Fallen Angel (The List #3)

by N. K. Love

  I purposely kept my distance from him for the rest of the day, listening to the voice telling me that too much of a good thing is bad for you. Just being in the same vicinity as him tests my resolve. Plus, the fact that I’m here for another week gives me the comfort I need not to rush things.

  In the morning, Jax worked in his office downstairs whilst I surfed online for properties and made a few calls. I booked a couple of appointments to view some places today.

  At lunchtime, I drove over to Next Chapter for a couple of hours and then went on to 24/7 for a spin class afterwards. I was full of energy and eager to burn it. After that, I indulged in a sauna and a steam session. I saw the place in a whole new light, knowing the man behind the manager and trying to comprehend that this gig is just ‘a hobby’ to keep him occupied.

  I’m really working hard on curbing my compulsion to over assess and scrutinise what he’s told me. I don’t want to be that person though. I like who I am when I’m footloose and fancy free. The Beth that overthinks becomes claustrophobic and highly strung.

  When it comes to Jax, I much prefer to lead with my heart and soul. Telling myself this, has stopped me from researching his company online—albeit oh so tempting.

  When I got home, Jax let me loose in his kitchen whilst he did some chores outside. I cooked an evening meal of garlic steak with dauphinoise potatoes and seasonal vegetables. My mother’s favourite and he loved it. He practically licked the plate clean, or at least I imagined he did—with that delicious, skilful tongue of his.

  Until meeting Jax, I had no clue how sexual the simple act of eating can be—or perhaps I can convert and find something sexual about everything that involves Jax nowadays.

  The sexual tension grew expectantly between us throughout dinner, but we purposely didn’t act on it. It was novel to just flirt and have fun, without the expectation that either one of us would pounce. Our relationship isn’t exactly following any conventional rules. We haven’t even been on a date. Jax has never officially dated at all and I was an inexperienced teen when I got with Mike.

  Jax has told me that the extent of his dating experience is taking a girl he wanted to shag out to a business event or dinner first. But basically, whatever the evening began like, it always ended with him having sex and leaving. It’d sound brutal if I didn’t believe that the girls he ‘went’ with were fully aware of what was being offered.

  He never intentionally led me to believe in possibilities of more. Perhaps I was his defiant exception. Luckily for us, although his past is doing a pretty good job of digging its heels into the present, I’m somehow able to see it for what it is—his past. I am his present and hopefully his future too.

  This morning I went to view two properties but I didn’t take Jax up on his offer to go with me. I’ve decided that—as much as I love his company and appreciate his opinion—this part of my journey needs to be my own. I’m entering a brand new challenge of living alone for the first time and I need to commit to it myself, using nobody as a crutch.

  The properties were both as expected for the money. There wasn’t anything particularly wrong with them, they just didn’t feel right. If there weren’t many properties up for rental I know I couldn’t afford to bring ‘gut instinct’ into the decision process but thankfully, there’s still a number of potential places for me to view.

  My mom called shortly after I’d left the second apartment. We skirted the subject of my new relationship but I did tell her that I was staying with Jax until the Devon weekend. I could sense her concern about me rushing into things.

  When I told her it’s unlikely that we’ll visit after the Devon trip—like she’d originally suggested—she said that she’ll come to me instead.

  I understand her point because in her eyes I’m going through a lot of changes and she wants to check in with me face to face to make sure I’m okay. It’s actually a lovely idea that she visits me when I move because she’s the perfect person for turning a house into a home. You can’t buy a mother’s touch.

  I take a seat on the bed in the guest bedroom and make a quick call for dutch courage before I shut the rest of the world out and dive into a night filled with Jax—literally.

  “Hey gorgeous, I was just thinking about you.”

  “Great minds—”

  “And before you ask, I recommend letting the air get to your knees. I find it’s the best cure for carpet burns.”

  “Eh?”

  “Oh and from what I’ve gathered you definitely shouldn’t be diving straight in… or rather he shouldn’t be… Yeah, you need to build yourself up size wise, you know, for full anal—”

  I swiftly interrupt once I realise that she’s playing me.

  “Sorry to disappoint you, oh ‘Willow the Wise’ but that’s not why I was calling.”

  “Aw Beth-a-ny, I was just teasing. I know how you feel about your precious little ass.”

  Alright Wills, I can tease too.

  “Well actually if you’ve finished, I was just calling to see if you were busy tonight?”

  Feed her the bait...

  “Yeah, I’m at work. Why, what’s up?”

  “I’m halfway down a bottle of wine with the sexiest man alive waiting for me in bed. We’re feeling frisky, so thought you might wanna swing by for that ménage à trois we once joked about.”

  And reel her in… My tone was suitably serious yet tipsy and casual. There’s a two second pause before she replies and that crucial pause is evidence of my victory.

  “Shut. The. Hell. Up.”

  “Gotcha, Wills.”

  “You did not get me.”

