by Beva John
“No!” I cry out and another aid says, “Shh, everything will be all right.”
But I know that is not true.
Once again, someone sticks me with a needle and again my world turns dark.
MAGNAR
The doctors tell me of the miscarriage when I arrive at the hospital. The Royal Physician Prot, my personal doctor, has come to supervise Lottie’s care. Lottie has been given a sedative. “Was this caused by the kidnapping?”
Prot shakes his head. I have known him all my life and I trust him completely. “No, sir. There were chromosomal problems and the fetus had a weak heart.”
“Why was I not told of this before?”
“The medical teams thought it best for the fetus to continue. Some heart difficulties can be remedied after birth. Given the difficulty your prior embryos had in attaching themselves to the surrogates uterine wall, our medical opinion was that it was best to let the fetus live.”
I sink down into a chair, still devastated by the news. My child, my baby that only a few days before was turning in Lottie’s womb is now dead. Gone.
“And the surrogate? Lottie? How is she?”
Prot tells me, “She is bleeding and has some cramping, but other than that, she is well.”
“Will she have any lasting physical damage?”
“No, sir.”
I walk into the room where Lottie is sleeping. Her face is pale, and she is surrounded by medical equipment. I sit beside the bed and hold her hand in mine. Tears fill my eyes and I blink them away.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
MAGNAR
“I think it is best if we choose a new surrogate,” Jing says. “And possibly we should consider having two this time.”
“I agree,” my mother says. “It will improve the chance of success.”
I was invited to a meeting in the Queen’s private chambers and now both women are trying to convince me to abandon Lottie.
With them sitting beside each other, I am surprised by their physical resemblance – both pretty, both small with tiny waists and a love for jewelry. My mother is Queen and one day my fiancé will be Queen. The only difference between the two of them is their age. My mother is sixty-nine and Jing is twenty-nine.
Jing says sharply, “It is partly the human’s fault for leaving the palace. What was she doing – going out to eat?”
Jing does not know that Lottie was kidnapped. My mother knows, but she does not refer to it. The attack and kidnapping were successfully hidden from the news media – the entire event was disguised as a simple robbery. Only a few people know of the miscarriage.
I say, “The doctors say that the fetus itself was unhealthy. The miscarriage was not Lottie’s fault.”
Jing says, “I understand your wanting to use her again, out of some kind of misguided loyalty or appreciation, but I think we should be more practical.”
I look at both women. They do not understand my feelings – how could they? To them, Lottie is a walking womb, nothing more. I say firmly, “Lottie is the only surrogate I am willing to consider at this time.”
My mother looks at me with tight disapproval, her lips in a line. “We will talk about this later,” she says sternly, and I can imagine hearing the same tone from Jing in the future. I know that later, my mother will give me a lecture in private, but on this matter, I will remain firm.
I will have no other surrogate than Lottie.
Lottie is back in her rooms at the palace with a nurse to watch over her. She is recovering – eating and sleeping well. The doctor says that she will be able to conceive again in six weeks. According to the Allathone calendar, Human females have a 26-day reproductive cycle.
I fear that if I see Lottie face to face that my sorrow will overpower me, so I have stayed away, keeping my distance, grieving alone.
Fahar contacts me, wanting to discuss the Council position, but I postpone talking with him.
A few days after Lottie has returned, Serat meets with me privately. He walks slowly, but with purpose. He speaks with a low, calm voice. He tells me that the kidnappers have been found and suitably removed.
“Thank you.”
“And we have arranged for the surrogate to have six bodyguards at all times.”
I nod. “What of Urit?” The last I had heard, Lottie’s original bodyguard was in the hospital, having been shot four times.
“He is recovering, but he will not be able to return to duty.”
I suspected as much. “Arrange for his retirement and give him my deepest appreciation.”
“Yes, sir,” Serat says. “And there is another civil matter we must discuss.”
“What is it?”
“My intelligence officers and I had hoped that we would not need this conversation but given the recent royal miscarriage and the underlying reasons for it, we must now share some highly confidential governmental information with you.”
This sounds ominous. “Does the Queen know these secrets?”
“No, she does not.”
“Then why are you telling me?”
“Because it concerns you, sir, and not her.”
I don’t understand but I wait for him to explain.
“It is common knowledge that the Brune have a negative birthrate. and that, our people are suffering from various physical maladies. Some brought on by prior bad customs, some due to limited breeding patterns.”
“I know all this,” I say impatiently.
Serat continues. “Some scientists have recommended that in order to strengthen our general health and improve our birthrate, that Brunes should begin interspecies breeding, particularly with Humans.”
Brixing hell. “Are you suggesting that I do that?”
“No, sir. I am telling you that your father, King Tormag already did so. You are the result of such breeding. You are half Human. You are the biological child of your father, but not of Queen Erdene.
