Fallen Angel (The List #3)

by N. K. Love

  Sometimes a pull-your-panties-to-the-side-quickie is just what’s needed to take the edge of all of the craziness.

  When we finally got to his bedroom he encouraged me to drink the water he’d gotten for me, which was actually refreshing and much needed. Apparently, tonight’s diet of cocktails and cock was a recipe for dehydration.

  We were too tired for a shower and the proposition of an intimate wash with a warm washcloth by my red hot man, was quickly accepted. Of course, I returned the gesture and the whole time we talked more, continuing the conversation about his name and his family.

  I know that something happened to send Jax spiralling into what I would refer to as kamikaze mode. He is a successful man with ambition and tremendous potential, yet he gave it all up. He walked out of one life and stepped onto a blank canvas… But why?

  Jax told me that his family didn’t agree with his decision but they respected it. They agreed that he needed time and space to get his head together, which told me that this doesn’t have to be a permanent life choice—even if he believes that to be the case.

  In their eyes, it seems as though it was a temporary solution but Jax paints the story differently. I asked him if it means there’s hope he can reconnect with his family, especially now that he’s made steps to break the cycle of his mundane work-workout-eat-sleep routine.

  Maybe I was being presumptuous in hoping that I can have that much of a positive impact on him so soon into our relationship. Jax said that he wants to give us a chance without overcomplicating things. He does seem happier and more content now than when I met him. It’s also not difficult to notice that over the last few days, it’s like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. But I still sense it hovering above us like an anvil.

  There’s something looming on the horizon. I know he’s preparing to confide in me wholeheartedly but there’s something stopping him. I trust him, so I won’t push him and if I’m honest with myself, I’m batshit crazy that this ‘thing’ is going to undo us. I don’t want it to change the way I feel about him but I’m scared to death that that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Why else would he be so weary?

  He told me, “To be honest, the thought of introducing you to my overzealous family scares the crap out of me, especially considering once upon a time I resigned myself to the fact that there was a good chance I’d never speak to them again.”

  From that sentence, one word echoed over and over in my head; was. I still have hope and for now, that’s enough.

  Not wanting to end a fun night with heavy conversation and in reward for his openness, the Bank of Beth deposited a shitload into his account. Jax decided to make an instant withdrawal by way of us watching a porno with the addition of Jaxson rules.

  Such a typical thing for us to do. We always rebalance by reconnecting physically. I don’t know if it’s normal or healthy but sex has such powerful capabilities. It can make and break relationships—I’ve been on the receiving end of both possibilities. It can heal insecurities, providing comfort and reassurance. Besides the obvious mind-blowing orgasms and extreme pleasure. Sex with Jax is a lot of things and ‘therapeutic’ is just one of them.

  “Hey, daydreamer.”

  “Sorry… So what’s this about then? Is there some stereotypical I’ve-come-to-fix-your-leaky-pipe type storyline?”

  “That would be telling. Okay, the rules are that we watch but don’t speak. We touch… but only with our hands.”

  “What? That’s ridiculous.” I reach for the DVD case. “How long’s this thing on for?”

  “Only forty-five minutes. You ready?”

  I kiss him and nod so Jax hits play. We’re snuggled together, warm and naked underneath the blanket. I’m toying with the idea of trying to abstain instigating any touching, to teach him a lesson about his silly rules. But after ten minutes, the chances of that happening are rapidly diminishing.

  There’s a hot couple in a beautiful hotel suite and they’re on the run from the police. The main girl is actually nothing like what I expected, then I realise that she sort of resembles me, with her long brown hair, big breasts and wide hips. I wonder if that’s why he chose it.

  Her character is playing hard to get and her boyfriend is throwing crass innuendos around like there’s no tomorrow. Flirting, touching her seductively, enough to get my body tingling, but apparently not hers because she’s not showing willing. There’s bags of money on the table and he’s bragging about his fortune and evading the police.

  Sirens start in the background and the guy starts panicking, wielding a realistic looking gun around. But the girl—she’s cool as a cucumber. Being captured is imminent. Two policeman burst through the door. She ends up handcuffed, sitting on the floor, leaning against the table in nothing but her underwear. The other policeman drags the gunman out and I forget for a minute that this is supposed to be an adult film. Where’s all the fu…

  O-okay, I see where this is heading.

  The sexiest policeman, with biceps bursting out of his short sleeved uniform, roughly hoists the girl to her feet and things start heating up quickly when the atmosphere in the room changes both on the screen and here. The eyefucking is blatant but reminds me of the first time I laid eyes on my gladiator. The officer removes his hat and strokes the key to the cuffs down her cleavage, then lower, over her tanned skin and toned torso until he reaches her thong, where he deposits it beneath the red elastic.

  Jeez, this is so much better than that pirate porno I watched in here by myself before. Jax selected wisely tonight.

  As I watch the screen, I imagine it’s Jax and I. I try to snuggle closer into his body but we’re already glued tight. As the policeman tears his shirt off—officer of the law in a press-studded shirt, who knew?—Jax’s hands starts to wander more intently.

