An Extended Family

by Austin Daniels

  "Can you show me some of your moves?"

  "Not yet. Since you're coming with me to my next class, you can start at the beginning. The new trainees work on a mat in an alcove off the main area. You'll be able to practice your own moves while watching us at the same time. There's a new class starting this week. The trainer is a good friend, and I'll get you in this Thursday, so you can start the day after tomorrow. Classes last about an hour and they start at six." I could see by the look on Preston's face that he appreciated my taking charge even though it was apparent that he harbored a little fear at the same time.

  "Just don't expect too much," he said. "I've never even been in a fight."

  "Just do what you can. No pressure. I think you'll find that learning these moves when you aren't under attack or the subject of anyone's verbal abuse, it changes the whole ballgame. Before you know it, you'll have plenty of confidence. The next time you're in danger you'll be able to take care of yourself."

  The Class

  Preston

  Everyone needs a break, and I was more than ready for one. I felt a personal obligation not to bother Kyle when he was writing, and I'd studied until I couldn't bear to look at a textbook again. Checking the time, I thought Dexter might be home, so I gave him a call.

  Plopping down on the couch, I punched in the number and in a few seconds, he was saying hello. "Hey Dexter, how're things?"

  Dexter was quick to respond. "Well things are just super. You were lucky to reach me. I've had my phone off a lot lately. I've been spending most of my time over at…" Dexter seemed to be listening to somebody else. "Oh, I almost forgot I can't tell you. It's a surprise."

  "What? So, you still won't tell me the name of your mystery beau? Do I know him?" I asked, knowing I'd never be able to pry a name out of him.

  "You know of him but don't worry, you'll be meeting him soon enough."

  "I can hardly wait. Oh, by the way I'm starting self-defense training. Kyle's into it and after what happened, I think it'll be a good idea. I've never done anything like that before."

  "I know what you mean. Guys like us have to be careful. I can't wait to see you turn into some big butch bruiser."

  "Yeah, enough of that. But it wouldn't hurt. You might want to consider something like that. I mean it could happen to you next."

  Minutes later we hung up. I promised to tell him all about it. Oddly he seemed to think it was all very funny.

  *~*~*

  Two days later, Kyle and I arrived at a building on the edge of an industrial area. There was a desk in the entry, but there wasn't anyone there. It was about five-thirty in the evening and my first self-defense class was to begin in a half hour. I was hungry but had strict instructions not to eat anything for a couple of hours prior to class. In the next few minutes Kyle showed me the place as people began to arrive.

  I saw that most of it was covered with a massive mat. Several people were already doing a few warm up exercises and stretches. Everyone was wearing thick, white, cotton robe-like coats and drawstring pants. A thick cotton belt held it all in place. They all looked like they were getting ready for a judo or karate match. At the opposite end of the room was a man who seemed to be the instructor. He noticed us coming and walked toward us. "Hi Kyle, this must be our new trainee."

  "Leonard, I'd like you to meet Preston." I'd rarely heard Kyle call me by my proper name and it seemed so formal it bothered me for a second.

  Leonard took me by the sleeve and turned me around, pointing to a door. A young man wearing the same white robe-like uniform had just entered the room. Grinning, Leonard gestured to him to come over. "Preston I'd like you to meet…"

  "Dexter?" I interrupted. "Is that you?" A few seconds later, Jake walked through the door. "Oh my God," I said, "You're both going to take this class with me? That's awesome."

  Dexter came close and took me to the side. "So, you met the instructor, Leonard?"

  "Yeah, just before you guys came in."

  "You know the mystery man I've been telling you about? Well that's him. He's my new… you know."

  'You know,' sat on my brain for a minute. I looked at Leonard, who certainly looked the part and then at Dexter. I had an irresistible urge to check out Leonard again, realizing there was no doubt that Leonard was Dexter's new Dom. Before I could respond, Kyle came over and interrupted us. "Leonard teaches this class and Dexter's been here, but Jake's new here. Leonard will be training all three of you. The boys wanted to surprise you."

