Home on Apple Blossom Road (Life in Icicle Falls)

by Sheila Roberts

  “She definitely is,” Mia said.

  Colin pointed to the carrot. “Getting your beta carotene for the day, Dot?”

  She took a chomp and shook her head. “Tilda made me quit smoking. Every time I want a ciggy I shove a carrot stick in my mouth. Let me tell you, it’s not the same. I think I’m going to try e-cigarettes.”

  “Yeah, Tilda’s gonna be impressed with that,” Colin said sardonically.

  Dot gave a long-suffering sigh. “Well, let’s get to your clue. I’ve got it in my office. Come on back.”

  Dot’s office was small and cramped, with paperwork piled everywhere.

  “This looks the same as when I was working here,” Mia said.

  “Yeah, a mess. A messy desk is the sign of an orderly mind.” Dot pawed around under the piles of papers and finally came up with the pink envelope. “I’m dying to hear what your clue is. Justine was very mysterious.” She passed it to Colin, and he pulled out the pink paper and read, “‘Roses are red, violets are blue. Someone has a clue for you.’”

  Dot chortled. “Ha! That Justine was a clever one.”

  “You know what it means?” Colin asked.

  “Well, I can guess. Can’t you?”

  “Lupine Floral,” said Mia.

  Dot chomped off another bite of carrot and nodded in Colin’s direction. “Make him buy you some flowers when you’re there.”

  “You’d better take that lunch break now,” Mia told Colin as they left.

  “Let’s hit Lupine Floral first,” he said. “There can’t be that many clues still to go.”

  “Okay, if you want to be in trouble with your girlfriend, it’s your funeral.”

  “Order roses for my grave,” he cracked. “One more stop, and then we’ll get lunch. I’ve gotta admit, I’m ready to eat.”

  Yet again, Lorelei summoned him on his cell phone. “Okay, I’m still at this place called Zelda’s and I’m really getting hungry.”

  “Me, too, but we have one more stop.”

  “How about we make it just you and me for lunch?” Lorelei suggested.

  “Can’t. Mia and I have another clue to work on.”

  “You couldn’t take an hour off?”

  “The sooner we solve this, the sooner you and I can go back to Seattle.” And that was what he wanted, to finish with this whole schizoid mess. He was having these crazy thoughts about Mia because Gram’s hunt was making him sentimental. You couldn’t recreate the past, and that was all they had. She was a hotshot at her big company in Chicago now, and he was...living in Seattle.

  “Okay, fine,” Lorelei said. “I’m starting without you. They’ve got a drink called a Chocolate Kiss. A chocolate kiss is better than none.”

  “Well, you like chocolate, babe,” he said. Lame.

  Mia cocked an eyebrow as he ended the call and shoved his phone back in his pants pocket. “Don’t ask,” he said.

  Heinrich was nowhere to be seen when they walked in, but his partner Kevin was manning the floor. He was in the process of helping Gerhardt Geissel, who owned Gerhardt’s Gasthaus, choose some flowers.

  “I’ll lay you odds he’s buying a Deep Shit bouquet,” Colin said to Mia.

  “Deep Shit bouquet?”

  “Yeah, as in he’s in deep shit with his wife and trying to get out.”

  “When she sees these, she’ll fall into your arms and beg you to take her to bed,” Kevin predicted. “Or maybe to the kitchen table.”

  “The only thing we’ve done on our kitchen table for the last thirty years is eat,” Gerhardt said with a solemn shake of his head. “And Ingrid’s already made the bed. Once the bed is made for the day...” he added with another head shake.

  Kevin gave him a consoling pat on the arm. “Well, this will at least get you out of trouble.”

  “Oh, yeah. Deep Shit bouquet,” Mia whispered.

  “One of the only things a guy stands a chance of getting right,” he whispered back.

  “Was that said with some bitterness?” Mia teased.

  He shrugged. “More like regret. What would you have done if I’d sent you flowers after we broke up?”

  “The same thing I would’ve done if only you’d believed me.”