  “I completely got you. You were on it. You were practically reaching for your car keys.” I don’t wind her up very often so it makes it all the more sweeter when I do. “Aw Willow, I was just teasing.”

  As I throw her words back at her as she snorts out a giggle on the other end of the line.

  “Touché, bitch.” I hear the smile on her lips. “Now some of us have work to do so unless you’ve got any real sexual invitations for me...”

  “No nothing of interest. Just wanted a catch up but give me a call tomorrow.”

  “Well I have nothing to report either. Dad’s been over again and sat talking to my mom for hours so it looks as though they may be trying to work something out. He asked after you actually. Correction—he asked after Jax. Wanted to know my opinion of him.”

  “And what did you say?”

  “I told him the truth; he’s drop dead gorgeous, seems to treat you well and makes you happy. I think he was worried that you’d left because of mom being back and didn’t like to think you’d rushed into anything because of it. Turns out my old man can be very intuitive! Anyway, I put his mind at ease and told him you wanted to move out anyway so you could play nurse with your sexy patient.”

  “Great. Number one, urgh! Please don’t make sexual innuendos about me to your parents. Number two, how did you know?”

  “Craig told me Jax is working from home and then, I saw the invoice from that shop we bought your porn from. Question—were you a bossy nurse? Was he a good patient for you? Did he take all of his medicine like a good boy?”

  I’m stunned, actually gobsmacked.

  “I..I have no words right now.” I’m shaking my head even though she can’t see me. “Okay, so you got me. Anyway, as it happens, tonight’s the night. I’m partway through getting changed into my sexy little purchase. So does your nosey ass wanna make it up to me with any tips?”

  Wills squeals down the phone.

  “I can’t believe it. You are so fucking epic, Beth. Sounds like he’s well and truly tapped into that sexy chick that’s been lurking beneath the surface all these years, just waiting to be discovered. I. Love. It.” More squealing. “Tips, tips… Okay, for role play you need to get into character before you even see him. Get your badass persona on and don’t deviate, no matter how tempted you are or how much he distracts you—stick to your plan. As far as you’re concerned you and J
ax as a couple do not exist. Role play is a whole different type of living in the moment. Nurse and patient though… That’s hot!”

  I hear the cushioned background music momentarily grow louder. She must be in the staff room at the back of the bar.

  “Right, I’ve gotta go but please promise me you’ll dish the dirt on this one though?”

  “I promise and thank you.”

  “Send me a selfie or something yeah?”

  “A-and that’ll be a no but I love you.”

  “Love you too, Smiler!”

  My smile grows when she uses her dad’s pet name for me.

  I take some time, like Wills advised, to create Nurse Taylor’s persona. I’ve given Jax instructions to wait for me in bed, naked. In the bathroom, I brush my teeth and gargle some mouthwash. I’m already moisturised—fully—in his favourite cocoa butter so my skin feels warm and soft to the touch, which is a good job considering this outfit has plenty of me on show.

  It’s a white, halter necked lycra one piece with a skirt that barely covers my ass. It’s skin tight and fastens together with a red zip that runs from my cleavage straight down. I put it on like a waistcoat and zipped it up most of the way, plunging the neckline to flirt between my breasts. I’m wearing some expensive killer red stilettos, which I bought on impulse but have never found the right occasion to sacrifice my toes for. These heels are going to be worth every penny tonight. Plus, I don’t think they’ll be lasting long enough to cause too much damage to my feet.

  After spritzing my perfume, I smear on daring red lipstick followed by a few flicks of mascara and pinch my cheeks to bring some blood to the surface. I’ve no doubt that I’ll be flushing red the second I step into his bedroom, voiding this move pointless.

  With my legs astride, I dip my head down towards the floor, swishing my hair upside down. I plump it with my fingers, adding volume and in one swift move, flick my head back up. I have to catch the sink as I sway unsteadily; a mixture of adrenalin and alcohol confusion from the two shots of vodka I did to calm my nerves before coming up here to get dressed.

  I slide in the accompanying thin red headband that has a white square panel standing upright at the front with a red cross on it, like a kinky nurse’s tiara. I also have some fake reading glasses with thin black frames around cat’s eye shaped lenses.

  Finally I fit the mock stethoscope, which also came with the outfit, around my neck. I’ve deemed this outfit as; no underwear necessary—N.U.N, ironically.

  Taking a few deep breaths, I check myself out in the mirror and I’m pleasantly surprised. Even I think she looks hot—I mean, I—I look hot.

  I don’t feel or look like myself, which reminds me of when I lap danced for Jax. That feels like so long ago now but I was able to consume myself with that confident persona and keep my game face in place long enough to achieve my goal. Tonight’s no different. I’m going all in. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to make sure he enjoys it.

  When I first bought the outfit I decided straight away how I wanted it to play out. I want to use it to be authoritative, in a super flirtatious way, building up the sexual tension until its explosive. This role play needs to be sexy and professional, not slutty and overtly-suggestive in a trashy way. Let’s hope I don’t get flustered and fall at the first hurdle.