  Jake joined us, and Leonard approached the group to explain a few things. "It'll be a long time before you'll be prepared to test your skill against another person. Tonight, you two will be starting to learn how to move and how to fall without hurting yourself. Dexter has a head start on you, but another night of practice before moving onto another fall, won't hurt him. I would rather you all move at the same pace. Be patient and stick with it. The day will come that you'll be standing in combat with one another."

  Jake objected, saying, "That would be kind of weird. I mean we're all close friends, we could never hurt each other."

  "Once you can separate your emotion from what you'll be doing in combat, and learn how to avoid being hurt, you'll be ready. By then, you'll understand that you won't be hurting one another. Some people have difficulty acting violently without emotion. Hopefully, you won't be one of them. It's a hard lesson to learn. Kyle here knows that. What he did to the boys that roughed up Preston tells me volumes."

  "What… did Kyle do?" I said turning toward Kyle to see his reaction. "Kyle?"

  Turning me back toward the same door Dexter and Jake had emerged from Kyle whispered, "Come on, let's change for class. I think the time has come to give you the details of that afternoon. I promised I'd tell you later. I guess it's later." Turning to the group, he excused us, and we headed for the locker room.

  A feeling of dread followed me with each step. Once inside the room, Kyle opened a door and brought out a bundle. It was apparently one of the outfits that Dexter and almost everyone else in the room was wearing. He handed it to me and I began to untie the thick white belt that held the carefully folded bundle together.

  "Before long, you'll never have to worry about guys like the ones that ganged up on you."

  "Do you really think so?"

  "Absolutely. I don't think they'll be bothering you anytime soon, though."

  "So tell me, what did you do?"

  "I'll tell you about it while you start to get dressed." Taking a deep breath, Kyle sat on the bench that ran between the rows of lockers next to where I was standing. Then leaning toward me, he said, "You remember the day I gave you the pain pill and you went to sleep? Well, after you nodded off, I left the house and drove to your apartment with your keys. At first, I was just going to get your things and move you lock, stock, and barrel to my house. I needed you to be safe.

  "Right around the corner I saw three guys that fit the description you gave me exactly. I didn't say anything. I parked the car and got out ahead of them. I tried to make myself look as helpless as I possibly could. Anyway, they were watching as they walked toward me. As I expected, they decided I was weak and tried to attack me just like they attacked you, with one big difference. I was prepared for it.

  "I took all three of them down in a few seconds and left them with a stern warning. You know, I have a suspicion that one of those guys might be one of us. I was so mad, I raised the idea that he might be fighting on the wrong side. Anyway, that's what Leonard was referring to. I should have told you.

  "Actually, there's something else I should have told you. Leonard is… my old… Dom. He's the guy who showed me the ropes. We're just friends now, but we're good friends."

  My eyes teared up as I looked around the room to make sure we were alone. Throwing my arms around him, I whispered into his ear, "No one has ever done anything like that for me." He turned my face and kissed me hard.

  "No one will ever hurt you again. Not ever." It was the biggest commitment I'd ever been give
n, a lifetime of protection. Apparently, this whole training I was about to begin was all part of that.

  Finally dressed, we returned to the room they called a dojo. We were given a single fall to learn. Our instructions were to practice that fall over and over and when our arm grew tired from slapping the mat, we were to change sides, and do it left handed. "You never know what side you'll be falling on. When you fight with one of the others, you could run into a lefty. Remember, if you ever have to do this away from this mat, you better get it right."

  Practicing with a cracked rib wasn't easy. The belt I wore helped, but I concentrated on learning and less on the occasional discomfort from my recent injury.

  It was boring, but I could see the other men falling hard on the mat and getting up without a scratch. This was their warm up, so it was obviously important that I know how to fall without getting hurt. I knew that one day soon I'd be doing just that. I needed to learn this backwards and forwards.