  If only. Those two words summed it all up. Too late now.

  Colin walked over to where Gerhardt was paying for a King Kong–size bouquet with enough roses to fill the White House rose garden. “That’s a serious bundle of flowers, Gerhardt.”

  “Needs to be,” Gerhardt muttered as he gathered it up. “So how are you two doing on your treasure hunt?”

  “Is there anyone in town who doesn’t know about this?” Colin asked.

  “Oh, come on now,” Kevin said. “This is better than any of those Real Housewives’ shows on TV. We’re one of the clues,” he told Gerhardt. “Heinrich was beside himself. He’s such a romantic. Heinrich,” he called in the general direction of the back room. “Guess who’s here.”

  Heinrich was already on his way out. “Dear boy, I knew you’d be back,” he said to Colin. “It was all I could do not to say something when you were here earlier.”

  “But he can keep a secret when he needs to,” put in Kevin. “So can I,” he added, then turned to Gerhardt. “So if you and Ingrid wind up on the kitchen table...”

  Gerhardt merely shook his head. “I’d like to stand here all day listening to your Quatsch, but I have work to do. And believe me, after what I said about Ingrid’s useless brother, getting her to forgive me is going to be hard work, even with the flowers.”

  “Especially if you use the word useless,” Heinrich warned.

  Gerhardt took his out-of-control bouquet and left, and Heinrich turned his full attention to Mia and Colin. “Now, what can I do for you two? As if I couldn’t guess.”

  “You can give us our next clue,” Colin said.

  Heinrich was about to retrieve it, but Kevin said, “Wait. Make him show you the proof.”

  “Yeah.” Heinrich crossed his arms and frowned. “Prove it.”

  “You guys have way too much time on your hands,” Colin said and produced the pink stationery.

  Heinrich unfolded it and read with Kevin peering over his shoulder. “That is so cute. A little obvious but cute.”

  “The next clue?” Colin nudged.

  “Such impatience,” Heinrich said, and went back to his workroom to fetch it.

  “While you’re waiting, how about some flowers?” Kevin suggested. “Our Stargazer lilies have a lovely fragrance. Or you could go with the classic single long-stemmed rose, the sure way to a woman’s heart,” he said, smiling at Mia.

  Mia blushed. “That’s okay.”

  “No, it’s a good idea,” Colin said. “But it has to be pink. That’s her favorite color.”

  “No problemo,” Kevin said and went to select a pink rose from the cooler.

  Meanwhile, Heinrich was back with their next clue. “Here you go,” he said and handed it to Mia.

  “What does it say?” asked Kevin, who was now wrapping Mia’s rose with some baby’s breath and a fern.

  She opened it and announced, “It’s driving instructions.”

  Now this was the kind of clue Colin enjoyed. “All right!”

  “Like pirates on a desert island walking off paces. I love it,” said Kevin.

  “Oh, I wish we could help you. Such fun!” Heinrich declared as Kevin gave Mia the rose. “Enjoy the rest of your hunt.”

  “And the rose,” said Kevin, who was making change for a ten. “Nothing says love like flowers.”

  “Or ‘I’m sorry,’” Colin murmured. Which was he saying to Mia? Never mind!

  “Does it sound like it’s far?” he asked as they walked to the car. “Maybe we can stop there before we go to Zelda’s.”
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  Lorelei’s ringtone called out from the back pocket of his jeans.

  “Gee, I wonder who that is,” Mia said.

  “We’re on our way,” he answered. It looked as if there’d be no more stops.

  “Hurry up,” Lorelei said. “These kisses are grrreat but I need food.”

  He could tell. “I think she’s getting bombed,” he said to Mia after he ended the call. “She’s not a big drinker. Empty calories,” he added.

  “I’m sure you’ll find a way to help her work them off later.”

  “Is that a little bit of snark I detect?”

  “No,” Mia said airily and got into the car.

  Was she jealous? “How come you don’t like her?” he asked as they drove toward Zelda’s.

  “I never said I didn’t like her. I hardly know her.”

