get a chance to say anything, though, because Reed is running back with his coat half on and his shoes in his hand.
“Bye, Mom. Love you,” he says without a glance her way as he pushes through them.
“Here, I’ll carry you and you carry your shoes.” I pick him up and Brooke only has the chance to call out an ‘I love you’ back to him before we’re out the door.
“Did you get my message?”
“I did.”
“You got into a fight,” he states.
“I did.”
“It was cool.”
I laugh, feeling better and happy that I went to pick him up, even if I did piss Brooke off. She’ll get over it. Maybe Lexie was right to end things. She did okay before me and I did okay before her. She has Sadie to make her happy, and I have Reed.
As we set up a campout on the living room floor, I can’t help but think that being okay is a shitty way to live the rest of your life when it has the potential to be so much more. It’s settling before giving complete happiness a chance. However, if that’s what Lex wants, then she can have it. Someone else could come along at some point for me and who knows, they might be able to make me happier than Lexie did.
Fat chance, but who knows.
Reed can be my focus and sole purpose in life. If I keep him my only priority, then I won’t have time to think about anyone else.
Right?
Wrong.
Thoughts of Lexie hit me first thing in the morning. Reed is asleep still, but somehow, he’s lying sideways and his feet are propped on my chest. I hold his ankles together with one hand and tickle his feet with the other. That wakes him up. He starts kicking and groaning, his sleepy-state demanding I stop, but it soon gives way to him giggling.
“Dad! Stop! I mean it!”
I laugh as he screams and sits up to push my hands away. “If you would eat all your vegetables like your mom wants, then you might be strong enough to stop me.”
“I eat my veggies!” he defends, his little fingers trying to rip my fingers away as he laughs harder. “Stop it, Dad!”
“Okay, okay.” I let go of his feet and he moves so quickly, I get the air knocked out of me as he jumps on me, an elbow jabbing me right in the ribs. Damn, that actually hurt. I easily grab him and pin his arms to his side as I sit up to get a better hold on him. “That’s enough of that. I’m going to let you go and if you try to attack me again, the tickle monster is coming after you.” I quickly tickle his sides to show him I mean business.
“Okay, stop!” I do and let him go. “What’s for breakfast? I’m starving. What are we going to do today? I want ice cream.”
“I’ll see what I have. You go get dressed. Jeans and a long-sleeve shirt because it’s cold out there today.”
He nods and heads to his room. I get up to go see what I have for breakfast. My phone rings, so I go back to get that. I sigh when I see the called ID.
“Hello, Brooke,” I answer.
“Care to explain last night? What the hell was that, Ashton?” If I had to guess, I’d say that she’s still just as pissed as when I left her on her doorstep last night. “Not only did you question me about Nate spending the night with our son in the house, you made him uncomfortable, and you took Reed in the middle of it all. I don’t care if you want him to stay with you, but a phone call would have been nice, and you sure as hell didn’t need to bring Nate into it.”
“Are you done?” I ask when she takes a breath. “Look,” I continue, not waiting for an answer, “I’m sorry I was a dick. I’ll call Nate and apologize too. I wasn’t expecting him to still be there, and well, you saw the game.” Leaning my forehead against the fridge, I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. “I’m in love with Lexie, Brooke. She doesn’t want a relationship or me anymore.” A half groan, half growl erupts from deep within my chest. “I miss her so much already and it only ended yesterday.”
“Then go after her, Ashton. I don’t understand why you’re giving up on her so easily.”
“Because she’s already given up.”
“But if you love her -”
“I love her enough that if she wants to walk away and leave me, then I’m going to let her go. I can’t make Lexie love me back.”
“You can’t make her, but you can show her that she already does,” she tries.
Before I can respond, I hear Reed ask, “Dad, are you okay?”
Turning towards him, my chest tightens at the thought that he overheard me. “I’m fine, little man, why?”
“You had your head on the fridge door.”
“Oh, right. I just have a headache. Will you go find the headache pills in my bathroom for me?”
“The bottle with the picture of the brown pills?”
I nod and he goes off to get medicine for my fake headache.
“Did he hear you?” Brooke speaks up.
“I don’t think so. Let me get off here and cook breakfast. I’ll bring him home around six or seven.”
For the rest of Do-Anything-Reed-Wants Day, I wait for Reed to ask me about my phone call with Brooke, but he never does. Good. He must not have heard anything, then.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lexie
“Okay, Mommy. I’m all done.” Sadie looks over all her Hello Kitty invitations. She hand wrote every one of them on her own. I did help spell a few names, including Ashton’s.
“You did a wonderful job. I’m so proud of you.”
“Can we deliver them today?”
I smile. “Sure. Grab your coat.”