  We watch as the girl is fiercely seduced, she’s already putty in his hands, in stark contrast to how she was with her partner in crime. No more playing hard to get, she’s like a deer caught in the headlights.

  Still handcuffed, he lowers her onto the bed and removes the rest of his clothes.

  Talk about a truncheon! Perhaps being tied up wouldn’t be as daunting as I’d thought. I wonder if Jax realises that when I’m getting turned on by this guy, it’s really only ever him.

  Soon enough, I’m handling Jax’s own truncheon and reminding myself of how wonderfully lucky I am to have this frequently inside me. As the guy goes down on her—seemingly to retrieve the missing key—Jax works his magic between my legs and brings me to climax simultaneously with her. It’s a new experience for me and it’s intoxicating.

  Jax continues to mimic the actions on screen but it’s obvious we’re both desperate to get our mouths on one another. Next, the policeman laps his tongue over her pussy. Jax flutters his fingers, working my clit up into another frenzy as it pulsates from watching this guy suck her bare pussy close-up on screen.

  The penetrative sex is explicit and definitely arousing. Jax turns the volume up on the surround sound speakers, creating our own little world. It reminds me of the bubble he created in his car on that unforgettable evening of crazy car sex.

  The sounds of her cries and the slapping flesh, lead Jax to come all over my clenched fist.

  I get it now. I understand why he limited us to hands only. We would never have gotten through this film otherwise. The experience of watching another couple having sex, notwithstanding the acting, is major foreplay of its own. By the time the sneaky little vixen has cunningly fucked him into handcuffs, in a crafty twist, she’s out the door with two bags of cash and not so much as a ‘Thank you Officer Orgasm’.

  Jax wastes no time in making it very clear that he too has been desperate to get his mouth all over me, to consume me. My cock-hungry mouth’s so familiar with him now, it’s second nature to give him oral pleasure and drive him wild. It still feels liberating to be this confident with his body and mine. I suck him greedily for the third time today, knowing every time that it’ll never be enough. I br
ing him close but not too close.

  Jax flips me around like a gymnast, into a sixty-nine position and dives in to eat my pussy with the precision and skills I’ve become accustomed to. I realise when he spreads my ass cheeks inches from his face, that although I still feel vulnerable, it’s in a way that’s sexually enticing and not at all intimidating.

  I want him to take control so I urge him to do so. Knowing my body better than I do myself, Jax sets to move his lubricated fingers further back. Rather than tensing up this time, I relax into the moment and grant him the access he needs to glide into me. His finger still feels strange there but the sensation is incredible when combined with all that he does to me and for me.

  Will he ever stop rousing the irresistible muse within me, making me want to devote myself evermore to him? Does that make me weak, even though I feel stronger than ever? I think I’m hiding behind him. But if I have to step out on my own, will I crumble? I need to get through this with Jax. I need to fight for us because, quite frankly, I don’t want to imagine a life without him in it. I’ve always drawn from his strength and from now on I will use it to help him over these final hurdles.

  Lord knows I’ve made my mistakes but since knowing Jax, he has either given me space or pressure—depending on which I needed. He’s held my hand down new paths, empowering me to explore. I’ve grown and learned so much about myself since he came into my life.

  I roll out my hips, pressing my backside out, exposing myself for him. Moving his cock to my breasts, my cleavage rides him whilst my nipples gain their stimulation from his rough hair and ripped abs. This gives my mouth perfect access to pay attention to his balls. His groans vibrate within me.

  Leaning up on one hand, I embrace his long length and caress him. My earlier orgasm has me feeling extra sensitive.

  With my five senses being so deliciously assaulted from all angles, it’s almost a feeling of claustrophobia;

  The scent of our fiery sex is in the heated air.

  The taste of him as I flick my tongue across his cock.

  The sight of his tongue working miracles on my pussy as my eyes follow up the length of his defined, shadowed body.

  The feel of his impeccable mouth on me with his fingers twisting pain into one nipple as the other hand pushes one, or maybe two thick fingers in and out of my tight but willing hole, stretching and filling me.

  The sound of my arousal combined with his carnal growls, knowing he gets off on how much I trust and surrender my body completely to him.

  My orgasm builds up but the intensity makes it somehow feel delicate, almost fragile. Short spasms burst from my body as I fight against the mass of stimuli.

  “As much as I want to suck you dry, Angel, I need to bury my dick inside you—now.”

  He flips me over again, this time on my back, facing the much needed whirring ceiling fan. I watch him clean his fingers with a wet wipe off the side as I welcome the cool air all over my body. He negotiates himself to kneel between my shaky knees and I watch in awe as he strokes himself from root to tip whilst towering over me, raking his eyes all over my naked body.

  Without looking away from him, I reach over and grab a condom from the drawer and hand it to him. I watch his strong, chiselled jaw clench as he quickly tears open the foil packet with his teeth. My gaze continues to trace his powerful lines. It’s as though they’re etched into his firm body.