I feel momentarily faint and my head pounds. Half Human – how can this be? “I don’t look human.”
“Brune characteristics such as ear shape and skin color tend to be dominant.”
“But how can – why did I not know this before?”
“It was a governmental secret. Only a handful of people knew. Your personal physician, of course.”
Prot knew and never told me?
“Does the Queen know?”
“No.”
Brixing hell.
Serat has the grace to look abashed. “We would not have told you, either, if the royal succession were not at risk. The doctors hoped that your being half human would be enough to ensure a healthy fetus, but that did not happen. The doctors now believe you should breed with a human, to create a fetus with the best chance of survival.”
“That would make the heir to the throne three-fourths Human.”
“Yes, sir.”
This information has turned my world upside down. I am half Human? All my life, I was healthier than my peers – especially Tomor. I always thought it was a matter of good fortune, not DNA.
Serat says, “I will send you a viewing from your father that he recorded before his death.”
My father. How could he have kept this secret from me? And yet, I know why. With the state of the laws when I was born, as a mixed species child, I could not have inherited the throne.
No wonder my father worked so tireless to improve the rights of all residents of Allathone – he was providing the foundation for me – his mixed species son – to inherit and to rule.
Serat sends a communication viewing to my data screen and with a sinking heart, I open it.
In the viewing, I see my father, lying on his bed, propped up by pillows. “My dear Magnar,” he begins in his low weak voice. “When you watch this, I will have gone the way of all the ancients, but I thought it best to make a recording so you can understand why I did what I have done.
“It is with a heavy heart that I address you.
“You cannot be blind to the fact that our people are dying.
We’ve had negative birth rates for over 1000 years, which has resulted in greater immigration just to make society work. However, there is something particular that you do not know that I kept hidden from you and hidden from our people.
“Initially, I thought that this was wise but as I near death, I question whether I should have spoken sooner or if I should take this knowledge to my grave. However, I don’t think that would be possible because it is almost impossible to keep a secret. Eventually someone would tell you, and I would prefer that traveler to be me.
“Magnar, you know that your two older brothers and sister all died at young ages. They were sickly like many of the Brunes, mentally brilliant but their bodies failed them. None of them could have lived to adulthood or been able to govern this beautiful world.
“Your sister Emjer came close to death as well, but somehow she lived, and her mental capacity was never great, even as a child. I knew she was too sickly to ever take the throne.
“When I saw that my children were not fit for rule, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I had heard some rumors that there were Brunes breeding with humans. I did my research. I visited some of these people and saw their children, and the half-breed children were healthier. Stronger. I looked at the data and realized that if I wanted to have a son of mine live and govern, he would have to be half-human.
“Now, I knew that this could not be a matter of public record – the prejudice against Humans was too great. So, we arranged for your nanny to receive an embryo from the Queen and myself and then, I bribed Prot. Instead of implanting the embryo, I had sex with your nanny and ultimately, she conceived. You are that child, the resultant birth.”
I pause the viewing, stunned by what I have heard. My nanny is my biological mother? “Is this true?” I ask Serat, who stands beside me as I watch this viewing.
“Yes, sir.”
I continue to watch my father speak.
“You are half-Human, half-Brune, and your life is better for it. From the very beginning, you were stronger, you were sturdier, you did not get ill as often. You’ve had excellent health your entire life and I also believe your mind is quicker, possibly because Humans, for whatever their flaws, are creative.
“You have been a great joy to me, and I am proud to be your father.
“I believe you are a wise traveler, a good person and that you will take this knowledge of your heritage and use it to your benefit and for the blessing of our people.
“I know you will do your duty and act with integrity. Whether you share this information with others, is your decision, but I know that whatever you decide, you will act ethically.
“Personally, I believe that the future for our species will involve widespread breeding with humans.
“I know of several mixed species births in your generation, and I have my suspicions of others. But their fathers, like myself, have kept this information hidden.
“This is a weighty matter and I apologize for not being brave enough to tell you earlier. I did not want to offend your mother or cause an uprising.
“I did not know how to tell the Queen without her feeling betrayed.
“But as much as I love and admire the Queen, I love Allathone more. I knew that if I did not take this risk, our royal family would end. And the aristocracy would follow.
“I did what I did, and now it is your burden, not mine.”
“Farewell and Goddess bless you, Magnar.”
As the viewing ends, I clear my data screen.
Serat asks, “Do you have any questions, Your Highness?”
I have hundreds of questions, but I am in no mood to ask them now. “Later. I would like to be alone.”
“Yes, sir.”
He leaves and I am left alone with my mental torture.
I feel like vomiting, but I sit still, resting my head in my hands.
Half human? How can I be half human? I am horrified.
I think of all the stupid, selfish things I have said and done in my past.
Things I have heard and did not correct.