  “Then maybe you’re jealous.” If she was...

  “And maybe you’re delusional.”

  Yeah, he probably was.

  “So, are you in trouble?” Mia asked.

  He shrugged.“Want the rose?” she offered.

  “No, that’s yours.” But he hoped to heaven she’d leave it in the car.

  She did, God bless her, even though she must have realized it would wilt in there.

  Lorelei was ensconced in a booth with her drink. She had her hair down and wore a tight black top, sleeveless and low cut, over her jeans. The outfit’s hot factor was considerably diminished by the frown. “Where have you been?” she greeted Colin.

  As if she didn’t know. “Trying to figure out where my inheritance is,” he said, sliding in next to her.

  She eyed Mia suspiciously. “All this time?”

  “Yeah, all this time,” he said, and now he was frowning, too. “You don’t have to stay here.”

  “I want to,” she insisted. “I want to help you.”

  “But you can’t,” Mia said sweetly.

  Lorelei squinted as if she was having trouble bringing Mia into focus. “Nobody asked...you,” she said, and downed the last of her drink.

  “Babe, how many of those have you had?”

  “Two,” Lorelei said, and held up three fingers.

  “Have you eaten anything yet?”

  “No. I was waiting for you.”

  Their waitress arrived. “Let’s order,” he said.

  Lorelei picked up her menu. “I haven’t decided what I want.”

  “You’ve had at least an hour to make up your mind,” he said.

  “I...know.”

  “How many drinks has she had?” he asked the waitress.

  “Three. She’s done.”

  “She’ll take the Northwest salad,” Colin said.

  “No, I want a veggie burger,” Lorelei declared.

  “You had that last night,” he reminded her. “Don’t you want something with no carbs?”

  “I’ll work them off when we get back to Seattle,” Lorelei said. “Or later tonight.” She laid her hand on his thigh, making him think of Mia’s earlier snarky comment. Normally, he would’ve been happy to help his girlfriend work off some calories. Instead, here he was, wishing she’d go back home. Multiple personalities, that was it. He had multiple personalities.

  “I’ll have the Northwest salad, too,” Mia said. “Iced tea to drink.”

  “I’ll have another Chocolate Kish,” Lorelei slurred.

  “I’m sorry,” the waitress said, “but three’s the limit.”

  “What kind of restaurant is this?”

  “She’ll take an iced coffee,” Colin said.

  “And for you, sir?” asked the waitress.

  Aspirin. “Just water. And a club sandwich.”

  “How many more clues do you have left, anyway?” Lorelei asked as the waitress walked off.

  “I have no idea,” Colin replied.

  She leaned an elbow on the table and gazed up at him. “I wonder what the treasure is. If it’s gold we should invest in the gym. We could also cash some in and go to Hawaii. Or Peru. We could go zip-lining in Cuzco, babe.”

  Mia raised an eyebrow and Colin felt his face sizzling. This habit Lorelei was developing of speculating on his inheritance and how to spend it—with his grandmother barely gone—was tacky. More than that it was... He didn’t want to put into words what it was, but the big one crouched there at the back of his mind. Greedy.

  Of course, he was out looking for his inheritance. What did that say about him? Gram, I swear I’d rather have you back than whatever you left me. Suddenly he wasn’t hungry.

  When the waitress returned with their drinks, Colin nudged Lorelei’s toward her. “Have some iced coffee.”

  She took a quick sip and then started talking again. “I don’t understand why it’s taking you so long to find this...whatever.” She waved her drink, sloshing it on him.

  “It’s just the way the clues are coming,” he said, grabbing a napkin.

  “You should take a break,” she said. “Let’s spend a little time wandering around town. Give your mind a rest.”

  “Lorelei, I really want to get this done,” he said.

  “Fine. Suit yourself.”

