Fallen Angel (The List #3)

by N. K. Love

  Jax wraps my high ponytail around his fist and angles my head to the side in what feels like a move to grant better visibility for him. After a few moments, I manage to synchronise my mouth and my hands so that when his cock thrusts hard into my throat, I send the vibrating silicone length deep inside me too.

  He feeds me inch by inch, over and over.

  It’s this carnal feeling of being controlled and owned by Jax that I thrive for. It never fails to act as a security blanket, protecting me, cloaking us into our own little invincible world.

  One more change to the tempo of the bullet vibrations, means I can no longer use the calmness of the music to temper my eagerness or stem my arousal.

  In a hedonistic move, I take him deeper into my throat than expected and gag a little. He moans with intense gratification. I don’t feel embarrassed like I’d imagined I would way back when we were on the balcony.

  Instead, knowing that I’m being pushed further, turns me on even more. So I do it again and again, pushing his cock down my throat until I gag. I’m not worried about it, I’m actually aiming for it. Just as I feel myself start to gag each time, I hold him in place for another few seconds and then retreat back to catch my breath.

  It drives him so wild that my own orgasm approaches quickly.

  I hold him in place resting on my bottom lip as I pant. As I begin to explode I suck his thick crown, letting my moans send vibrations around his girth. I completely hand myself over to the pleasure.

  Jax warns me and then let’s go himself. I swallow hard and gasp for air as another surge fills my throat.

  I drop the vibrator to the floor and cup my pussy with cuffed hands, nurturing the after-effects that echo from the depths of my inner walls to my quivering thighs.

  The chair scrapes across the carpet as he must push it back. Next, he crouches down, scooping my naked body up into his arms as though I weigh nothing, which is apt because that’s exactly how I feel; weightless, floating and numb.

  Jax cradles me. Lovingly kissing my head and then he lays me down on the bed, bringing himself down with me.

  “You were amazing.”

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  My mouth is dry, my voice is hoarse and my lips feel swollen. Jax carefully rolls me onto my side and bends one knee up to my chest.

  The vibrations turn off and he removes the bullet from my ass—now there’s a thought I would’ve never thought I’d think!

  The lack of vibrations there leaves a strange stillness in its wake.

  “Now, I’m going to fuck this incredible pussy of yours—then I’ll remove your blindfold and I’ll take you again but slower.” He wraps his beautiful, warm mouth around my nipple and sucks tenderly, stirring the glowing embers from within. “Are you ready for my surprise, Beth?”

  “Mmm-huh. Yes, Sir.”

  God, I miss his mouth on mine. My breasts would argue their case though, as I bow my spine to press into him harder, urging him to reciprocate the gesture. He does so effortlessly being rougher, exercising less restraint.

  “Feel this.” He hovers over me and rocks his cock through my wet pussy, coating his luscious length. It feels so good, so right. “Do you want this, skin to skin, beautiful?”

  I grind my hips upwards to gain firmer pressure.

  “Fuck… Sorry. I mean yes, yes I do, Sir.”

  “Take me. Show me where you want me.”

  I reach my cuffed hands down and take hold of his erection, rubbing him around my pussy and tormenting us both by placing him right at my entrance in a circling motion—tempting him.

  “Right here, Sir. I want you right here.”

  “I received some news today. Do you trust me?”

  “Always.”

  My curiosity is piqued.

  Jax starts to edge inside me but I pull my hips back in confusion and start to object.

  “Sshh, Angel. Do you trust me?” I hear the smile on his lips.

  News? He’s been tested. He must’ve have been. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

  “Yes.”

  This time I’m not biting my lip. I’m grinning. I’m ecstatic. I can’t believe he’s done this. We’re going to have sex for the first time without anything between us.

  I raise my arms above my head, wanting to feel his control and remember every single second of his naked cock entering me.

  He edges inside again but this time I let him keep on going. I widen my legs letting his thick cock, inch by inch, take over my body.

  The music becomes muffled as I hone in on his breaths, his subtle sounds of pleasure, as he embeds this moment in his mind forever, just like me.

  Once he is deep, he lowers his face to mine and kisses me as though it’s our first kiss. It’s unhurried and calm, in tune with the music. It empties me, yet fulfils every part of me. It’s simply beautiful.

  “Nothing between us. This is how it needs to be.” He is right, no more condoms. But when there’s no more secrets, that’s when we’ll truly be free. For now though, this moment is way beyond what I’d thought tonight would hold. “Are you okay, Angel?”

  “More than okay. Keep going, I need this too.”

  Jax moves fluidly, presses deeper each time. Our hips beat together and I drop my arms over his head, digging my nails into his back as the intensity spirals me into a whole new place.