Jokes about humans being less than Brune.
I realize that all my connection to the Queen is a lie. Ancestors that I thought were mine, are no longer mine.
I am human.
Half human.
Goddess, my nanny is my mother. And she knew all the time?
I feel a wave of resentment against her and my father.
How could they have done this thing?
This mixed species abomination?
As much as I have championed the rights of other species to have citizenship on Allathone, the truth is, I always knew that the Brune were better.
It was in my blood and my understanding of the universe.
The Namvire were greedy, the Katoll were brutes, and humans hardly deserved any attention at all. They were like children.
I wanted to help other species, but always in a patronizing way – from a position of strength and superiority.
Perhaps I will vomit.
Brixing Hell.
The fact that I am half Human explains so many things – more than my being healthier.
What of my irritation and the sense that I never fit in with my peers? I have always been irritated by the trappings and obligations of my rank.
Inside, I have always been impatient, wanting to break free.
Is that my human side?
I suppose this means that I am more like Lottie than I thought. Both of us have an inner fire – the desire to learn and to make things better. Perhaps that is part of the reason I have been so drawn to her.
Goddess, I don’t know what to do.
Is it right for me to inherit the throne?
Should I step down and let my full Brune cousin Chell inherit?
But that’s not what my father wanted. Obviously, he was trying to make things better for my people and to have his royal line continue.
I think of my dead siblings. There is no guarantee that Chell would be able to have living children, either – and where would that leave Allathone?
Perhaps it is time to have a hybrid species to be ruling this planet.
History has shown that no royal family can rule forever.
That evening, there is another royal dinner.
The Queen is pleased to see me, but we do not talk. As I make polite conversation with the people around me, I consider my childhood. My mother – or more accurately, the Queen – has never been particularly loving. She was always emotionally cool. I always thought it was because she was naturally reticent, particularly after losing three of her children. But now I wonder if she had her suspicions – if she knew that I was not her biological son.
At the dinner, I find my mind wandering, so I inadvertently ignore Jing. She shows me viewings of two different human females in her uncle’s collection on her data screen. “Either one of them would make excellent surrogates, and my uncle is willing to give them as a wedding gift.”
Why does that not surprise me? Kitre wants me to owe him favors. “No, thank you.”
“The Queen likes this one, here.” She points.
Jing will never see Humans as equals. I don’t think she would want to be married to a traveler who is half Human. Could this be a way to break our engagement?
“We do not need another surrogate,” I tell her.
She isn’t pleased, but she eventually drops the subject.
Later when most of the guests have gone, she confronts me. “You hardly spoke to anyone tonight. Even the Queen noticed. What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” I lie. Other than being half human.
She says, “Ever since the miscarriage, you have been moody and unhappy. You need to relax. Lord Remton is hosting a three-day event on his estate. You should come. Everyone will be there.”
I know what Lord Remton’s parties are like. “If everyone is there, no one will need me.”
She touches my arm and I flinch, stepping away from her, breaking the contact between us. She know
s I don’t like being touched.
She pouts. “It will be fun.”
Does she think pouting will make me change my mind? “It will be a drunken orgy.”
“Sex is a great way to relax. Much better than just using an assistor.”
“You go and enjoy yourself,” I tell her.
“Is this what our marriage will be – you staying at the Palace while I go to parties by myself?”
It is an important question, but not one I am willing to answer.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
LOTTIE
The Palace feels like a prison now and not even my birds can lift my spirits. I have lost Prince Magnar’s child.”
And I feel that I have lost him as well. The nurses at the hospital told me that he came to visit while I was asleep, but he has not spoken to me directly.
Does he blame me? Have I lost his friendship?
The doctors say I am recovering from the miscarriage, but inside, I am grieving.
Princess Emjer visits me, bringing a plate with my favorite dessert – the licorice flavored marzipan that we have often made together. “This is my first solo attempt,” she tells me. “I hope it is the way you like it.”
I taste one of the little molded candies and pronounce it to be excellent. “Thank you.”
MAGNAR
It occurs to me that if I become a member of the Intergalactic Cooperative Council instead of inheriting the Crown, Jing will most likely leave me. She agreed to marry me because she wants to be Queen someday. So I speak with Fahar via our data screens. “Greetings. We spoke earlier about a replacement member for the Council. And I am wondering if the Council would accept a candidate that is not fully Brune.”
Fahar responds back. “What do you mean? Is this a new candidate?”
“Yes. Someone who is half Brune and half human.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“No, I’m not joking.”
There’s a long silence and then Fahar says, “I don’t know what kind of trig you’re taking, but the Council would never accept anyone with human ancestry as a member. Allathone may have opened their citizenship to Humans, but you will never see one on the Council. It would be like allowing a Teek to take a seat.” He laughs at the absurdity.