  Jax skilfully rolls the condom around his broad girth.

  “Jax, I’m glad we’re together, and that—for whatever reason—you chose to let me in.”

  He stills, hovering over me with his veiny muscular arms taking his weight. I look up, and out of nature’s green eyes, I find myself abruptly confused by what I see and what I’m feeling.

  “Me too, Angel.”

  Jax lowers himself into me with his flawless technique. I’m happily confident that the stomach somersaulting sensation when he enters me will never go away—it’s as wonderful and breath-taking as ever. But, once inside, he waits.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Beth—I, just… Don’t look away, when you come. Look me in the eyes when you come. Tell me—tell me how good it feels. I want to know that I can be—good—that I can be good, for you.”

  I see something deeper within his expression. There’s no doubt about it, this man wants to fuck my brains out, but the mind behind his eyes is showing me a different sort of tenderness. I know he cares about me, he does. But his body is telling me more tonight. The hesitancy in his tone… He is thinking before he speaks, which is a first for him, especially in the bedroom.

  I can’t help but cover my face with my hands, overcome with an emotion that doesn’t belong in this moment. He wants to fuck you Beth, nothing more, nothing less. Stop hoping. I need to fix up and stop fabricating.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Beth.”

  I move my hands away and catch hold of his upper arms, feeling them shuddering under his weight.

  “I’m sorry, I just—got caught up in the moment.”

  “Yeah? It does feel fucking amazing.” He isn’t talking about sex. He’s thrown me off guard again. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be than lying here inside you.”

  “Wow, Jaxson.” I giggle. “You’ve just blown all other romantic sentiments out of the water with that one.”

  Jax flashes me his cheeky pearly white smile.

  “Hmm ‘beside you’ too but ‘inside you’ is incomparable.”

  He presses in his final magical length—proving his point. I moan and lose my breath in that unique, precious way that belongs only to him.

  “Mm-huh, I couldn’t agree more… Jax—” He lowers his forearms to rest either side of my face. “—we’re going to be okay, aren’t we?”

  Pressing our foreheads together, he closes his eyes.

  “Angel… I don’t know but… I really fucking hope so.” He kisses me softly and rolls his hips again, pre-empting my involuntary whimper and catching it within his throat. Opening his eyes, they’re ablaze with passion. “All I do know is that in this moment, right now, you are completely, un-fucking-forgettably mine. You. Want. Me.”

  “Always.”

  Jax builds up his strokes slowly, never losing eye contact. We kiss and get drawn into a spellbinding euphoric ride for two. My mind and body crash together beautifully. It all becomes fuzzy. The vision of his handsome face blurs. A stray tear tiptoes undetected down the side of my head.

  My pussy is tender and the strength of my impending climax makes me feel weak. I pant short steady breaths, worried that if my thoughts swing out of context again, my orgasm will flee like a rogue fugitive. But Jax would never let that happen, he knows this is going to be intense, my body tells him that before I even get the chance.

  Jax’s cock is like an unstoppable vacuum that instantly rids my brain of coherent thoughts. He zaps energy from my body like a power cut.

  I tell him how incredible he makes me feel, how he reaches my limits and then pushes them. As I begin to climax, I fall into an uncontrollable repetition of ‘Oh God,’ like a broken record.

  Jax stealthily carries me over the threshold, delivering me to our sacred place.

  That place where nothing else matters.

  For now, nothing else does matter.

  2:30pm

  Jax

  Beth went to work early this morning so it gave me chance to sort through the upstairs office. I set the small burner up in the yard and destroyed the majority of the documentation I held in there. I felt no emotion or attachment. I’m content with my decision to leave the Unit.

  Who would’ve thought that over a month ago, that beautiful shy girl, looking down at me from the balcony, would be the one to instigate this massive decision?

  Jack swung by mid-morning. He didn’t need to ask what I was burning. Jack had been through a similar process when he left last year.

  He came bearing the good news that most of my loose ends are now tie
d up. My only concern now is Carmel because she can be a livewire and somewhat unpredictable at times. Since word got around about the Unit, Carmel doesn’t seem to accept the decision that I’m cutting all ties, including her for the most part. There’s only one reason she ever needs to get in touch with me in the future but she keeps finding excuses to call and something just feels off to me.

  As soon as I’m confident that she’s completely out of the picture and that my personal life is completely detached, I’ll be able to sit Beth down and talk to her freely, without feeling like I’m jeopardising her safety.

  Jack seems to think Carmel believed she and I might seriously get together one day. That is absurd and, unless she’s completely delusional, has never been on the radar from the second I took my dick out of her. I always felt like I owed her one because she offered a place for me to belong when I felt like I was—floating. But in truth, she’s called in that favour numerously. My allegiance to her only went as far as the Unit. She is well connected. She doesn’t need protecting. She’s also a very wealthy woman following receipt of her late father’s estate.