  He fucks me hard and his skin slickens with sweat, making me want to see his magnificent, powerful body. As he pounds into me, I want to see how his toned abs tense up. I want to see the prominent veins straining out of his arms. But most of all, I want to see his beautiful eyes looking down on me as I imagine him biting down onto that sexy silver fucking chain of his.

  I don’t recognise my own voice when I cry out for him to go harder. He indulges me and a moment later, I’m fired up high and call out his name as my pussy tightens around his naked cock. I feel his warm release filling my centre.

  For the first time, my pussy is swimming in a blend of our pleasures, milking every drop from him.

  I bask in our orgasms, laid out and spent. Unhooking my arms from around his neck, he pulls out carefully and lays down beside me, holding me to his chest. He undoes the tie and although I’m excited to see him, my energy has been zapped so I keep my head on his chest.

  I feel his come trickling out of me and onto my thighs. It’s a new feeling. I love everything new that happens between us as we grow together every day.

  I realise his bedroom light is on now but the candles are still lit. After a few blinks to clear my vision, the first thing I focus on is his semi-hard cock, lying in wait, deviously daring me to get him rock hard and ready again. There’s no doubt in my mind of Jax’s capabilities. If I wanted it, he would supply it with pleasure.

  My arms are clenched together along the side of his body so I just stroke the skin within my reach. Once our breathing has plateaued to a resting rhythm, he crooks his finger to my chin and nudges my face up to finally meet his.

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Hey, handsome.”

  We kiss and I feel a little shy, suddenly aware of everything that’s happened tonight but yet I’m only just looking into his eyes now.

  Jax breaks away and reaches over to take a small silver key from the bedside table. I spot the bullet resting on a tissue there too. He unlocks one side of the handcuffs, freeing my right hand and I stretch out my arms, moaning in appreciation.

  “No more Sir, Sir?”

  “For now, no more Sir.” He brings my right wrist to his lips and kisses all around the red marks, then gently rubs it all over with his masseuse’s expert touch. “I’ve never done that before—you know, bareback.”

  Wow, I definitely did not know that. I remember he mentioned it in his sexting ages ago but I thought that was just said in the moment.

  “Neither have I.”

  Come to think of it, Mike would’ve probably worn two at a time if he could’ve.

  We both smile goofy grins that would tell the world we’r
e absolutely smitten with each other. It’s heart-warming.

  “Well in that case, are you ready to take it slow this time, Angel?”

  He rolls onto his right side, looking down at me with wanting eyes that make me feel treasured. Distracted by the moment, when he throws the key back on the side table, I realise he’s cuffed his own wrist now. I watch as he laces the fingers of our cuffed hands together.

  It’s an awesome and poetic gesture that represents a visual for that invisible connection we feel between us. We’re fixed together, secure in our perfect bubble, where nothing else matters except each other. It’s not about our pasts or even our futures. Only the present is relevant.

  “You are my saviour, Bethany Taylor.”

  “And you are mine… Jax, I know you’ve never loved before but—I don’t want you to fuck me, or have sex with me—I want you to have me believe that we’re making love. After everything that we’ve been through, even though it’d only be more role play, I want to know what it feels like to be loved and cherished in the way that I’ve craved for my whole life. Please.”

  Mike loved me, I know he did. But not it the way he should’ve. Not that passionate, raw, insatiable, craving kind of love where you can’t keep your hands off each other. Not that novel kind of love that drives you to the edge of sanity because you’re so consumed that you can’t think straight.

  I may sound pathetic and maybe even desperate but this is the way tonight has to end for me. I’m not scared that I’ll push him away anymore. If he freaks out, it’d only show me that we don’t have a real future together and I’ll never be ready to accept that, so why delay the inevitable. Tonight’s as good as any night to have my heart broken.

  Jax searches my face for a vulnerability he won’t find. I am in a fragile position but the strength of my love for him leaves me standing strong in my convictions. Make or break.

  Without a word he caresses my face, deep in thought then furrows his brow and leans down to capture my lips in a kiss that holds a turmoil of emotion. It’s not just a kiss, it’s a conversation between lovers. But he flits so quickly from one angle to another with each lash of his tongue, he renders translation impossible.

  After a few moments, he settles on the emotion I pleaded for; love. It’s leisurely and authentic. He raises our cuffed hands and places his palm over my heart. I mirror him.

  We smile against each other’s mouths and he directs himself between my legs. Wrapping my thighs around him, he glides into me with painstaking precision, ensuring he marries his pace with my need.

  He overlaps our joined hands and uses mine to caress my breasts, reminding me of our time in the shower at the gym. That was the night when I first admitted to myself about my true feelings for Jax.

  Our very beings fuse together in a bond that’s so beautiful, I have to focus on the music to keep my emotions in check.

  Raising our linked hands to the side of my head, he bears his weight on both of his hands to allow him to ride me deeper. Sliding back and forth hypnotically, we feed the tranquil ambience surrounding us, with our powerful energy.