  Okay, Lorelei was not showing well. There was more to her than shopping and getting tipsy and talking about trips. He wouldn’t pick such a loser girlfriend. She recycled and did the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure every year. She ran marathons and half marathons and...spent money like it was water, nagged him every time he ordered dessert when they went out to eat. Which they did a lot. Lorelei was into fitness, but she was also into expensive restaurants and fine wine. Clothes. Jewelry. Yeah, the simple life.

  Their lunch arrived, and Lorelei decided she needed to remove the top bun from her veggie burger. He took advantage of her preoccupation to ask Mia, “So where are we supposed to start?”

  She pulled out the stationery again and consulted it. “Grandma Justine’s house.”

  He nodded. “After we eat, we should run Lorelei back to Gerhardt’s.”

  “I don’t want to go back there. I want to do something,” Lorelei said.

  “You shouldn’t drive,” he told her.

  “I didn’t drive here. I walked. This town is so small, I bet I could walk the whole place in an hour.”

  “You tired of it already?” he asked.

  “There’s not much to do.”

  How the tune had changed from her earlier raving over what a cute place it was.

  “I mean, what do people here do for fun?”

  They went dancing at the Red Barn, came here to Zelda’s for karaoke night, visited with friends at Bavarian Brews, hiked in the mountains, fished in the river, got married, raised families, tended orchards, made wine. “There’s plenty to do here.”

  “If you say so,” she said. She stuck out her lower lip. “I guess I’m just feeling lonely.”

  “Lorelei, don’t start.” At the rate she was going, she’d have him in a straitjacket before the weekend was over. Actually, he didn’t need Lorelei for that. He was doing a fine job of driving himself crazy without her assistance.

  “You go off with Miss Mountain Girl and don’t worry about me. Even though I came up here to help you.”

  Alcohol did not bring out the best in Lorelei. And Lorelei was not bringing out the best in him. “Look. I promise we’ll do something tonight, okay? I’ll take you dancing.”

  “Okay,” she said, mollified.

  “Can you find enough to do until then?”

  Lorelei glared across the table at Mia and asked Colin, “What are you going to do for dinner?”

  “I just had lunch.” How the hell was he supposed to know what he was doing for dinner? He’d barely touched his sandwich, but it was definitely time to go. “Look, I’ll catch up with y
ou later. Okay?”

  “You’re leaving now? You’re not even done eating!” Lorelei protested.

  He shook his head, signaled the waitress and gave her his credit card.

  “Where did you say you were from?” Lorelei asked Mia while they waited.

  “I didn’t,” Mia said, and smiled. It wasn’t a friendly smile.

  Women. Life would be so much easier if men didn’t need them.

  September 27, 2003

  Dear Emmaline,

  I’m glad to hear that your first art show went so well. Maybe you’ll go on to become the next Grandma Moses. Not that you’re as old as her, of course, but you know what I mean.

  All’s quiet here on the western front these days. Mia is starting school back in New York, and Colin is busy taking classes at the local community college. He misses her terribly, but it might be good for them to have a little time apart. You’ve heard the saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Although I can’t imagine Colin becoming any fonder of his Mia than he already is. Dylan is convinced they’re too young to know what they’re doing, but I think he’s wrong. Some people are simply lucky enough to find each other at an early age, and that’s what happened with these two. Watching them together reminds me so much of Gerald and me, and you and Joey, when we were all young.

  I forgot to tell you the other day. I’m now offering a weekly baking class, teaching some of our younger women to bake pies. I swear, Emmaline, it’s almost a lost art! Two of our local young wives and Bailey Sterling are going to be my first pupils. I was originally going to do this only for adults, but that girl loves to cook and she begged to be included. Her mother says she was thrilled when she learned I was going to let her join us. This week is our first lesson and we’re making apple pie. Dylan will be especially happy about that, as apple is his favorite.

  Well, dear, on that note I’m going to close. My students will be coming later this afternoon and I want to take a little rest before “school” starts. Give my best to Joey and tell J.J. congratulations on his new job.

  Love,

  Justine

  Chapter Eleven

  “Okay, now what?” Colin asked after he and Mia had driven two blocks from their starting point at Grandma Justine’s and turned left.