  At the end of the session, we were sent to the showers. Jake changed out of his uniform and pulled his clothes on, saying, "I'll fall a gazillion times on this mat, but I've never showered in front of you, not to mention a room full of men, so I'll be showering at home. Thank you very much." Having seen guys run from the showers in high school, I knew what he was afraid of.

  Everyone else was finishing up and we were pooped. I hung my clothes over the locker door and headed into the shower. A moment later, Dexter walked into the shower room. My heart jumped. I expected Dexter to be naked and that was something I thought I could easily ignore. What I saw sent a lightning bolt through me I never expected.

  Dexter and I had known each other since Jake introduced us. I'd never had an occasion to see Dexter with his shirt off, much less buck naked. Dexter had a well-defined body, a set of stomach muscles I could only hope for, and the most beautiful piece I'd ever laid eyes on. It wasn't long before he noticed my stare.

  "Hey, look up," Dexter said.

  Knowing I'd been caught, I thought it best to just fess up. Looking around to make sure none of the other men were within earshot I said, "Sorry, I just never dreamed that you were walking around with that between your legs, at least not with the loose-fitting clothes you always wear."

  "Surprise surprise…"

  I turned around to keep from staring again and to allow myself to adjust to the idea that I would never see Dexter in the same light again.

  "Now that," Dexter said, pointing behind me, "is something I've been aware of for some time, considering the tight pants you wear."

  I spun around. Is Dexter talking about my ass?

  "Damn," he said, shaking his head from side to side.

  "What."

  "You have one fine ass on you, boy."

  "Dexter, cut it out. You wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do with that, and don't call me boy. I'm not your boy."

  "Maybe not, but I sure as hell know want to do with that."

  "Dexter you're as big a bottom as I am. What are you talking about?"

  "I'm talking about getting you on a bed with a length of rope and a tube of lube, that's what. Wow, you should see how red your face just turned."

  "Well, cut it out. I'm not your boy, I'm Kyle's boy and don't be so loud, you're going to out us."

  "Dude, this is a gay club. You were outed when you walked in the door."

  Never having been in a gay anything before, I was stunned. "Seriously, all those hot men out there are…"

  "Yep, all those men are wishing they were in here with you." Then signaling to my ass, he added, "Just think, they'll see that too, pretty soon. We'll see who's staring then."

  "Cut it out, you're just playing with me."

  "Not yet, I'm not."

  "Dexter stop it! You're embarrassing me."

  All this talk was starting to have an effect on me and it wasn't something I wanted to happen right there in front of Dexter. Jake's fear of showering with us seemed a lot more reasonable. I needed to leave the shower right then, not out of embarrassment about Dexter, but because I was going to be rock hard in a minute. I grabbed the towel, but before I could cover up Dexter caught me.

  "See the effect ol' Dex has on you? Someday, I'm gonna show you what I'm all about." There was a seriousness to his tone that left me feeling like he'd stopped teasing me and was instead making me a promise, a commitment I was inappropriately anxious to see come to fruition.

  "But Dexter," I said, "I have a boyfriend… and so do you."

  "Having a 'boyfriend' is nice but that bump in your towel tells me volumes." Then with a grin he whispered, "If I didn't know better I'd swear that was my future permission to have my way with that." I was oddly less and less embarrassed seeing him stare at my rising towel.

  "You wish," I countered, realizing how lame it sounded only after I said it. I stepped away, went to my locker, and began to dress.

  The door opened, and the rest of the men started coming in just as I pulled up my pants. I finished dressing, checked in with Kyle, telling him I'd meet him in the gym, and left the locker room.

  Leonard was out before Kyle. He came over, told me it was great to meet me, and shook my hand. When Dexter joined us, he pulled me close to him and planted his lips square on mine. Then, pulling away unfazed, he said goodnight.

  I was not at all unfazed "Dexter? What are you doing?"

  "Sorry, I forget you're not out yet. That's just a typical goodbye kiss. You and I need to get together for some lessons in gay etiquette. I forget you haven't even been to a gay bar."

  "Actually, I've never been to any bar."