  Tonight, he restrained my hands and took my sight but he may as well of lowered the blindfold to my mouth and gagged me right now because I am awestruck and speechless.

  My tears soak into the bed sheets. I love him so much it’s almost painful. Not least because, although I said this was role play, his actions tell me he feels it too or at least he feels my true love pouring out of me—surely he must. There’s so much love for him that, try as I might, there’s no way I could keep it all from him. I’m dying to say the words and say it with pride. I don’t want to feel like I need to whisper it as though it’s a dirty little secret that I should be ashamed of.

  But I won’t. I won’t pour my heart out to him until the void of darkness between us has been exposed and buried into the past.

  Jax sees my tears but turns his face away. He is breathing heavily and where he’d usually be cursing and talking dirty, he bites his chain and doesn’t say a word. I reach up and turn his face back to me, pulling his chain from his mouth. I kiss him passionately, reassuring him that we’re okay and it’s okay to enjoy this for what it is. Maybe he’s concerned that by pandering to my request he is encouraging my flight to disappointment.

  He kisses me until my swollen lips feel bruised. Whatever inner battle he’s having with himself, he can kiss me like this all night long. I sporadically break away as my climax builds, panting into each other’s mouths. His teeth capture my bottom lip. Only then does my lost voice return to cry out to him in a jumbled mash of half sentences.

  Jax starts to come and the sensation of him filling me again sends me to new dizzying heights, where I happily jump off the edge into an abyss of pleasure, even knowing that at the bottom there lies a whole world of uncertainty. A world that belongs to Jax. This time the bungee rope is still attached, saving me from the unknown.

  One day though, I will freefall towards that uncertainty.

  “Will you catch me?”

  I whisper, reknitting our fingers together and squeezing, holding on to him for dear life. He dips down and presses our foreheads together, breathing heavily but controlled.

  “Always, Angel—if you’ll let me.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Tuesday 28th April 2015

  7:05am

  Jax

  After a blissful night’s sleep with my girl wrapped in my arms, I decide to wake her with an orgasm, which had a rejuvenating effect on both of us. We showered and dressed together and are now sitting on the patio chairs, overlooking the fields, eating breakfast, whilst sipping coffee. Perfection.

  Beth says that I make her coffee perfect, which I suspect is her cunning ploy to rope me into always making our coffee but I find satisfaction by satisfying her, however I possibly can.

  Last night we talked about our childhoods, hers more so than mine but it did get us on to speaking about my aptitude for technology and how it all began. I shared stories about my early hacking days and my thirst to right wrongs, to make people pay. Her reaction was one of bewilderment initially, asking why I’m now wasting my technological skills when it’s clearly been the backbone of my business success.

  We talked some more and she asked me to help her with the computing side of her business. I offered to be a sounding board for any part of her business, it’d be a pleasure to help her if that’s what she wants. She’s an intelligent girl with an untamed ambition. Once she sets her mind on where she truly wants to take her career, she’ll be an unstoppable force to be reckoned with—I don’t doubt that for a minute.

  “Okay, okay sweet B, let’s see here.”

  Beth shuffles closer into me, peering over my arm to see what I’m typing into the search engine on my phone.

  SEARCH: What the fuck is tantric sex?

  She elbows me in the ribs.

  “I hope you’re taking this seriously, Mr Carter.”

  “I am, I am. Look, I’m taking forty million results seriously. We best get reading.”

  We search for some kosher websites in a language we can both relate to as complete novices. I bat away the voices asking me what the fuck I’m doing. Truth be known, I haven’t a clue what I’m doing but if it’s something Beth wants then I’ll try for her. Plus it involves Beth and sex; two particular favourites of mine!

  Beth suggests, against my will, that we don’t touch each other for the rest of the day. That basically means we need to stay apart because there’s no way we can be in the same building without being drawn to each other.

  I’m meeting the CEO in the city later this morning and Beth’s going into Next Chapter for most of the day so we’re going to meet back here for an evening meal.

  I’m still procrastinating. I’ve been playing out the conversations in my head and none of them end well. I have never spoken to anybody about what happened that night in London but as difficult as it’s going to be, Beth needs to know. We have no relationship if I can’t lay my past
out before her. It’s got to be all or nothing because we can’t move forwards until I take her back in time.

  The only thing holding me back is me because the longer I leave it, the harder it becomes.

  9:04pm

  Today has been hard—literally hard—all fucking day. I don’t know if it’s because I kept thinking about her or if it’s the anticipation about tonight.

  We exchanged a few text messages but that merely catered to my craving for her, especially when we switched to sending photos that naturally grew more and more explicit. I gave in by this afternoon and relieved the strain. My kinky girl asked me to film it when I told her I couldn’t wait. She said it was probably a good idea that I masturbated because I’ll last longer tonight—I’m not so sure.