Our first stop is Mom and Dad’s house. Sadie smiles the whole time and even asks Dad if he would bring worm cookies. I shake my head, but he promises that he will. Then it’s off to Aunt Tiff’s place. Tiff has barely spoken to me since the day at the graveyard. That was almost a month ago. She looks confused when she opens the door until Sadie hands her the pink note.
“Aunt Tiff, will you come to my birthday?”
“Look at that. Did you do this all by yourself?”
Sadie giggles. “Mommy helped.”
“Well, I won’t miss it for anything in the world.” She hugs her tightly.
Tiff cuts me a look as we are getting ready to leave, but she never says a word. I miss my friend. However, I’m not going to change my mind. Sadie is my priority. Brooke’s house is next on the list. When we knock on the door, no one answers. I decide to text her.
Brooke: We’re at Ashton’s house.
Me: I’ll talk to you later then. Sadie wants to give you something.
Brooke: Come over here. It’s fine.
No, it’s not.
“Mommy, where’s Reed and Miss Brooke?”
“They’re over at Mr. Ashton’s.”
“Yes, let’s go over there. I can give them all of theirs.”
I want to scream, “no’, but I smile and nod. I have been able to avoid Ashton at all costs. We haven’t spoken, texted, and I’ve not even seen him on TV. My heart is racing when I pull into the driveway and see his large black truck. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to be around him, but I don’t have a choice at this moment.
“Come on, Mommy.” Sadie is already out of the car and running to the front porch.
I get out of the car and follow her as she knocks on the door.
“Hi, Sadie.” Reed opens the door.
“Reed, stop opening the door without me,” Ashton growls behind him.
I stop breathing when I see him. I can’t believe how good-looking he is..His hair is longer since the last time I saw him. His arms look larger, but it’s his eyes that stare at me the longest. They seem sad. The glint of happiness isn’t there anymore. His jaw is set when he narrows his eyes at me.
“Hi, Mr. Ashton.”
“Hi, Sadie. You can come in.” He cuts me another look, and I’m not sure if I should come in or not. The last time I was here, we had sex. The greatest two days of the past seven years of my life.
“Hi, Miss Brooke.” Sadie waves to Brooke, who’s sitting on the couch.
“Hi.” Her smile is bright, but I can see it seems forced.
“I want you to come to my birthday.” Sadie runs and gives them each an invitation.
“More glitter,” Reed groans when he opens it. Ashton pushes on his shoulder.
“Well, Reed and I will be there,” Brooke promises.
“What about you, Mr. Ashton?” Sadie’s eyes are wide, hoping that he will be.
“Um,” he clears his throat. He bends down to her level. “I’ll have to check my schedule, but I promise I’ll get you an awesome gift.”
Reed bumps Sadie’s shoulder. “Told you.”
Sadie nods.
“What are you talking about, Reed?” Brooke stands and walks over to the kids.
Reed’s eyes go wide, and Sadie looks down at the gro
und.
“Sadie,” I say more firmly.
“I’m ready to go home, Mommy.” She runs over to me and takes my hand. “Please.”
I nod, even though I know that something is wrong. “Thanks for letting her stop by.” They nod, and we head out the door.
Once I get in the car, I realize that I’ve been holding my breath. Sadie buckles up in her booster seat, while I try to compose myself in the front seat. I rest my head in my hands, trying to regain normal breathing. When I raise my head, Ashton is on the porch looking at me. My heart feels like it’s breaking as I study his eyes staring back at me.
I start the car and spin out of the driveway back to my house. Once we get inside, I race to my bedroom, fall onto my bed, and cry. I cry because I miss his arms around me. I cry because I miss his kisses. I cry because it’s Ashton I miss. I cry because Tiff’s right, I will be alone.
~
“Oh my God, is this party ever going to end?” I groan to Tiff standing next to me.
The Steinbergs’ sweet-sixteen event is finally here and has been going on for three hours. Thankfully, they only booked us for four. Tiff shrugs.
“Please, talk to me,” I beg her.
“Are you talking to Ashton?”
“You know I’m not.” Even though I want to.
“Then I’m not talking to you.” She looks straight ahead.
“Your parents called Sadie last night. They’re excited for her party. I mean, they haven’t seen her since this summer.” Sadie always goes down to visit them.
“Yes, I know. I do talk to my parents.” Tiff’s voice is hard.
I nod and give up talking for her the rest of the night. Once the party is over, and we are done, I head to my car. I’m ready to go home and relax. I send a quick text to Brooke. Sadie is over at her house playing with Reed.
Brooke: Had to go into the hospital. They’re at Ashton’s house.
No, no, no. I shake my head. I can’t go over there again, but there’s no other way to get Sadie.
Crap.
I drive over to his house, and when I pull into the driveway I do my best to give myself a pep talk.
You made your choice, and this is what you want.
Yep, all of that is lies, but Sadie needs my attention. She is number one in my life, and I can’t be losing that focus.
Let's Be Crazy Page 14