  Before I turn my phone to silent, I take a few self-indulgent selfies because the reflection in the mirror tells me I’m going to want to look back on these snaps and thank this girl later. I decide to give Jax a few moments notice of what’s about to walk through his bedroom door, so I pose provocatively on the final snap and send it to him with the message: Your appointment with Nurse Taylor will commence shortly.

  I also bought a professional looking clipboard and pen too—yeah, I mean business. Plus it’ll give me a distraction in case my nerves start creeping in.

  One last glance over my shoulder as I walk out the bathroom ensures my game face is secured in place.

  I sashay down the hallway as best I can with my high heels sinking into his thick carpet. A brief pause at his doorway gives me a moment to silently hand the baton decisively over to Miss Alter Ego—over to you!

  I walk inside with confidence and my head held high, closing the bedroom door behind me. I introduce myself as I walk around the bed.

  “Good evening Sir, my name is Nurse Taylor. Sorry I’m a few minutes late, I was just looking over your medical records. How are you feeling?”

  I come to stand at the end of the bed, looking at him over the top of my glasses with my pen poised over the clipboard.

  Silence.

  Jax is holding his phone in his hands on his lap. He is topless—and hopefully bottomless too—with his covers pulled up around his waist. It’s clear that, until he received that picture message, he had no inkling of what to expect.

  I remain expressionless and completely in character but silently praying that he complies and gets into role sharpish, otherwise this is going to take a nosedive straight into awkward territory. As if he’s reading my thoughts, I see him subtly shake off his surprise and step into the moment.

  As his eyes all but assault me through their hooded gaze, he clears his throat.

  “Nurse Taylor, it’s a pleasure to see you.”

  “And you’re feeling…?”

  “Sorry, yes, I’m feeling better by the minute.”

  Hmm, I’m not sure how long I can let him get away with that cocky demeanour.

  “That’s encouraging to hear. Now we’ve met before, very briefly, but this appointment will be a lot more thorough. I’ve been notified that since your recent injury, you’ve been partaking in certain physical activities. It’s my job today to ensure that you’re fully capable of doing such things—”

  “Oh I think it’s safe to say that I’m more than capable—”

  “With respect, Mr Carter, Sir, I’m the professional here. But of course, if you’d rather I send Jack back to complete—”

  “No, no. No, thank you.”

  I’m fully into nurse mode now. I am Nurse Motherfucking Taylor and I’ll remain so provided my patient doesn’t decide to wrestle that control from me.

  “Perfect.”

  I stroll over to his side on the bed, nearest the doorway. Leaning over to take away his mobile from him, I watch as his hungry eyes dart straight down my neckline and his pupils dilate. My breasts fall forward, exposing maximum cleavage whilst my nipples cling onto the lycra for dear life.

  Jax licks his lips and when I take his phone, he automatically raises a hand to my hip. I don’t even think he’s aware that he’s done it. There’s no way I can maintain this act with him touching me. Plus I want to build up the anticipation.

  I slap his hand away and he snaps his eyes back to mine.

  Putting the phone on the bedside table, I straighten back up and fold my arms across my chest in an intentionally enticing pose.

  “Mr Carter, I am going to conduct a full physical examination. I don’t expect you to touch me or talk to me unless I make it clear that I expect it. Do you understand?”

  Jax pulls a pouty face and sighs in acceptance.

  “I understand.”

  “Good. Well let’s get started then. I’ve got a lot to get through.”

  I pivot on the spot and reach over to the foot of the bed to collect my clipboard. Raising one leg off the floor as I reach, my shortass outfit ensures he gets the view I was hoping for.

  “Fuck.”

  I hear him whisper through gritted teeth.

  With my clipboard in hand, I stand upright and turn to face him again. God, he is so fucking handsome. He is biting onto his bottom lip with a look of both frustration and raw desire.

  “Sorry, did you say something, Sir?”

  I focus my attention on the clipboard but look over it through my specs. I may be calling him ‘Sir’, but there’s no dispute in my tone as to who’s in control. He shakes his head slowly.

  I remain in role whilst Miss Alter Ego is cartwheeli
ng around naked, squealing with excitement.

  Unclipping the pen, I pretend to read and write. Then I casually flick over the strip of four condoms I’ve fastened to the metal clamp at the top of the board. The condoms cascade down and, without looking, I sense Jax smirk at the move.

  Putting the clipboard down on the other side of him, I spend time working methodically, checking over his body. Everything I do appears innocent but in the scenario I’ve created, even the slightest touch is having an emphasised effect on him… And me.

  Stroking my fingers across his upper body, I ask him random spontaneous questions or apply pressure in certain areas and ask if it’s uncomfortable. Every so often I’ve been reaching over to write things on the clipboard, which I’ve placed deliberately just out of reach.