  "Dude, your parents don't even know yet, do they?"

  "Well, no."

  "When you gonna tell 'em?"

  Embarrassed by my fear, I said, "I was waiting until I tried it and knew for sure. I guess I knew all along but was using that as my excuse. I'm still afraid to tell them."

  "Well, when you do, you don't have to be specific about how we go about this, you know."

  "Well, yeah, I know that. Especially considering what I do with Kyle."

  Kyle finally arrived, and I got to witness him getting similar kisses, which confirmed what Dexter had explained to me. There was a big difference though. Kyle and Dexter got lots of kisses. The rest of the men shook my hand. Dexter leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Next time they'll kiss you, too. Most of the time when you first meet, they'll just shake your hand."

  Heading out to the parking lot, Dexter and Leonard walked toward their car. Kyle and I were parked nearby. Throwing our dirty uniforms in the trunk, we prepared to head home. Jake was already long gone.

  Thoughts of Coming Out

  Preston

  I knew Kyle was anxious to ask me what I thought about the training session, but before I let him talk, I needed to get something off my chest. "I think I need to come out."

  "What are you talking about? You're out," Kyle said as he pulled out of the lot.

  "I'm not. Think about it. I've never been to a gay establishment outside of this class. I didn't even know this class was full of gay guys until Dexter told me. I have like no gaydar. I've never told my family. I don't know what acceptable gay behavior is and what isn't acceptable outside of what I've seen on TV. When I got kissed goodbye tonight I was put off. I didn't understand that it's common. The truth is, you're the only 'sexual' experience I've ever had. I absolutely don't want to change that, but I don't know very much about what it means to be gay besides what I do every day with you."

  Kyle took a moment to help me understand something that had never occurred to me. "The truth is," he said, "'how to be gay' is a highly personal thing. The patterns of behavior that you and I develop are ours. Nobody else has to live by our rules and we don't have to live by theirs. I understand that knowing certain social norms would be helpful to you, but never feel you have to do anything you see others doing if it doesn't seem natural to you. For instance, if the guys in the class kiss you hello and goodbye, but you'd rather they not, you can avoid that. Nob
ody will really care. Got it?"

  Kyle always seemed to know what to say to put me at ease. "Yeah, that does kinda simplify things."

  "Not to change the subject," he said, "but how do you think your parents would take it?"

  "I don't know. I've avoided telling them, but I think it's time."

  "Well, don't rush into it. Give it some thought and plan this out. This is an important moment in your life and you don't want to make it more than it is, but you don't want to treat it like it doesn't matter either. It always matters, so take your time and plan this out. When you tell your parents, you need to be confident that you're not going to get all defensive, and no matter what you hear, you're not going to get too hurt."

  After hearing his advice, I thought that planning was something I'd have done anyway. Being confident about my reaction might be something else entirely.

  Kyle seemed to realize he'd stressed being prepared for the worst and expounded on the possibilities. "Some parents are great about it and some parents are horrible. Even the parents that take it hard usually come around after they've gotten used to the idea. Remember, it took you a long time to accept yourself. If they don't already know, it's likely going to take a while for them, too. You're going to remember their reaction the rest of your life. Whatever happens will always be with you. If things happen you don't expect, they can make you stronger or they can hurt. Planning for both reactions is important."

  "Did you plan? Were your parents okay with it?"

  "My parents were great. Mom said she'd always known. She'd shared her suspicions with my dad who wasn't willing to accept it then, but by the time I told them, he was ready to hear it and told me he loved me. The way I felt about them changed. Be prepared for that. One way or the other it changes things. You either love them more because you're no longer afraid or you resent them for not approving of who you are."

  We sat quietly for the rest of the trip home. I thought about how I'd present this to my parents. I knew they loved me, but somewhere deep down I thought they loved who they thought I was. Of all people, they deserved to know. I had no reason to think they'd freak out. They weren't all religious and straight-laced. Maybe I had nothing to be afraid of, but I was.